kyakitten
Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004 Status: offline
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Happy Birthday Caitlyn! Sorry I'm late to the party. I agree with you. quote:
ORIGINAL: mercnbeth So you don't believe in the "enabler" concept? Remember that stewardess in the hijacked plane in the 80's who gave the hijackers her credit card to buy fuel in order to prevent murders or crash? She was lauded as a big hero. By the guilty-by-conspiracy/enabler argument, she's a criminal, not a hero. That's why it's all about intent. Maybe the other party in an adulterous relationship is a public servant, generously enabling frail marriages to totter along without running out of gas completely. Sure I'm being a little flip, but the point is one can't generalize. You don't know that party's intent..... Some of these "other women or men" may do everything they can to support a family staying together. In whatever they do, they're working with the information they have which is never and can never be complete. Marriages are complicated, nobody outside can know what goes on inside one. Anyone outside can only base decisions on what they see and are told. This includes both the people who abet a cheater... and the people who don't, but judge. quote:
.....stolen car.... The whole legality/stolen car comparison has no merit here. A marriage is a promise between two people plus a legal affirmation that a technical bond exists. There's no legal requirement for monogamy in a marriage - and there is no explicit or implicit "ownership" clause. (Even if there were, who cares? Most of the people on this board break a law every time they indulge in bondage, S&M, "unnatural" sex, or even unmarried sex in some states.) The other woman (or man) was not party to the couple's original promise. She never made such a promise, nor is she bound to uphold it by law. She has only two considerations valid to the decision: situational ethics and practicality. If given her understanding of the situation, she is doing what she believes to be right, that just leaves practicality. And herein lies the rub. Leaving pathological stalkers aside, giving body or heart to someone when the majority of their heart is elsewhere is a recipe for heartbreak. Ethically I'm well within my moral code to date a married guy. Practically, I'm not into that kind of pain.
< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 9:15:56 PM >
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