quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry


This is part of my biggest struggle with this.

The ability to see myself through HIS eyes...to love me in the way that he sees me, flaws and all. And not in spite of them, but because of them.

Learning how to live up to realistic expectations and his wishes rather than some idealized version that i have in my head. That version will never be enough, she is unattainable...if i were to get to my idea of perfection, the one that i hold NOW...when i got there, she would need improving too...it would be an endless cycle.

Still and all it confuses me. Which areas are okay to not worry about? Which ones are okay to worry about? When does it become slimply slacking off and not doing your best?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry


This is part of my biggest struggle with this.

The ability to see myself through HIS eyes...to love me in the way that he sees me, flaws and all. And not in spite of them, but because of them.

Learning how to live up to realistic expectations and his wishes rather than some idealized version that i have in my head. That version will never be enough, she is unattainable...if i were to get to my idea of perfection, the one that i hold NOW...when i got there, she would need improving too...it would be an endless cycle.

Still and all it confuses me. Which areas are okay to not worry about? Which ones are okay to worry about? When does it become slimply slacking off and not doing your best?

Look for it in the eyes.

Feel it in the energy-and forget about what everyone else thinks about you-he isn't them.

And you will insult him by behaving as if he is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RRafe

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry


This is part of my biggest struggle with this.

The ability to see myself through HIS eyes...to love me in the way that he sees me, flaws and all. And not in spite of them, but because of them.

Learning how to live up to realistic expectations and his wishes rather than some idealized version that i have in my head. That version will never be enough, she is unattainable...if i were to get to my idea of perfection, the one that i hold NOW...when i got there, she would need improving too...it would be an endless cycle.

Still and all it confuses me. Which areas are okay to not worry about? Which ones are okay to worry about? When does it become slimply slacking off and not doing your best?

Look for it in the eyes.

Feel it in the energy-and forget about what everyone else thinks about you-he isn't them.

And you will insult him by behaving as if he is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kellendra

Cherry.....we are own worst critics and really it our flaws that make us who we are.
I have come to realise that regardless of how tall, thin, beautiful, whatever you are there will always be someone that little bit taller, thinner, younger, yadda yadda....so all you can do is be the best YOU there is.... Because that is a truly great thing.

It can be an endless cycle.....but you (we as women) also allow yourself (ourselves) to remain stuck on it.
Not that I can talk myself.....but I am learning....it is a bloody slow process.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Hi cherry.

quote:

Ahhh if it were only so easy. There are alot of conflicting things...or things that he just doesn't care about. Things he says that i misunderstand...it is all confusing.

He is also not so easy to talk with...and he is generally a very laid back, non-plussed (his word) kind of guy....He also throws things out there for me to learn...and then leaves me to do that on my own.

I understand the whole thing about being laid back.  I am queen bee of worry - Darcy is laid back and deals with things alot more constructively.  And it's due to him that I am improving my skills in dealing - learning from him - which is essentially leaving me to learn on my own - yet being there at the same time (if that makes any sense).  It totally rocks - but at the same time I still struggle.

What i mean with him and laid back and non-plussed is that he doesn't react alot (which in some ways is great) which always leaves me wondering if it was good or not.
 
I did see on the other thread someone advising you to leave him.  I personally think that is the wrong advice and you seem pretty much on the right path together.(Of course, that's only due to what you have written so it's only an assumption).  I know what I wrote just before, isn't easy - but it's alot about learning about and understanding your own worth - (not sure if I make any sense here) - there will always be in the back of the mind the possibility that what we do/are isn't good enough, that there is a better way to do something etc... but end of the day - he would tell you the problems if there was (in his mind) a real problem... and he is with you and owns you - not anyone else - so you must be on the right track for him. It's so easy to get stuck in the yuck, it's how you deal getting out of it that counts... and that's one thing he can't do for you.(But I believe you already know that - ach - I am rambling)
From your posts hey, you pretty much groovegood.

i try to be proactive and to do the things the best for him....and even though he may be pleased i have to go with the whole "If he doesn't say it's bad, then he approves" thing since he is of few words....So that is how i know if i am on the right track or not. In the process i am doing my typical over acheiver thing and trying to make it the best i can.
i love the part in your post that i bolded out....very wise.
 
the.dark.