quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirl08

I think they are afraid of someone pointing out that they do not live up to the perfect image, which definitely happens. RRafe you called it "emotional BS" and I laughed at that...but at the same time it's hard to deny the pressure to fit those molds. Especially if you're white and middle-class +, by that point we don't have the same problems as less privileged people so we look for new ones, like how to be the perfect Stepford wife ;). I'm somewhat of a perfectionist but for me being a dirty little slavegirl is the perfect way for me to evade all that shit. This way I have to be micro-concentrated on living up to one person's expectations of me, which are a lot more clear than any of the weird ideas we get from vanilla society. But still sometimes that old idea of perfectionism seeps through.

Daddyncherry, I think you are already the perfect combination and should not worry at all ;) totally know what you mean though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

wow, just came in from my evening out and saw what happened to this great thread...sheesh.

RRafe, I for one hope you keep telling it like it is and keep up the hot writing...it is quite refreshing.

laughing my ass off-is there any reason for me to stop?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Anyhow, back to the discussion at hand.

If we need to be self accountable for our actions-does the prince become a useless accesory?

I think to a point if you *need* someone to complete you... then you are more flawed then what they will ever have a chance at fixing. Thus you are an accesory. Likewise with vicea versa. How many women have you seen take on that "weekend project boyfriend"? "He would be perfect only if....." *sighs and smacks her head*   I have said it time and again.... You have to be Ms. Right to find Mr. Right. ( and likewise) If you are a completely battered and screwed up person you could very well miss your chance at that someone wonderful missing you or passing you by because you didnt have yourself in order. Have dominion over yourself first.. be you a Dom/me or a sub/slave. This doesnt mean be perfect.. no one is that.. It simply means know thine self.. and to it be true. Know who you are.. and no matter what that may be.. love yourself. If you dont love yourself who else in the world is going to follow suit?
 
Decorate your own garden and tend to it instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
 
Once you do that they will come along becuase they can not help but be drawn to you. Positive draws positive.
 
People always wonder why they end up dating the same person over and over.. it is because they themselves did not change..


And why does the princess have to be prefect, what is it that she fears?

As women.. and there for Princess complex driven gals... we are told from an early age to care for others first, be perfect.. cook, clean, be pretty, be sexy.. but not sluttish, be a good mother, a good wife, raise a family, care for the house, the husband.. AND hold down a job in as big of a career as our husbands or mates. What we fear is failure.. and seeming selfish. If we take 15 mins to ourselves we are negelcting a child, or our mate, or our job.. and we simply can not do that. Any reason why we women are so high strung?
 
Then you have those of us who simply chose not to fall into all of that and made our own rules telling polite society to bite us on our collective asses.
 
But most women at heart are trained at thier mothers knee to be super women. It is hard to go against. It is in the jeans.
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

wow, just came in from my evening out and saw what happened to this great thread...sheesh.

RRafe, I for one hope you keep telling it like it is and keep up the hot writing...it is quite refreshing.

laughing my ass off-is there any reason for me to stop?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

wow, just came in from my evening out and saw what happened to this great thread...sheesh.

RRafe, I for one hope you keep telling it like it is and keep up the hot writing...it is quite refreshing.

laughing my ass off-is there any reason for me to stop?

LOL, no I knew you you wouldn't, just wanted to be supportive, ya know to a stranger in cyberspace.

May your universes always expand-and never contract into singularites!

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

Wonderfully put Gwyn ..........

It can be a real battle to free someone from that enough to go it the rest of the way on her own.

But it has to be seen-struggled against-first.

In a way, A top only presents themselves to a sub as a mirror..Something in which they can see the reality of who they are-not just the archetype that they have had built in thier minds.

But one thing I have discovered-that mirror has to be pretty calm to reflect clearly. If there is too much activity going on with a selfish agenda-it's like throwing a rock into a still pond. The ripples distort.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

After reading the "Prince Charming "and "Knight in Shining Armour" threads it made me think....and maybe "Ideal princess" isn't the right descpription, but it fit with all the fairy tales...

Soooo how many of you have been "victim"  of trying to live up to the perfect ideal that is shoveled into our heads by the media from childhood on.  Whether that is some fairy tale "princess" or June Cleaver or Donna Reed? Even though your Master/Mistress/Dom/me tries to reassure you that you are just fine the way you are.

i am very guilty of this. Trying to always attain the unattainable perfection and if it isn't totally perfect then it is a failure. i look at my Master/Daddy as a King of the Castle and of our realm and am always trying to do it all perfectly....trying to be the perfect little Suzi Homemaker and total nasty little slut all rolled into one.

my ideal though is much harsher to accomplish than that which he wishes of me...but this just sets up for alot of failure on its own (in my head).

I've heard this concept alot from other sub types and it seems like a very common thing....and yet...it seems  acceptable and like a positive to want to attain this level of perfect for one's "M"...not necessarily wanting to be a Princess in a Shining apron and stillettos..but close....and yet all of the Prince Charming/Knight in Shining Armor stuff seems to be looked down on.

Just something that made me think.
What do ya'll think?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

So yes, I want to live in a fairy tale where two people create a magical relationship that instead of simply "completing each other" we instead create something greater than either of us alone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
So yes, I want to live in a fairy tale where two people create a magical relationship that instead of simply "completing each other" we instead create something greater than either of us alone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd


And why does the princess have to be prefect, what is it that she fears?

As women.. and there for Princess complex driven gals... we are told from an early age to care for others first, be perfect.. cook, clean, be pretty, be sexy.. but not sluttish, be a good mother, a good wife, raise a family, care for the house, the husband.. AND hold down a job in as big of a career as our husbands or mates. What we fear is failure.. and seeming selfish. If we take 15 mins to ourselves we are negelcting a child, or our mate, or our job.. and we simply can not do that. Any reason why we women are so high strung?
 
Then you have those of us who simply chose not to fall into all of that and made our own rules telling polite society to bite us on our collective asses.
 
But most women at heart are trained at thier mothers knee to be super women. It is hard to go against. It is in the jeans. 
 

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

The word princess in the OP was not meant to be like a pristine little princess character who is up on a throne somewhere. Just clarifying.

Still and all it confuses me. Which areas are okay to not worry about? Which ones are okay to worry about? When does it become slimply slacking off and not doing your best?

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Still and all it confuses me. Which areas are okay to not worry about? Which ones are okay to worry about? When does it become slimply slacking off and not doing your best?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

Still and all it confuses me. Which areas are okay to not worry about? Which ones are okay to worry about? When does it become slimply slacking off and not doing your best?

Ask your dominant/master... listen to him and be aware of his concerns.  If you have one, then go to him and ask - voice them.  If they are important, then he will tell you.  If they aren't he will tell you.
Then you obey.
 
the.dark.