RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People

RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:27:47 PM)
Nudges Gwyn.. You are not alone with the jaded definition. i did chuckle at your post; very poignant.

BondageSlaveMN -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:34:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd Marrieds simply are not worth it. Weeding them out as soon as humanly possible before you "fall" for one is always best. The signs already pointed out are great ones.. as is " The too good to be true" If he is too good to be true it is because he has already been pussy whipped by his wife for years most likely. My opinon is shit, or get off the pot. If it is bad enough to look outside of the marriage for your kicks, either fix the shit.. or ditch the bitch/asshole. Dont drag others into it. But then I am jadded. shrugs Gwyn Such a cynical approach is why guys like me have trouble. I sincerely don't think that just because a guy can conduct himself in a respectful and flattering manner that he is married or otherwise attached. Think of liars like you think of e-mail spam. It doesn't matter how good you are at detecting lies, there will always be someone out there that can lie your pants. They are crafty; they are clever.

LadyChef -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:42:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetstorm quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss You have a good point there sweetstorm. i sit and nod. Thank you for your thoughts. My sister gave me crap for going online to meet anyone with so many married men out posing as single and I told her that. She sat back and thought about it a minute and said "yep, you're right". Married men will give you compliments on your brains, on your looks, on your manners, ANYTHING. They only say nice things. They distract you from the lack of information about their home life by changing the subject back to YOU and oh how pretty you are! and oh how smart you are! Married men are great at saying all the things that women love to hear. However, if they'll lie to their wives, how can you believe a word they say? I agree sweetstorm. I have encountered all types on here so far. If "they" are shady giving out home phones and addresses- don't trust them. "They" are hiding something. sweetstorm- I also like your Chuck Swindoll quote...sweet!

DrkJourney -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:42:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss No DrkJourney, i think what it is is that you trust and look on the good side for everyone. i also sorry about your ,well, journey. :) i hope the words from these kind people will help you too. LOL...hopefully so...maybe I will actually look again one day[:D]

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:48:05 PM)
You will look again DrkJourney; it's in our blood.

DrkJourney -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:53:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN Such a cynical approach is why guys like me have trouble. I sincerely don't think that just because a guy can conduct himself in a respectful and flattering manner that he is married or otherwise attached. Think of liars like you think of e-mail spam. It doesn't matter how good you are at detecting lies, there will always be someone out there that can lie your pants. They are crafty; they are clever. You are so right about the crafty and cleaver part, yet you kind of have to be that way, suspicious. I don't mean to go overboard with it, but you have to watch out for yourself since you are likely to run into more scammers than sincere out there. It's also a good device for safety. I think if someone is being "reasonably" cautious, and the person talking to them is as sincere as they claim, they will know it's the net, and know what that person has run into in the past, and won't mind going that extra mile to put their mind at ease and not make the person feel like crap for it. I say that last part because another trait of a "poofer" is that they want everything right then and there, usually claiming "love" in the first few emails, and get upset when you don't follow suit, claiming that you are taking out on them what all the other guys have done in the past. They just need to be patient and understanding, again within reason, and it will all work out. I mean, what's the hurry?

DrkJourney -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:54:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss You will look again DrkJourney; it's in our blood. oooooh like the vampire Mick St. John on "Moonlight"....lol ok, maybe I need to get out more.....LOL

CelticPrince -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 6:56:21 PM)
Tigress An opposing opinion! Simply because a Dominant is very cautious in the beginning of a relationship does not in fact lend credence to his/her being disengenuous. What is occuring across the net is an acceleration of the submissive wanting to move faster in relationships than a more cautious Dominant/Dommme. I do not speak solely for myself but for others that are also cautious for whatever reason. Because a relationship begins does not mean that it will grow to ultimate fruition. If it fails somewhere along the way, regarless who is at fault a Dominant might well be plauged with unwanted calls etc. For myself, I use a tried and true method of time soaking as I learn of her and she of me. When i give her my phone number after several months, she may use it when she chooses but never at work and never past 10;30 when I am knocking off zzzz's We all walk the path with different strides. Now on the subject of those who are married and lie, I see no reason for it as there are plenty or submissives here that are also married, and just looking for an on line affair to live out some fantasy's. I see no need for D's to misrepresent themselves, but that being said I do suppose that there are some that just play a game CP

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:01:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss You will look again DrkJourney; it's in our blood. oooooh like the vampire Mick St. John on "Moonlight"....lol ok, maybe I need to get out more.....LOL lol.. uhh- Yes!! get out more. Hmm, maybe i need to take that advice as well.

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:11:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince Tigress An opposing opinion! Simply because a Dominant is very cautious in the beginning of a relationship does not in fact lend credence to his/her being disengenuous. What is occuring across the net is an acceleration of the submissive wanting to move faster in relationships than a more cautious Dominant/Dommme. I do not speak solely for myself but for others that are also cautious for whatever reason. Because a relationship begins does not mean that it will grow to ultimate fruition. If it fails somewhere along the way, regarless who is at fault a Dominant might well be plauged with unwanted calls etc. For myself, I use a tried and true method of time soaking as I learn of her and she of me. When i give her my phone number after several months, she may use it when she chooses but never at work and never past 10;30 when I am knocking off zzzz's We all walk the path with different strides. Now on the subject of those who are married and lie, I see no reason for it as there are plenty or submissives here that are also married, and just looking for an on line affair to live out some fantasy's. I see no need for D's to misrepresent themselves, but that being said I do suppose that there are some that just play a game CP Celtic Prince, Thank you for the opposing opinion! Your post did wake up the thought of being open minded for the other side. i can understand the view, but perhaps there is also a fine line to being careful and being a liar. This is in no way discrediting your way of starting a relationship. As you said, "We all walk the path with different strides" As i would not know about submissives wanting to move faster, that is fair to say. i myself do not like to move too fast; the wall comes up and i begin to question. i appreciate your view.

BondageSlaveMN -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:23:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince Tigress An opposing opinion! Simply because a Dominant is very cautious in the beginning of a relationship does not in fact lend credence to his/her being disengenuous. What is occuring across the net is an acceleration of the submissive wanting to move faster in relationships than a more cautious Dominant/Dommme. I do not speak solely for myself but for others that are also cautious for whatever reason. Because a relationship begins does not mean that it will grow to ultimate fruition. If it fails somewhere along the way, regarless who is at fault a Dominant might well be plauged with unwanted calls etc. For myself, I use a tried and true method of time soaking as I learn of her and she of me. When i give her my phone number after several months, she may use it when she chooses but never at work and never past 10;30 when I am knocking off zzzz's We all walk the path with different strides. Now on the subject of those who are married and lie, I see no reason for it as there are plenty or submissives here that are also married, and just looking for an on line affair to live out some fantasy's. I see no need for D's to misrepresent themselves, but that being said I do suppose that there are some that just play a game CP Celtic Prince, Thank you for the opposing opinion! Your post did wake up the thought of being open minded for the other side. i can understand the view, but perhaps there is also a fine line to being careful and being a liar. This is in no way discrediting your way of starting a relationship. As you said, "We all walk the path with different strides" As i would not know about submissives wanting to move faster, that is fair to say. i myself do not like to move too fast; the wall comes up and i begin to question. i appreciate your view. Here's how I approach a relationship online. I give each person I contact/contacts me a certain amount of respect and trust (after all, they are people). They then do things to either lose that respect and trust or earn more. This is actually how I approach all relationships in general. I'll just say it's way more difficult to gain respect and trust from me than it is to lose it. I also adjust my expectations such that I am not reading in to the other person things that aren't there. Like I said, unless you have them strapped into a polygraph machine, you're going to have a hard time believing someone completely, online or otherwise. Heck, I had a girlfriend once for 5 years and I didn't know she had an outstanding arrest warrant until the police hauled her in. Was it bad judgement on my part? No, she was just a really good liar. Fact is that you're going to spend a lot of time and energy on people that just poof or lie or are fake, etc. You just need to make sure you don't invest too quickly.

Prinsexx -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:25:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss Hello to all, Not sure just how "general" this is, but i would like to see opinions on how you figure out when someone isn't telling you the truth and they are indeed married or attached to a vanilla person. i do know of some, but would really like to read other people view on this please. disappearing off line or dropping their web cam acrivities only seeing you on a Thursday only seeing you on a Saturday afternoon ie when she is at the hairdresser's or doing a night shift having a name that begins with Aa...likely to be a fake name that gets them top of a hit list only giving you a mobile number living too far away for you to be able to visit them but looking good that they spend such an effort visiting you smelling of her/him having perfectly pressed clothes never wanting dinner forgetting to take your gifts home with them taking your gifts home with them but leaving the wrapping paper saying they live with their mother being busy busy with family at christmas having far far too much time to spare during the day which is the worse scenario as their significant other maintains them inadvertently copying their domestic arrangement emails to you apologising and saying he/she is just a tenant apologising and saying he/she co-owns the house but lives a separate life apologising and saying they will get a divorce/sell their house/be 24/7 one day soon dropping the dynamic and begging you not to quit on them when the oher gets wind of it all and throws them out been there and writing the book..................

sexyred1 -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:34:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd Marrieds simply are not worth it. Weeding them out as soon as humanly possible before you "fall" for one is always best. The signs already pointed out are great ones.. as is " The too good to be true" If he is too good to be true it is because he has already been pussy whipped by his wife for years most likely. My opinon is shit, or get off the pot. If it is bad enough to look outside of the marriage for your kicks, either fix the shit.. or ditch the bitch/asshole. Dont drag others into it. But then I am jadded. shrugs Gwyn Great points, but you forget one thing: it is so much easier for married men to be complacent and stay in their "so called" unsatisfying marriages than change things. In fact, I venture to say that most married men and women who cheat, actually are pretty happy with the status quo at home; they just want some more excitement and as the saying goes, if you can, you will. I have far more respect for a married person who is upfront and says, yes, I am married and no I don't hate my wife, I just want to fuck around. That way, the other party can make an informed choice instead of getting emotionally invested. The other lying type of coward needs to have a cattle prod shoved up his ass.

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:39:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN Here's how I approach a relationship online. I give each person I contact/contacts me a certain amount of respect and trust (after all, they are people). They then do things to either lose that respect and trust or earn more. This is actually how I approach all relationships in general. I'll just say it's way more difficult to gain respect and trust from me than it is to lose it. I also adjust my expectations such that I am not reading in to the other person things that aren't there. Like I said, unless you have them strapped into a polygraph machine, you're going to have a hard time believing someone completely, online or otherwise. Heck, I had a girlfriend once for 5 years and I didn't know she had an outstanding arrest warrant until the police hauled her in. Was it bad judgement on my part? No, she was just a really good liar. Fact is that you're going to spend a lot of time and energy on people that just poof or lie or are fake, etc. You just need to make sure you don't invest too quickly. Well written ! i feel i do that myself; give trust and then they will do something to lose it. Only thing about that is i then get blamed for not giving respect. :) Hmm, double edged sword? Nods, another key is to move slowly. Thank you!

flower2007 -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:41:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes If you exchange phone numbers, you can only have his cell phone number or office number and can only call him at certain times, usually during work hours only, never evenings when single guys are usually at home and available. Or, he only calls you from his cell phone from the car or from the office. See, I've never understood this. I'm in my late 20's and only have a cell and office phone, as do many of my friends. I did have a guy ask for my home number once, and proceed to accuse me of being married when I told him I didn't have one. It's 2007, and let's face it, more and more people are getting rid of home phone numbers. It's NOT an indication someone is married and/or hiding something. Edited for a whole bunch of typos

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:43:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx disappearing off line or dropping their web cam acrivities only seeing you on a Thursday only seeing you on a Saturday afternoon ie when she is at the hairdresser's or doing a night shift having a name that begins with Aa...likely to be a fake name that gets them top of a hit list only giving you a mobile number living too far away for you to be able to visit them but looking good that they spend such an effort visiting you smelling of her/him having perfectly pressed clothes never wanting dinner forgetting to take your gifts home with them taking your gifts home with them but leaving the wrapping paper saying they live with their mother being busy busy with family at christmas having far far too much time to spare during the day which is the worse scenario as their significant other maintains them inadvertently copying their domestic arrangement emails to you apologising and saying he/she is just a tenant apologising and saying he/she co-owns the house but lives a separate life apologising and saying they will get a divorce/sell their house/be 24/7 one day soon dropping the dynamic and begging you not to quit on them when the oher gets wind of it all and throws them out been there and writing the book.................. My goodness! Very good information Prinsexx. Nods, i can see clearly now, with this post and the many others and hope with more to come. :)

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:45:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Gwyn Great points, but you forget one thing: it is so much easier for married men to be complacent and stay in their "so called" unsatisfying marriages than change things. In fact, I venture to say that most married men and women who cheat, actually are pretty happy with the status quo at home; they just want some more excitement and as the saying goes, if you can, you will. I have far more respect for a married person who is upfront and says, yes, I am married and no I don't hate my wife, I just want to fuck around. That way, the other party can make an informed choice instead of getting emotionally invested. The other lying type of coward needs to have a cattle prod shoved up his ass. LOL... love it!!

RumpusParable -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 7:47:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilentTigresss Hello to all, Not sure just how "general" this is, but i would like to see opinions on how you figure out when someone isn't telling you the truth and they are indeed married or attached to a vanilla person. i do know of some, but would really like to read other people view on this please. When you are supposedly in an actual relationship with them, but do not know where they work, their phone number, where their home is, or otherwise are in reality not allowed into normal contact with them that a good friend would be.

ezduzit -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 8:06:42 PM)
The home phone is becoming a thing of the past. Many people I know including me do not have one anymore. This is not a reliable test. It is pretty easy to catch someone though. Wait until they are comfortable chatting and they make some sort of statement and then ask "How does your wife feel about that?" Most people who are lying will trip pretty badly if caught off guard by something like this. It will be obvious that they are lying. If they pass this test and they are married or attatched, then at the very least they are an excellent liar. Who knows they may well have other skills. :-)

SilentTigresss -> RE: Secretly Married or attached to a vanilla People (12/15/2007 8:09:17 PM)
Hehe- tricky!!

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875