Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People

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SilentTigresss -> Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 4:06:09 PM)
Hello to all, Not sure just how "general" this is, but i would like to see opinions on how you figure out when someone isn't telling you the truth and they are indeed married or attached to a vanilla person. i do know of some, but would really like to read other people view on this please.

sammiebabygirl -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 5:45:56 PM)
Hon, If you can figure that one out, please share with the rest of us. jen

sweetstorm -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 5:51:36 PM)
single men tell you their faults upfront and straight-away. married men will LIE their asses off to make themselves look perfect.

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 5:55:47 PM)
Well, i do know some signs. i haven't had to "venture" out for a long time; wanted to see if there were new signs. hehe.. i am sorry any of us have to deal with that kind of thing. it's nice to see i am not alone, however, in this quandry. Thank you jen.

windchymes -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 5:56:45 PM)
Some of the "classic" ones are: repeatedly disappearing or "poofing" when you're chatting online. With the technology today, connections are much better than they used to be. (Yes, I know some of you live in the middle of nowhere and have dial-up and you still get booted off, but in general....). Many times, "poofing" means wifey just walked in the room and he had to ditch you fast. If you exchange phone numbers, you can only have his cell phone number or office number and can only call him at certain times, usually during work hours only, never evenings when single guys are usually at home and available. Or, he only calls you from his cell phone from the car or from the office. Making promises to meet in real life and then repeatedly cancelling with various lame excuses. Initiating contact enthusiastically at first, but as time passes and the next logical step is meeting in person, they drift away. Sometimes things happen, but when these things happen consistently on a regular basis, suspect a wife or significant other. It might not be, but very likely is.

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 5:57:28 PM)
You have a good point there sweetstorm. i sit and nod. Thank you for your thoughts.

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 5:58:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss Hello to all, Not sure just how "general" this is, but i would like to see opinions on how you figure out when someone isn't telling you the truth and they are indeed married or attached to a vanilla person. i do know of some, but would really like to read other people view on this please. I don't think you can -- online. If you're beginning to wonder, ask for a home phone number you can call after a few online exchanges. If he/she waffles or refuses, you probably want to back off. I believe honesty works best. I candidly state my status in my profile, and acknowledge it likely will be an issue for some people, so I just hope my profile gave them a smile. (Potential flamers please note: You don't know the story behind why I'm on here, so hold your fire.) Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:02:09 PM)
My dear windchymes....... holy crap!! Yes, and add the " I got booted" to that list. Lord have Mercy.. i have now went through 2 attempted meets..... always something, but then again i called the bluff. Sorry if this is too much for anyone; had to get that out. Soon, it will be time to "reboot" myself! Thank you windchymes

windchymes -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:04:55 PM)
No problem. I had to learn the hard way, too. [;)]

sweetstorm -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:05:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss You have a good point there sweetstorm. i sit and nod. Thank you for your thoughts. My sister gave me crap for going online to met anyone with so many married men out posing as single and I told her that. She sat back and thought about it a minute and said "yep, you're right". Married men will give you compliments on your brains, on your looks, on your manners, ANYTHING. They only say nice things. They distract you from the lack of information about their home life by changing the subject back to YOU and oh how pretty you are! and oh how smart you are! Married men are great at saying all the things that women love to hear. However, if they'll lie to their wives, how can you believe a word they say?

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:06:33 PM)
Ok, so i am feeling the need to reply to you all personally. :) Nods... yes, a good idea to ask for a home number. i mean, there is only so much that you can be blind to. i thank you SirJohn/Les for your thoughts as well.

taintedgypsy -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:07:22 PM)
Cheats are cheats ... vanilla or BDSM, male or female, they lerk everywhere and dishonesty is like cancer ... you practice it somewhere in your life and it slowly seeps into all the nooks and crannies. That common dribble "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" ... rationalisation that spreads deceit and secrets do escape and then people do get hurt. All in all perhaps we should take lie detectors to all our first meetings lol. No one is perfect but it is nice to try to be honest and upstanding.

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:09:58 PM)
i am SO glad i asked this question. And SO glad i got some feedback. Know that the words you all wrote will be taken for memory- again. It's nice to think i have some support.

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:11:51 PM)
HMMMMMmmmm, a lie detector. lol.. good idea. :) Thank you taintedgypsy

MissIsis -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:12:57 PM)
When you feel it in your gut, what you are feeling is usually the truth. Pay attention to those red flags.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:13:21 PM)
If you feel the need to "prove" someone is telling the truth, there's no trust and not much of a relationship. Do you really need to go farther than that?

DrkJourney -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:14:14 PM)
I wish I could help, but I've been scammed so many times I'm just on here now for the boards and friends. I obviously have no radar at all....LOL I've tried every method I know, the wankers are crafty. Just had one a few weeks ago "go poof", one that I thought was possibly sincere, so I'm useless...lol I'll keep reading the thread to see if anyone comes up with a new fangled machine to help me out (like in the movie "Amazon Women on the Moon)...lol

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:19:48 PM)
Yes indeed, words from the wise. Thank you, Thank you.

Gwynvyd -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:21:38 PM)
Marrieds simply are not worth it. Weeding them out as soon as humanly possible before you "fall" for one is always best. The signs already pointed out are great ones.. as is " The too good to be true" If he is too good to be true it is because he has already been pussy whipped by his wife for years most likely. My opinon is shit, or get off the pot. If it is bad enough to look outside of the marriage for your kicks, either fix the shit.. or ditch the bitch/asshole. Dont drag others into it. But then I am jadded. shrugs Gwyn

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:23:47 PM)
No DrkJourney, i think what it is is that you trust and look on the good side for everyone. i also sorry about your ,well, journey. :) i hope the words from these kind people will help you too.

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