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RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 3:44:38 PM   
gcarlos


Posts: 98
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		It pleases Master and frees me.

--Master's {girl}

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 3:46:03 PM   
Tigrita


Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		For me, part of the appeal of humiliation is endulging feelings that I typically am to proud and strong to endulge or give power to.  Sure, these are not excatly pleasurable feelings in the traditional sense, but it takes work keeping up that strength and pride and fighting the little digs bumps that might wear you down, when sometimes it might be easy to just wallow in them, but in real life, you don't becuase you have pride in yourself and also because you couldn't function if you allowed yourself to wallow in them.  So yes, I agree with bostontwo, it is cathartic.  Also, endulging those feelings of humiliation and degradation, and then still coming out a strong, happy,   fulfilled, respected person is empowering and reinforces that strength that you have the rest of the time.  That is how it works for me anyway. 

Taboo is often also a big appeal of it too in some circumstances.  Being that dirty, nasty, objectified little whatever... that your parents or mentors would be so shocked by and ashamed of.  Fun stuff.

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 3:46:43 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		Mm. Yes. Like several have said, I get off on obeying him even (especially??) when it is a difficult order for me to carry out, seeing the pleasure in his expression, the utter satisfaction in knowing that yaldah surrenders herself to his whim.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 3:53:46 PM   
MidnightMaiden


Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		I like the analogy that people have used about removing the mask, the first breath that I take when I surrender and the mask is removed, is the sweetest thing on earth.

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 3:53:49 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Different than most I think…at least in this lifestyle.

I need it to please no one...not even me

I deserve it.

It appeases my need to be punished

A weapon against the madness of uncontrolled insatiable evil thoughts.

damn I just frightened myself….hmmmm I wonder if I can remember that shrinks number.

< Message edited by kdsub -- 11/6/2007 3:54:58 PM >

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 3:59:15 PM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Different than most I think…at least in this lifestyle.

I need it to please no one...not even me

I deserve it.

It appeases my need to be punished

A weapon against the madness of uncontrolled insatiable evil thoughts.

damn I just frightened myself….hmmmm I wonder if I can remember that shrinks number.


Part of the darkness is a simple fear of the unknown.

Daring to break your own limits can be very freeing. Especially when they were actually based on a fear  that turned out to be other than you expected.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 4:14:26 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		When you experience humiliation that touches all your buttons, it is a sublimely hot feeling...it just turns me on.

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 6:06:53 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Major downer for me, doesn't work well at all. Creates distance between us, lessens trust. Tried it, tossed it.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 7:39:32 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: submittous

Watching her melt down into "slavespace"


there is nothing dark or secret or hidden...it is where i no longer have to think about everything else in the world, only about what pleases him and what i can do to continue pleasing him...



Why did that give me thos horrible vision of a "wicked witch of the west" from the wizard of oz........only the dom is peeing on the sub........"I'm melting, melting, meltinggggggggggggggg...AAAAAAAaaaaaaaa............"


omg, i am going to have such a hard time NOT saying that the next time i get pee'd on....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 8:08:14 PM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		To me it it does nothing - dominance for me does not come from belittling the other person. The other submits freely because of a trusting and loving relationship.
I am not judging others though - if it works for you go for it.


_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 8:12:13 PM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Humilation is one postion that the vanilla world does not encourage. It can be seen as power over another as you  can take their self respect away in either forcing them to react to presure or to expose their weaknesses.In may ways it can be very erotic for some while others see it as worthless act of playing.. Humilation can be seen as the most giving  aspects of being a sub since you are willing to endure  for a superior or other person.. And while the act may only last a littel while it can linger in someones mind for years..That can be powerful

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 8:20:29 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Humilation is one postion that the vanilla world does not encourage. It can be seen as power over another as you  can take their self respect away in either forcing them to react to presure or to expose their weaknesses.In may ways it can be very erotic for some while others see it as worthless act of playing.. Humilation can be seen as the most giving  aspects of being a sub since you are willing to endure  for a superior or other person.. And while the act may only last a littel while it can linger in someones mind for years..That can be powerful


Ahhhh... someone finally hit on one of the things that enters into it for me.  I have seen humilation play and psychological play taken to the extremes where the submissive/slave has difficulty recovering from it.  Humilation play is powerful... and can be damaging.  It takes really getting to know the other person well... knowing what their core values are... then staying as far away from those core values as possible.  Too many play around with this and risk the psychological damage that can come of it. 
 
But, as always.... JMO.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 8:22:02 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular

To me it it does nothing - dominance for me does not come from belittling the other person. The other submits freely because of a trusting and loving relationship.
I am not judging others though - if it works for you go for it.



I agree with you on this one, MrSpectacular

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to MrSpectacular)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 9:05:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Here is my essay again on what objectification/humiliation means and does to me.

My most common form of objectification is as a sex toy and a servant.

Part of it is BECAUSE of my academic background, I'm very smart and very well educated. I think a LOT, I work a LOT, I am a control freak, I have moderate OCD, I am the social planner for my group of friends.

Being an object means you don't have to think, you don't have to stress, you just have to BE that object. You are there, purely and passively, for service and use. There's no need for you to interpret anything, no need for you to react, only simply to BE there.

That's a pretty awesome state of being for me.

Another part, the shown off part, is because I am an exhibitionist, I get a huge charge out of people's energy when they enjoy looking and playing with me. They are giving ME lots of attention, they want to touch ME, they want to use ME for pleasure, I can provide them with a release, with a good time, a good memory.

The sexual usage part is just part of my universal sex fantasy life- it's just hot to be used, hot to be a hole to go in, do your thing and get out. I don't really know much about that other than what I've already stated. I can't tell you why it gets me so deep any more than I can tell you why bondage does.

Something most subs and slaves can understand- it takes away choice. You don't have to think, you don't get to say no, you are there to always say YES, an object, a trophy doesn't get to say stop or get to dictate how it is used.

I am somewhat materialistic in that I like to use my money and gifts to show people I care for them. It's a physical thing I can give to show I've been thinking of them and want to add to their lives. While I understand they don't NEED those things, it's a very powerful idea to me. So, to BE the object itself, to be given to someone else, has a distinct personal flavor to it.

You'll notice- all of these reasons are about ME, what I enjoy, what I get out of it.

The Owner will pass me around and use me in ways I don't necessarily enjoy directly. He will send me to people I don't have an affinity for, partly because he KNOWS I don't have an affinity for them. So I don't necessarily always love it, with anyone, anywhere. There are definitely circumstances in which I really hate it.

While I love attention, I am actually quite uncomfortable ASKING for attention, I am very uneasy when people actually look at me and say "Now, I'm going to give you all this attention, just for you, just to enjoy, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Part of it is because not too many people are actually really GOOD at giving me happy pleasure, part of it is that I've trained myself to adapt and become what the OTHER person needs for that session, which, if it's a good match, will also be what I need.

And part of it is just my innate shyness and discomfort with being a focal point of attention. I don't know what to do with it, I feel very exposed. Perhaps a paradox for someone who LOVES being exposed, but that's why I call humiliation a "burning."

So, the humiliation and objectification is a keen way for me to receive attention, which I love, while being passive about asking for it and simply being a pretty little butterfly that people are attracted to, rather than dealing with the harder ordeal for me of directly asking and directly being told to sit back and enjoy.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_557686/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#557707
Embarassment vs humiliation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_354018/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#354196
humiliation???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_412944/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#413037
what is good humiliation to you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_426015/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#426025
humiliation vs degradation

http://www.collarchat.com/m_489256/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#489324
humiliation and vulnerability

http://www.collarchat.com/m_310209/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#310223
Humiliation- verbal and physical

http://www.collarchat.com/m_266448/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#266532
humiliation ideas

Slaves on display via webcam?

Fat Cow? Verbal humiliation (rehashed)

Humiliation and Degradation

Erotic Humiliation

Female Humiliation- in the scene

Asking for humiliation

Favorite Forms of humiliation

Humiliation

Humliation Play

Favorite forms of humiliation

Erotic Humiliation and Objectification

Why such problems with humiliation?

Fun ideas for humiliation

Humiliation (2)

Verbal Humiliation

Help with humiliation please!

Your thoughts on humiliation please

Questions about humiliation

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to gcarlos)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Humiliation - 11/6/2007 9:18:04 PM   
serenitee


Posts: 13
Status: offline 		I love being humiliated knowing I am doing it to serve him, and please him. It allows me to forget about everything else and devote my entire being to do what he requests of me. Seeing him happy is the most rewarding, no matter what I'm required to do for him. It is almost spiritual in a way... 

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Humiliation - 11/7/2007 12:56:42 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Because I like tearing off masks-and seeing what is hiding behind them.

Ditto for me as well.  I enjoy the mental aspects of it, digging into what makes someone tick, what really drives them, exploring the dark corners of their inner self.  There's a kind of liberation to be found there for some, and its enjoyable to watch that unfold.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to RRafe)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Humiliation - 11/7/2007 3:28:20 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Interesting thread with great responses.

Humiliating a sub makes her feel insecure to the degree that she will find comfort in performing a humiliating act. She will want the relief of losing herself in the actual act. She does the act and I say, “good girl” and all is well.

Suppose I make her stand at attention and tell her how she is a slut, bitch, cunt and her only purpose in life is to serve. I tell her that she is helpless to be any other way and she knows it. I ask her if she knows it. She nods tearfully. I pull her hair, a pop or two on her naked skin with a crop as I speak until she is trembling.

Now she is ready for the humiliating act. I snap my chain on her collar. “Come with me, there is something I want you to do,” I say as I lead her along by the leash. She is ready to do whatever and hear the relief, “good girl” brings.   

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Humiliation - 11/7/2007 11:13:24 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		It accentuates and differentiates my dom from being one who has power and control over me to just anyone who can top me or just be a boyfriend/lover to me.  The fact that i can give myself that way and relish it because i adore pleasing him is an absolute joy and a rush, and no matter how far it goes he will only love me more for it and not think less of me.  It's such a bonding experience and truly unites us as dom and sub.   

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Humiliation - 11/7/2007 12:47:23 PM   
TheHousewife


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		Something about it makes me feel like I have been put 'in my place', a feeling I very much like! I can be a bit arrogant and bratty, and I definately need to be put in my place sometimes. That being said I only like humiliation with words and pain...being pissed on would not be something I would desire.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Humiliation - 11/7/2007 1:14:58 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

 Humilation play is powerful... and can be damaging.  It takes really getting to know the other person well... knowing what their core values are... then staying as far away from those core values as possible.  Too many play around with this and risk the psychological damage that can come of it.  
 


Bingo.  With me it's damaging.  But I've noticed that people have different definitions of humiliation.  I don't find grunge fucking humiliating... I was reading a thread elsewhere that basically asked subs if they liked it when their Dom said "shut up and spread your legs" and something like 20 pages of responses all said "HOT HOT HOT".  One in particular fondly comes to mind... she woke up to find that he had put his hand on her mouth and said "Not a word missy". Oh myyyyyyyyyy.

Um, sorry, I digress.

Sharon

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 40
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