RE: Ruin A Wish (Full Version)

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SoulAlloy -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/29/2012 11:07:00 PM)

Granted! A is now always greater than the sum of B and C... Unfortunately now you have to work out D with no frame of reference bar trial and error...

I wish ResidentSadist was a hot red-headed domme :p



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/30/2012 1:23:46 PM)

Granted RS is now a stunning redhead. S/he is also the most horrific sadistic serial killer to ever be noted in the crimal history of mankind. What S/he does to you makes Vlad Tepes seem like a kid on a playground playing with dolls.

I wish...hmm.. that the liveins promotion didn't mean he will be home even less now. I'm really bored.



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/30/2012 3:06:25 PM)

Granted the live-in is now home more. But it's because they cut the hours and salary, now you have to move to a smaller place that's more affordable but it's a dump.

I wish I could get my new cell to connect to my laptop so I could download my music. The cell and the laptop are about to go through the window, I'm leaving it alone now. [>:]



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/30/2012 3:57:05 PM)

Granted - You see an ad for a Galaxy 900 and it only costs $99 to start the contract. Unfortunately, you didn't notice that price of the phone was really $699, rolled into monthly payments over three years with interest and it will cost you over $1,100 by the time you pay it off. The contract in binding, has high penalties for buy out and allows a 'floating" monthly fee for the unlimited access that can increase "without cause" at will . . . and it does increase, a lot. Now you can joyfully listen to all your music on the way to the poorhouse.





I wish all the cell phones would break so there are no more impersonal text messages where you can't hear the inflection behind the words, idiots trying to drive and dial or text at the same time, interruptions while you give the person you are speaking with in person your complete focus but they get an important call on the cell and leave you hanging mid sentence and spam where some asshole mails you a fucking joke or chain letter or a link to yet another video of a dumb-ass cat falling off something. I hate cell phones, ain't putting no electronic leash on me!



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Ruin A Wish (5/30/2012 10:20:57 PM)

Granted, all cells are now dead. Save for the very few that are so a major part of the person they belong to that they keep working as long as that person remains alive. The phones are also now such a part of those people that they give the person being msged an image of the senders face when they text. The phone being able to know what the sender is thinking also takes it upon it's self to add to the end ever msg what the sender was REALLY thinking when they sent the text. Thus leading to an all out war over people lieing while texting, because now everyone knows when they do it, and in the end the destuction of about 3/4 of all man kind.

*I hate cell phones too*

I'm starting to wish Denver was just a little closer to Kansas.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/2/2012 11:26:33 PM)

Granted - Civil war breaks out and in the aftermath of the great Battle Between East and West, the Denver Liberation Army renames the State of Colorado after itself. Now it's called the state of Denver, which touches Kansas. Close enough? However, the battle was resolved by dividing the country into Western USA and Eastern USA and they built a wall like in Berlin. Unfortunately for you, the west didn't far well and their is now a wall between Kansas and Denver with armed guards and no one is getting through for a few years until all the new visa and passport details are worked out.


I wish I had some soup.



SoulAlloy -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 4:32:34 AM)

Granted! You now have a bowl of monkey and llama penis soup and no spoon...

I wish I was home with an ice cold beer



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 12:20:55 PM)

Granted. You are at home relaxing with an ice cold beer. HOWEVER, suddenly your door is busted in, the police barge in, guns drawn, and ransack your entire house, so you can get no relaxation whatsoever. They ignore your questions and pleas and order you to stay out of the way. After the search is over, they realize they executed the search warrant on the wrong house and apologize. However, they don't offer to clean up the mess they made and you spend several hours putting things back in drawers and closets, etc.

I wish I had beautiful tile like I saw at the nail salon already installed in my hall, dining room, kitchen, and bathrooms.




SoulAlloy -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 1:24:06 PM)

Granted the tile is now installed! Your house is now the showroom for the tile and visitors and businessman barge in at random making a mess of everything each time. What's more the tules were the payment so you gain nothing else from it but mess.

I wish, I wish, for a new kind of fish,
a fish that would taste excellent prepared on a dish,
a fish which can grant the diner any one wish,
except to remove this wondrous fish...



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 6:19:04 PM)

Granted - a delicious new fish is discovered. Your favorite restaurant adds it to their menu and you order it. When served, the plate comes with a note telling you that you can make a wish. However, your wishes are very limited, you can only wish for:

monkey and llama penis soup
monkey penis and llama soup
. . . or monkey penis and llama penis soup

Bon Appétit!




I wish I had 3 slaves, one that was domestically oriented, one socially oriented and one with corporate skills . . . and I wish they don't turn out to be screaming mermaids in my pool or aliens in disguise . . . or anyone named Bubba.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 6:23:22 PM)

granted. They are screaming aliens in your pool, named Gertrude, Bubbette and Bertroid.

I wish all the floors were already mopped in my house.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 7:17:24 PM)

Granted - in reciprocation for your wonderful wishes extended to me, your floors shall be mopped 3 times faster. Gertrude, Bubbette and Bertroid show up with mops in hand.



It's been a long day and I am sore and tired. I wish I had a nice massage and great blow job!



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/3/2012 9:27:53 PM)

Granted. You might not have been aware that the aliens Gertrude, Bubbette and Bertroid are very skilled in giving blow jobs and great massages. They come in from the pool and into the house and show you their talents. You are very impressed. The bad news---they don't smell so good. They left and went back out into the pool, but now your house reeks of an obnoxious, rancid odor. You've tried several air fresheners and sprays but nothing seems to get rid of it.

I wish I had that beautiful yellow diamond ring I've had my eye on.




MissImmortalPain -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 2:23:58 PM)

Granted, it is now yours. What you didn't know was that before it attracted your attention it was stolen from a rather angry arab prince that thinks payment for this crime should not just be the return of his diamond. So he takes your nipples with him, along with the diamond, when he leaves.

I wish the pet would just tell me what he wants for his birthday tomorrow rather then keep telling me he is fine and doesn't really want anything.



Karmastic -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 5:10:56 PM)

Granted. But what your pet wants from you doesn't fit with WIITYD (what it is that you do). [:)]

I wish the next hot woman I meet would just cut through the bull and tell me within 5 minutes if she wants to F me or not.



SoulAlloy -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 6:15:17 PM)

Granted! A bull charges into you, knocking you flying. A stunning hot lady walks up to you, and cuts the bull down with an impressive sweep of a longsword... She looks you up and down and smiles saying she would very much like to F you. All this happens in 4 minutes and 59 seconds.

Sadly the important part of your anatomy for that task is no longer with you and is neatly skewered on one of the bull's horns...

I wish I had a car I could afford to run



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 7:26:42 PM)

That can't happen.....I do almost everything and what I don't do scares him to death :P



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 7:28:25 PM)

Granted. You are now the proud owner of a brand spanking new...pedal car. It's compact and it saves (alot) on gas. Congrats.

I really wish everyone would remember to go to bed early tonight so they can get up early in the morning.



Karmastic -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 7:33:51 PM)

quote:

That can't happen.....I do almost everything and what I don't do scares him to death :P


including bestiality?

Granted. Everyone goes to bed early, and they do wake up early in the morning. But one of them owns a Harley and wakes you up way too early.

I wish my pond would stop leaking water.



LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/4/2012 7:35:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy

Granted! A bull charges into you, knocking you flying. A stunning hot lady walks up to you, and cuts the bull down with an impressive sweep of a longsword... She looks you up and down and smiles saying she would very much like to F you. All this happens in 4 minutes and 59 seconds.

Sadly the important part of your anatomy for that task is no longer with you and is neatly skewered on one of the bull's horns...

I wish I had a car I could afford to run

GRANTED!  You have a pedal car.  No gasoline needed.  And look at the GREAT exercise you'll get.

I wish that a certain potential slave would realize what he calls his "insecurities" are really fears - and groundless ones at that.



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