RE: Ruin A Wish (Full Version)

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LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 11:18:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
<snipped - something about vanilla. LOL!>
I wish I had a cappuccino!

A friend who comes over to visit bring you a cappuccino and the the two of you decide to go outside and enjoy your beverages. As you are sitting outside enjoying the cappuccino and conversation, a large bird flies overhead and his droppings land right inside your cup.

I wish the new orange and white cat that has been sitting in my yard every day would let me pet him or her.

Granted.  After three pats / strokes, his or her temperment turns UHHHhhhhgly.  The scratches and bites are so serious, you have to go to the hospital.  Tests for rabies are positive and the Animal Officers want to get the cat for destruction.  Of course, it has disappeared.  The rabies shots are about the most painful thing you can imagine, but it's worse.... the orderly that shaves you is..... you guessed it !  Bubba -who takes great glee and is way over the limit on appropiate behavior. You report him, he's fired and so we really don't know what his next job is, do we?

P.S.  The scars on your face cost thousands of dollars of cosmetic surgery - which is NOT covered by your insurance.

I wish for a male slave that smells of almonds.  (Thanks, RS, vanilla is one of my favorite aromas - 2nd only to almond. LOL!)



LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 11:27:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

(lmao - The entire state of Florida is the equivalent of a bird sanctuary. That happens quite often.)

Granted - The cat lays at your feet and lets you pet it. Unfortunately you get a rare fungus infection and all your fingernails fall off.

As I look out over the lake (big pond) I can see herons and egrets hunting the water's edge, a muscovy duck is swimming along, a cormorant is drying its wings in the tree right in my back yard and there is a flock of turkey vultures circling in the distance. That doesn't include the dozens of sparrows, finches, black birds and brown birds in all the trees that line the lake. All in all, that is a lot of bird shit and one of these fuckers shit on my car this week.

All these birds are real pretty and I live in natural paradise, but I wish all these damn birds would stop shitting on my car!

Granted.  Your car is hit by a meterorite and is driven <get it? "driven" - car is driven....? Never mind.> ..... and  is driven far underground at a sharp angle.  The tunnel created collapses on itself, so the interested scientic community has your house bulldozed so they can research the meteorite. (See start of "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy" from which you had a quote as your avatar for a while.)

I wish for a male slave that smells of almonds. LOL!



ryansalone -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 11:35:03 AM)

I wish I could eat anything and still weigh 180



LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 11:42:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ryansalone
I wish I could eat anything and still weigh 180

OOPS! Ryan's alone;
Please read the OP (original post.) There you will find that you're supposed to grant (and then ruin) the wish above you.  Then you make your wish.  Thus:

* poof * but your "eat anything" part of your wish makes your metabolisim change. Now "anything" you eat makes your pores ooze a vanilla scent... oh, wait, almond scent..... nope.  The change in your metabolism makes your pores ooze a disgusting blue pus with the odor of dead fish.

I wish for a male slave that smells of almonds. (Does "third time's the charm" apply?) LOL!



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 1:23:23 PM)

Granted. You find that elusive male slave that smells of almonds. That's because he profusely uses a product called "Jafra Almond Oil" that smells delightful (yeah, I had a Jafra party in my house one time and smelled it.) Not only does he use that product, he uses at least 50 other oils, lotions, and cosmetics on a daily basis. He begins ignoring you because he wants to spend more and more time in the bathrooom taking scented bubble baths, rubbing the Jafra Almond Oil all over himself, styling his hair, giving himself facials, etc. You decide he's so into himself, he's totally useless as a slave and kick his ass to the curb, even though you did like the way he smelled.

I wish I had new wall paper in the master bathroom and kitchen.




FullCircle -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 1:36:23 PM)

Granted each room now has a single roll of wall paper in lairy new colours.

I wish I could time travel back in time and invent plastic forks before they were thought about.



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 5:28:30 PM)

Granted. You have travelled back in time to when before plastic forks were thought about, and invent them. However, you do not register or patent your invention, so no one knows about it. Then, the person who was credited with inventing them comes along, patents them, and gets full credit and patent rights.

I wish someone would invent a zero-calorie cheeseburger.





DaNewAgeViking -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 6:12:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

Granted. You have travelled back in time to when before plastic forks were thought about, and invent them. However, you do not register or patent your invention, so no one knows about it. Then, the person who was credited with inventing them comes along, patents them, and gets full credit and patent rights.

I wish someone would invent a zero-calorie cheeseburger.


Granted: Your favorite burger joint decides to combat the obesity epidemic by mixing paragoric in the meat: you enjoy 'em, then barf 'em up again - no calories absorbed.
[sm=eeew.gif]
I wish I won that $640 million Lotto



LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 9:18:41 PM)

* granted * But by a strange fluke - there's not just three winners, but 320 thousand winners making your ticket worth $ 2,000 (before taxes)  A riot ensues and all Lotto / Lottery offices are burned to the ground.

I wish for a trip back to the country of my Peace Corps Service - I left there 40 years ago this month!













DaNewAgeViking -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/13/2012 10:54:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

* granted * But by a strange fluke - there's not just three winners, but 320 thousand winners making your ticket worth $ 2,000 (before taxes)  A riot ensues and all Lotto / Lottery offices are burned to the ground.

I wish for a trip back to the country of my Peace Corps Service - I left there 40 years ago this month!

Granted: only the island was destroyed by a massive volcanic eruption, so you are now 5000 feet under water!
[sm=dunno.gif]
I wish I could finally get my apartment really cleaned up.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 6:01:42 AM)

Granted - Burglars strike while you are away and "really clean out your apartment".





I wish I had mermaid slaves living in my pool so I didn't have to clean it, they would.

[img]http://studiocut.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/onstrangertides_pinoys03.jpg[/img]



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 5:59:18 PM)

The mermaid slaves do keep your pool clean, that's for sure. The one thing you didn't know about the mermaid creatures is that they are nocturnal, and make hideous shrieking noises all night long. You weigh your desire for a clean pool against your desire for a good night's sleep and the latter wins out.

I wish I had a hot fudge sundae right now.





LookieNoNookie -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 6:47:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

Granted each room now has a single roll of wall paper in lairy new colours.

I wish I could time travel back in time and invent plastic forks before they were thought about.


I actually did that and I now own Rhode Island.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 6:48:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

Granted. You have travelled back in time to when before plastic forks were thought about, and invent them. However, you do not register or patent your invention, so no one knows about it. Then, the person who was credited with inventing them comes along, patents them, and gets full credit and patent rights.

I wish someone would invent a zero-calorie cheeseburger.



Interesting that you mention that....it's been done.

It's called paper.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 6:49:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Granted - Burglars strike while you are away and "really clean out your apartment".

I wish I had mermaid slaves living in my pool so I didn't have to clean it, they would.

[img]http://studiocut.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/onstrangertides_pinoys03.jpg[/img]



I'll stop voting now because this is the obvious and ultimate wish.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 7:22:24 PM)

quote:

I wish I had a hot fudge sundae right now.


Granted - It is the perfect time of the evening for a snack when your doorbell rings and low and behold, there is a submissive young man proffering you a delicious hot fudge Sunday made with the world famous Sanders Hot Fudge.

[img]http://cousino1970.com/clients/877187/3627522_org.jpg[/img][img]http://www.sanderscandy.com/v/vspfiles/photos/15376-P-2T.jpg[/img]

Not only is it a Sanders Hot Fudge but it also the most incredibly delicious Sanders Ice Cream all served up in the the famous Detroit Sanders ice cream parlor style hot fudge Sunday on a cream puff. It looks so good you are memorized and reach for it automatically . . . It isn't until you hear him ask where the bath tub is as he hops by that you notice the young male slave has been standing up balanced on a tail. Before you finish swallowing the first bite, you hear the water running and the nocturnal merman screeches begin to echo through your house. Enjoy that Sunday! I hope you have ear plugs and thanks again for the yard full of noisy mermaids.

[img]http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/11900000/Vampire-Merman-from-Forks-critical-analysis-of-twilight-11952467-300-300.jpg[/img]





I wish I had a really unique car like the Bertone BAT 11.

[img]http://www.carbodydesign.com/archive/2009/01/28-bertone-bat-11-dk/Bertone-BAT-11-DK-Concept-02.jpg[/img]




LadyPact -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 7:26:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

I wish I had a hot fudge sundae right now.


Granted - It is the perfect time of the evening for a snack when your doorbell rings and low and behold, there is a submissive young man proffering you a delicious hot fudge Sunday made with the world famous Sanders Hot Fudge.

[image]http://cousino1970.com/clients/877187/3627522_org.jpg[/image][image]http://www.sanderscandy.com/v/vspfiles/photos/15376-P-2T.jpg[/image]


[image]http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/11900000/Vampire-Merman-from-Forks-critical-analysis-of-twilight-11952467-300-300.jpg[/image]





I wish I had a really unique car like the Bertone BAT 11.

[image]http://www.carbodydesign.com/archive/2009/01/28-bertone-bat-11-dk/Bertone-BAT-11-DK-Concept-02.jpg[/image]



Looking for the downside here and can't find it.  [;)]



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 7:38:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

I wish I had a hot fudge sundae right now.

Granted - It is the perfect time ...

Looking for the downside here and can't find it.  [;)]

She cursed me with a pool full of screeching mermaids in an earlier wish. I figured the nocturnal merman screeches echo through her house was fair turnabout.



I still wish I had a really unique car like the Bertone BAT 11.

[img]http://www.carbodydesign.com/archive/2009/01/28-bertone-bat-11-dk/Bertone-BAT-11-DK-Concept-02.jpg[/img]




LadyPact -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 8:24:03 PM)

Better put it on order from Detroit, RS.  I will visit FL again someday, I assure you.  [;)]



LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/14/2012 9:29:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

I wish I had a hot fudge sundae right now.

Granted - It is the perfect time ...

Looking for the downside here and can't find it.  [;)]

She cursed me with a pool full of screeching mermaids in an earlier wish. I figured the nocturnal merman screeches echo through her house was fair turnabout.







I still wish I had a really unique car like the Bertone BAT 11.

[image]http://www.carbodydesign.com/archive/2009/01/28-bertone-bat-11-dk/Bertone-BAT-11-DK-Concept-02.jpg[/image]



GRANTED - but the unique nature of that car extends to the parts, method of manufature, and so on.  Your unique car soon developes some unique problems that no one seems to be able to solve.

"Maybe we need to try Chinese measurments instead of English or metric," says one of the mechanics that have been brought in to figure why your "unique" car won't move.  Another  says, "If those gawd-damn mermaids would shut-up for just one minute, I might be able to think."

But the worst part seems to be the fact that the unique finish on the cat is strangley attractive to all manner of birds and they cover the "uniue" car with a "unique" blend of bird-shit.  They continue until it's almost covered and the mechanics leave with bandanas over their mouths and noses.
------------------------
I wish that the cat I wished dead above would come alive and clear my house of mice.  I thought mice come in for the winter, not the summer.  What's up with that?



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