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RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:56:15 AM

KatyLied

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quote:

it is this capacity to evaluate the viability of a longer-term relationship somewhat rationally (on both sides).

I don't think that people in the lifestyle are any better at making choices than the general public. Actually I think it's worse because many have wacky ideas such as "under consideration" that makes them think they are somehow special.

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Post #: 21

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:56:36 AM

shellzbythesea

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I love that some subs are "under consideration" because it allows me to spot the wack jobs.

May i ask what You mean by this...just for clarification?

Thx.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 22

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 8:03:35 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

May i ask what You mean by this...just for clarification?

Not to speak for Michael, but he may mean that if you check back to their profile in a week or two they've had a breakup and they are under consideration with a different dom. It happens all of the time. There's a lot of consideration given and taken away. That's why some of us think it's silly.

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Post #: 23

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 8:08:32 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

May i ask what You mean by this...just for clarification?

Not to speak for Michael, but he may mean that if you check back to their profile in a week or two they've had a breakup and they are under consideration with a different dom. It happens all of the time. There's a lot of consideration given and taken away. That's why some of us think it's silly.

Uh huh,weal and twue forever and ever dom.......number 47

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Post #: 24

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 8:32:50 AM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I love that some subs are "under consideration" because it allows me to spot the wack jobs.

May i ask what You mean by this...just for clarification?

Thx.

I don't know why you would even begin to value or question the opinion of such a wannabe, loser.....So I'll give it a go....This whole bdsm thang is rampant with such incredible bullshit that it can make your head spin.....What in the fuck does "under consideration" even mean?....Why don't subs use the terminology when meeting a Dom? .....

I went out with "Dom so-and-so" and now he is under consideration as to be a potential partner unless I find him to be not up to my standards........It is always alluded to out here that subs have little or no choice or are incapable of reaching a decision without some sort of Domly assistance...My personal view, I absolutely loathe the terminology.....Munches, Collars, Collars of Protection, Under Consideraton......It is all a bunch of fucking crap utilized by weak minded people who have lost the ability to communicate effectively.

When I am at a restaurant I will often ask if there is a Chef's Special?.....The waitress responds, "Our special tonight is a Shogun hanger steak served with wasabi mashed potatoes and ginger infused beans with a choice of a Thai salad or tempura sweet potato fries.".....I gravely peruse the menu and then respond, "Tell the chef that I have placed the special "under consideration" and it is not to be served to anyone else until I have reached my final decision....."Oh, and I couldn't help but notice that you are a rather striking woman and I have now chosen you to fellate me whilst I finish my beverage....Chop, chop!

< Message edited by domiguy -- 10/22/2007 8:36:43 AM >

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Post #: 25

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 8:36:56 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

When I am at a restaurant I will often ask if there is a Chef's Special?.....The waitress responds, "Our special tonight is a Shogun hanger steak served with wasabi mashed potatoes and ginger infused beans with a choice of a thai salad or tempura sweet potato fries.".....I gravely peruse the menu and then respond, "Tell the chef that I have placed the special "under consideration" and it is not to be served to anyone else until I have reached my final decision....."Oh, and I couldn't help but notice that you are a rather striking woman and I have now chose to have you fellate me whilst I finish my beverage."

Eh ... I was only pretending to be a waitress that night. (Thanks for the tip - I love digging pennies out of wasabi mashed potatoes.)

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 26

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 8:56:26 AM

domiguy

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The steak was tough....And your overall felationistic skills were lacking, aside from not enough friction, you gagged on the DomiDong and puked a bit on my shoes....

I was being "kind" by leaving you wasabi potato covered pennies...For a moment I had contemplated putting you on my list of people "Under Consideration of Termination."

No need to thank me....I am but a simple man. A simple man who loves Thai food and a cock loving, Thaid-up woman.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 10/22/2007 9:08:15 AM >

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Post #: 27

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 9:14:22 AM

batshalom

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I can't apologize for the steak because I didn't cook it, but yeah, sorry about the lack of felationistic skills. Someone told me to pretend it was an ear of corn. Guess that was the wrong advice. I hope the prong holes have healed.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 28

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 10:45:00 AM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

"Under consideration"...

i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally?

i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along.

Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?

I think it's pissing on the tree (see my earlier thread about Protection in General). IF I am interested in a potential sub/slave we may be negotiating our relationship but I would never have her post under consideration.

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Post #: 29

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 11:59:13 AM

WhipLash803

Posts: 16
Joined: 9/29/2007
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Not every sub is immediately available for a "normal" full time relationship, for that matter neither are every Dom. Particularly with online dating, there is an issue of distance, that creates an unnatural gap between first attraction or interest and the decision to actually commit to a relationship. There are many other hurdles that stand between a Dom and sub- Divorce, children, relocation, illness, work, travel, family. The list is very long but both Dom and sub wants to reassure the other and in large part themselves that there IS a substantial connection between them and they each wish to work on building a foundation for what they hope will become a "regular, fulltime" D/s relationship. The idea of "consideration" is the symbol of that. Bearing in mind that often there is a lot of D/s "power exchange" type of fairly non-sexual interaction that happens between long distance Doms and subs in online dating...now it is unfortunately more of a joke because there are both Doms and subs that "stockpile" partners through the Internet by using "consideration". Personally, I used "consideration" back in the day when I was doing the Poly-thing. I would put a prospective new submissive under consideration to see how she fit in with the other girls. This way the girls that were already Collared to me didn't feel I was taking on another without them having some input into it and if it didn't work out, the new girl wasn't "dropped" as hard as if she was my formally Collared sub. Of course the Poly days are done...man it was a lot of headache...fun but too much drama. There are always going to be Doms that try and give advice to subs, much of that advice is designed to "cut a stray out of the herd"...so sometimes a Dom trying to put you "under consideration" is doing that...other times it's the Dom doing the "warning" that is trying to get you dependent on his advice as the first steps in cutting you from the herd. Finally, there are plenty of relationships that don't work...where the sub (and more than a few little "bitch" dom lurkers) goes off and tells anyone that will listen...how a particular Dom is a player because he "considered" her...and now she's pissed because in the end she was rejected. In the grand scheme of D/s...consideration is a very small part...the fact your asking questions about it says to me, your covering a lot of D/s territory which is a very good thing. Information is Power...but just remember consideration is just a small swatch in the "Fabric of D/s".

Whiplash

(in reply to shellzbythesea)

Post #: 30

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 12:13:14 PM

MistressDiane

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Joined: 2/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

I can't apologize for the steak because I didn't cook it, but yeah, sorry about the lack of felationistic skills. Someone told me to pretend it was an ear of corn. Guess that was the wrong advice. I hope the prong holes have healed.

That's funny!

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Post #: 31

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 2:08:45 PM

Tigrita

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Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

This phrase doesn't sit well with me. It smacks of disempowerment of submissives in a bad way. Of course power exchange is the goal, but the submissive should be considering whether the dominant is right for them as well as vice versa. This terminology seems to apply only to submissives 'under consideration', as if they are cuts of meat being considered for dinner. The power exchange should be fulfilling and empowering (in different ways) for both, and consideration should flow both ways in my opinion, just my 2 cents. I wouldn't 'consider' someone who used that term, unless he put on his profile too that he is 'under consideration'.

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Post #: 32

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 6:26:45 PM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
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domiguy just a suggestion, you can use a spritz of alcohol on the prong holes..it might sting a bit but hey whats a lil pain ?

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Post #: 33

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:15:24 PM

Vanatru

Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

This phrase doesn't sit well with me. It smacks of disempowerment of submissives in a bad way. ...

I guess I gotta ask, what the heck is "disempowerment of submissives" supposed to mean?

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 34

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 7:21:12 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

If I have gone to the lengths of talking about a slave being put under consideration, I first find out if that is what the slave wants. You can't put a sub under consideration if he/she doesn't WANT to be under consideration.

If the slave agree's to be put under consideration, how does that "disempower" them?

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Post #: 35

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 8:24:14 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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Shells,

Its nice to know that so many here know my sarcasm so well! As several have said, I am dismissive of the concept and generally of those who use it. It is not some concept rooted in the dark mysterious past (and it isn't actually dark, nor mysterious) of BDSM, it is a recent invention of chatrooms who are people for whom fanatasy is as close to reality as it gets.

When you were dating vanilla, did you ever tell someone that they were under consideration? You might BE considering them but it was just part of dating them. In a chat room you need words instead of deeds. So instead of calling for a date every weekend to show interest like you would in the real world, you put someone "under consideration".

I live in the real world and have no time for such nonsense. Women are ALWAYS under consideration. One woman has ever worn my collar and I have been a bigger slut than most on this board. I may collar another once more in my lifetime if we can both pull it off.

(in reply to shellzbythesea)

Post #: 36

RE: Under Consideration - 10/22/2007 9:21:22 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

When you were dating vanilla, did you ever tell someone that they were under consideration? You might BE considering them but it was just part of dating them. In a chat room you need words instead of deeds. So instead of calling for a date every weekend to show interest like you would in the real world, you put someone "under consideration".

In the vanilla world, if a guy would ask me out, while i was getting aquainted with another man i was interested in and who was showing an interest in me, i wouldn't say, "i'm under consideration", because that is something they wouldn't understand. i would tell him the same thing but, in a way that he would understand by saying, "i'm interested in someone else." Just like, if i was in a relationship with a guy and another man asked me out, i wouldn't say, "i'm already collared", because that wouldn't make any sense to him. i would say, "i'm seeing someone else." BDSM has its own language.

There are a lot of ways of saying the same thing and, some ways work better for some people, than for others. Just because one way of saying something doesn't suit your taste or style, doesn't mean that someone else can't find it useful.

It worked for me and my Master. i have always been someone who likes to focus my attention, time and, energy on just One Man, at a time. Putting the words, "Under Serious Consideration by Master David and no longer interested in communicating with other men", on top of my CM profile, when i was focusing my energies on Master David, while Wwe were getting to know each other, online and, before actually deciding to become Master and slave, made it clear to everyone else who was looking at my profile that i was not interested in meeting or talking with others. They could still write to me but, it wasn't likely to get a response from me.

There are lots of different options available to people in BDSM, as well as in other areas of life. It's nice to have choices and to decide which ones are right for you and which ones aren't.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 37

RE: Under Consideration - 10/26/2007 11:09:12 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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I agree that under consideration should mean something. When I first started here I heard from a lot of women that they were getting a lot of trash mail. I found out why some of them try to use under consideration or under so and so's protection. I say try because neither one seems to mean shit to a lot of idiots on here. A friend lent me her pic and I put up a new profile and had in big letters Under Consideration. I recieved a ton of letters from both male and female Dom/Dommes. Every single one of them said the same thing. Drop the guy and come to me. I am better for you. A lot of the Dommes were downright belligerent about it. The made up person was offered clothes, cars, jewerly and even a boat. I even carried out conversations with some of them before I outed myself to them. I was chatting with some of these people in the chatroom at the time under my real name. I got to thinking what a fucked up place this is. I learned that most on here are not who they claimed to be. A lot of the time titles and sexual orintations are not true.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 38

RE: Under Consideration - 10/26/2007 3:51:28 PM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I consider the words "under consideration" to mean the same thing as "seeing each other". I think that people use it because they like the way it sounds. I would not use it because it does nothing for me. I'd say "we're dating" or "we're exclusive". What are you considering? If you like them? If they like you? If you want to pursue a relationship? None of that requires special terminology.

While I agree the phrase may be approximated by statements such as "we're dating," I think the phrase has some contextual merit. Given the power dynamics of D/s and M/s relationships, saying one is "under consideration" also indicates the question of a prospective submissive's capacity to serve a particular dominant is being evaluated.

I believe two people can like, even love each other, and be completely ill-matched as a D/s or M/s couple. In my experience, if the lifestyle has any intrinsic advantage to the vanilla world, it is this capacity to evaluate the viability of a longer-term relationship somewhat rationally (on both sides).

Agreed

I met someone online a while ago, we are both searching for LDRs but are living in 2 different countries, we now at the stage to see if a relationship together is feasible so it does mean taking some serious time to talk and get to know each other and being I am not the one willing to relocate it means he would have to, for him it is possible but he has to feel sure as well that we will be compatible and fair bit of money and time is going to be invested in finding out and so far we have not met, it is possible something comes up in 2 weeks that may prove a compatibility issue so really too soon to delete profiles or to suggest a more serious relationship than actually is at this point, using the term under consideration is a way of saying a serious interest we would like to explore without recieving a lot of distraction from others contacting us . To me the term under consideration is just that , he is just as much under consideration/evaluation to me as I am to him. I have made mention in my profile, so I am not having 10 doms a day wasting their time writing to me nor am I having to respond back to all 10 telling them that I have someone I am interested in and would like to follow thru on first to see if we are compatible. Also by putting in my profile I am indicating to him that I am taking his interest in me seriously.

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Post #: 39

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 1:36:36 AM

BlackWolfSwitch

Posts: 40
Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

"Under consideration"...

i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally?

i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along.

Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?

Putting someone 'under consideration', as I'm sure many have stated so far.. is to find interest in a person and examine this further. In all levels of it, it is the point between whatever you were before with the person (IE - Stranger, Friend, etc.), and 'considering' them for a higher level of relationship or placement (IE - Friend, Lover, etc.). In this instance though, it would be the act of putting one's efforts and attentions into the 'considered', and seeing if that one is a fit.

I may have strayed off a bit, but that's my interpertation. (sp)
I myself have put submissives 'under consideration' if they've caught my interest, but it's a loose term, used more as a flag. When a submissive or slave states that they're 'under consideration', this is an obvious flag that the person is being watched, tested, etc. by someone, and it putting their attention into it, instead of leaving themselves 'on the market'... for lack of better terms. It's so that the sub/slave can show other Dom/mes that they're out of bounds? ~lol~ I've used it as both a submissive, and as a Dominant. (As I'm a switch)

Just this Wolf's two cents there. ~smiles~

< Message edited by BlackWolfSwitch -- 10/27/2007 1:38:34 AM >

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Post #: 40

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