SunnyTawse
Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tigrita
How about he picks a theme he wants, like sporty, or schoolgirl, or whatever, and lets you find the right pieces that will make it work on you. Try things on in the stores before buying, get him used to seeing what will look good on you. And as for lingerie, you mentioned he likes 2 pieces, you look better in 1 pieces... how about just modeling stuff in the store for him, letting him see it, that will get him excited about the one piece looks that work well for you. Another idea is a corset-style top and garter set. Controls the tummy, but as sexy as a bra and panty+garter set.
Some wonderful ideas here! I was just about to make a similar suggestion. And do some shopping on your own, too, looking for styles and pieces that might veer off in the direction he likes but that you can tolerate. Keep looking and don't give up, because you might have to go through many outfits, many racks of clothes in many stores, many evenings of shopping before you find some things you'll both like.
In the meantime, do fashion shows for him at home with some of the things you've found. You can always take back the things he doesn't like.
The guys are right, though--you're going to have to change your view of yourself somewhat--maybe not entirely, but somewhat. I'm short and fat and WAY past middle age, but once I turned around and saw myself with a lover in a mirror that I didn't know was there--i.e., I didn't have a chance to paste up all my pre-concieved notions in front of my own eyes--and I was shocked at how good I looked, seeing myself through his eyes. And I'll tell you, girl--I'm a Domme! My attitude is, "Hey this is it. Take it or leave it. And if you're leaving, hurry it up and get the hell out, 'cause they're lining up outside the door." But in truth, I have as many insecurities as anyone else when it comes to my own body; I just refuse to give in to them. And so far, no one's run away screaming.
I blame the media--all that airbrushing and makeup and the flattering angles and lights. Everytime we look at a woman in a magazine or on a billboard, we see something that is NOT REAL. And we think it's real. And yet--I founded and am president of Fetish Bound greeting cards, and we do *almost* the same thing. My photographer-partner refuses to PhotoShop out anything but the largest imperfections, but you can believe he takes great care with the lights and angles. The thing is, women are beautiful. We like to look at them. And in the pursuit of beauty, we create these impossible expectations in ourselves. And I'm against that intellectually--and yet I find myself doing the same thing with my little greeting card company. It's not for money--it's for the beauty of the card. So I don't know the answer.
The only thing you can do, ultimately, is to accept yourself, and trust your partner.
Two of the hardest things in the world sometimes.
But good for spiritual growth, as well as for pragmatics.
Best of luck.
Sunny Tawse
Sadien Domina
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RE: When a Dom asks Sub to wear something unflattering. - 
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