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RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 9:35:13 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Mother was a strong Woman, and with the addition of a few shots of Kentucky
bourbon, She garnered the strength of ten Women. I pissed Her off big time
one day and She grabbed the two by four kept by the front door to beat off
intruders and proceeded to introduce me to the floor and a swing which would
have made the Babe proud. I suffered numerous scrapes, bruises, and a well
placed fracture to the elbow. It was in the moment that I suddenly realized I had
strength to beg for mercy.

When She tired, and I found the nerve to run from Her, a neighbor found me
crying and took me to the ER, where I was put in full cast, and a nice policeman
tried to get me to sign a paper so that "this won't happen again". I held the utmost
fear of my Mother, and dared not create a situation wherein She would find
cause for additional punishment, and I might be separated from Her. Funny how
back then, it was left up to me.

Upon returning home, new cast in tow, Mother looked up from Her cocktail,
thumbed Her nose and stated, "Now you know what I can do".

Indeed. And Her boy stayed.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 9:43:56 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maclough

Ok so this should start out with "This one is for the Sadists and Masochists out there"  and yep some D/s even do the S&M so yes it's for them also.  Hmmmn would I be willing to take it?  Can't answer it from out side the box.  Until I was there, then I could answer it.  I know alot of sadists who would be overly willing to break a few bones, know one who has flayed large sections of a masochist then rubbed sea salt in.  Suppose it's all about ones levels and no not about their level of submissiveness but trust and pain or for that matter inflicting pain also.  


Okay, so you won't claim to predict how you'd feel in that moment. That's fair play. You skirted the issue of whether this little bundle of notions does anything for you (sicken, allure, or other.)

I mean that's okay, but would you care to address that part of the query?

By the way, technical points to your friend for choosing sea salt over a mundane carton of Morton table salt. I mean the gouge and scrape of the big crystals as they release their chemical message, that's really nice.

No extra style points, though. That'd be a draw a draw since using the table salt would present the opportunity to set the cylindrical carton close before your eyes. The image on the label would be a lovely thing for you to be told not to look away from as the rubbing begins. (especially if he could find one with a reproduction of the 1921 labeling. http://www.crystalradio.net/saltbox/1921mortonparta.jpg)

But a choice should be made because to employ the sea salt with the table salt carton would be aesthetically clumsy, almost gauche.

(in reply to maclough)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 9:46:12 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Hmm, I have been tatooed, pierced, branded, burned, scared deliberatly, had knife cuts from knife play that left some nasty scars ( some deliberate, some not ), had the skin on my cheek broken open numerous times, my jaw broke once ( although this one truly was an accident in the sense that I got a bit too rowdy and when he tried to restrain me, things got really bad ).
All of these happened with the same man, by the same man; some were deliberate, some were not; I ACCEPTED everything that happened though with a clear head, and stayed with him because there was no one who could reach me the way he could


What can I say to that? My hat's off to both of you.

(Did he bust your face for getting that ugly tattoo?)

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 9:48:29 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

I'm a pretty heavy masochist, but not that heavy. I too got chills reading the OP. All pain is not the same definitely and I cannot take all kinds of pain. Also the comment about it being temporary since broken bones heal in time struck me. I have physical problems that cause me pain daily and broken bones in those areas will likely have a permanent long term effect on them even though it heals up. I believe broken bones leave a weakness in the broken area often even when fully healed. For me, no I couldn't ever go that far. Deep bruising, welts, stripes, skin breaks from singletails and canes, colorful marks, those are normal for me to have and I enjoy them and getting them, broken bones are a limit for me though especially when done deliberately.


I understand that the healed portion of a once-broken bone can be stronger afterward than before. I understand the points you've made too, though.

Thank you for sharing.

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 9:59:29 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Broken bones do carry a small health risk (varying depending on the break) and, in my opinion, are far too much trouble. One scene's worth of enjoyment vs. the cost of medical attention, (putting it in the cast and the x-rays) and the time spent rebuilding the muscle that weakened in the cast while the bone healed. We just wouldn't regard it as cost effective. Broken toes and fingers would hinder service and keep me out of the dojo. The fleeting joy of scene compared to the aftercare and dealing with the aftermath just wouldn't be worth it.


One scene's woth of enjoyment? What an odd way to view the proposal.

Besides the "scene" itself ( I don't usually operate in that kind of paradigm but of course it makes perfect sense) you have--in terms of ancillary sadistic pleasures: "... the cost of medical attention, (putting it in the cast and the x-rays) and the time spent rebuilding the muscle that weakened in the cast while the bone healed."

It's a gift that keeps on giving.

As for cost effectiveness evaluating the most intimate and passionate moments of my life under an economic model is a hard limit for me, but tally away if that's your kink.

Not so sound like a broken record (sorry) but couldn't hindered service be sweeter--in both the giving and the getting--than the unhindered kind? As a famous subbie once said "What are you willing to do for me."

The same goes, in its way, for your absence from the dojo, if someone chooses to contextualize it that way.

I wonder if that is part of the reason I've long shied away from the "do a scene" way of looking at kinky interactions. Might it tend to fertilize a tendency t mentally compartmentalize experiences into and out of the realm of BDSM? I don't know, but maybe.

Anyway, thanks for clearly presenting a distinctive point of view, AquaticSub.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:00:07 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

I understand that the healed portion of a once-broken bone can be stronger afterward than before.



I'd be very interested in reading any literature on that, if you could point the way. It's something I've never heard of and would be interested in.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:08:22 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
One scene's woth of enjoyment? What an odd way to view the proposal.

Besides the "scene" itself ( I don't usually operate in that kind of paradigm but of course it makes perfect sense) you have--in terms of ancillary sadistic pleasures: "... the cost of medical attention, (putting it in the cast and the x-rays) and the time spent rebuilding the muscle that weakened in the cast while the bone healed."

It's a gift that keeps on giving.

As for cost effectiveness evaluating the most intimate and passionate moments of my life under an economic model is a hard limit for me, but tally away if that's your kink.

Not so sound like a broken record (sorry) but couldn't hindered service be sweeter--in both the giving and the getting--than the unhindered kind? As a famous subbie once said "What are you willing to do for me."

The same goes, in its way, for your absence from the dojo, if someone chooses to contextualize it that way.

I wonder if that is part of the reason I've long shied away from the "do a scene" way of looking at kinky interactions. Might it tend to fertilize a tendency t mentally compartmentalize experiences into and out of the realm of BDSM? I don't know, but maybe.

Anyway, thanks for clearly presenting a distinctive point of view, AquaticSub.



We value praticality more then a notion of "what will you suffer for me".

If I am healing from a broken leg, I am not serving him. He is taking care of me. We already have a great deal of things to deal with in our day-to-day life, we do not need the added chore of one of us being hobbled, particularly not the one who does all the household chores. I have enough problems with my back going out randomly.

If my hand is broken, I can not cook - he has to. If I am not in the dojo, I am not working on my blood pressure and I am not doing one of the things that he finds so attractive about me. If the break goes badly, my movement could be permently impaired - no more martial arts, no swordfighting, no nothing. If my hands should be injured, I can not paint - one of my lifelong passions simply gone and he would be responsible. That would be sadistic beyond measure, not something Valyraen is interested in doing.

We do not compartmentalize our "playtime". We simply look at how getting our rocks off will affect the rest of our daily lives. The risks, recovery and costs of breaking bones is simply not worth it, much as we do not regard the risk of rape play with a stranger whose husband tells us "she wants it real bad" worth the reward.

It suits others very well, I am quite sure of this, but it is completely unsuitable for us, the service that he requires and the risks are unacceptable given our goals for me.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/28/2007 10:14:12 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:13:07 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Wow, my friend just broke her arm, and she's been running around looking like she's dead, in severe pain all the time .. had to redo her cast over and over, her skin is even peeling on her fingers... she's drugged up all the time.. can't do her job hardly... and she's a professional and a perfectionist. She can't wash her hair. And I've known people who had to get major surgery after a bone wouldn't heal right. And then the nastiest scars ever are the arm and leg surgeries to fix them.

Cut it out. You're making my nipples all wrinkly.

quote:

I'm a masochist, but I'm going to have to go with a big no. I really can't imagine anyone being turned on by that kind of pain. Seriously.


Funny you should say that, because the people who are turned on by that kind of pain are seriously turned on.


quote:

And if you think a tattoo is too permanent, maybe you should meet people who have suffered broken bones more before you decide it's something less than that. Geez.


"Too permanent"? Isn't that like "a little bit pregnant"?

Sure bone breaks can maim and disfigure. More often they are survived without any lingering trace of the events. That's how my own bone breaks have gone, anyway.

And please don't be too distracted as I out myself for my politically incorrect distaste for tattoos. Feel free to find it amusing.





(in reply to hermione83)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:23:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

(This should be of no interest to the strictly d/s or b/d people. S&Mers might want to read further, or might not)

I'm not talking about some sort of emotional or psychological breaking down. I'm talking about bones, connective tissue, and that big connective tissue: skin. If you want to bring in eyeballs and eardrums I think the likelihood of permanence of any damage rules them out of this discussion. Teeth? You make the call, I mean a little drilling here or there. Breaking off chunks would be too edgy for me.


I had a really bad ear ache once and ever time I got that sharp knifelike pain, it would run straight down and make my pussy twitch. Himself thought it was hilarious; me, I just thought it was odd but, whatever works, works.

As for my teeth, I am rather fond of them, take very good care of them, so it wouldn't be my preference to lose them and as Himself likes my smile, I doubt he would want to cause them to fall out due to his action.
quote:


Would you be willing to wear a cast or a crutch? Could you get off on it?


Sure, whether I need one or not. I'm all over mummification and plaster of paris makes a great mummifier. (Is that a word?) As for as getting off on it, probably more so if I didn't need it and just wanted it, but given the tooth pain incident, I can't be 100% sure that it wouldn't effect me in some sexual way. It's kinda hot as a thought though.. sorta.

quote:

If you are into permanent stuff like tattoos or heavy scarification, could you graciously receive the gift of, say, a permanent limp?


Hmm.. interesting question. I move pretty slow as it is and a limp would probably slow me down even more. At this point, I'd probably 'not' want a perm limp because I have dog walking duties and having a pit bull/lab mix and not keeping up to his speed wouldn't do much in the way of exercise for him. Really though, it's not a whole lot different from crawling around for Himself which is not as frequent as it used to be (bad knees) but still part of the package on occasion.

quote:

I'm just asking.


So it seems. :)

quote:



Does the idea of this sort of serious, enduring but mostly not permanant damaging appeal to you?


Some things do, some don't. I do have that consumption fantasy after all. That's pretty permanant and it appeals a great deal to me. I've also thought hobbling was always kind of hot and appealing as well.

quote:

 Does it appeal only at the level of fantasy or would you or have you engaged intentionally in it?


Some of it is strictly fantasy, some of it is so far out of the realm of what I know Himself is capable/willing to do and others I have/would love to engage in if allowed. I love hook suspension, scarification, branding, carving, cutting but hadn't really given much thought to broken bones or connective tissue damage. I would prefer to save the hot pokers for my skin rather than my eyeballs.


quote:

Lots of skin breaking goes on around here what with piercings and so forth. Knife play can take it farther. Skin-breaking is clearly temporary, since skin mends itself. Scarring can be more enduring, often permanent, of course. The scarring could be seen as an incidental side-effect or as the whole point of the exercise. How do you see it?


Both ways work for me. I do prefer scars when they are intentional as opposed to accidental. I carry both kinds.

quote:

Having discused skin-breaking we leave the territory on which a lot of kink literature is available. I don't see bone-and ligament-breaking kinks discussed much, for some reason.


Well, there are some amputee websites that might speak more to the subject, but it's certainly not unheard of, just rare I think.

quote:

Whichever kind of physical breaking you'd like to discuss, how far would you be willing to take it with the optimal situation and partner? With the partner you happen to have?


That's a bit difficult to answer since it's a hypothetical. I'm not sure what an optimal situation would be, much less who, other than Himself, would be more compatible with me on the whole. There are somethings which I enjoy and would jump to do with both feet and a big smile.. other things would have to be ordered for me to do them.


quote:

How far does your thinking go before it all goes from hot to squick, even as fantasy?


I'm not easily squicked but not everything turns me on either. I like the idea of wearing a cast, not as crazy about having to intentionally break my arm to wear one .. but still.. it's kinda sorta hot to think about it.  Having my eardrums pierced does not turn me on at all, but it's pretty obvious that an ear ache, which caused some pretty intense pain, was a turn on. ::shrugs:: I can't explain it. The body does what it does despite the way the brain thinks about it.

quote:

Does it not even get to step one?


Well, if both my legs are broken, I can't say I'd be climbing any steps.. but, a broken arm.. probably gets to at least step one.

quote:

Would you like to see if these these amps go to eleven?
('cause I mean if we're left with an amp I think it's safe to say you took it to eleven.)


It wouldn't be my first choice.

quote:

Do you think it would be an amazing bonding experience to look deeply into your partner eyes as he or she progressively bent your finger back, the pain building steadily and steeply to a brilliant burst accompanied by that characteristic pencil-snapping-underwater sound, and the wave of nausea that usually follows?


Eh, I'm not that much into fingering, per se, but there other similiar things that.. oh yeah, totally hot, hot. I'd be all over it.

quote:

Or not so much, really?


I don't know.. the finger.. it just seems so, benign. I mean, if you're going to do something like that, at least an arm, make it worth while. What the hell is a finger?

Eh. I'd rather be carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey though. Get some blood flow going, hang me like a piece of meat on some hooks and help me get to .. that place ..that only dropping acid can take you to otherwise.

Nice thread, Noah. If you'll excuse me.. I need a towel. :)

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:24:07 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

short answer...no

long answer...no, but not for the reasons others have listed...the pain is not the issue...the long drawn out pain is not that big a deal (my daily pain level is at a 5 to 7 on a 1 to 10 scale...theres not much higher it can go...i can deal with it)...and actually the fact that someone would want to cause me long drawn out pain is hot, i am a masochist...like i said, the pain is not the problem...neither is the scarring, i have lots of tattoos, i have been pierced 9 times and branded 3 times, and i have a cutting on the middle of my back.... the problem would be my inability to serve in so many capacities...and i would not be with someone that would be willing to break their valued toys just for the fun of it and disregard the fact that they are depriving themselves of the service that they enjoy...that just doesn't make any kind of sense to me...and i wouldn't be with someone that is that illogical and irrational...the closest cliche i can think of would be "cutting off your nose to spite your face"....


The vanilla guy in high school who left a wee bruise on your rump from holding on while you bucked was busy breaking your cappilaries. When you've been pierced the largest organ of your body was broken. Do these breakings demonstrate that whomever you did them with failed to value you?

It is a matter of degree of behavior, not kind of behavior. I'm content to let you draw your lines where you comfortably find them.

And once again this curious notion that a Sadist would enjoy service less the more difficult and painful it may be to perform. That doesn't make any kind of sense to me. So I guess we cash out even.

Too bad we couldn't do so without one of us casting derogatory allusions.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:25:32 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

Oh yeah. I am a masochist. Just coming back in to ... ~shudder~


You again?

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:39:22 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncontrol

Many  many moons ago I was a submissive/bottom.  My top, dom accidently broke my tailbone (actually chipped off the tip) during a rather aggressive paddling.  This was 16 years ago.  I still can feel the pain after sitting on the floor or on long car rides...I sometimes smile remembering how much fun we used to have but usually it just is a pain in the ass...literally. 

The physical pain is the easy part to get over...it was all that other stuff that went with this...that was the real bitch.  The consequences...you don't think about when fantasizing.  First, the visit to the ER, embarassing...trying to explain I had consented....then the police, domestic violence counselors, calls to my parents (I was an adult but the hospital called anyhow since I was a college student and on their insurance)...lawyers....judges and jury.  Explaining to each that he was not senselessly beating me...I consented and it was an accident.

If you are not really into humilation...degredation and being a public spectacle (I had to carry around a rubber donut to sit on for months) this may not be something you want to consider.


So if you "are not really into humilation...degredation and being a public spectacle" then what meaningful offerings they might be to an emotionally sadistic partner, eh?

But to each her own.

And, yeah, even though I'm not into rubber as a rule I am gleefully considering the donut.

Thanks, MsInc.

(in reply to MsIncontrol)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:44:50 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I would take no issue if Master chose to break my bones, other than realizing he had changed his mind about not wanting to break my bones (we've talked about it before).  I am not a masochist by any means.  I hate pain for the most part.  He is not a physical sadist but enjoys tormenting my mind.  But I've been in positions before where what he was doing could have hurt me in more than a casual way, and I did nothing to stop his process other than in my own way, inform him of what was happening so he could decide to stop or continue if he wished. One time, while his knife was pointing into my throat, I was so high from it I whispered, "Do it..." several times.   I am not concerned about being hurt or damaged by him, and if I am, I will deal with it.  I used to feel opposed to being so hurt, but I no longer am.

As for bonding...we've done some pretty horrific things (horrific being subjective and all) which were extremely bonding.  I'd say depending on the situation, yes, it could be highly bonding.  I don't foresee him doing this though, at least not intentionally.  If something happens by accident, I'll deal with it.


The main thing is: you're not masochistic by any means (of which you're pretty sure since so many cool ones have been tried.)

Thanks for commenting on the bonding issue and and the deeply subjective nature of horror. I think either of those notions could produce a worhtwhile thread on its own.



(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:47:27 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet
She grabbed the two by four kept by the front door to beat off intruders ...


So the apple didn't fall too far from the tree?

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:49:25 PM   
Noah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

I understand that the healed portion of a once-broken bone can be stronger afterward than before.



I'd be very interested in reading any literature on that, if you could point the way. It's something I've never heard of and would be interested in.


Scroll up a bit for information on amputee fetish websites. But no, the simple bone-break thing I don't thing I've seen.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:54:28 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


Scroll up a bit for information on amputee fetish websites. But no, the simple bone-break thing I don't thing I've seen.



No offense, but I generally don't think a fetish website is going to have the most up-to-date or accurate medicial information. If I get some time and I'm bored, I'll poke through some medical textbooks. Might call one of the family doctors, they get enough strange questions out of me anyway.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:56:16 PM   
hermione83


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
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quote:

And please don't be too distracted as I out myself for my politically incorrect distaste for tattoos. Feel free to find it amusing.


I don't like them either, but the kind of sadism you have is scary in a *bad* way. Hopefully you're joking a bit, but I've never met someone that likes to watch anyone suffer for any reason. That's the psychokiller sadism that I would definitely try to avoid. The kind of situation where in my life a sadistic person would be desired would always put love for me above his sadism, and only do things such as greatly increasing the intensity of the feelings we were having - not desire to see me severely injured. I would hope that a Dom would want to protect his sub more than that. Otherwise, it's just creepy to me.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 10:58:43 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
The main thing is: you're not masochistic by any means (of which you're pretty sure since so many cool ones have been tried.)

Thanks for commenting on the bonding issue and and the deeply subjective nature of horror. I think either of those notions could produce a worhtwhile thread on its own.





No, I am not a masochist.  If I could be called one at all, it would be of the emotional sense, but even then I'm not so sure.  But I do not particularly care for pain; that is not where my pleasure is derived.

As for the bond, that is pretty much why we do what we do, he and I.  It's all about the connection, the intimacy, the M/s dance, if you will.  What we enjoy is expressing ourselves together, and what we are, as ultimately as we can.  Seems the more intense and difficult, the more awesome the connection.  Neither of us would get much out of this if we were not feeding that bond. 

As for the new thread idea, it's a good idea.  You start it :)

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 11:09:39 PM   
chiaThePet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet
She grabbed the two by four kept by the front door to beat off intruders ...


So the apple didn't fall too far from the tree?



Just far enough to allow my creativity to turn the two by four into a humbler.

I can be selfish that way.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Breaking a submissive, as such - 10/28/2007 11:39:13 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

We value praticality more then a notion of "what will you suffer for me".


And we respect your right to do so.

quote:

If I am healing from a broken leg, I am not serving him. He is taking care of me. We already have a great deal of things to deal with in our day-to-day life, we do not need the added chore of one of us being hobbled, particularly not the one who does all the household chores. I have enough problems with my back going out randomly.


My response to this has appeared above. I think it would be tiresome of me to repeat it here.

quote:

If my hand is broken, I can not cook - he has to.


He has to?

That is to say: in my house things are neither so simple nor so easy, but rock on with what works for you.


quote:

If I am not in the dojo, I am not working on my blood pressure and I am not doing one of the things that he finds so attractive about me. If the break goes badly, my movement could be permently impaired - no more martial arts, no swordfighting, no nothing.


Look. I believe that we all should have boundaries. If swordfighting is something you would not willingly risk for your partner, that's your business and I don't think anyone should attack you for that.

And I'm all for controlling your blood pressure.

That said, I've seen some impressive martial arts performed from a wheelchair. My brother's elbow break went badly decades ago and to this day he can do things with that arm that normal humans can't. I mean your point is well taken but it was generously overstated.


quote:

If my hands should be injured, I can not paint. - one of my lifelong passions simply gone ...


Maybe a little bit dramatic here, A.S. Sprained pinkies would prevent you from painting? That would be your choice to make. Someone else would hurry to take the opportunity to explore the ways in which the temporary debility would inform her art.

I hope painting does turn out to be a lifelong passion for you. And I hope you are blessed with a long life. If these things come to pass then like countless painters before you you will eventually face the artistic challenges and opportunities which come from working with a hands (and eyes!) well past their peak of functionality. I hope you won't quit at the first sign of arthritis in your hands, regardless of whether the disease will have been exacerbated by consensual or accidental bone breaks.

I don't want anyone to injure your hands, A.S. but I've seen art made by paraplegics who painted with their toes and by quads held the brush by mouth. Dali said that if he were deprived the use of his limbs he would close his eyes and make art of phosphenes. Passion will try very hard find its expression if it is worthy of the name, I think.

quote:

... and he would be responsible.


Yikes!

Since the entire topic here has been limited to consensual activity, how is it that you would not share in the responsibility? I'm glad you guys have such a great thing going. A predispostion to self-absolve and begin pointing (splintered) fingers after the consensual fact would be a deal-killer for some people.

quote:

That would be sadistic beyond measure, not something Valyraen is interested in doing.


And once again, that's well and good, acknowledged and respected.

quote:

We do not compartmentalize our "playtime". We simply look at how getting our rocks off will affect the rest of our daily lives. The risks, recovery and costs of breaking bones is simply not worth it, much as we do not regard the risk of rape play with a stranger whose husband tells us "she wants it real bad" worth the reward.


I appreciate all that, A.S. I hope you didn't misread me as saying that I think you compartmentalize anything at all. I spoke in generalities about what might tend to happen to people in a position unfamiliar to me, and I drew no conclusions even about the generalities.

The economic way of seeing these things ("risk and cost" and "worth the reward") comes readily to you. It is a little strained for me. As the kids said last year: It's all good.

quote:

It suits others very well, I am quite sure of this, but it is completely unsuitable for us, the service that he requires and the risks are unacceptable given our goals for me.


Yet again, I think I speak for all present in saying that we appreciate and respect your viewpoint.

All the best to you both and thanks for taking part in the thread.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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