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What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:42:14 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry to put out a morbid question, but what if you died unexpectedly, meaning a car crash or some other tragedy? Have any of you made arrangements to explain your kink to the people who would take care of disposing of or distributing your kinky possessions?

My husband and I have a note inside of a sealed envelope that we attach to the top box of our "wickety-wack" as we jokingly refer to it. It basically says something to the effect of:

"Inside of these boxes are some things of a sexual nature that we enjoyed together. We respectfully ask that you do not look into these boxes and that you just dispose of them, and know that we loved each other very much. Thanks."

Have any of you made arrangements like this, or do you have any suggestions for us that we could do to improve on our plan? I believe that my loved ones would respect our request, and I'd rather that they just knew right off the bat that there are private things in these boxes, and not have them open these these things up and wonder what the hell we were into. If they did decide to open up our boxes of wickety-wack, I'd rather they had read the note in advance so they'd know, "OK, they were into some weird crap, but it was consensual."

Any thoughts?



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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:44:54 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I would be more concerned that my poor dead mother would be embarrassed for me for having not changed my underwear that day.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:46:37 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		THIS is some everyone should think about regareless if you are rich or a pauper mouse like my self...Leave what you can to those you care about and screw the rest..bounty

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:47:10 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		You know they're gonna look anyway... curiosity killed the cat

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:47:38 AM   
ctrlaltdelete


Posts: 284
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		There would be some very long and disappointed faces if people dug through my crap and didn't find a bunch of sick shit there!

Why prepare? I only regret not being able to see their reactions!

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:49:47 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I don't need to make arrangements to explain to others about anything. Those who matter...family, friends, co-workers...they know all about me and most have seen what I have scattered around my home. Heck; some of the youngins friends and their parents know about me

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:52:14 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would be more concerned that my poor dead mother would be embarrassed for me for having not changed my underwear that day.

Ron



Ha! Not a problem for me, Ron, I have so many cute pairs of panties that they get changed a couple times a day...that is if I'm wearing any...

Seriously though...would you want somebody to show up at your farm and think you were some kinda kidnapper or something? Wouldn't you rather people got a simple and straight-forward answer - "Ron was a kinky SOB with some hard-core wickety-wack and that's freaky, but whatever it was that he did here, it was with chicks who wanted it."

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:53:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		When I am dead and gone I am not going to care what they think when they start digging through my shit. 

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:57:19 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would be more concerned that my poor dead mother would be embarrassed for me for having not changed my underwear that day.

Ron

If its a car crash Ron I doubt your undies will be sparkling clean, most loose their bladder/bowel control during the event. Plus blood splatters they are so hard to clean....

OP If I die I have a will and my wishes are already known. My sub has all the toys at his place the only things here at mine are some "Domme wear" like corsets etc. My teen already knows I'm kinky so she wouldn't be shocked or anything.

~Lashra


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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 8:58:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous1


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would be more concerned that my poor dead mother would be embarrassed for me for having not changed my underwear that day.

Ron



Ha! Not a problem for me, Ron, I have so many cute pairs of panties that they get changed a couple times a day...that is if I'm wearing any...

Seriously though...would you want somebody to show up at your farm and think you were some kinda kidnapper or something? Wouldn't you rather people got a simple and straight-forward answer - "Ron was a kinky SOB with some hard-core wickety-wack and that's freaky, but whatever it was that he did here, it was with chicks who wanted it."


EVERYONE knows I am the white Rick James, how could they not?
Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:00:03 AM   
ctrlaltdelete


Posts: 284
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
My teen already knows I'm kinky so she wouldn't be shocked or anything.


Nothing better than some quality mother-daughter time at the dinner table! 

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The opinions expressed in my posts are strictly mine and do not seek to imply that my personal beliefs are representative of those of ANY other individual(s). Should these opinions hurt your little feelers, you are free and welcome to stop reading them.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:15:55 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		OK, so thus far, none of you are too concerned about what your loved ones would think?

Do any of you have small children you would be leaving behind?

I am not necessarily worried about them judging us, I just would want them to know it was something we both enjoyed, because it would be very clear to them who was the Dominant and who was the submissive, and I would hate for anyone to think badly of my husband, and think he had some sort of dark and abusive side to him that I had to secretly suffer through, you know? We have a few very old close vanilla friends who know we are into this, and one of his sisters knows (hubby didn't realize his Amazon wishlist was public) and they would be able to explain if it came to that, but I wouldn't want them to have to be put in that position.

I guess I am so concerned about leaving no one in doubt because we are very close to my side of the family and we share EVERYTHING about our lives with them but our kink. I would feel they deserve a note that would explain everything yet reveals nothing and that they would just get rid of our wickety-wack and not look inside.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:17:03 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ctrlaltdelete

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
My teen already knows I'm kinky so she wouldn't be shocked or anything.


Nothing better than some quality mother-daughter time at the dinner table! 

LOL it's not that far fetched. My youngest is 14 and we talk about it all the time. Of course, she thinks I am whacko though lol. But it's all good lol.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:19:02 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		If I died unexpectedly, my family would be far more confused at other parts of my life, than about the kink.  As for my friends - they know my kink sides.

I'd be more concerned about who would take care of my pets (human and otherwise) and subs than about what people thought of my kink after I'm gone.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:20:03 AM   
ctrlaltdelete


Posts: 284
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous1
OK, so thus far, none of you are too concerned about what your loved ones would think?


Love is a two-way street. If someone is my loved-one then they will love and accept me unconditionally. I would like to think that I have weeded out all the hypocrites in life that would judge me for my choices.

And if I am wrong and they actually do judge me - then I am luckily not around to have to accept yet another error in judgment about the people I accepted into my life and into my heart.

_____________________________

The opinions expressed in my posts are strictly mine and do not seek to imply that my personal beliefs are representative of those of ANY other individual(s). Should these opinions hurt your little feelers, you are free and welcome to stop reading them.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:22:09 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		For Me, it's a non issue.  All of the people close enough to Me to take care of My 'effects' should My husband and I unexpectedly depart, already know who I am and what I do.  Like Lashara, My next generation down (daughter) already knows exactly what's in the toybag, and hopefully would have the sense to sell the items or donate them to the National Leather Angel Fund.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:42:02 AM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline 		Great answers, everyone...I guess our true reason isn't so much as we would be embarrassed - I mean they probably wouldn't be surprised at all, considering my husband has a Bettie Page tattoo and I wear a Tiffany & Co. chain with a padlock on it around my neck. It's just, think about it - if YOU were the person who had to clean out another person's possessions, wouldn't you rather know that there's no need to look in a particular box? Who wants to touch or look at somebody else's "Long John Silver Dong"? I would be grateful that that person gave me advanced warning that "here there be monsters" that were inside my private orifices. This cat isn't curious enough to want to look at somebody else's wickety-wack

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:53:01 AM   
carlie310


Posts: 256
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous1

Who wants to touch or look at somebody else's "Long John Silver Dong"? I would be grateful that that person gave me advanced warning that "here there be monsters" that were inside my private orifices.

Which does make me wonder what one should do with those, if one is the person cleaning out.  (And let me take a moment of silence to thank my mother that the only item we found at her house after her sudden death was a very vanilla vibe.)

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:54:33 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I've not because I honestly can't see why to. 

For years my mother didn't know I was into BDSM, not because I was keeping it from her but it hadn't yet come up, and I really can't see what the problem would've been... If I'd died and she was the one to be going through my things, she'd just open the box or drawer and go "Oh!  I don't want to know about that stuff!" and get rid of it.  And honestly, she'd be much more embarassed by finding a vibrator than a flogger.

Now that she does know, she'd have exactly the same reaction.

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RE: What if you unexpectedly died? - 12/12/2007 9:57:49 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeous1


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I would be more concerned that my poor dead mother would be embarrassed for me for having not changed my underwear that day.

Ron



Ha! Not a problem for me, Ron, I have so many cute pairs of panties that they get changed a couple times a day...that is if I'm wearing any...

Seriously though...would you want somebody to show up at your farm and think you were some kinda kidnapper or something? Wouldn't you rather people got a simple and straight-forward answer - "Ron was a kinky SOB with some hard-core wickety-wack and that's freaky, but whatever it was that he did here, it was with chicks who wanted it."


Honestly, if they assume you were a sociopath or sexual predator rather than just kinky on finding BDSM toys at your house they already have a pretty bad opinion of you.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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