Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Alone in my way of thinking?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 [6] 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 5:48:06 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I think that there should be a clear understanding up front.  For instance, I had a 24/7 slave who encouraged me to have other subs.  He wanted no other mistress, and if I was to allow another woman to "play" with him there were certain rules.  The main one was that I must be present and could give directions at any point.  The other was that she could demand any sexual favor other than kissing on the lips.  The third, maybe obvious for safety, was that he must wear a condom.

He knew that I was the only one that I wanted sexual gratification from and that my other subs were to be toys only.  We talked it all out very carefully.  I think that the communication is the most important part.  If he would have wanted other mistresses we simply would have set some limits, but I knew that I was the only one that he could create that deep bond with.  That's what he needed, the complete belonging to one person.

Very sadly, I found out yesterday that my slave died in Iraq.  I will miss the incredibly close bond that we had.


i am terribly sorry for your loss....

kitten

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 6:50:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		To Owned- I got asked this weekend again about how my partner and I set up our relationship as poly.  I said again that we can "do whatever we want, with whoever we want, whenever we want" and was asked "But you'd want to know about it, right?"

My response was that if he met someone at the grocery store in the afternoon, I'd appreciate ap hone call letting me know he wasn't going to be home for dinner, but otherwise, didn't really care.

Which isn't fully true, I care and I'd beg for all the juicy details to get a vicarious thrill on later.  But when it comes to needing to be in the know- nope, not really at all an issue for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 6:54:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hey LA, yeah, I like to know the juicy details for thrill factor too, but I don't always get them :)   But need to know and want to know are totally seperate issues.  The funny thing is, as soon as I stopped pressing to know - as soon as it wasn't so important to me - he started sharing more...because I had let go of my desire to control the knowledge.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 6:56:39 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I do not agree with on this. I have seen this type of concept before. It is kinda like go ahead hurt me i do not care setting standards for your self is what makes things rock. In a great way. Do not get to be number one by settling for number two.
some people go it is ok just let people do bad things no no no no. If you hurt anyone mentally or physically abuse wise or cheating wise. It is wrong. none commit relationships have no foundational stance but that of quick sand slow death of the relationship. It will always turn sour some how.  

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 6:58:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm ok with you disagreeing with it for your life.

But I don't think you are suggesting I go up to my partner and tell him that how we've been living our lives together for over two years now and living together just isn't going to work because this internet dude told me he disagrees with it?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 6:59:51 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		um come back in seven years and tell me what you think of my post 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 7:07:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		LOL would you say that to my ex master and his wife who have been living such a life for decades together?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 7:13:52 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I do not agree with on this. I have seen this type of concept before. It is kinda like go ahead hurt me i do not care setting standards for your self is what makes things rock. In a great way. Do not get to be number one by settling for number two.
some people go it is ok just let people do bad things no no no no. If you hurt anyone mentally or physically abuse wise or cheating wise. It is wrong. none commit relationships have no foundational stance but that of quick sand slow death of the relationship. It will always turn sour some how.  

Here's a concept that it might be really hard for you to grasp but give it a try, willya?  Being "hurt", "settling," doing "bad" things and many other terms mean different things for different people.  I agree 110% with OwnedGirlie and LA.  That works for me.  I don't find it "hurtful" or destructive to be in a relationship like I am and that others would not choose.  The idea of my Master with other women is so hot you can't even believe.  It in no way "hurts" me.  I don't care if you can wrap your closed mind around that concept or not.  It means less than nothing to me 'cuz your opinions sure aren't going to change what goes on in my life.  But, you would save a lot of time and trouble for yourself if you could at least attempt to realize that just because you can't understand or accept something, that doesn't mean everyone else on the planet is incapable of enjoying it.......luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 10:34:20 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		well i have to wonder if it was positive why is he an ex lol  oh well as for the next post.  LIfe just will tell you what is right or wrong

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/28/2007 11:42:06 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I do not agree with on this. I have seen this type of concept before. It is kinda like go ahead hurt me i do not care setting standards for your self is what makes things rock. In a great way. Do not get to be number one by settling for number two.
some people go it is ok just let people do bad things no no no no. If you hurt anyone mentally or physically abuse wise or cheating wise. It is wrong. none commit relationships have no foundational stance but that of quick sand slow death of the relationship. It will always turn sour some how.  


You still do not get it. NOBODY is getting hurt. Who do you think is hurt in a relationship where all 3 people agree to what is happening.

I am not settling for anything and I am certainly number one as far as my Master is concerned. So who is settling?

NOBODY is cheating. There are no lies. We are in a committed relationship where both of us are happy so why should it turn sour? Certainly not because he is doing something that we both agree is acceptable in OUR relationship.

I get that you don't like it for you. That is your choice. Just because you do not approve does not make it wrong. Personally I think men look ridiculous in latex, are you going to stop wearing it because I think it is wrong?

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 1:28:21 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I am in a relationship where it was clear from the start that my Master would be allowed to play and have sex with others. I, however, am totally monogamous. The rules of him seeing others was set at the start, one off meetings, no relationship etc. To start with it was hard because it was something I had been brought up to think was wrong. What he has always said and made me understand and feel is that I would always feel totally secure in our relationship. And I do. I understand that he gets something from these other people he can't from me (not prepared to go into detail) but I feel secure and loved by him so I know I have nothing to worry about.


Is this the same guy that was unemployed when you met him and you put up all the money for him to start his own business? He's been going out and screwing other women since the beginning of your relationship and you're not allowed the same sexual freedom? What an interesting way for him to express his gratitude. Sounds like you got yourself a real winner. And you think I have problems?

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 2:19:19 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings

i do not see the need for someone to seek out another when they have someone. they are just to many STD''S  for me i am a one woman domme i am secure in myself that i do not need to test the waters somewhere else. why do people need to have several partners , is it just the sex part the need to been waned by several men or woman i just do not see it , but it is still cheating if that is the question here. to have a low seft esteem and not comfortable in one own skin is sad

mons

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 4:24:25 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		    Mons, again why all the focus on STD's?   What if it is simply play?   Not EVERYONE has intercourse after a whipping.    Protection is for many a must.   I believe that in the realm of SSC that a condom goes along with the Safe part.   

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 5:15:39 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I am in a relationship where it was clear from the start that my Master would be allowed to play and have sex with others. I, however, am totally monogamous. The rules of him seeing others was set at the start, one off meetings, no relationship etc. To start with it was hard because it was something I had been brought up to think was wrong. What he has always said and made me understand and feel is that I would always feel totally secure in our relationship. And I do. I understand that he gets something from these other people he can't from me (not prepared to go into detail) but I feel secure and loved by him so I know I have nothing to worry about.


Is this the same guy that was unemployed when you met him and you put up all the money for him to start his own business? He's been going out and screwing other women since the beginning of your relationship and you're not allowed the same sexual freedom? What an interesting way for him to express his gratitude. Sounds like you got yourself a real winner. And you think I have problems?


My God, dbg. Who are you to say this? It works for her. It was agreed to and she's fine with it. It's not my cup of tea, obviously not your cup of tea, but if you're going to be spitting such venom how about doing it in a clean catch beaker so we can sell it as a snakebite remedy.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 5:47:22 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I think that there should be a clear understanding up front.  For instance, I had a 24/7 slave who encouraged me to have other subs.  He wanted no other mistress, and if I was to allow another woman to "play" with him there were certain rules.  The main one was that I must be present and could give directions at any point.  The other was that she could demand any sexual favor other than kissing on the lips.  The third, maybe obvious for safety, was that he must wear a condom.

He knew that I was the only one that I wanted sexual gratification from and that my other subs were to be toys only.  We talked it all out very carefully.  I think that the communication is the most important part.  If he would have wanted other mistresses we simply would have set some limits, but I knew that I was the only one that he could create that deep bond with.  That's what he needed, the complete belonging to one person.

Very sadly, I found out yesterday that my slave died in Iraq.  I will miss the incredibly close bond that we had.


i am terribly sorry for your loss....

kitten


My sincerest sympathies on your loss as well.
l

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 6:14:26 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

My God, dbg. Who are you to say this? It works for her. It was agreed to and she's fine with it. It's not my cup of tea, obviously not your cup of tea, but if you're going to be spitting such venom how about doing it in a clean catch beaker so we can sell it as a snakebite remedy.


Who am I to say this? I'm the one susie constantly says has serious problems and should seek professional help because I refuse to date professional freeloading bums. She spits venom at me far worse than this anytime she gets the chance.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 10/29/2007 6:19:47 AM >

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 6:43:09 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

um come back in seven years and tell me what you think of my post 


Hmmmm I'm closing in on a decade in R's household. He has always gone out with other women, as long as there is breath in his body and when he gets older if the nurses in the nursing home will grind viagra up in his apple sauce..he still will be..and its all good.

What utter nonsense that it will turn sour..LOL...if you only knew..if this is sour may it stay this sour until my eyes roll back in head and I take my very last breath.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 7:44:25 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		There are always  going to be exceptions to a rule.  Dose not make it the right. Even in dysfunctional house holds can make  things work. But the damage that can be done can have long term bad effects.  Everything comes full circle. So if you want to run the banana boat of stupidity go ahead  I am not going to stop you. Make the most of it. A decade is not a long time. try people that have been together 40 years.  I am sure they do not think those things are cool.. Oh yes cheating is cool yadda yadda rofl  kiss my ass. Your no different then every other self righteous opinionated self serving liberal that is out there.  Oh well life is a discovery process welcome to animal planet lol   

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 8:07:49 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

There are always  going to be exceptions to a rule.  Dose not make it the right. Even in dysfunctional house holds can make  things work. But the damage that can be done can have long term bad effects.  Everything comes full circle. So if you want to run the banana boat of stupidity go ahead  I am not going to stop you. Make the most of it. A decade is not a long time. try people that have been together 40 years.  I am sure they do not think those things are cool.. Oh yes cheating is cool yadda yadda rofl  kiss my ass. Your no different then every other self righteous opinionated self serving liberal that is out there.  Oh well life is a discovery process welcome to animal planet lol   



He isn't cheating since I know about it. I don't think cheating is cool, when you are cheating on a spouse/sig other that means they don't know about it, well I know he is with other women, so no cheating.

You have yet to answer the question..What damage? Damage to who? Certainly not to me and not him...I guess he could keel over and die from a massive MI from too much fucking..but what a way to go!



_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Alone in my way of thinking? - 10/29/2007 8:25:17 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		sometimes it is not always right in front of you. People want a to the point answer. Most of the time people are not always honest about how they feel.  SOmetimes they cover it up just to be with someone. I have seen this all to often in relationships. Sure I will till you it is ok cause i love you. called it the hurt behind the smile.  look for past to dictate the future. that is where the truth of a person is

(in reply to BeingChewsie)
Profile   Post #: 120
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 5 [6] 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Alone in my way of thinking? Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 [6] 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078