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RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 9:47:09 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		lack of follow through



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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to themischievous1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 10:03:04 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		Have very restrictive definition for what your partner should be and be sure to get angry and bitter when they dont live up to your fantasy 

Have a strict role for yourself and force yourself into that mold. 

Deceive yourself and your partner as much as possible, then blame them for not really caring about you.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 10:11:03 PM   
kitttty


Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline 		"Oh honey, we can do whichever thing you'd like. I just want to make you happy"- from the Dom. That's one type of attitude that can wreck a BDSM relationship but probably not a vanilla one.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 10:28:46 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLegs

Have very restrictive definition for what your partner should be and be sure to get angry and bitter when they dont live up to your fantasy 

Have a strict role for yourself and force yourself into that mold. 

Deceive yourself and your partner as much as possible, then blame them for not really caring about you.


IMO, this is about the most accurate post here.  It happens all too frequently.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

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(in reply to LadyLegs)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/7/2007 10:29:51 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		Burning the bacon before the omelet!

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"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 4:35:41 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Be with the wrong partner and try to force it to work. I've know a few couples who went through this only for it to end horribly. They did everything by the "book" except look at how different their personalities, likes and dislikes were.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 6:13:47 AM   
grumpieoldbitch


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		When you go to do the laundry and you wish he would wipe his ass cleaner cause of the shit streaks in his underwear.
When you ask him if his arthritis is acting up cause the knots he tied you can undo with ease.
When he asks you where his crop, paddle ect is and its within his grasp already.

_____________________________

IF you can't laugh at yourself for being human then dont cry when you fall and skin your knees.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 6:18:29 AM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Having your dominant tell you, "I just read these great fantasy novels.... and we're going to base our entire lives on them from here on out."

(in reply to grumpieoldbitch)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 6:37:06 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sylkenkitten

~cracks up~ .. how about ... you're kneeling wearing what he instructed you to wear when he gets home, he forgot to call to say guests were coming, ie his boss, and he walks in with his boss....

you're wearing nothing but his collar



it would be like wow dude you hve your own private maid very cool

(in reply to sylkenkitten)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 6:40:54 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Lie in the Relationship.... it will kill anything... even weeds

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 6:44:37 AM   
grumpieoldbitch


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		Tell him he hits like a 5 year old girl and youve seen bigger cocks on the internet.

_____________________________

IF you can't laugh at yourself for being human then dont cry when you fall and skin your knees.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 6:50:05 AM   
caught4u


Posts: 132
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline 		not trusting enough

_____________________________

"Be Yourself - Everyone Else is Taken"


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(in reply to grumpieoldbitch)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 7:05:00 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Tell him you want to marry him. His wife will understand.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 7:14:47 AM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: grumpieoldbitch

Tell him he hits like a 5 year old girl and youve seen bigger cocks on the internet.


Really? This sounds more like "game on" to me.
 
k

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to grumpieoldbitch)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 7:32:34 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		 

a man saying:

I went off my blood pressure meds so that I can get boners for you. (gods, please DON'T!) lol that is mental.

Talks about work, at inappropriate times, just to show off about needless and ridiculous things. (ie: a restraunt air conditioner is broken and he says 'I could (macho stance) fix that chop-chop for them for a fee of $....bla bla).  Restraunt door is crooked, so he stares at it with deep thought on how to go about fixing it. lol ffs, we are CUSTOMERS, eat, drink and shuddup!

"Don't throw away this (disposable) cup, it goes in the dishwasher". *uhhg, it is a plastic beer cup you cheap bastard.

"I don't redecorate in here, I inherited this place from my parents 4 yrs ago and it suits me just fine' (as I look around to see doileys, Royal Doulton in a china cabinet, flowered (pinkkkkk n blue)curtains and toaster cover).  *That was red flag creepy.

Things he does:

lies, endless, endless lies.

sits online constantly, despite saying he owns a business (that doesn't exist).

Sold property to rent property in the same area, all in the name of 'good decision making' lol. *that is lazy and a bad decision. 

uh huh, well, this is all the same one person.  He still is in awe as to why these (and many, many other similar reasons) are
why I found him to be 1. unmanly and 2. weak 3. just plain stupid and cheap.

Oh and worse case ...he actually thinks he is sane too.





(in reply to charmdpetKeira)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 7:57:01 AM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: treehugger42

Oooh, ooh, how about dishonesty PLUS long distance. That did'er in for me.

Also, talking endlessly about all the crazy shit you're going to do to your sub... later... when you have more time... so, how about I give you a few spanks and then you give me a blowjob? Repeat x infinity.


treehugger, you are so right on about long distance and dishonesty!

You have my sympathy re: 'give me a blowjob'.
Good time to kick that type to LaCurb.

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 11/8/2007 7:58:55 AM >

_____________________________

"Fortes fortuna iuvat” Virgil
Fortune favors the strong/bold.

(in reply to treehugger42)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 7:58:53 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chickpea

I’d like your comments on how to have a horribly dissatisfyingly dull inane BDSM relationship. I’m talking about HOW TO MAKE A BDSM [RELATIONSHIP] THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO RIGHT, GO WRONG.


I will avoid cringing too much over the term "BDSM relationship" and instead address what I consider to be the poison of any human union: dishonesty, ineffective or non-existent communication and mistrust.

Between Keeper and slave specifically, I would have to say it is wise for both to maintain the structure of authority around them. One would think this to be obvious, but it is amazing how easily things can erode and fall if not watched and maintained. In this there must be a concerted effort from the Keeper to lead well, and from the servant, to serve well.

We must be willing to aim diligently with a single arrow, rather than hurl a dozen and never hit the target. We must concentrate our energies and live in focused intensity, planning all the way to the end. Divided, we will never rise above the filth of the ordinary; we will only be fooling ourselves.



< Message edited by amayos -- 11/8/2007 8:33:27 AM >

(in reply to chickpea)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 8:07:05 AM   
treehugger42


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Having your dominant tell you, "I just read these great fantasy novels.... and we're going to base our entire lives on them from here on out."


ohhh, lollerskates. I was waiting for someone to say this.
quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

You have my sympathy re: 'give me a blowjob'.
Good time to kick that type to LaCurb.


Heh, that one's been gone awhile... I got the ol' subbie act together *dusts off hands*.

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 8:55:50 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Spending the time two have been gifted to spend with each other focussing on what breaks the relationship apart, rather than on what binds the relationship together.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to treehugger42)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How to Royally Screw Up a BDSM Relationship - 11/8/2007 9:08:36 AM   
hurricane67


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		Give your submissive no clear guidelines. When she/he breaks a "rule" she didn't know existed, berate her savagely, then ignore her for days.

Do not let your partner come to see you, then blame her/him for not "being able" to see you.



(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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