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RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/19/2007 9:20:49 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

snip...
What's in it for your wife?  If she thinks she'll just end up with tennis elbow from whacking your butt, or doesn't see the point behind getting her toes all slobbered on, well, ewwwww, can you blame her?

You are thinking about this wrong.  Examples of resetting priorities might include:
Lock your dick up, give her the key, and ask her not to let you have a single orgasm until she's had ten.  Then make sure she has them.
Set one day a week where she sees you put on a pair of panties under your manly vanilla clothes.  Then you do ALL the household chores, all the "women's work" while she can just relax.

If she sees that male submission means "putting Her pleasure first"  -- both sexual and nonsexual -- she might be more open to the concept... instead of it meaning "putting his pleasure first yet again."


I so loved those ideas!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/22/2007 9:13:43 PM   
HotMistress99


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/6/2007
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How To Introduce Your Wife or Girlfriend To The Female Domination Lifestyle  
By Elise Sutton
                                                         
Men, Why just dream about serving a superior and dominant female, when you may be already living with one? All women are superior to men and all women are a potential Dominatrix. Most women just don't realize it, because they have been held down by a male dominant society. Every woman has a hidden female power that if released, will cause her to be the bold, confident, and superior woman that she was created to be.            
A woman's dormant dominant nature and female power must be seduced and drawn to the forefront by a male's submissive nature. Once this hidden female power comes to the forefront, the woman will have no problem taking her natural position as the dominant female and the boss of her relationship.

Therefore, if you are a submissive male who is married or in a serious relationship with a woman, you need to search no further for your Dominatrix. She is right in front of you. The challenge for you is to draw out her dominant nature with your submissive nature. This is not always easy, as most women
have been programmed from the time they were born that they are to be in subjection to men. Society has mistaken the softness and the gentleness of women for weakness and submission. Likewise, society has mistaken the toughness and the macho ways of men for strength. Men are only stronger     physically. Women are the gender that posses the real strength, which is Intellectually, Emotionally, Spiritually, and Sexually. Unfortunately most women do not realize this. The women that have unleashed their dominant female power have men begging to serve them. If you don't believe me, check out how many professional Dominatrix ads there currently are on the Internet.

There are many more men who realize that they are submissive than women who realize that they should be in charge and are dominant. Therefore, most submissive men will travel the ends of the earth and pay great amounts of money to be dominated by a woman. They  know that it's their destiny. I am all for the professional Dominatrix as they are fulfilling a major need out there. However, the professional Dominatrix can never fulfill the submissive male totally, the way that an actual, intimate relationship can.

In order for you to draw out your wife's dominant nature, you must seduce it with your submission. Don't show your wife material about D&S or B&D and expect her to be enthusiastic about it. She will probably think that these activities are strange and she might even think that you are strange. However, if
you seduce her dominant nature and draw it out of her, once it starts to come to the forefront then you can introduce her to some D&S and B&D activities. So how do you seduce your wife's dominant nature with your submissive nature?

You begin by treating her like a Queen. You begin by serving her as if she was already the dominant woman of your dreams. Be humble and submissive around her.  Don't argue with her, don't yell at her, and don't give her any back talk. Your purpose in your relationship is to serve her. What she says goes, so be quick to agree with her.

Another thing that you can do to seduce your wife's dominant nature is you can offer to give her foot and body massages. When she gets home from a hard day's work, don't sit and watch television and ignore her. A submissive exists to tend to his superior wife's needs. Go and kneel next to her, take off her
shoes, and rub her tired feet. As she relaxes in pleasure, work your massage up  her legs and massage and lightly scratch her legs. Do this on a consistent basis. While you are doing this, tell her that you love and adore her. Tell her that you exist to serve her.

Eventually, you might take more liberty as you rub her feet. You might start to kiss and lick her feet. I wouldn't do this the first time, but if she responds positively to the massages, then keep adding to them. You might work your kissing and licking from her feet, up her legs, and then to her crotch. That's
right, get in the habit of orally servicing your wife. Kiss her body all over and make love to her with your mouth and tongue. Do not ever penetrate her with your penis, unless she requests it. Do not focus on your needs, but instead focus on her needs. Please her sexually as your Queen. Remember that she is superior to you. Don't you dare ever take any liberties, without her permission.

Eventually, you might want to buy a vibrator or a dildo and you can please her with it. She might be hesitant at first, so don't ask her if she wants you to use it on her. First, get her in a state of extreme arousal through kissing her, massaging her and orally pleasing her. Then produce her new toy and slowly and carefully use it on her. If she disapproves, she'll tell you and you must always respect her wishes.

The goal is to get both you and her in the habit of viewing sex as being for the woman's pleasure. It
will be for the man's pleasure only if the woman says so. Which brings up another way that you  
can seduce her dominant nature. Whenever she give you permission to enter her or whenever she is giving you pleasure, always ask her permission before you climax. She will again probably be amazed that you are even asking, but eventually she will come to really like the idea that she controls your orgasms.

Another way to seduce your wife's dominant nature is to be very obedient when she asks you to do chores for her. First, begin by doing all of the chores that you already know that she would like you to do. Don't wait on her to ask before you take out the garbage, cut the lawn, wash the cars, or whatever else you are suppose to do. She will be amazed if you start to serve her by doing your chores willfully. The next step is to then ask her if you can help her with her chores. Ask her if you can do the dishes and help her clean the house. Tell her that you exist to serve her and that you will do  whatever she asks of you.

Still another way to seduce your wife's dominant nature is to buy her little gifts, bring her flowers, and write poetry for her. Take her out to dinner or shopping.  Perhaps you could even cook dinner for her and serve her dinner like a waiter. Another thing you can do is to prepare her a bubble bath, undress her, bathe her, then take her to the bedroom and orally service her.

You could buy her a leather skirt or a pair of leather pants and compliment her on how sexy she looks in leather and how submissive seeing her in leather makes you feel.

All of these "little" things will seduce her dominant nature and it will cause her to grow more dominant. Whenever she asks you why you are treating her so good or acting so submissive around her, tell her it's because you love her and because you have come to realize that women are superior beings, and as such they should be treated like Queens. Tell her that she is your Queen and that you exist to serve her. Now be careful here and don't over do it. Tell her your feelings about how you want to serve her, then leave it at that. She might ask you what has made you to feel this way, and if she does it presents you with a real opportunity.

Tell her that you've had submissive feelings toward her for sometime, but that you were afraid to express them before. Then tell her that you have been reading a lot on the Internet about female domination and how it has touched a chord within you. Again, let her know your feelings but don't over do it. Do not
bring up B&D at this time.

When do you bring up D&S and B&D? When she starts to respond positively to your submission and she starts to ask you more about Female Domination. Then you can begin to introduce her to this lifestyle. You could buy her one of my books. You could introduce her to female domination by showing her a non-pornographic website like the Real Women Don't Do Housework site or my website. Encourage her to perform " The Psychoanalysis of the submissive male " from my website on you. Do not read it first or it will take away from the experience. By her performing this analysis on you, it will cause you to open up and it will cause the two of you to bond even closer together. She will begin to understand you and why you desire to serve her.

From this point on, slowly introduce her to D&S and B&D. Buy her some fetish clothes, and maybe a leather paddle or a whip. Again, only move at her pace. If you sense that she is starting to become negative, then back off the D&S  activities and re-focus on just serving her. Not every woman will react the same and not every woman will grow at the same pace. However, I believe that if you are persistent and consistent than your wife will eventually overcome her inhibitions and she will allow her dominant nature to freely flow out of her. Then she will totally seize the reigns of your relationship and she will fulfill her potential as the dominant woman that she was meant to be. Good Luck.

(in reply to fan2sighz)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/22/2007 11:31:19 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
Negotiate with an established professional dominant who operates a reputable business.  Yes, you'll pay for this service. Be clear with her your situation and limitations.  Make sure you grasp that you will NOT get sex out of the exchange. 

Oh, and don't ask for a receipt or expense it to your company expecting reimbursement.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to fan2sighz)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/22/2007 11:40:34 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
Seeing a pro-domme (no intercourse) has one advantage.  So far, this has all been fantasy for you, right?  Lots of men have kinky fantasies and eventually sneak off to a pro-domme and leave -$300 lighter - thinking "is that it?   What is the big deal?"   Reality can shatter the hottest of  fantasies. Curiosity is satisfied. 


That'd be my guess as to what happens in a majority of the cases where a guy steps out on his wife to gratify his kink desires.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/23/2007 8:24:11 AM   
LadyJeelys


Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline
Well, my answer is going to be different.

Ultimately you have a choice to make. Your wife or BDSM, unless of course, you're truly submissive. By that I mean, no woman would be disgusted by a man who truly seeks to surrender to her, who truly seeks to put her wants and desires before his own. Now, of course, if by submissive you mean, "I want a woman to get me off by spanking my bottom" then, frankly, you're stuck between a rock and a hard, um, state.


But I do know LOTS of men who insisted their wives couldn't possibily be interested in Ds, that found out just the opposite when they had "the" talk. The difference seems to be how "the" talk went. If the conversation (as relayed by the guy) went, "I've discovered I'm submissive and into the kinky, I want t you to tie me up and spank me while while wearing pink poka dot leather and a phantom of the opera mask" things didn't seem to go well. However, several of the guys I know who approached it as, "I've come to realize I want to please you. Could I give you a massage?", and on to "How do you want to things" and to "I saw this thing on the internet which makes guys pay more attention to their wives.....is called the spex, what do you think", seemed to get a more positive response. Frankly, I know a bunch of guys who then realized they'd opened pandora's box and found themselves at the beck and call of full fledge Dommes.

The other thing I've found helpful is having a resource available that the wife can talk to. I'm not talking a pro Domme or even one of your playmates---and not even a BDSM "mentor". But an average person that she can go to and ask questions----and come to the realization that what you want is NORMAL and really kind of everyday.

I'll be honest, I'm sort of open....if for no other reason than I can't keep a secret to save my life! So I always tell my pastors and church family about my Ds interests. And frankly, everytime I mention it during Bible Study or church, afterwards I ended up with two lines. One is guys wanting to know more....the other is a line of ladies wanting to know if men really like being spanked---and how they can go about spanking their husbands. And frankly, my church isn't exactly liberal. Most folks would assume from the outside that these ladies would be completely turned off.

Sooooo, my suggestion is talk to your wife, but be prepared to truly be submissive. If you're really submissive and really wan to please her, then you'll submit even if it means submitting some of your own desires. If that's not you and really you're just after the physical part of Ds, then really I guess what she wants ultimately doesn't matter anyway.

< Message edited by LadyJeelys -- 12/23/2007 8:28:36 AM >

(in reply to fan2sighz)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 9:47:09 AM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline
What you should NOT do is chat with a potential play partner for a few weeks, talk about meeting in the future, and then let her find out you are doing it behind your wife's back >:(

I can't believe I didn't see this thread earlier. What the hell were you thinking?

(in reply to fan2sighz)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 1:21:35 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey

What you should NOT do is chat with a potential play partner for a few weeks, talk about meeting in the future, and then let her find out you are doing it behind your wife's back >:(

I can't believe I didn't see this thread earlier. What the hell were you thinking?


Oops.  Did the OP just get busted?

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 1:22:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I was kind of thinking that Myself.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 1:25:28 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
If it's any consulation, LadyGrey - most dommes have found out at some point that the guy that they've been talking to is married or otherwise involved, and either flat out lied or avoided mentioning it.  It sucks, but it adds truth to the saying "If he'll lie to the wife, he'll lie to the woman on the side".

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 1:45:10 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline
I have a theory that some people lie just for practice

_____________________________

"Knowing others is wisdom; Knowing the self is enlightenment; Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength."


(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 2:29:03 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:

ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey

What you should NOT do is chat with a potential play partner for a few weeks, talk about meeting in the future, and then let her find out you are doing it behind your wife's back >:(

I can't believe I didn't see this thread earlier. What the hell were you thinking?


Oops. Did the OP just get busted?


Yes. SO busted.

>:(

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 3:11:18 PM   
AnnabelHell


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/14/2007
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline
Or, he could commit fraud against the company he works for and use a Professional Dominant in the process. I guess he can add lying to his wife in addition to his company, and possibly adultery as well, to his latest list of bad boy moves. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1487243/tm.htm

I would like to add, not to flame but to point out, that this is not submissive behavior. This is selfish male behavior driven by sexual desires, not submissive needs.

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 3:20:55 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
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Elise Sutton provides some great information into Female Supremacy as to mind domination of which it should be the starting point of every D/s relationship.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to AnnabelHell)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: What's a married man to do? - 12/24/2007 10:15:17 PM   
Evility


Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline
I don't know if you are contemplating a kinky affair to meet these needs but if you are, I will offer this. I've never cheated but I have a close friend who covertly went outside her marriage to satisfy her fetish desires. While her fetish desires were met, she told me that the guilt she went through more than made the proposition not worth it.


(in reply to fan2sighz)
Profile   Post #: 94
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