RE: Ruin A Wish (Full Version)

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MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/9/2012 4:43:15 PM)

Granted. You are at a party where the punch was spiked with XTC, but things don't go so well for you. A balding, toothless, out-of-shape older guy takes a fancy to you and pursues you relentlessly. You run out the door to get away from him and can fortunately outrun him. You find some bushes to hide in to get away from him. Concerned, the residents of the home call the police. The police come out and haul you into the slammer overnight since you seem impaired. You try to tell them the next morning what happened but realize you remember very little after arriving at that party.

I wish I had a faster metabolism.





Karmastic -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/9/2012 8:10:09 PM)

Granted, you have a faster metabolism. But unfortunately, it results in you having trouble holding in your feces. You adopt by getting into scat, but that leads to infection, which your faster metabolism quickly spreads through your body.

I wish I wasn't so fucking lazy.



hlen5 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/9/2012 9:03:37 PM)

Granted. Your newfound ambition revs you up so much you decide to come to my house to help me paint all my windows (white with Sassy Lilac trim), tear down two walls of lath and plaster, drywall the living room, refinish my living room floor, and level and tile my ktchen floor (During this time I would keep you well fed and supply the beer of your choice). I would be scraping, priming and painting my garage.

I wish someone else would scrape, prime and paint my garage.




LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/9/2012 9:09:54 PM)

GRANTED!  I order one of my boys to "scrape, prime and paint [your] garage."  He walks off the job, cutting his collar using a convient bolt cutter laying around the construction site. He throws the cut collar in my face. ..... Wait.. I'm supposed to ruin YOUR wish.  Anyway, the next boy I provide loves that kind of work.... however he's dyslexic to a fault.  He paints, lets it dry.  Scrapes it, and then primes it. A rainstorm quickly washes the primer off.

I want two boys - one with a steel, chain collar.  The second with some dyslexia...... see, then when the wish is ruined, he'll be cured. Right?



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/10/2012 1:55:31 PM)

Granted. The poor boy with the steel chain collar was walking outside during a storm and was unfortunately struck by lightning. The dyslexic boy was cured of his dyslexia. Now, however, he has ADD and medication doesn't help. He's pretty useless as a slave because he can't pay attention long enough to hear a complete command, let alone carry a task through to completion.

I wish I had a slice of strawberry cheesecake.



Deliena -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/10/2012 2:14:52 PM)

Wish granted you had a slice of strawberry cheesecake, once, in 1999. You can never have it again.

I wish that I could successfully give up smoking.



Karmastic -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/10/2012 2:17:13 PM)

Granted, you successfully give up smoking. Unfortunately, you do that by replacing it with crack cocaine. You're now forced to offer your services in trade.

I wish there was no more war.



Deliena -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/10/2012 2:20:06 PM)

Granted there are no more wars, even the ants don't make war on each other any more. Technology stalls as there are less incentives to push forwards and populations spiral out of control. Oops whole planet's in trouble now >.<

I wish I could give up this crack cocaine that Karmastic got me hooked on without replacing it with cigarettes or another form of addiction.



Karmastic -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/10/2012 2:40:27 PM)

lo fing l, brilliant answer :)

Granted, you give up crack cocaine without replacing it with another addiction. You take a vacation in Mexico to celebrate your new-found sobriety, and drug lords shoot up the restaurant you're in. You get splattered with what you think is blood, but turns out to be salsa. You survive, but end up with a fear of salsa [&:]

I wish I could spam back spammers.

edited for stooopid editing mistakes



kitkat105 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 5:33:12 AM)

Granted. However, the only thing you can spam them back with is cans of Spam.

I wish I had a personal assistant to help me get through the next 3.5 weeks of craziness.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 6:07:54 AM)

Granted, meet your new personal assistant. Sleep well while he handles EVERYTHING!
I wish it would only rain at night, so I could go for my walks and work in the yard.

[image]local://upfiles/633062/5FCCA718C4B9474498339AE43050A7F0.jpg[/image]



hlen5 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 8:11:54 AM)

Granted. There is 7 inches of rainfall EVERY night.

I wish I could run a marathon.



Deliena -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 9:18:39 AM)

Granted you are put in charge of organising the London Marathon 2013.

I wish I had a marathon chocolate bar right now that I could eat



girl91 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 9:24:07 AM)

Granted. You get the training to run a marathon, but twist your ankle on the way to the start line.


I wish I had a new cellphone.



girl91 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 11:16:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: girl91

Granted. You get the training to run a marathon, but twist your ankle on the way to the start line.


I wish I had a new cellphone.


So I don't know how to edit and read your wish wrong.

Granted, but the Marathon chocolate bar is moldy and maggot infested.

I wish I had a new cellphone.



Deliena -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 11:26:07 AM)

Darn you! I really wanted one too >.<

Wish Granted! You have a new cellphone, no charger, no access to electricity and no SIM card. It's a bloody lovely phone too ;)

I wish I had a fresh, unspoiled, unsoiled, marathon chocolate bar here for me to eat right now and that I could without interference from anyone or anything else.

(can anyone tell I used to play Dungeons and Dragons..... :P)



Bill41 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 12:27:28 PM)

Granted your have your fresh, unspoiled, unsoiled, marathon chocolate bar here for You to eat right now and that You can without interference from anyone or anything else. However you have forgotten that you were born without taste buds.

Now I wish that i could eat and enjoy all the foods that i enjoy eating and never gain an ounce.




SoulAlloy -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 1:52:02 PM)

Granted!

Now everytime you eat an ounce of food another ounce instantly comes out the other end... needless to say mealtimes now require a commode and lots of air freshener

I wish Deliena would give me that Marathon bar [8D]



Bill41 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 2:02:46 PM)

i would too but you know what would happen to me. nice job



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/11/2012 2:07:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulAlloy

Granted!

Now everytime you eat an ounce of food another ounce instantly comes out the other end... needless to say mealtimes now require a commode and lots of air freshener

I wish Deliena would give me that Marathon bar [8D]

Granted. She gives you the marathon bar. Sadly, she shared it with Bill first, so, well, you know.

I wish I would hear back about one of the jobs I applied for this summer, so I could quit cleaning everything in the house and sitting here at this damn computer!



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