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ORIGINAL: CalifChick

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ORIGINAL: MystressDream

 Humilation play is powerful... and can be damaging.  It takes really getting to know the other person well... knowing what their core values are... then staying as far away from those core values as possible.  Too many play around with this and risk the psychological damage that can come of it.  
 

Bingo.  With me it's damaging.  But I've noticed that people have different definitions of humiliation.  I don't find grunge fucking humiliating... I was reading a thread elsewhere that basically asked subs if they liked it when their Dom said "shut up and spread your legs" and something like 20 pages of responses all said "HOT HOT HOT".  One in particular fondly comes to mind... she woke up to find that he had put his hand on her mouth and said "Not a word missy". Oh myyyyyyyyyy.

Um, sorry, I digress.

Sharon

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ORIGINAL: Tigrita

Interesting post Chelle, it made me think, and respectfully disagree as to the last part.  I do think that humility is important, in both dominants and submissives, but I don't think a dominant should have to hide it from a submissive.  I think humility is very much a strength in its self and enhances my opinion of a dominant.  A dominant being able to recognize and apologize when they are wrong, feel when they are hurting, know when they need help and are not strong enough or don't have the skill set to acomplish something on their own... These are all types of humility, and to deny them is a mask, a front, a level of arrogance and huberous that is very un-attractive and even untrustworthy.  It is also a great challenge sometimes for a dominant personality, and strength shows in the greatest challenges.  I think it is also a way that a relationship with a submissive can help a dominant grow, not necessarily in an active way on the submissive's part, but as the relationship and trust grow, the dominant can grow this way within the trust of a submissive, to be able to show weakness and imperfection and maintain dominance.  That is a beautiful thing to me and I have seen it with both the dominants I've had relationships with and only think more of them for it, not less.

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ORIGINAL: Cntrolmeplease

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ORIGINAL: Tigrita

Taboo is often also a big appeal of it too in some circumstances.  Being that dirty, nasty, objectified little whatever... that your parents or mentors would be so shocked by and ashamed of.  Fun stuff.

Taboo is what does it for me too.. All the "i'm going to take pictures of all these nasty things you are letting me do to you and show them to your family.  Then they'll know what a dirty girl you really are" or "we are going to sit at a bar and I am going to make you lift your skirt to the top of your thighs and make you part those pretty little knees of yours.. Then your little pussy will be exposed.. Everyone is going to see your little pussy.." 
Whew.. sorry!

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ORIGINAL: MsBearlee

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ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
...
Humiliating a sub makes her feel insecure to the degree that she will find comfort in performing a humiliating act. She will want the relief of losing herself in the actual act. She does the act and I say, “good girl” and all is well.

Suppose I make her stand at attention and tell her how she is a slut, bitch, cunt and her only purpose in life is to serve. I tell her that she is helpless to be any other way and she knows it. I ask her if she knows it. She nods tearfully. I pull her hair, a pop or two on her naked skin with a crop as I speak until she is trembling.   
... 

This was the only example I caught regarding what humiliation MIGHT be.  I would like to remind people that one person’s humiliation is another person’s gentle tease.
 
I do not like statements that make sweeping generalizations like ‘humiliating a sub makes her feel…”  What ever makes a person feel anything…varies from person to person.
 
With regard to humiliation; I love it…but find I am not at all into name-calling, which to me borders on abuse.  Humiliation for some might simply be being to to ‘spread ‘em!’    <huge grins>  I find it sad that we did not first define humiliation before we began discussing our feelings regarding the practice.
 
I have said this before, but perhaps it bears repeating:  EVERYTHING is relative! 
 
MsB

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ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Well think about public play ..Who really gets the bad end of it in public play ..the giver or the taker? If its a guy, it makes him look like a whip or if he gives it out hes also punished as a n abuser
For a woman instructing humilation in public is really the best combination.. Woman have advantage over a male doing it in our society..

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ORIGINAL: Cntrolmeplease

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ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Bingo.  With me it's damaging.  But I've noticed that people have different definitions of humiliation.  I don't find grunge fucking humiliating... I was reading a thread elsewhere that basically asked subs if they liked it when their Dom said "shut up and spread your legs" and something like 20 pages of responses all said "HOT HOT HOT".  One in particular fondly comes to mind... she woke up to find that he had put his hand on her mouth and said "Not a word missy". Oh myyyyyyyyyy.

Um, sorry, I digress.

Sharon

Sharon,
Do you have the link to that thread by any chance?

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ORIGINAL: chellekitty

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ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Well think about public play ..Who really gets the bad end of it in public play ..the giver or the taker? If its a guy, it makes him look like a whip or if he gives it out hes also punished as a n abuser
For a woman instructing humilation in public is really the best combination.. Woman have advantage over a male doing it in our society..

or the public who didn't agree to be a part of your scene?

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ORIGINAL: deine

What is the appeal of humiliation for you?