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RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 7:16:00 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

So, are you saying that those who do participate in the public are only into it to find a 'partner' for an hour?! Ehh no. (not saying there are not those who do that, but you really shouldn't generalize.) I participate because: 1.) I like meeting people.
2.) gaining knowledge. I go as much as possible to the classes and workshops that my area offers. 3.) people to play with/ AND finding my Mistress and submissive. While I like internet, I have discovered that it being my only resourse for finding people to be a pain in the ass. And I like participating in my local community so much that I require the same in those that I have a serious relationship with. If I were to learn the art of caining from someone, I would much rather prefer to learn from a Dom whom the community agrees on being an good authority on that subject. Not from some guy who happens to have it listed in his profile.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 61

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 7:17:29 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

SlaveSuru, LatexHer, Xoxi and LadyLynx:

Thank you for your on-topic contributions.

< Message edited by Bobkgin -- 10/12/2007 7:19:15 AM >

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 62

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 7:31:11 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

Gypsygirl, MsWorthy:

Thank you for your contributions.

I find it interesting that you only engage people who are calling you out on you're dodgy op. If you were truly interested in discussing the issue raised in your op, and learning about the perspectives of others such as myself, who do believe that 'the public scene' is part of their one true way, why don't you engage them?

If and when I have questions, I will ask them, as I did in the "Machismo and BDSM" thread.

Strangely enough, in that thread I was accused of only responding to those who agreed with me, and ignoring those who called me out.

And when I addressed them, I was accused of not responding to enough of their posts.

I suppose it is an honour that so many want me to respond to them they are willing to complain when I don't.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 63

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 7:46:39 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

/sniff

anyone else smelling sour grapes?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 64

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 7:49:09 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

If and when I have questions, I will ask them,

I suppose it is an honour that so many want me to respond to them they are willing to complain when I don't.

Those two sentences appearing in the same post almost made me lose my morning coffee through my nose!

Bob asking questions expects answers. To be asked a question is being "honored". Didn't realize that Bob was honoring us all. I didn't notice any complaint about the lack of response, it was simply a statement of fact. A lack of response to challenge has come to be expected.

What's the implication in refusing to answer questions and ignoring response when its provided? Dishonor? Abandonment? Betrayal? Cowardice?

Hercules (note the Machismo reference) has a thirteenth labor, this one generating a similar with a smell to the cleaning of the Augean stables in a single day - getting Bob to answer a direct question, or respond to his own quoted inconsistency.

Thank you for your consistency, Bob.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 65

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:11:08 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

In my Machismo and BDSM thread MadRabbit posted the following:

I can assure you the public scene is a lot different then the Internet, Bob.

I hope day you have some contact with it so you may actually know what you are talking about at some point.

I am curious to know how many other 'clueless wannabes' out there learned their BDSM in the privacy of their own home, in the intimacy of their loving relationships with spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends.

If you think that being in the local scene makes you lose intimacy or the loving aspect of your relationship, you have a LOT to learn.

quote:

How many other 'clueless wannabes' decided not to include a room full of spectators in their love-making practices?

Lose the assumptions, they just make you like an ass. Many BDSM events don't allow any fluids, much less love-making.

quote:

How many other 'clueless wannabes' did not feel the need for strangers telling them what to do when figuring out what to do with their lover?

No one, at any event, has ever told Valyraen and I what we should be doing. You should stop judging things you don't know anything about.

quote:

In other words, how many of us are practising bdsm without a 'clue' because we didn't follow Rabbit's "One True Way"?

Well you clearly don't have a clue about BDSM events and talk about it as though you know a lot about them, so why should I trust anything you ever say to be correct and not more facts pulled out of your rear end?

And frankly, I don't trust internet sources all that much.

For all I know you could be a 18 year old guy with a bad case of zits and starved for attention, unable to laid if he paid. There are some people I trust here because I have watched their posts and they are pretty consistent with both what they say and with what I learned from books and people I met in real life.

In school, one of the first things they taught me was to be very, very, very careful with internet sources. There are a lot of people out there polluting the information superway with bad info.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/12/2007 8:15:52 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 66

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:13:00 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

On topic means you agree with bob?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 67

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:18:50 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

Bob, I have to say I'm disappointed that you would start an entire thread to "call out" another poster. If you really wanted to expand on this topic you could have done it in a way that called for discussion without attacking another poster. By quoting only a portion of what he said and adding your comments, we do not know the context in which that statement was made. We have only your interpretation.

This is unbecoming behavior.

I've already provided a link to the thread in the OP, TN.

But this will, perhaps, be clearer:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1334729/mpage_15/key_/tm.htm

Post #294

As for discussion, there is plenty of room for discussion on this topic.

What's clear here is that you want to discuss how you think Rabbit is an ass. Otherwise there would have been no mention of Rabbit.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 68

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:19:57 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Let's skip this joint and enjoy some amaretto!

Ooooo...I just happen to have a bottle of Disarrono that I've been wanting to share.

...

I'm all yours.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 69

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:22:41 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

In my Machismo and BDSM thread MadRabbit posted the following:

I can assure you the public scene is a lot different then the Internet, Bob.

I hope day you have some contact with it so you may actually know what you are talking about at some point.

I am curious to know how many other 'clueless wannabes' out there learned their BDSM in the privacy of their own home, in the intimacy of their loving relationships with spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends.

How many other 'clueless wannabes' decided not to include a room full of spectators in their love-making practices?

How many other 'clueless wannabes' did not feel the need for strangers telling them what to do when figuring out what to do with their lover?

In other words, how many of us are practising bdsm without a 'clue' because we didn't follow Rabbit's "One True Way"?

It wasn’t Rabbit’s “One True Way”, fucktard, as well you know.

If anyone around here does One True Way thinking it’s you. Your posts clearly show that, in your head, there’s your opinion, and the wrong opinion.

Now, finally, I’m convinced. You’re either a troll, or so genuinely clueless and inexperienced as makes no appreciable difference.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 70

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:24:15 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Anyone wanna bet this is still going on when I get back on Sunday?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 71

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:26:32 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

Fast Reply:

Someone last night mentioned “Public Play”…and then this morning there is a thread on the same topic. This has me thinking…what is ‘public play’?

To me, public play is involvement with the BDSM community; occasionally attending munches, offering help to newbies, going to demos and discussions to learn more about the psychology or technique of a particular interest. To me, public play is The Lifestyle.

I realize some believe playing in public is wearing a collar and leash at Home Depot, or sitting in a restaurant trying to eat a meal, while someone plays with your genitals. This kind of behavior is not for me. I hold “Safe, Sane and Consensual” (SSC) close to my heart. In my world, consensual means agreeing to witness a behavior not found to be objectionable. In my world, I’m well aware the general public feels much of what we do more than a little objectionable. No collars, leashes or fetish wear in public for me.

In my world, public play does not generally include sex. Yes, play at a local dungeon among friends is more sexually charged and open than anything found on the streets…but I have never seen really overt sexual behavior. Once, in a secluded corner away from most of the rest of the folks, I noticed someone engaged in oral sex; fully clothed, I might add. Still, in a local dungeon, the general public is not in attendance and the place is full of consenting adults. When I go to such a place I am among people of like minds with regard to BDSM and all the energy and play that go with this lifestyle.

To me, public play is a place to learn, to grow, to mature within the lifestyle. It’s a place to meet people and join friends for an evening; it’s supportive, it’s educational, it’s reaffirming. Heck, when I go to a dungeon…it’s always fun, even if I don’t ‘scene’.

beverly

edited to add:

Okay...perhaps I should add I'm all about having fun, too. Wearing a rope-dress under my cloths or coping a feel at the grocery store when nobody is looking is wonderful. It's the overt stuff I can't handle; subtlety is glorious!

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 10/12/2007 8:32:49 AM >

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 72

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:27:46 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

oooh where are you going Aqua?

(in reply to Bearlee)

Post #: 73

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:28:44 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

quote:

If and when I have questions, I will ask them

You did ask questions...in the title of your op. And in the body of it. I answered the one in your title, and others addressed the ones in the body of your op. Then, instead of discussing the issues you raised, you did something else. (For the life of me, I can't succinctly charactize what you did. All I know is that you haven't addressed the issues you raised.)

quote:

I did in the "Machismo and BDSM" thread.

Strangely enough, in that thread I was accused of only responding to those who agreed with me, and ignoring those who called me out.

I didn't follow that thread. By the time I happened on it it was too long to read. Besides, it was about Machismo and not the public scene. Why would I participate in a thread about Machismo in order to discuss the Public Scene? (that's a rhetorical question and doesn't require an answer)

quote:

And when I addressed them, I was accused of not responding to enough of their posts.

What does my comment have to do with "them"? What them are you referring to? (Thats not a rhetorical question. I'm baffled and want to know.)

quote:

I suppose it is an honour that so many want me to respond to them they are willing to complain when I don't.

I didn't mean to honor you. I do value the public scene as a import part of the whole bd/sm spectrum and don't like to see it being misrepresented and ridiculed by those who have no interest in it, as you have done in your op. Perhaps you feel honored by my comments. I assure you, it wasn't my intention.

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 74

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:31:24 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

oooh where are you going Aqua?

Reenacting. Cooking over camp fires and sleeping in tents that make you appreciate modern tents so much. I can't wait to head out!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 75

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:31:44 AM

Alumbrado

Posts: 5560
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

What's clear here is that you want to discuss how you think Rabbit is an ass. Otherwise there would have been no mention of Rabbit.

Which shouldn't stop anyone from having a bobless discussion of an interesting issue. After all, we are all on block, so we can discuss among ourselves, right?

In general, I would find private play to be the better place for me to learn about the interpersonal power dynamic, and public play more of an open lab, where I can gain hands on experience on equipment and possibilities that I just don't have access to at home.

Now if someone already has 15 foot ceilings, motorized winches, a real rack, air bed, electric chair, spinning cross and so forth in their soundproofed house, along with club level sound and light system, then I can see why they would have no real need to venture out.

Me, I like to gather experiences from as broad a range as possible.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 76

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:33:36 AM

xoxi

Posts: 1066
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

oooh where are you going Aqua?

Reenacting. Cooking over camp fires and sleeping in tents that make you appreciate modern tents so much. I can't wait to head out!

omg that sounds awesome. Have fun!!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 77

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:38:32 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

In general, I would find private play to be the better place for me to learn about the interpersonal power dynamic, and public play more of an open lab, where I can gain hands on experience on equipment and possibilities that I just don't have access to at home.

Now if someone already has 15 foot ceilings, motorized winches, a real rack, air bed, electric chair, spinning cross and so forth in their soundproofed house, along with club level sound and light system, then I can see why they would have no real need to venture out.

Me, I like to gather experiences from as broad a range as possible.

I like venturing out so that I can learn from others and see how other couples with power dynamics function in the real world, not just how we present ourselves here. It has been very enlightening. I have learned so much there that I could never have possibly learned from the forums no matter how much time I spent here.

It's also nice to just socialize with people who "get it". No being careful about my words, no fretting about offending or spilling something that I shouldn't. Just being able to say exactly what I want feels wonderful to me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 78

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:39:27 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

...
In general, I would find private play to be the better place for me to learn about the interpersonal power dynamic, and public play more of an open lab, where I can gain hands on experience on equipment and possibilities that I just don't have access to at home.

Now if someone already has 15 foot ceilings, motorized winches, a real rack, air bed, electric chair, spinning cross and so forth in their soundproofed house, along with club level sound and light system, then I can see why they would have no real need to venture out.

Me, I like to gather experiences from as broad a range as possible.

(red italics are mine)

Sure ya would, Alumbrado... where else would you pick up that beautiful flick-of-the-wrist that makes a single tail pop? or hear of a place where you might find an authentic sjambock? or (when you were very new) learn that wrapping a cane over hipbones can cause serious damage? Where is it newbies learn how to ramp up a submissive/bottom...and back off, only to take them to higher places over and over again; making their journey with you a joyous occasion?

Yeah, I'm betting even if you did have your own wench...errrrrrrrr winch...you'd wanna go out, on occasion!

<giggles>
beverly

_____________________________

Click here for GREAT discussion on living this real-time.

How to use Code on Collarme

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 79

RE: Is Public Scening the "One True Way"? - 10/12/2007 8:40:02 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

omg that sounds awesome. Have fun!!

Thanks!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xoxi)

Post #: 80

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