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BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:15:32 PM

backseatbebe

Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

I am curious how many BBWs out there have also encoutered such malicious abuse after telling a Dom they are not interested?

You see I respond to every mail I recieve, even to those who do not interest me.
Usually my rejection message is very short and sweet "not interested (perhaps insert reason; distance, age etc), best of luck to you".
Now just taking the time to respond is more than most people on here do, yet it seems to bite me in the ass a lot of the time.
Because "Doms" respond back to tell me how they never wanted to be with a "porker", "fatty", whatever anyways.
There isn't much I can do about this, other than brush it off and know that they are only reacting to something we all find painful, rejection. Sure you can say this helps weed out the losers, but what if I hadn't rejected them I would have never known their true feelings. So how do we know a Dom is just as ok with our weight as we are?

But I'm curious how routine this is for girls like myself? How often do you recieve an insult after saying no thank you, when minutes before they might have been offering you the world (ie. plane tickets to see them, how they are youre prefect match, asking to play with you, etc).

And on the other side, I'm wondering if skinny girls have to deal with something simialir? What do Doms use as their malicious insult since calling you fat isnt there as their easy out?

< Message edited by backseatbebe -- 12/25/2007 2:53:19 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:28:15 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Honestly, I rarely get these... the funny thing is, I actually used to get more of them when I was skinny. Years back when I was either underweight or correct-weighted I actually had more rejection-responses calling me fat.

It's really not about what size we females are, it's just one of the convenient supposed-to-be-offensive words: "fat", "slut", "whore/ho", "lesbian", "bitch" and "cunt".

Ahhhh, the fun of running into juvenile misogyny in a grown male. ;) You can't help but giggle at it... well, I can't. Haha.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 2

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:32:12 PM

LadyLupineNYC

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I would suggest blocking them and then sending the response. Seems harsh, but not interested is not interested.

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Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 3

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:37:09 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I am far from a BBW and yet when I rejected one man ( I reject them all as I am spoken for) he emailed me back that I would be lucky if anyone wanted me and he only emailed me because he felt pity for my sorry fat ass... I guess he missed the part in my profile and in my response that someone had nabbed my fat ass already.

Another asshole emailed me that I was a fat bitch and I should take my photos down because I am ugly... whatever.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 4

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:37:25 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

Weird. Have not had this happen yet.

I mean, Im not a BBW, but I have not met with a rude rejection so far on this site.

Maybe you should just not respond to the truly idiotic one line PMs.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

Post #: 5

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:40:16 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

I would suggest blocking them and then sending the response. Seems harsh, but not interested is not interested.

It may be harsh, but this is exactly what I do so I agree with it 100%! If someone writes asking me if Himself shares, will sell me, will lend me out, tells me they would be better for me etc, etc, I send them a polite refusal and then block them from contacting me again. Works every time without fail. Unfortunately, that means that once in a while a nice guy is going to write back and say, "Okay, no problem" but those are rare compared to the ones who write back either whining or insulting myself or Master, so I play the odds and have a much better time on Collarme for it.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

Post #: 6

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:40:57 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You will be attacked for some reason or another eventually on this site... we all get it.. you will be called a fake, a man, a poser, or {insert negative adjective here}. It happens to all of us... I had one TS email me that I probably thought I was better than him because my boobs are real, how he knew they were real is beyond me... but he insulted my breasts and said that his would be better than mine post op... like it is a contest or something

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 7

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:41:04 PM

unravel

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline

wow that sucks. i would block their bums out. And using such insults one liners really shed light on the type of "Dominance" they would have to offer, so you are better off not ever interacting with them in the end. Their loss, not yours:)
unravel

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 8

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:45:14 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

It may be harsh, but this is exactly what I do so I agree with it 100%! If someone writes asking me if Himself shares, will sell me, will lend me out, tells me they would be better for me etc, etc, I send them a polite refusal and then block them from contacting me again. Works every time without fail. Unfortunately, that means that once in a while a nice guy is going to write back and say, "Okay, no problem" but those are rare compared to the ones who write back either whining or insulting myself or Master, so I play the odds and have a much better time on Collarme for it.

Celeste

Protocol for these sorts:

Email them the part of my profile that restates they should contact Sinergy if they want to strike up a friendship

If they email me more than one more time after that I tell Sinergy, and he emails them and asks them politely to either ask him what they want to know from me, or to quit contacting me. It is not that I cannot have dominant friends, it is just this way I do not have to put up with abuse... they tend to leave me alone if they know that he will be responding to them.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 9

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 2:52:12 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

Every once in a while...
(think full moon, release from correctional facility, school break, etc....)
I get a couple strange e-mails, calling me a lazy, fat, slob, bitch, etc...
uhmmm...

ok

so I "attempt" to reply (not nasty reply either) and I find that they have blocked me from responding to them!?
Not nice! Must not be a twue dom, hehe

Children.

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 3:09:43 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

Why wait for a rejection? I've gotten loads of insulting first messages. One or two actually upset me and eventually Master had enough. I am no longer allowed to open any "blue" messages in my inbox. He used to open them to see if they had anything intelligent to say (response to a thread, etc.), but He got tired of that and now He just deletes them. He has blocked some, but He wants them to see "deleted not read" in their sent mail.

My profile more than clearly states to message HIM first to talk to me. Yet, I get messages daily. Once or twice someone has actually emailed Him (looking to "rent" me- hah!).

But I don't let this nonsense get in the way of the great friendships I've made here (not to mention- meeting Master in the first place

) and enjoying the boards.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 11

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 3:12:22 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

I have gotten some first messages in PINK as well as blue, LOL

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 12

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 3:24:07 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

>Rant Mode to ON

You surely already know this, but these so-called "Doms" are nothing but arrogant, schoolyard bullies who lack self-confidence and who probably have a belt buckle bigger than their dicks. If any sub large, medium or small rejects their advances, it's an insult to their ego...and of course, they have to strike out.

I've been told of several of these types by subs off these boards. Makes me wonder what rock they crawled out from under. (BTW, I'm a Dom, but one with at least a hint of sense and intelligence)

Rant Mode to OFF

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 13

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 4:56:11 PM

Hergirl0824

Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

yes i am a BBW and yes i have gotten them also...i just chock it up to people needing to lash out like school yard bullies when they are rejected...my reply after such a comment is "then why were you interested in me in the first place?"...just let it go...they are not worth the aggrevation

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 14

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 5:29:53 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

It has nothing to do with being BBW...if you weren't BBW they would have found another reason to put you down....likely by telling you you weren't very bright for having turned them down

aJ.

(in reply to Hergirl0824)

Post #: 15

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 6:12:48 PM

backseatbebe

Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

lol the all too famous
"you dont know what your missing"
or
"your loss"

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 16

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 6:13:17 PM

LordWhipstaff

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline

So called Masters or Doms that display this kind of response deserve no justification in being blocked. I agree with SirJohnMandevill when he said these are just schoolyard bullies, wantabe's or players. I have in the past responded to these stupid people myself instead of having my slave go through it. I feel that part of a Master's responsibility is to protect his slave. My response’s are not as friendly as a trained slave's response would be also.

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 17

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 6:18:20 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Happens all the time- if it's not that you're fat, then it's because you're not really a sub, or it's because you don't have a good screen name, or because you're really just a man.

Anything to either
a) get your attention back on them to respond and get you to correspond with them more so they can exploit your weaknesses
b) ensure their fragile ego isn't damaged by rejection

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LordWhipstaff)

Post #: 18

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 6:27:44 PM

Rianne

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline

I had one the other day that insisted I was really my Dom, but I could "prove" to him that I wasn't by live cam, or posting a photo with his initials in it. Does anyone fall for that crap?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/25/2007 6:33:29 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

One time I had written "his" name in chocolate syrup on my...

oh wait, that was something entirely different, ooops

_____________________________

Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. — Lincoln

(in reply to Rianne)

Post #: 20

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