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Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:11:39 PM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		"Under consideration"...
 
i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally?
 
i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along.
 
Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?
 
 
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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:16:42 PM   
MDTopCouple


Posts: 44
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline 		To my Sir, it's sort of like "going out" with or dating someone before making an active commitment to someone.
 
Some take it seriously, some use it as a ploy.  It all depends on the people involved.
 
-daisy

_____________________________

No, no, never a submissive anything! I'm a fully qualified, radical Desperado.
-Anne Stevenson
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.
-Lao Tzu

(in reply to shellzbythesea)
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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:16:49 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
There is a similar discussion going on in the: General BDSM Discussion called: more about collars

I think the best statement from that thread was made by SimplyMichael


~smilezz~

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:22:24 PM   
TheChauvinist


Posts: 76
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline 		I personally don't use this term. I find it to be silly. If two people are seriously involved with one another, they can just say so to those that inquire.

(in reply to shellzbythesea)
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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:24:15 PM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MDTopCouple

To my Sir, it's sort of like "going out" with or dating someone before making an active commitment to someone.
 
Some take it seriously, some use it as a ploy.  It all depends on the people involved.
 
-daisy


See, i can kind of understand, accept, and appreciate this first point.  If that's what it's meant to be, it makes total sense to me.  i mean, who doesn't go on at least a few dates with someone (even in vanilla land) before they even think about committing themselves further?
 
Thank you!

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:40:22 PM   
PrettyOHDomme


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline 		I currently have a submissive "under consideration." I mean the phrase to mean that we're getting to know each other. I don't necessarily want to be distracted by anyone else while I'm involved with him, but he certainly does not yet wear my collar.

I like the analogy to "vanilla dating."

Honestly, who would offer a collar after playing once or twice? However, you do need something to signify a connection.

-Miss Ellen

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:52:43 PM   
MyMasterStephen


Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		To me, taking a girl "under consideration" means that I am focussing all my time and attention upon her, trying to work out if we might be compatible long-term, and not seeking any contact with other submissives.  It is a preliminary and provisional demonstration of commitment.

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 3:53:52 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea
Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?
 
 


I think it could be. Just depends on who is using the term. I probably wouldn't care if a dominant I was seriously interested in wanted to use the term, as long as we were both on the same page regarding it's meaning.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 5:29:14 PM   
Sirandlil1


Posts: 272
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		 I have used "under consideration" when I was getting to know my lil1. To me it meant I was focused on her and seeing if we were meant to take that next big step....

you stated some "Domes" some feel using "under consideration"  as a ploy .....would a true Dom require to use anything as a "ploy"? I think not

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A true Master exhibits honor, integrity, honesty, self discipline, personal responsibility and caring for his property.

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 5:40:44 PM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlil1

I have used "under consideration" when I was getting to know my lil1. To me it meant I was focused on her and seeing if we were meant to take that next big step....

you stated some "Domes" some feel using "under consideration"  as a ploy .....would a true Dom require to use anything as a "ploy"? I think not


i'm talking about Doms that choose NOT to use this term or step in their D/s relationships.  These Doms have told me that those who *do* use this term are players.

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/21/2007 5:44:02 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Someone told me they got a lot of  "mean" mail after putting that on their profile, I think that would be rude, lol.  I tend to hide profiles that I see that on, to me it means they are talking serously to someone so I wont flirt or write them because I feel its disrespectful to the two involved 

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 5:31:44 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MyMasterStephen

To me, taking a girl "under consideration" means that I am focussing all my time and attention upon her, trying to work out if we might be compatible long-term, and not seeking any contact with other submissives.  It is a preliminary and provisional demonstration of commitment.


*nods*  i've used that term in the same manner. 

also...(as i am a sub) it lets dominants know that i am not looking at the time, and allows them to make an informed decision about messaging me.

kitten

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 5:51:42 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Consideration is analogous to dating seriously. It's more than just for fun but you haven't decided if he/she is The One.

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 5:53:00 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

These Doms have told me that those who *do* use this term are players.


Sounds like more nonsense from the "twue Dom" manual.

There are those who use these terms and are players.

There are those who use these terms and are serious.

I would be suspicious of generalizations in either direction.  People are individuals in the final analysis. I prefer to take them on that basis.


_____________________________



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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 6:53:24 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

"Under consideration"...
 
i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally?
 
i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along.
 
Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?
 
 


I always see it as someone saying they are going steady-leave us alone while we do some exploring.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:13:05 AM   
shellzbythesea


Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks to A/all who've responded.  i appreciate the viewpoints.  :)

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:25:05 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Chime me in with Celtic Lord and Rafe and others on this...

There are those who use this term and do so with starry-eyed romantic type submissives so they can keep her misdirected while they continue to play others. 

There are those who use this term and mean it seriously.  They have stopped dealing with other submissives, at least on a pursuit-type of level, and are focusing that pursuit-type of attention as well as other types of attention on one submissive.

As Rafe said, sort of like the BDSM version of "more serious than friends going out for a good time, we're going steady!!!".

(in reply to shellzbythesea)
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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:33:59 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I consider the words "under consideration" to mean the same thing as "seeing each other".  I think that people use it because they like the way it sounds.  I would not use it because it does nothing for me.  I'd say "we're dating" or "we're exclusive".  What are you considering?  If you like them?  If they like you?  If you want to pursue a relationship?  None of that requires special terminology.

_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:37:58 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I love that some subs are "under consideration" because it allows me to spot the wack jobs.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:51:13 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I consider the words "under consideration" to mean the same thing as "seeing each other".  I think that people use it because they like the way it sounds.  I would not use it because it does nothing for me.  I'd say "we're dating" or "we're exclusive".  What are you considering?  If you like them?  If they like you?  If you want to pursue a relationship?  None of that requires special terminology.


While I agree the phrase may be approximated by statements such as "we're dating," I think the phrase has some contextual merit.  Given the power dynamics of D/s and M/s relationships, saying one is "under consideration" also indicates the question of a prospective submissive's capacity to serve a particular dominant is being evaluated.

I believe two people can like, even love each other, and be completely ill-matched as a D/s or M/s couple.  In my experience, if the lifestyle has any intrinsic advantage to the vanilla world, it is this capacity to evaluate the viability of a longer-term relationship somewhat rationally (on both sides).


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