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RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 2:05:44 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Well first of all, I've already established that I'm a whack job.

I was under consideration. For what? For ownership. We did not date. We never dated. I met him and I served him and 3 1/2 years later I love him, adore him, serve him all of me, and am owned by him. I asked him to train me as his slave. While in such training he considered whether he wished to own me or not. Did I have the drive to submit? The potential devotion? The depth he was looking for in a girl? I did not view him as "under consideration" because I already knew I wanted to submit to him.

I didn't think I was more or less special by this term, or by any other term. It was merely a choice of language we opted to use (we weren't in chat rooms either, btw), which apparently rubs people wrong.

Then again, I don't subscribe to that "Don't make someone your priority who makes you their option" phrase either, so I guess I'm just weird like that.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 10/27/2007 2:07:58 AM >

(in reply to BlackWolfSwitch)

Post #: 41

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 5:57:28 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

We never used that phrase. I didn't presume he was seeing only me. He didn't presume I was seeing only him. Eventually, it simply wound up being that way. I also didn't presume he wanted to collar me (or was even considering it) until the evening he handed me my collar. I cared for him enough by that time that I was hoping it would happen, but it wasn't mandatory to my continued relationship with him.

We just figured that if we were vested enough we'd be where we are now.

I don't think we ever considered whether either of us was "under consideration" along the way.

juliet

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 42

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 8:42:19 AM

psykocloud

Posts: 50
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

Sir used the term with me. To him it meant that he was focusing all of his attention on me. We were dating, trying to see if we were capatable for a long term poly relationship. As it turns out, we are compatible and I am writing my contract of ownership now and I will be collared as well by Him..

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Post #: 43

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 6:08:36 PM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

"Under consideration"...

i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally?

i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along.

Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?

I always thought it was the subs who consider which Dom/Master she chose to be with?

Of those subs who have no problem with being put "under consideration" don't quite get the meaning of "another 7-day fool."

_____________________________

Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

(in reply to shellzbythesea)

Post #: 44

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 6:32:32 PM

MrSpectacular

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I think it is a ridiculous term. Why cannot a relationship be expressed for what it is.

_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to ehlovindom)

Post #: 45

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 11:10:57 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular

I think it is a ridiculous term. Why cannot a relationship be expressed for what it is.

OK. 3 1/2 years ago he was considering whether or not he wanted to own me and evaluating me on that basis. How should we have expressed that? :)

(in reply to MrSpectacular)

Post #: 46

RE: Under Consideration - 10/27/2007 11:49:06 PM

MisterP61

Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shellzbythesea

"Under consideration"...

i would like to know how many Doms/Masters use this and what exactly it means to each of You, personally?

i've been told by some Doms this is just a "ploy" of sorts that a player Dom uses when he's messing around with one sub's head while waiting for another to come along.

Is there anyone out there who feels this is a legitimate step before emarking on the Dom/sub journey?

I can say that as the Male half of a Dominant Couple..... under consideration does get used and has very significant reasons.

1. We both have automatic veto power.... if One says NO.... then it is NO

2. Until We can decide that one is right for Our poly family, We must find out what it is they are looking for. Are they full service??? Are they only a service submissive, IE, cleaning the house, doing Our chores...No sex???? Are they a slave who wants to be fully owned 24/7??? there are other questions but I am sure you get the gist of it.

3. Number 3 is perhaps the most important of all..... are they made for a long term D/s relationship..... there is absolutely no way to know until everyO/one gets to know each other, unless Y/you have known them for years, htere is the period that exists during all relationships that is paramount to the success of said relationship.

Now I am not saying that this is what it means to all Dominants...but to Me it means this and more.

MP

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to shellzbythesea)

Post #: 47

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 12:01:50 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

Very well said and, i couldn't agree more. i know that i am sort of a 'whack job', too, although i have learned to adapt my whackiness to it's best advantage so that i can live a happy and fulfilling life.

Like you, i never dated my Master. He and i met for the purpose of establishing a Master/slave relationship and, that's what Wwe have had for close to 2 years. i met Him, in hopes of becoming His slave. He offered me His collar and His ownership, after about 6 weeks of consideration. i have been His devoted slave, since then and, have also grown very fond of Him over the past 2 years and, that fondness has now grown into loving Him. And, i am allowed to say that the feelings are mutual.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

~ Fast Reply ~

Well first of all, I've already established that I'm a whack job.

I was under consideration. For what? For ownership. We did not date. We never dated. I met him and I served him and 3 1/2 years later I love him, adore him, serve him all of me, and am owned by him. I asked him to train me as his slave. While in such training he considered whether he wished to own me or not. Did I have the drive to submit? The potential devotion? The depth he was looking for in a girl? I did not view him as "under consideration" because I already knew I wanted to submit to him.

I didn't think I was more or less special by this term, or by any other term. It was merely a choice of language we opted to use (we weren't in chat rooms either, btw), which apparently rubs people wrong.

Then again, I don't subscribe to that "Don't make someone your priority who makes you their option" phrase either, so I guess I'm just weird like that.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 48

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 3:59:24 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular

I think it is a ridiculous term. Why cannot a relationship be expressed for what it is.

OK. 3 1/2 years ago he was considering whether or not he wanted to own me and evaluating me on that basis. How should we have expressed that? :)

How should you have expressed that to whom?

"I'm serving him."
"She's serving me."

Beyond that, what else does everyone else need to know?

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 10/28/2007 4:17:16 AM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 49

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 4:08:17 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

We never used that phrase. I didn't presume he was seeing only me. He didn't presume I was seeing only him. Eventually, it simply wound up being that way. I also didn't presume he wanted to collar me (or was even considering it) until the evening he handed me my collar. I cared for him enough by that time that I was hoping it would happen, but it wasn't mandatory to my continued relationship with him.

We just figured that if we were vested enough we'd be where we are now.

I don't think we ever considered whether either of us was "under consideration" along the way.

juliet

Exactly the same as it was for us. We never used the phrase and I doubt now that he would even think of it. We met with the idea that we were going to play, got on and just saw more and more of each other. The more we saw each other the more we wanted to see each other until the point that we decided that we wanted to be together full time. He gave me a ring, rather than a collar, 6 months after meeting.

I always think of the "under consideration" phrase an internet thing rather than a real life phrase and a little quaint.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 50

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 4:57:55 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Owned...I don't think you're a whack job...just a bit more extreme than most people on here. But, hey, if it works for you, then it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 51

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 5:10:01 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

How should we have expressed that? :)

We're seeing each other.
We're in a relationship.
We're in an exclusive relationship.
I submit to him.
He dominates me.
We share a power exchange dynamic.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 52

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 5:27:18 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Judging from the responses it is clear that some have chose to use the terminology of "under consideration".....Then they go on to describe what the terminology actually means to them ....Though many responses are similar....There seems to be differences when it comes to the definition. That is why it is so nice to possess a vocabulary and an ability to articulate yourself that might actually allow for you to explain in exact terms what you are seeking what you expect from one another and where your relationship stands at any given moment.

It is highly apparent from so many threads that there is a world of confusion out here because people have no fucking clue where they stand, have not the ability to convey what they are feeling or what it is that they seek.....

Look forward to hearing from you subs that are currently "under consideration" in the near future when you realize that your understanding of this terminology in no way, shape or form paralleled that of your potential partner.

Fuckers.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 10/28/2007 5:28:19 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 53

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:20:26 AM

LonDom61

Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

This phrase doesn't sit well with me. It smacks of disempowerment of submissives in a bad way. Of course power exchange is the goal, but the submissive should be considering whether the dominant is right for them as well as vice versa. This terminology seems to apply only to submissives 'under consideration', as if they are cuts of meat being considered for dinner. The power exchange should be fulfilling and empowering (in different ways) for both, and consideration should flow both ways in my opinion, just my 2 cents. I wouldn't 'consider' someone who used that term, unless he put on his profile too that he is 'under consideration'.

Very much how I feel, Tigrita. When I read in a sub's profile that she's "under consideration" I'm very tempted to write to her to say "Whoa, girl. It goes both ways. He's under your consideration, too."

After all, based on supply & demand, a Dom (especially one who'd use such a term...and perhaps instruct her to post it in her profile) is rather likely to at least proceed to the next level with a receptive sub...but He may not be right for her. she should be vetting Him with head, heart & gut to see if He fits what she wants and needs, too.

And excellent point about how, if she posts it, he ought to do so also. (Yeah, that'd go over great with such a one. If she suggested it--and she'd have to cuz he wouldn't volunteer to do so--he'd just tell her she's not acting like a twoo, sorry true, submissive.)

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 54

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:28:29 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Fast Reply to no one in particular...

When I see "under consideration" I interpret that to mean "all the rights of ownership without any of the responsibilities". And I admittedly develop some opinions (not conclusions, just opinions) about the people involved.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to LonDom61)

Post #: 55

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:42:38 AM

LonDom61

Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

I've just read the rest (since Tigrita's post). Occurred to me that, by posting that, a sub's going to ensure that none of the decent Doms will get in touch. Either from consideration cuz she's "going out" or "going steady" or whatever we've decided that means...or that, like at least one guy here has mentioned (sorry, too lazy to go back & check who), she's wacky & not worth pursuing.

So all she'd get would be the HNG's...who don't give a fraction of a crap what's in the profile. They just keep throwing their shit against the wall and see if any of it sticks.

Similarly futile: saying in your profile (often numerous times, phrased slightly differently) "if you're a player, a poser, a wannabe, etc., please don't bother writing me". The jerks often don't think they're jerks. Or whatever. But they're still gonna shoot their crap into her inbox.

(in reply to LonDom61)

Post #: 56

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:46:36 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Judging from the responses it is clear that some have chose to use the terminology of "under consideration".....Then they go on to describe what the terminology actually means to them ....Though many responses are similar....There seems to be differences when it comes to the definition. That is why it is so nice to possess a vocabulary and an ability to articulate yourself that might actually allow for you to explain in exact terms what you are seeking what you expect from one another and where your relationship stands at any given moment.

It is highly apparent from so many threads that there is a world of confusion out here because people have no fucking clue where they stand, have not the ability to convey what they are feeling or what it is that they seek.....

Look forward to hearing from you subs that are currently "under consideration" in the near future when you realize that your understanding of this terminology in no way, shape or form paralleled that of your potential partner.

Fuckers.

domi...you sick? everything ok? did you just post a serious response on CM?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 57

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 7:58:36 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LonDom61

But they're still gonna shoot their crap into her inbox.

Ok, that sounds kinky. Any photos of videos? How about shooting their crap into her outbox?

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to LonDom61)

Post #: 58

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 9:31:56 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

fast reply

"under consideration" to me means "i'm testing you to see if i can really take you sersiously as well as be committed to you" (that's what one dom from here told me - i dumped him immediately).

for Daddy and my fiance, there was no middle ground. either they were committed to building a friendship/relationship with me or not. they never used "under consideration" when we first met.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 59

RE: Under Consideration - 10/28/2007 10:42:06 AM

LonDom61

Posts: 196
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: LonDom61

But they're still gonna shoot their crap into her inbox.

Ok, that sounds kinky. Any photos of videos? How about shooting their crap into her outbox?

Yeah, hadn't intended that entendre. Caught it after typing. Left it in.

I admit, I have something of a voyeuristic thing about seeing that stuff. Maybe self-validation? ("Look what an asshat /he/ is...& I'm not"). Women sometimes quote 'em in their journals. Not gonna set up a fake profile, as some guys do, to mainline it myself...but curious.

The outbox... Might that be the, uh, back door?

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 60

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