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Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 8:50:02 AM   
honeybunch06


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		Do any of you other submissives find it offensive when a 'dominant' (in quotations because there is some doubt about some who label themselves such) IMs you and question number three is "what is your boob size"?  and...question number four is "do you have large nipples"?
To me..that is very offensive and shows me that this guy is only interested in using my body...and, therefore, in my opinion, is not really a dominant man.  Am i wrong about this?  Am i too quick to judge?  i usually do not continue the conversation with him after this and leave the entire experience a bit hesitant to even answer IMs! 
There is so much more to this than the physical aspect and when he begins the conversation with nothing but physical questions..i am immediately wary.  Does anyone else have this problem?  Is anyone else offended by such questions so quickly in the conversation?  And, if so, how do you respond to him?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 8:52:22 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		do you actually have to ask? [no offense]

(in reply to honeybunch06)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 8:56:11 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		*laughs*

Nooooo, I don't find it offensive. I do find it hilarious that they think it's something they should know because they are the "dominant" LOLOL!!


silly boys.......and that IS what they are when asking stupid shit like that. *smirks*

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 8:58:26 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		HNG's in action. Answer them or not, like them or not, they'll keep hitting your inbox like acid rain. Politely decline, ignore and block, or have fun and provoke them (i.e. "Yeah, I have big nipples. They're as long as my fingers and as big around as my face.") Whatever you do, get comfy because it tends to happen frequently.

(in reply to MissyRane)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:00:13 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Do any of you other submissives find it offensive when a 'dominant' (in quotations because there is some doubt about some who label themselves such) IMs you and question number three is "what is your boob size"?  and...question number four is "do you have large nipples"?

Do I find it offensive? No
Do I find that it lacks maturity? Absolutly.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to honeybunch06)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:00:21 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		I just want to add as a switch, I get this. I’ve also gotten this on a vanilla dating site, along with “r u horny?” I just makes me sit there and go does this ever work?

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:02:19 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Not offended.
How to respond?  You don't.
 
Unless it's Ron, then flashing them is the golden rule.
.ohyes.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:02:29 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I did not find it offensive. I found it humorous. There are some people that get off on such things... and to them it would be appropriate. I filed it away under "Do not care". And just because a dominant isn't right for you does not mean they are not in fact a dominant. Dominants are like everyone else... some have large egos, some lie, some womanize, some are assholes, some are nice guys, some are honorable. The term "dominant" basically means they seek encounters with people that will allow them to control and dominate them.. all the other tags of "a real dominant acts this way" do not make sense to me. I have no knowledge of what these one handed typists do in their lives. They very well could be into dominating consenting folks... if you do not consent, just block em and move on.

I do not enjoy the emails that say things like "I want to fuck you, slut" but I know that this is a site that revolves around kinky sex, and having a profile up here will give some people the idea that I am open to fulfill their fantasies..... if I had that big of a problem with it, I would take my profile down.. especially if I was offended.

On the lighter side, there was a time or two I responded to such pigs and joked around with them for a few emails out of intellectual curiousity... and one of them wrote the first email because he thought that submissives dug that shit... so you just never know,




_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to honeybunch06)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:05:45 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		The answers to those questions....

1. What is your boob size?
    A. Which one, the right or the left?
2. Do you have large nipples?
    A. I have two small ones on the right (it's hard to see one of them though and you have to part the hair to find it) and one giant one on the left.

You probably won't get anymore emails from the guy.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to honeybunch06)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:08:32 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Unless it's Ron, then flashing them is the golden rule.
.ohyes.

LOL yes, Ron would be flashing material

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:09:35 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

The answers to those questions....

1. What is your boob size?
   A. Which one, the right or the left?
2. Do you have large nipples?
   A. I have two small ones on the right (it's hard to see one of them though and you have to part the hair to find it) and one giant one on the left.

You probably won't get anymore emails from the guy.

LOL

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:09:52 AM   
forg0ttenclone


Posts: 62
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		<laughs and mocks> Oh yes, i totally hate when Dominants ask how big my boobs are.  I find it soooo offensive... then they have the nerve to ask about the size of my nipples. How rude!  </end mocking>

Ok. So i couldn't resist responding and laughing.  But why get offended when you can have sooooo much fun at their expense?  But that's just me and my ability to be entertained easily.


_____________________________

Pete


"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

(in reply to honeybunch06)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:10:56 AM   
honeybunch06


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		Great advice, folks.  Thanks for the responses.
mistoferin....i will certainly keep those responses in mind...they are great!  Thanks for sharing them!!

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:14:55 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

The answers to those questions....

1. What is your boob size?
   A. Which one, the right or the left?
2. Do you have large nipples?
   A. I have two small ones on the right (it's hard to see one of them though and you have to part the hair to find it) and one giant one on the left.

You probably won't get anymore emails from the guy.

I will ask if I can screw with someone's head like that if they email me stupid ass questions... that is so funny!


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:20:57 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This is not only a submissive problem. I have gotten these questions from Doms and subs...
I dont find it offensive, I do find it funny. It is amazing the difference in what people consider "acceptable". If someone asked you that in a bar... how would you respond?

I have a few answers, when they ask and instead of pulling the indignation card, I feel like playing with them.

How big are your boobs? About as big as the bra I keep them in, give or take
Do you have big nipples? You might never find out if this is what you consider to be appropriate first contact.

That usually gets the point across.

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to honeybunch06)
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RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:22:55 AM   
txnights05


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: honeybunch06

i usually do not continue the conversation with him after this and leave the entire experience a bit hesitant to even answer IMs! 
There is so much more to this than the physical aspect and when he begins the conversation with nothing but physical questions..i am immediately wary.  Does anyone else have this problem?  Is anyone else offended by such questions so quickly in the conversation?  And, if so, how do you respond to him?


here are two recieved yesterday...
"NICE tits" and
"Excellent tits... show me more"
i hate these kinds of emails and am never sure if i should just ignore them, send a simple thank you or what.... i do not like to be rude but these kinds of emails do not deserve any kind of respect as far as i am concerned. i think the kind of response, if any, they get depends on what kind of mood i am in. i have asked some if this is how they would greet a woman in real life but i haven't gotten a response to that question yet... lol



(in reply to honeybunch06)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 9:32:22 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: honeybunch06
Is anyone else offended by such questions so quickly in the conversation?  And, if so, how do you respond to him?


Oh hell, I get this crap and I'm not even a submissive.  Rude, horny jerks with no social skills deserve to be treated as such.  A reply to the effect of, "Does your Mommy know you're using her AOL account?" would probably be appropriate.

A "dominant" who is not even in enough control of himself to have developed basic social skills and maturity is not a dominant and is not even an adult.   He (or she, there's some female offenders out there too) does not deserve your time or energy.  Whiny brats who cry for instant gratification but aren't willing to put in any effort to get it (or to keep it once they've got it) deserve a swift kick in the tuchkus and a whack over the head with a giant clue-by-four, but ignore/block/delete works fine too.


< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 11/30/2007 9:34:13 AM >

(in reply to honeybunch06)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 10:15:32 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		Men do this on vanilla sights too.  I think that it's the medium, if the man were to meet you in person he'd have already sized up your physical potential and he'd not have to ask and so he moves straight into the personality phase.

I don't mind because it's a personal preference-- just like I have to have a picture to make sure that he meets my personal preferences (though it is tempting to ask for a description of his endowments)

quote:

ORIGINAL: honeybunch06

Do any of you other submissives find it offensive when a 'dominant' (in quotations because there is some doubt about some who label themselves such) IMs you and question number three is "what is your boob size"?  and...question number four is "do you have large nipples"?
To me..that is very offensive and shows me that this guy is only interested in using my body...and, therefore, in my opinion, is not really a dominant man.  Am i wrong about this?  Am i too quick to judge?  i usually do not continue the conversation with him after this and leave the entire experience a bit hesitant to even answer IMs! 
There is so much more to this than the physical aspect and when he begins the conversation with nothing but physical questions..i am immediately wary.  Does anyone else have this problem?  Is anyone else offended by such questions so quickly in the conversation?  And, if so, how do you respond to him?

(in reply to honeybunch06)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 10:27:18 AM   
frm14slv


Posts: 16
Joined: 10/22/2004
Status: offline 		One would think that reward and punishment would play itself out. If he is told enough times to go away or even blocked (punished) for asking such silly questions, he ought to conclude that he needs to ask different questions. When he begins asking questions that she not only wants to answer, but piques her interest to stay in touch, he gets rewarded with her further attention.

_____________________________

Master R

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Anyone find it offensive.... - 11/30/2007 10:48:14 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: honeybunch06

Do any of you other submissives find it offensive when a 'dominant' (in quotations because there is some doubt about some who label themselves such) IMs you and question number three is "what is your boob size"?  and...question number four is "do you have large nipples"?
To me..that is very offensive and shows me that this guy is only interested in using my body...and, therefore, in my opinion, is not really a dominant man.  Am i wrong about this?  Am i too quick to judge?  i usually do not continue the conversation with him after this and leave the entire experience a bit hesitant to even answer IMs! 
There is so much more to this than the physical aspect and when he begins the conversation with nothing but physical questions..i am immediately wary.  Does anyone else have this problem?  Is anyone else offended by such questions so quickly in the conversation?  And, if so, how do you respond to him?


Hey, don't feel bad, this person is contacting more than just you like this and more than just subs.  ;)

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to honeybunch06)
Profile   Post #: 20
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