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RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/21/2007 5:01:29 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

. Yes it was a lot more then open marriages and I do not know where you got that quote from. I was refereeing to the one above yours but that is ok you spend to much time on computer Hence at this point am bored on this thread cause it in a bad loop. that is the sad thing with two dimensional thinking (two people can read the same article and take it two different ways) look at the first five post they did it and they got it yep

namaste

I got it from post number 75 on page 4 of this thread, written by sexyred1. Read your own thread.

Post number five on this thread is Tannie

quote:

I'd play with a married man or woman if his wife or her husband was ok with it. If they either didn't know or didn't approve, I would steer clear of that person.

Post number four on this thread is kyraofMists

quote:

I for one feel very blessed that he and Alandra desire to include me in their life and as part of their family even though they are married. Drama would be one of the last adjectives that people who know us would use as a descriptor.

Post number three on this thread is akisha

quote:

I dunno, friends of mine have been doing it successfully for 17 years. Seems to work rather well for alot of people and not so well for others.

Post number two on this thread is KatyLied

quote:

It's not a lie if they are in an open relationship. I mean for real, not just saying they are. If not, then yeah, it's pretty, what's the word I'm looking for ... dishonest.

Post number one of this thread is phedre81

quote:

I personally wouldn't play with someone who was married without their spouse's full knowledge. But I'm sure there are those for whom it isn't a problem, and honestly, I get it...I mean, I've tried for years to ignore this...aspect of myself, with no success. If someone finds themselves married, and still desires to engage in BDSM, though their partner is opposed to it...meh, it's not for me, but I understand not being able to set aside this part of yourself.

None of them are saying that open marriage, where both partners are aware and consenting to what is going on, is a bad thing.

Edited to correct my numbering

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/21/2007 5:30:30 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 101

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/21/2007 5:06:28 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

um not i would say that is untrue But believe what ever those have twisted things into it being about what I think or how I think have no clue and that is fine. I was reflecting what even some of you have put in other threads. Sometimes i wonder if people are to ingrained online to think any other way then. What they read kinda of like the csi episodes it is the the evidence not what we believe that tells the story SO in that lead by example. you bs all you want put u p or shut up lol

What have we twisted?

Your OP was about open marriage. Cheating and lying to a partner are never mentioned. If you meant otherwise your communication skills failed you. You then start talking about cheating and we point out that an open marriage simply is not cheating. Everyone knows about what is going on and is happy with it. You then start talking about communication and mismatched expectations, we point out that these happen in any relationship and are hardly a reason to condem a practice simply because two people lack the skills or patience to communicate effectively.

Since we have twisted things so badly, why don't you spell it out and make it very clear for us...

What is this thread about? Is it about open marriage or cheating? A simple one word answer will do nicely.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 102

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 6:46:02 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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the first part was a comment about the site or threads the second part was the general section if you look at the first five or six post they got it correct It is about commitment marriage open closed all things in how we view those that do those things how it effects us in our partners our choices. our social . had you just stuck to the thread instead of attacking if i have an issue lol things would have just a ok but whatever

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 11/22/2007 6:49:56 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 103

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 7:19:06 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Maybe he doesn't know what 'open marriage' means?

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 104

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 9:59:15 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

the first part was a comment about the site or threads the second part was the general section if you look at the first five or six post they got it correct It is about commitment marriage open closed all things in how we view those that do those things how it effects us in our partners our choices. our social . had you just stuck to the thread instead of attacking if i have an issue lol things would have just a ok but whatever

Did you actually read the posts from the first 5 or 6 posters? Do you understand what an open marriage is?

Open marriages can be as committed as monogamous ones. I know you have issues with that concept but others do not.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 105

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 10:12:56 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Just an observation but......... i have seen latex bring up this thread issue before and he definitely has an unmoveable position which isn't shared by the majority. Aqua and susie, be kind to yourselves and stop beating your heads against a brick wall

.... you went this round before and it went in circles, just like this one is.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 106

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 10:59:09 AM

MsPleasure

Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline

Monogamy is ideal. However, with divorce rates being over 50%. I would rather they be open about whatever they decide to do...it's an individual matter.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 107

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 1:15:15 PM

lauren0221

Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

Monogamy is ideal.

Monogamy may be ideal for you, and is for me as well. Not correct to generalize that it is ideal for everyone - if you read through this thread, it is just not the case.

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Post #: 108

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 1:38:47 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

Monogamy is ideal. However, with divorce rates being over 50%. I would rather they be open about whatever they decide to do...it's an individual matter.

Monogamy is only ideal if all parties agree that it is ideal for them.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to MsPleasure)

Post #: 109

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 3:53:53 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

well this could be in the same boat as swinging

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 11/22/2007 3:59:48 PM >

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 110

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 4:20:25 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I see Married People on here dom subs dommes a lot of open marraiges. for me It just means drama in waiting. How do you feel about people who are lin the lifestyle who want to play out side of marraige and is it kinda of a lie to what they have shrugs

Ok. All of the way back to the OP. Post one, act one, scene one.

How do I feel about people who want to play outside of marriage? (I'm assuming that is the first actual question.) Well, first I'd ask to have the question clarified. The word 'play' is what I'm having difficulty in defining as you asked it the original. Are you talking about sex, bondage, or any other of a myraid of activities that two (or more) people can engage in?

For any and all of the above, I can tell you that personally, the answer for that completly depends on how much openness and honesty they have about it. Personally, I'm a fan of disclosure. I see nothing wrong with the two people involved in a relationship agreeing that activities with others are sanctioned and acceptable. If two people in a healthy relationship can come to the conclusion that they can involve other people in their lives, I have absolutely no issue with it. Now, on the other hand, if your talking about, for example, one spouse sneaking around and doing things without the other spouse's knowledge, sorry, but I'm against that.

Is it kind of a lie to what they have? No. See, what they have might be a beautiful, wonderful thing between two people, but it may not be everything. It would be like you asking Me if My husband means less to Me because I have a submissive. For the record, let Me say that it doesn't. Each of them has a role in My life. They are not interchangable. My husband fills My need for an equal partner. My submissive fills those needs for My BDSM related activities. As much as he loves Me, My husband is not a sub. As much as My boy is owned, he could not love Me as an equal partner. Each of them has a firm place in My life that the other could not fulfill. When it comes to My marriage vow of "forsaking all others", how do you know that, for Me, it doesn't mean that only My husband will ever have that particular place in My life? For that matter, how do you know that the words I said the night I collared My submissive mean any less to affirm his place with Me?

It's completely understandable that those folks who are strictly monogomous don't understand those of us who are poly. Very much the same as the vanilla folks don't understand those of us who are into kink. Each person has to decide what's right for them. Thankfully, most of us have that choice. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I should decide what's right for Me and Mine, just as you should decide what's right for you.

Oh, and I caught that last bit about swinging. I can promise you in My case that it's nothing of the sort. Many of us who are poly don't just jump into a sexual relationship with whomever comes along. We're actually rather committed to the partners We establish ourselves with.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 111

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 4:30:32 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

well this could be in the same boat as swinging

and that would be wrong because?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 112

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 7:53:59 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

Irish Our values are different for me to answer that i would be labeled as judging SO lets just say we are on opposite sides of the planet on that one

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 113

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 7:55:21 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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thanks for answering the post in the way it was ment

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 114

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/22/2007 8:12:13 PM

addisonclarkgirl

Posts: 346
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline

i've been in a relationship (i'm his sub) with a married man for about six years now. He and his wife do have an open marriage, and she knows about me. i can't even begin to describe how wonderful he is to me. i love him tremendously, and i know that he loves me just as much. However, with that being said, sometimes i wonder about that saying, "If he truly loves me, then why isn't he with me?" I get jealous; I feel resentful; I hate her; I hate him; I hate myself.

I've come to this point, however, where I've begun to accept that he's never going to leave his family. I've always KNOWN that, but to accept it, was very hard for me to do. Knowing what I know now, though, I will never put myself in this same position again either.

_____________________________

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set her free...Michelangelo

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(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 115

RE: WOW totally confuzzled - 11/23/2007 4:54:52 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Irish Our values are different for me to answer that i would be labeled as judging SO lets just say we are on opposite sides of the planet on that one

You made the original comment, not me.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 116

RE: WOW totally confused - 11/23/2007 9:27:00 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

I can understand where your coming from. To feel the way you do is normal. I think any other way would be just settling just to get what you want. I see this
type of thing a lot in the lifestyle. People who settle for abusive people, People who play the grass is always greener, People who say i can not have it all so i will settle for what i can get. So with that being said keep in Mind no person ever became rich or ever won the Olympics but just settling. Hard work honesty with your self and those around you leads to greatness...
       I can tell you have a loving heart which rules. Loving subs are magic.
there are a lot of doms dommes even subs who are abusive to loving people. I am not saying he is. But he is not being resposible for helping you to grow. A Dom. Domme needs to be a leader. It is a position of responsiblity. If they are going to have such a title. They Need to get off their domly ass and do the right things.

    I am black in white in a lot of areas in my life and i like it that way. It keeps the crap out. Before I would just be accepting of bad behavoir. It caused a lot of drama and loss of friends and some relationships. Now i do not have those problems.

   So if you want the world to be at your feet. Learn to command your desteny. with curage and wisdom of growth inside. You may take heat and people may be critcle.  But if they love you for who you are and not what they think you should be
Your life will Rock and you will truely grow. In ways you never thought of

(in reply to addisonclarkgirl)

Post #: 117

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