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"Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 2:27:56 PM   
DomInMinn


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have had personal experience with two female submissives who were "under consideration".  One is now a trusted friend and the other is now my wife.  With both of them the expression I most often used with them was "get the fence post out of your ass."  They both were "under consideration" by Doms who in my opinion were merely jerking them along; and they were under this consideration for long periods of times (read that "many" months).  There were lots of mystery about the details of the lives and backgrounds  of these "considering" Doms.  It seemed to me that these Doms were likely married or in some other way involved/committed.  Couldn't have their phone number, nope.  Could only contact them at certain times.  And there were a plethora of excuses and conditions from these Doms who wanted them so.  So for those who are "under consideration", are you sure about those who hold you in limbo?  Anyone ever experience what I've described?  I'd love to open this dialog and read your comments.
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 2:32:07 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Many have experienced what you, OP, described both "under consideration" and not.  What you describe is just being in a dead-end relationship, if it's a relationship at all.

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I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to DomInMinn)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 2:37:14 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		Been shared before, this will be interesting.  I don't think that "most" submissives thinks being "under consideration" a farce, but I do think that that "most" Doms that require submissives that they are interested in to put it on their profile are pissing on the tree.

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"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 2:37:41 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I've seen it happen both ways here and elsewhere... some subs were being led on, some had the relationship actually go somewhere.

As with everything else in this world, it depends on the people involved

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to DomInMinn)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 2:43:25 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		well if the sub that is being considered has yet to meet this Dom..........yeah then I would think it was a farce.  Something else to think about tho........I have heard of some ladies saying they are "under consideration" to protect themselves, which I can understand, but a predator isn't going to care about that.

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 2:43:28 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I agree with the responces  thus far , but i might add i do not personaly like velrco on a collar .though the large velcro straps at DomDepot are great .

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 3:03:28 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Works both ways.  I've had girls I was corresponding with express interest in being considered, and indicated so on their profile; yet had no real desire to give their phone number, meet, etc.  There are male, female, submissive, switch, dominant, kinky, and vanilla wankers of all persuasions.

Most often, though, I've found women put 'under consideration' as a means of warding off unwanted attention, so they could focus their efforts on men more to their liking.  I've written several girls respectful letters, saying I liked something they wrote only to have them say "Oh, no, I'm not involved with anyone I just have that in my profile."

To boot, my current slave had "currently in training with a couple" on her profile.  I met her at the tail end of their relationship; had I written to come on to her strong, I doubt she'd have given me another thought.  It just goes to show that in order to establish relationships here, it's best to start with friendship (especially here on the forums.)

Stephan


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Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 3:11:49 PM   
SugarMyChurro


Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
Status: offline 		This matter isn't anyone else's business. But a reality check is always healthy - no problem there.

To the OP: Keep in mind that your opinion doesn't really matter to anyone but yourself. Others need to do things in their own way.

(in reply to Stephann)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 3:21:50 PM   
Vanatru


Posts: 300
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		I'd think that would be the way with the best chance of lasting long-term. Seems to work that way when you start person-to-person as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

...  It just goes to show that in order to establish relationships here, it's best to start with friendship (especially here on the forums.)

Stephan


(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 3:37:23 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have always considered people "under consideration" to be well worth stearing clear of, sort of the "slowly back away and make no sudden movement" sort...

(in reply to Vanatru)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 3:50:03 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I have always considered people "under consideration" to be well worth stearing clear of, sort of the "slowly back away and make no sudden movement" sort...


You're confused......it's the ones that are "under observation" that tend to bite.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 3:54:56 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

This matter isn't anyone else's business. But a reality check is always healthy - no problem there.

To the OP: Keep in mind that your opinion doesn't really matter to anyone but yourself. Others need to do things in their own way.




Lol. Why even type this? What a waste of an hour.

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 4:01:49 PM   
SubmissiveGael


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		I was under consideration by a Domme who, after some time, revealed that there were others under consideration also. I was gutted, but requested that she clarify if we were to be friends or to decide should we be something more. She let me down because she didn't decide when I was emotionally equipped to take the fall. She led me on, kept me hoping for something that was never going to be, and met with, and accepted one of the others without giving me a chance. In hind sight, I should have run when I heard about the others, but I liked her a lot and wanted to believe she was a descent and honest person who would not willingly hurt me. She really did, and all the more because she did not cut me loose early on. 

I won't make this mistake again. As the old Irish proverb goes:

Hurt me once, shame on you.
Hurt me twice, shame on me. 

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 4:04:49 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline




Ok, this is something I don’t understand; when a Dom says that he/she is putting a collar of consideration on you... I mean really, what does that mean??  You can’t talk to another Doms while the first one decides whether or not they want you or are they waiting to see if someone else better comes along..

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~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 4:09:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_1015458/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#1015553
"Under Consideration"

http://www.collarchat.com/m_570779/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#570947
"Under Consideration" what does it mean to you?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_437842/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#437958
Putting under consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_297748/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#297748
collaring levels

http://www.collarchat.com/m_293199/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#293199
some slaves have no

http://www.collarchat.com/m_249659/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#249659
"Under Consideration"???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_167264/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#167264
Under Consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_167264/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#167264
taking someone under consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_136495/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#136495
under consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_86003/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#86003
different "stages"/different treatment?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DomInMinn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 4:12:04 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomInMinn

I have had personal experience with two female submissives who were "under consideration".  One is now a trusted friend and the other is now my wife.  With both of them the expression I most often used with them was "get the fence post out of your ass."  They both were "under consideration" by Doms who in my opinion were merely jerking them along; and they were under this consideration for long periods of times (read that "many" months).  There were lots of mystery about the details of the lives and backgrounds  of these "considering" Doms.  It seemed to me that these Doms were likely married or in some other way involved/committed.  Couldn't have their phone number, nope.  Could only contact them at certain times.  And there were a plethora of excuses and conditions from these Doms who wanted them so.  So for those who are "under consideration", are you sure about those who hold you in limbo?  Anyone ever experience what I've described?  I'd love to open this dialog and read your comments.

So, according to you...both your friend AND your wife...were umm...what's a nice way to put this....both were umm .... naive  enough to hang on for MONTHS with men who placed them under consideration?

Hmmm

Ok

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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 4:12:34 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Both my boys were under consideration before I collared them. Fox for a far shorter time than Angel. My personal reasoning was that both of them were beginners, Angel was long distance, Fox is local.  I didnt want to commit them to a realtionship that was doomed to fail, so I put them under consideration while they learned a bit more about what they were getting themselves into. Once they learned what I expected, and were sure they were ready for it, they were kept.

For some, being under consideration is just biding their time until they can meet or be closer to their partner. Some get a kick out or being part of a couple, even if its not a serious thing. And some use it as a lure, hoping for the ones who like a "challenge" to try and conicne them to leave whomever they are with for them.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 5:11:24 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

Ok, this is something I don’t understand; when a Dom says that he/she is putting a collar of consideration on you... I mean really, what does that mean??  You can’t talk to another Doms while the first one decides whether or not they want you or are they waiting to see if someone else better comes along..


Let me translate for you:

After years of women not even noticing I exist, I find a place where women want me and so I go hog wild.  Not wanting to get tied down to one, I put collars of consideration on them so I can fuck tons of them and have to do almost nothing to do so.

In the vanilla world, guys either whisper, "I love you" or "I will respect you in the morning", it is pretty much the same thing.

Of course, there are a few legitimate people who do this but they are few and far between.

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
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RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 5:17:43 PM   
Machts


Posts: 96
Status: offline 		Why buy the cow-when you can have the milk for free?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: "Under Consideration" Are most a farce? - 11/28/2007 5:18:40 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		This is an interesting conversation to me....Mostly because after reading and responding to a submissive's thread on here earlier this week my Sir and i had an in depth conversation about my shame/guilt/remorse regarding the things i've done, indulged in, or been subjected to...This is, sadly one of those things i was referring to...i'm not sure if i was just stupid enough or desperate enough but apparently i was (in the past) a pretty easy mark...Fortunately for me things have changed.....
Kali

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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