quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

]

But I dont want it to fail...ever. I believe he feels the same way and I want to marry him because he is good for me, brings out the best in me and I think he would make a good father in part because he has great parents himself (not that that is a neccesity).

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
Ugh if the OP had said she wants to be pimped out at a sex party you all would rush to defend her lifestyle choices.  But god forbid she wants a permanent commitment from her partner.  I guess that's just not kosher in 'alternative' lifestyles.

quote:

Commit to me enough to say that it will cost you half your life's savings to leave me and then I can give 100% trust. Its not an SM thing. I feel the same way with Vanilla relatinships. I feel paranoid when leaving is easy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


Did you actually read the post or her other about marriage?  The reason she wants to be married is to take 50% of his stuff if and when the marriage fails.  She also states that it doesn't matter how bad the relationship is as long as they get married...come on xoxi...you can't possibly stand behind that.

I did read it.  I just came away with a different impression.  I saw it more as a general fear of abandonment, and that she is hesitant to lay her reputation and her future on the line until she feels that he is also making a significant investment.
<snip>

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692


Joining the train wreck ONE more time.....I never said that it was unreasonable to want to be married, or not understandable, I am after all married myself.  I did not however, say I wanted to marry him so that if he left me I would get half his shit......as the OP did....I did not say that after marriage it would not matter what my public rep was because I would have his wallet to fall back on, the OP did.  I also did not say that although I cared now, I would not care after marriage because of the wallet, nor care if my children suffered publicly because their friends parents, found out, the children would just have to get over it....the OP did.  Did you read the rest of the thread, at least the ones where the OP posted?  You are free to believe what you want, as am I.  If you agree with the poster, more power to you.
I do not for one minute, BASED ON EVERYTHING ELSE THE OP said, including she hoped to sit at home and have his babies. or did you miss the sit at home part in an earlier post?  Although it is admirable to want that, most cannot sit at home...but again, since this is about the money should he leave, I'm betting that's a big plus.  She said he was the one that worried about her having something to fall back on, and wanted her to get her degree.  That leads to a POSSIBLE conclusion she doesnt ever want to work again. Again, that is between them, but bring it here, and one will get honest responses.

I hope you have a better day, as I surely told no one "to piss the fuck off".  Seems someone pissed in your wheaties, I promise it wasn't me.

Now I'm through.  Before I go, would you like me to get you some fresh wheaties?

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

are you reading the post or projecting your own feelings about your own relationship onto the OP?

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


Did you actually read the post or her other about marriage?  The reason she wants to be married is to take 50% of his stuff if and when the marriage fails.  She also states that it doesn't matter how bad the relationship is as long as they get married...come on xoxi...you can't possibly stand behind that.

I did read it.  I just came away with a different impression.  I saw it more as a general fear of abandonment, and that she is hesitant to lay her reputation and her future on the line until she feels that he is also making a significant investment.  Call it 'jaded with men syndrome' - after all it's not *his* naked pics on the internet.  She's willing to invest her reputation and future career opportunities if she knows he's investing something she considers equal.  A very capitalist paradigm of relationships, but not one I inherently disagree with...namely because no matter how high the divorce rate is, I'm willing to bet the breakup rate of relationships before marriage is 1000 times higher.

I also didn't read "no matter how bad the relationship is its OK if we're married" - I read it as saying "I'm willing to accept his judgement in certain areas if I'm confident he will catch me if I fall."  She was saying that specifically about the OP - the idea of photos that could potentially destroy her career, and that if she were his housewife and a partner in HIS name she would be more likely to trust his judgement, rather than knowing she is still basically facing the world alone and he can dissappear at any moment, for any reason.

I definitely think the OP has trust issues, and fear of abandonment.  Those issues are her own.  But the sheer vitriol of the posts criticizing her desire to be married makes me sick.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692


Joining the train wreck ONE more time.....I never said that it was unreasonable to want to be married, or not understandable, I am after all married myself.  I did not however, say I wanted to marry him so that if he left me I would get half his shit......as the OP did....I did not say that after marriage it would not matter what my public rep was because I would have his wallet to fall back on, the OP did.  I also did not say that although I cared now, I would not care after marriage because of the wallet, nor care if my children suffered publicly because their friends parents, found out, the children would just have to get over it....the OP did.  Did you read the rest of the thread, at least the ones where the OP posted?  You are free to believe what you want, as am I.  If you agree with the poster, more power to you.
I do not for one minute, BASED ON EVERYTHING ELSE THE OP said, including she hoped to sit at home and have his babies. or did you miss the sit at home part in an earlier post?  Although it is admirable to want that, most cannot sit at home...but again, since this is about the money should he leave, I'm betting that's a big plus.  She said he was the one that worried about her having something to fall back on, and wanted her to get her degree.  That leads to a POSSIBLE conclusion she doesnt ever want to work again. Again, that is between them, but bring it here, and one will get honest responses.

I hope you have a better day, as I surely told no one "to piss the fuck off".  Seems someone pissed in your wheaties, I promise it wasn't me.

Now I'm through.  Before I go, would you like me to get you some fresh wheaties?

Er yeah sorry about that.  Seriously I am.  I haven't had a cigarette all day.  Trying desperately to quit without turning into rabid psycho bitch. It's not working.  Wheaties sprinkled with nicorette plz [;)]

Like I said earlier, I don't quite take the 'take half his stuff' part at face value.  I read it more as insecurity with men leaving.  As in "Everyone who ever told me they would be there forever is now my ex - the words would have more meaning if backed by half his net worth."  Cuz really now, anyone could say "I'll love you forever" - even if they're just trying to get in your pants.

And oh-my-god-the-OP-wants-to-be-a-housewife!!! Like, she doesn't want to have a CAREER.  She wants to like, do HOUSE stuff to take care of her MAN.  That definitely makes her unfit for marriage.  Christ we should probably commit her to an asylum.

Whatever.  As long as she's up front with her man about her plans for life after marriage, it's her life, her decision, and in my mind a perfectly valid one.  It takes work to take care of a house. And if money isn't an issue, I see absolutely no reason why that isn't a viable option, if not the optimal one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I don't personally see anyone criticising her desire to get married, and as her prior post on the marriage subject shows, she, in fact openly criticises people that don't desire to get married.  My concern is that she lacks any base or sense of self to distinguish herself from this Dom or any man for that matter to make ANY competent decision regarding her own well-being.  Marriage ain't going to come close to fixing that, and yes these things do matter immensely to her personally as an individual regardless of her marital status.
l

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

**comes in room one last time full of sympathy for xoxi, with a triple sprinkling of nicorette on the wheaties**

Good luck, that can't be easy....I wish the best for you on the quitting!!!!![:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

xoxi expresses all my feelings with less controversy than I do, so you can read her posts to get a sense of how I feel.

If I merely wanted to marry a wallet you know it would be more logical to marry say a rich male submissive.

hmm, now there's an idea..

You know I have to admit, this board doesn't take lighthearted remarks very well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

**comes in room one last time full of sympathy for xoxi, with a triple sprinkling of nicorette on the wheaties**

Good luck, that can't be easy....I wish the best for you on the quitting!!!!![:D]

Thank you [:)]

*hugs*

I'm moving in with my man on the 19th of November.  He's given me until then to quit on my own terms - then it's cold turkey, no looking back.

*shivers*

quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

I don't personally see anyone criticising her desire to get married, and as her prior post on the marriage subject shows, she, in fact openly criticises people that don't desire to get married.  My concern is that she lacks any base or sense of self to distinguish herself from this Dom or any man for that matter to make ANY competent decision regarding her own well-being.  Marriage ain't going to come close to fixing that, and yes these things do matter immensely to her personally as an individual regardless of her marital status.
l

Lacking a sense of self I can definitely see.  However wouldn't one say that is the goal of a TPE relationship?  To commit your entire being to someone, and be an extension of him?  If that is her goal, I'm not saying it is, but *if* it is, then I can see why she would want a safety net.  That's a really scary thing to do.

I haven't read the marriage thread you reference.  Personally I don't think it's anyone's place to judge whether she's fit for marriage, besides her potential fiance who will be taking that step with her.

quote:

My concern is that she lacks any base or sense of self to distinguish herself from this Dom or any man for that matter to make ANY competent decision regarding her own well-being.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

True....Only he will be the one that will have to tolerate her on a daily basis....But, it is totally within forum justice to determine whether this chick is off of her rocker.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

True....Only he will be the one that will have to tolerate her on a daily basis....But, it is totally within forum justice to determine whether this chick is off of her rocker.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

My concern is that she lacks any base or sense of self to distinguish herself from this Dom or any man for that matter to make ANY competent decision regarding her own well-being.

In the other post it was all about me. Now I lack a base and sense of self to distinguish myself from *any* man. Except that I wont sit and cower while the Dom makes a blog that could adversely affect a future career I might have.

Say what?

This thread is over. The problem was solved with the Master took the blog down. I am not going to demand that he take the pics of his hard drive and whatnot. The pics make him VERY happy. I told him I felt at risk and that I did not like that because I am not yet secure enough in our relationship because we are not engaged or anything. He has not objected to my reasoning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

My concern is that she lacks any base or sense of self to distinguish herself from this Dom or any man for that matter to make ANY competent decision regarding her own well-being.

In the other post it was all about me. Now I lack a base and sense of self to distinguish myself from *any* man. Except that I wont sit and cower while the Dom makes a blog that could adversely affect a future career I might have.

Say what?

This thread is over. The problem was solved with the Master took the blog down. I am not going to demand that he take the pics of his hard drive and whatnot. The pics make him VERY happy. I told him I felt at risk and that I did not like that because I am not yet secure enough in our relationship because we are not engaged or anything. He has not objected to my reasoning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Did he go to drama school?

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

as of now, i am in trouble i guess. i checked the blog again and every post has been deleted and there is only this:

kitty has been disobedient. she will be appropriately punished. -MASTER

and a pic of some random girl getting caned.

i would have felt better if he just cropped my head out of the pics. The fact that he deleted everything does note bode well for me.

:)

I am not sure if this is the end of this though.