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Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:15:41 PM   
Dedj


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		so i was released for the final time from Master Angelo because i was "disobedient".  Last night He had ordered me (via cam/online) to fuck my pussy & asshole with my barbwire...  this just hours after He decided i should be His slave and that He would educate me and i should trust His judgement about what i could or could not do..etc...   [side note--had known Him since October and He had previously released me twice for "disobedience"... the 1st time because i did not complete a task fast enough and was one that i had told Him before becoming His slave that i would have problems doing and it would take me some to learn it if He wanted me to but was willing to try.  the 2nd time... also for "disobedience" He asked me to do something that He also knew was a hard limit for me]  i went from happy & content to utter disbelief and emptiness as i was completely devoted and loyal.  i feel very foolish & stupid.  and He actually said to me this morning among other things...
already I had more patience with you that with any other slave and a slave does not consider ever the actual pain or the actual humiliation like a limit, its sole purpose is that of to make happy its Master.  you will never be a true slave, but alone a sub that seeks every so often some session bdsm..
 
i guess i am just very very upset because i was foolish enough to neglect myself & my business for the past 2 and half months while i was trying so hard to please Him and it has left me in a bad way and i simple do not see any hope any more.  i suppose i just want support more than opinions, but i'm sure i will get both...   just wanted to make sure that i was actually the sane one. 
 
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:19:03 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry....but anyone who would fuck their own pussy and asshole with barbed wire has a level of sanity that I would question.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Dedj)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:22:28 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dedj

i guess i am just very very upset because i was foolish enough to neglect myself & my business for the past 2 and half months while i was trying so hard to please Him and it has left me in a bad way and i simple do not see any hope any more.  i suppose i just want support more than opinions, but i'm sure i will get both...   just wanted to make sure that i was actually the sane one. 
 
 I think the bit that I quoted from you is something you need to keep concentrating on. If you are neglecting stuff you need to get done for continuing your basic existence then there is a big problem.Barbed wire??? Was this an online or a RT relationship? Thankfully you had the sense to say no to that but it is worrisome that you said yes to things in the past.It is quite possible you need to set all of this aside and simply concentrate on your work and your life without getting tangled up with someone, in particular someone who releases then takes you back, releases then takes you back all the while pushing you by saying you aren't slavely enough. Other than that I don't really know what to say......aside from do not go back to this guy. Take the time to find out what the heck you are doing and why you ended up in this awful position.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:24:28 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		So you're not a "true slave" according to Domass.  Hmm....I'm guessing that hurts, however probably not as much as the barbed wire, scarring and health issues would.  He's a fool and you went on a ride.  What you need to figure out now is how you got there and why you didn't take care of yourself.  That's the real issue if you are blowing off your own life and making decisions that are detrimental for you in the guise of a d/s relationship, this is a problem.  You first always have the responsibility to take care of you.

Just a word of advice, you've seen it in vanilla relationships they say "if you love me you will let me have what I want even if you don't agree" it's doesn't fly there.  Saying "you're not a true sub if you don't do x" is the same thing.  Anyone that doesn't listen to your needs and hear what you are saying and protect your wellbeing is not worth your trust and time.

Take a break, grieve your loss and try to assess your part in this but don't give his bs any creedence.  You deserve better, start giving to yourself.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Dedj)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:26:14 PM   
decstorm37


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		NO way on god's green earth would i use barb wire on my pussy or ass. That is beyond pain and more into real damage that could be life threating.  Take a day or two and really think about what he said to you. My take is that he did not care about your safety.

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You do not appreciate the value of something until you lose it!!!! MASAI saying

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:33:58 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

He had ordered me (via cam/online) to fuck my pussy & asshole with barbwire
Unless he was referencing the 1996 Pam Anderson movie, in which case after melting it and letting it cool in a butt plug mold may work, this question
quote:

just wanted to make sure that i was actually the sane one. 
 must be rhetorical - right?

(in reply to Dedj)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:41:59 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		my dear, you are MOST definitely the sane one. 
What a fucking asshole!  '
Your thinking was exactly along the lines it should have been.  You were trying your best.  He should have been proud of you because you were trying for him.  Instead, he releases you because you didn't do it good enough or fast enough?  Hell, if that were the case, Michael would have left my ass high and dry many moons ago!!!

and the barbed wire?  can I just say, "EWWWWW!!"

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 12/13/2007 4:43:54 PM >

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A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:43:59 PM   
Dedj


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		i have been focusing more on myself the last 2 weeks and sorting things out, but my inherent bad luck doesnt help...   luckily it only ended up being online.  First He was supposed to fly me to Him for training in Nov. but postponed due to my "disobedience" and then in Dec... same thing.  i feel like He kept leading me on and giving me false hope.  He didnt want/wouldnt allow me to get another job, but was very generous in that He did take care of my bills/expenses....   unfortuntately my cell phone died about a week and a half a go and i dont have the money yet to replace it, but i'm working that....   but no phone makes it hard to get business calls & look for new work, hopefully i'll have that sorted soon.
 
[side note...   i do like barbwire...  it makes a lovely fashion accesory...   cm didnt care for the the pic of me wrapped in barbwire.  i just dont love it like He was wanting me to.]

(in reply to camille65)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 4:54:35 PM   
decstorm37


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dedj

i have been focusing more on myself the last 2 weeks and sorting things out, but my inherent bad luck doesnt help...   luckily it only ended up being online.  First He was supposed to fly me to Him for training in Nov. but postponed due to my "disobedience" and then in Dec... same thing.  i feel like He kept leading me on and giving me false hope.  He didnt want/wouldnt allow me to get another job, but was very generous in that He did take care of my bills/expenses....   unfortuntately my cell phone died about a week and a half a go and i dont have the money yet to replace it, but i'm working that....   but no phone makes it hard to get business calls & look for new work, hopefully i'll have that sorted soon.
 
[side note...   i do like barbwire...  it makes a lovely fashion accesory...   cm didnt care for the the pic of me wrapped in barbwire.  i just dont love it like He was wanting me to.]


I'm glad you responsded to this. I'm also glad you are focusing on yourself and your job. Good luck in all you do. No matter what your saftey comes first. :)

_____________________________

You do not appreciate the value of something until you lose it!!!! MASAI saying

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 5:30:55 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		Such is the online life.

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Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 5:31:19 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		You certainly will have to worry about your well being and careful there is no long term injury to Yourself of the sick insane monster that You with.. i think your health comes first before any sexual pleasure for who ever you wish to cater for.. Weather it is your own or your mental cased Dom.

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Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 5:40:38 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Please let all those who believe themselves to be slaves (literally) without limits and rights read this post... twice.
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 6:12:40 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Hon, get out from behind the computer and out into your local community. You'll learn a lot and have a decent chance at having fulfilling encounters and possibly a real relationship.

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Dedj)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 6:36:33 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I am rendered speechless by this thread.

Barbed wire? Online relationships? A guy in Italy who collars and then releases at the click of a mouse?


(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 6:41:46 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Good thing it ended before he brought up the steel girders.

< Message edited by Estring -- 12/13/2007 6:42:17 PM >

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 6:42:22 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Barbed wire? Online relationships? A guy in Italy who collars and then releases at the click of a mouse?


Embrace the on-line experience!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 6:44:22 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Hon, get out from behind the computer and out into your local community. You'll learn a lot and have a decent chance at having fulfilling encounters and possibly a real relationship.

Master Fire



Amen!! I second that! He was an ass and was not a healthy relationship for you. Move one, find a fulfilling, healthy M/s relationship.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 7:01:46 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Or, if you're not comfortable enmeshing yourself in the local community (as some of us are not), lurk here, read and learn. There is so much wisdom here.

Be well

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 7:18:40 PM   
Dedj


Posts: 16
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Barbed wire? Online relationships? A guy in Italy who collars and then releases at the click of a mouse?


Embrace the on-line experience!



yes...  online can be every bit as real as any other type of relationship  (and i know many would argue that but that's been done enough and let's not do that here) ...  the money He sent me was very real as were intentions i'm sure but it was meant to be a precursor to real-time training...   and it's scary to think what might have become of that!  i'm glad my common sense returned from vacation before i took a permanent one...
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Hon, get out from behind the computer and out into your local community. You'll learn a lot and have a decent chance at having fulfilling encounters and possibly a real relationship.

Master Fire



i have...   met several local Doms & Dommes...  almost went to the IC in gso once.   but really too shy to go out alone.  havent decided to stop trying tho! 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Please let all those who believe themselves to be slaves (literally) without limits and rights read this post... twice.
 
John


Absolutely agree!  just hope my need to vent & purge will help some other sub/slave learn to not be so naive and that you have to look after yourself first and cant expect anyone else Master/Mistress/Dom to do it if you dont.
 

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Disobedience & Barbwire - 12/13/2007 7:56:42 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dedj

the money He sent me was very real


Well, Hell's Bells ! 

Had I only known that  *on- line * was profitable.

                         mbmbn

(in reply to Dedj)
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