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RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:04:53 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gracieamelia

Is pre-owned like "under consideration"?

No, pre-owned comes with a warranty; under consideration does not, which is why it takes longer to consider them.

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:17:07 PM

BlueSteel4slv

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Absolutely, MasterDave. May I also include the terms "holding my leash", "training collar", "under the protection of".

ALL of which are just more crap to claim possession of someone so no one else can do anything with them.

In the realtime playparties any height, weight proportioned submissive woman walking in the place was jumped on like a shark feeding frenzy and they all were trying in some way to slap some form of possession on them so no one else could touch or talk to. It is pathetic and the learning stops when that happens. She is only limited to ONE person...

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 8:01:49 PM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueSteel4slv

Absolutely, MasterDave. May I also include the terms "holding my leash", "training collar", "under the protection of".

ALL of which are just more crap to claim possession of someone so no one else can do anything with them.

In the realtime playparties any height, weight proportioned submissive woman walking in the place was jumped on like a shark feeding frenzy and they all were trying in some way to slap some form of possession on them so no one else could touch or talk to. It is pathetic and the learning stops when that happens. She is only limited to ONE person...

The other pathetic thing that happens is also exactly what you've described - the moment in time when a single submissive woman decides to attend a party on her own and can't walk in the front door without feeling like there's a meat hook somewhere meant for her (in a not very appealing way).

I once went to a munch when I was new and NOT attached to anyone. I wasn't really ready for a relationship or even a moment of play. I'd tried that a while earlier and been badly hurt (not the emotional kind of hurt but the physical kind). Add that to the process of me going through divorce and at the time, I was simply content to be there and get to know a people as people. I hadnt wanted, nor was I looking for anything more.

So, I was absolutely mortified - not to mention scared stiff - when I was approached by a dominant on the prowl at one of the first few munches I attended with the oh-so-sweet words of "Hi, my name is Sir_______. I'm planning on attending the ________ event this coming weekend and am looking for a submissive to go with me. I have a jacuzzi in my room and so thought that we could attend together, get the couple's rate and well, I do have the room, so we could stay there together, fuck a little, I could beat your ass and we could have a good weekend together."

Simply put, I was terrified of that man from that point forward (yea, I had issues, but so did he). So, when someone came along that I'd actually gotten to know and he offered me a training collar, I jumped at the chance. It implied nothing more than for the time he and I agreed on I would follow his directions. There was no implication of sex or sexual contact beyond whatever happened during sessions. That training collar helped me to develop a deep friendship with both him and his slave. It gave me a chance to get to know myself and this lifestyle a bit better and right or wrong, it helped me feel safer. To this day, I'm still friends with her. He and I are still acquainted and on reasonably friendly terms as well.

So, while a training collar took me out of circulation, so to speak, for me, it was time well spent. And instead of being "under consideration," I knew exactly what my status with him was - and wasn't. Along the way, I developed friendships, got to know others and was able to delve into my beliefs regarding this life. And when that relationship ended, it ended because it was time for it to end - not because I'd failed at something.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 10/28/2007 8:04:11 PM >

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 9:53:08 PM

slavegirljoy

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i know that this was a response to someone else but, since i, used the term "Under Consideration", during the initial phase of getting to know my Master, i wanted to respond with my own thoughts on this.

So, here it is. These are all fine statements to make but, they didn't apply to Master David and i during the early stage of finding out whether He wanted to offer me His Ownership and whether i wanted to accept it.

1. We're seeing each other. -- Not during that initial phase of getting to know each other through correspondence, chats and phone calls.

2. We're in a relationship. -- Not during that stage of getting to know each other.

3. We're in an exclusive relationship. -- Ditto.

4. I submit to him. -- Not then. i didn't submit to Him until i accepted His collar.

5. He dominates me. -- Not until He took Ownership of me.

6. We share a power exchange dynamic. -- Ditto. There was no power exchange until i accepted His collar. There was only discussions about the possibility of entering into a power exchange relationship with each other, what that would mean and, just getting to know each other.

Placing "Under Consideration" on top of my CM profile served it's purpose for me and i am now 2 years into a very sound and satisfying M/s relationship with a very fine Man. i wouldn't change a thing about how it came to be.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

How should we have expressed that? :)

We're seeing each other.
We're in a relationship.
We're in an exclusive relationship.
I submit to him.
He dominates me.
We share a power exchange dynamic.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 10:54:53 PM

slavegirljoy

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Such eloquence and honesty in one nice, neat little paragraph. Simply beautiful, Celeste. And, this just happens to be the same way that i view "under consideration", as well. As for some of the comments i have read, that state Doms put their claims on subs and lock others out by making the sub use the term "under consideration", well maybe some do that but, as for me, no one made me do anything until i was Owned. It was my choice to modify my CM profile by adding the statement, "i am now under serious consideration of becoming the property of Master David and no longer interested in speaking with others." i put this statement at the top of my CM profile, as a matter of "fairness" to other men, who might have been looking for a slave and stopped to look at my profile. This was my attempt at "truth in advertising", so that anyone looking at my profile would know, right from the start, that they might be wasting their time and keystrokes by writing to me. Certainly, they still had that option and, if i had the time and inclination, i might have chosen to write back to some of them and let them know that, just as my profile stated, i was not interested in corresponding with anyone other than Master David, at that time. What's so wrong with that? It amazes me how those two words can cause such ire in some people. You would think that someone had just called their mother some nasty name, the way they get so offended and up-in-arms at the very mention of "under consideration." There are things that i don't have any use for but, it doesn't bother me that others do. slave joyOwned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Nothing says it quite like 'under consideration'. I read that as .. We are giving each other the time it takes to assess our compatibility, explore our mutual desires, express ourselves as we are to see if the other person wants to move on down the road by our side and until such time as that avenue is explored, I'd prefer not to engage in spreading myself to thin by going down other paths with other people. A whole bunch of ideas and concepts that can be fairly and succinctly summed up with two little words - under consideration.

Celeste

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/29/2007 12:59:33 AM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

i know that this was a response to someone else but, since i, used the term "Under Consideration", during the initial phase of getting to know my Master, i wanted to respond with my own thoughts on this.

So, here it is. These are all fine statements to make but, they didn't apply to Master David and i during the early stage of finding out whether He wanted to offer me His Ownership and whether i wanted to accept it.

1. We're seeing each other. -- Not during that initial phase of getting to know each other through correspondence, chats and phone calls.

2. We're in a relationship. -- Not during that stage of getting to know each other.

3. We're in an exclusive relationship. -- Ditto.

4. I submit to him. -- Not then. i didn't submit to Him until i accepted His collar.

5. He dominates me. -- Not until He took Ownership of me.

6. We share a power exchange dynamic. -- Ditto. There was no power exchange until i accepted His collar. There was only discussions about the possibility of entering into a power exchange relationship with each other, what that would mean and, just getting to know each other.

Placing "Under Consideration" on top of my CM profile served it's purpose for me and i am now 2 years into a very sound and satisfying M/s relationship with a very fine Man. i wouldn't change a thing about how it came to be.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

How should we have expressed that? :)

We're seeing each other.
We're in a relationship.
We're in an exclusive relationship.
I submit to him.
He dominates me.
We share a power exchange dynamic.

I'm not sure why it would even cross your mind that you should do something differently (as if you can even go back in time to do that anyway) just because someone else says it doesn't work for them.

But your explanation does say a lot regarding the whole notion of being "under consideration" . I suppose if we'd done the whole internet exploration thing, things might have been different, but we didn't. I've yet to spend even five minutes online with my Master even though we're now into our 6th year together, so there was no getting to know each other prior to meeting, going out, spending time together, etc And even though I was online during that whole process, and talking to people, etc, I never felt the need to inform anyone of things that were going on that they weren't a part of.

Of course, I'm also one of those odd women you hear about every now and then who can't boast of being inundated with e-mails from all sorts of people, so "no thank you" was never that big a deal.

However, your explanation does kind of prove out what others have said about "under consideration" being an invention of the internet (minus the negative connotations that accompanied their explanations.) Ultimately, if it worked/works for you, then that's a wonderful thing.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 10/29/2007 1:03:14 AM >

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RE: Under Consideration - 10/29/2007 1:55:59 PM

slavegirljoy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra
I'm not sure why it would even cross your mind that you should do something differently (as if you can even go back in time to do that anyway) just because someone else says it doesn't work for them.
juliet

It wouldn't cross my mind to do something differently. It was just my way of saying that i have no regrets on how i chose to use the term "under consideration" on my CM profile, (the only place i have ever used it or had any purpose for using it), and, it was to say that i would do it all the same way again.

It certainly does change things, if you are getting to know someone in person, as opposed to doing so via the Internet. If it hadn't been for the Internet, i would never have met my Master but, taking that path to reach this point did require some different and 'special' ways of doing things. Like you said, as long as it works and, for me it worked.

Thank you for your comments on my post, as well as for sharing your very interesting post about your experience with the 'trainer' and his slave. It's good to hear that you had a positive experience, especially after having just had a bad one. i had very positive experience with a 'trainer' and his slave, also, even though i never wore a training collar. Glad to hear that everything turned out well for you.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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RE: Under Consideration - 12/10/2007 5:08:35 PM

kinkypuppy2

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yes it is but it can also be used as a "excuse" to get more then they are wanting to deal with.

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RE: Under Consideration - 12/10/2007 6:11:41 PM

CelticPrince

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shellz,

It breaks down like this. Ea "D": has his own method of entering into a relationship and some of us look with disfavor on some approaches ........ such as "under consideration"

CP

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RE: Under Consideration - 12/13/2007 6:44:24 PM

BikerDomRealTime

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Tigrita,

I did some searching/reading on the subject of Consideration Collar, Training Collar, Being Under Consideration, or whatever terminology someone wants to use. From my understanding the submnissive/slave is not disempowered because with this type of "Collar" the submissive/slave is capable of removing it any time and returning it to the rightful owner. I interpret it as meaning that the submissive/slave and the Dom/Master are making some form of commitment to each other to see how the they would work in D/s or M/s relationship, but still gives the submissive an out if they are not a good fit. I much prefer that the submissive/slave that I am seeing simply states oh her profile that she is seeing me and will see what happens. It is no less a thing than I would do on my own profile.

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RE: Under Consideration - 12/13/2007 7:31:06 PM

OldBastardly1

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I never have and never will do a consideration collar. IMHO, it reeks of junior high..."we are going steady", or a "promise ring", my "fiance of 10 years".

Why is it needed to name it? OBVIOUSLY, you are going out, seeing each other, learning about each other. I would not even consider a consideration until I knew enough about her to know if I might someday want to collar her. Is it really required for her to wear your class ring? It makes me think "I've got dibs on this one and don't want anybody with any better game to shoot me out of the saddle."

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"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

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RE: Under Consideration - 12/14/2007 2:01:54 AM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I never have and never will do a consideration collar. IMHO, it reeks of junior high..."we are going steady", or a "promise ring", my "fiance of 10 years".

Quite a few years ago my daughter got a promise ring. So stupid me asked what's a promise ring. She replied a promise for more jewlery. You go girl

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RE: Under Consideration - 12/14/2007 4:16:43 AM

adoracat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I never have and never will do a consideration collar. IMHO, it reeks of junior high..."we are going steady", or a "promise ring", my "fiance of 10 years".

Why is it needed to name it? OBVIOUSLY, you are going out, seeing each other, learning about each other. I would not even consider a consideration until I knew enough about her to know if I might someday want to collar her. Is it really required for her to wear your class ring? It makes me think "I've got dibs on this one and don't want anybody with any better game to shoot me out of the saddle."

i didnt get a consideration collar. i didnt think i needed one. i *did* put "under consideration" on my profile on the other side so that it would be apparent to others that i was talking seriously to someone and that i was not actively looking at the time. to my mind, it made sense so that i could keep someone from wasting their time trying to get me to enter into an agreement with them.

not that that sort of thing stopped till i put up the picture of Daddy and me together, but there you go.

kitten

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