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RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 5:05:35 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

*one, *two, *three, *four (counting my lucky stars that I haven't received any of these).

I worked with teenagers and they all did that kind of thing - calling names based on body. I started giving them rewards if they could give me a creative insult. They never could. Sounds like these guys are like that. You know, 15 years old.

However, I did once get a very polite email from a Dom wanting to meet me. I checked out his profile (as I do anybody who writes me). He had this long journal entry about - why are there so many fat American girls on CM? Well I'm not small, so I emailed him a "we're not compatible" letter. And then shook my head.

Who cares about these fools? Not worth the time we take to write these posts.
peace

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 41

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 5:52:18 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i sometimes get a malicious message from a "dom" in my area who would keep telling me how fat and ugly i am. however the last time he messaged me, i was able to message him back before he had a chance to block me. i simply said "thank you but you're ugly and fat too". then i blocked him.

i received nasty messages from other doms after telling them "not interested" ...i would get suggestions that i go on a diet too. that's an immedieate red flag for me - if i go on diet, it's for me and for me alone ...not for another dom, Daddy or my SO. they can assist but they cannot make me do it.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 42

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 5:55:54 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

There are some real nut cases on this site. I would recommend not responding to all of them.
If I am not interested, I will send an auto reply which really pisses them off.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 43

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 7:43:14 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

And that's why most of us don't respond to people we aren't interested in. Because we get abuse in response to a polite no thanks.

If you had no picture, and no mention of your weight, you would still be getting this vitriol. You would still get comments about how (pick one or all) you are too fat, ugly, old, stupid to fuck.

Unfortunately this is how it is online, when people don't have consequences for their actions, when they can get away with anything. They are too insecure to handle rejection so they turn the insecurity into anger and attack.

The only way around it I know of is to block and delete, and never answer.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 44

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 10:09:38 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

some folks, not necessarily Doms, are sadistic in a non-physical way. the rejection isn't their trigger...they would still be the same way if you had accepted them, perhaps just not at first bite!

that's how this slave interprets that behavior--the desire to inflict emotional, possibly psychological suffering on another through insults or comments intended to humiliate or degrade another--as Sadistic.

it can be very much fun, or even cathartic for the people who are involved, if that is what they seek to fulfill them and put them in their happy place.

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 45

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 10:23:54 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't have a pic up at all and I get those too. It isn't just a BBW phenomonon. Some men (and women too) are immature and when faced with even a gentle rejection will lash out in the only way they can. Calling a woman a cow, tub of lard, ect, is almost certain to get a reaction even when the woman is a model.
I just picture the sender as sitting there, turning red in anger and stomping his feet as he types. Very mature.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

I am curious how many BBWs out there have also encoutered such malicious abuse after telling a Dom they are not interested?

But I'm curious how routine this is for girls like myself? How often do you recieve an insult after saying no thank you, when minutes before they might have been offering you the world (ie. plane tickets to see them, how they are youre prefect match, asking to play with you, etc).

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 46

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 1:16:45 PM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

~fr~

Disclaimer "I'm a BBW lover".

Now, this is sort of off topic but similar. I remember as a young adult in Japan partying at clubs in Tokyo of an incident that happened to me. BTW this doesn't put me in a positive light. When I wasn't working at a club, I'd go to clubs to dance and troll for sex. If I asked someone to dance and they'd say no (usually in a smart tone) I'd walk away and call her a name (I won't list the names I've probably said).

One time I was at a club and I saw this cute girl sitting with her friends all night. She didn't dance once and she really caught my eye. I caught her smiling at me once or twice. So I decided to ask her to dance. When I asked her, I was surprised she said no. But she just didn't just tell me no, she explained to me that she had a hard day at work and she really didn't want to come out but her friend was getting married that weekend so she was obligated to. That if she was in a better frame of mind that she would have loved to dance with me.

As I walked away back to "my boys" my friends were like "She said no?" I replied "Man, I feel like shit for even asking her."

The point I'm trying to make is us men suffer from HMDS sometimes and our macho-ness causes us to act stupid when we are rejected and down right mean. Even when we haven't read the profile all the way down that may say they are unavailable. Not making excuses though. When I see a profile of someone that catches my eye who isn't available, now (and I'm much older than that 22 year old jerk in Tokyo) I just say "damn!"

And though we know many try to use the word fat, slut, whore etc in derogatory ways, there are some of us that use it as a come on, but we should earn that right first :)

Z-

Edited for content and spelling

< Message edited by DarkDaddyZ -- 12/26/2007 1:18:53 PM >

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 47

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 1:22:09 PM

TwistedSin

Posts: 41
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

Now I have only had a few Doms call me a fat ass or porker or whatever after I declined their advances. But I have run into many many people who really love talking to me, who I really love talking to, who say we're perfect for each other or whatever, but when they find out I am over 200 pounds, they freak out. I'm usually left holding the short end of the stick, waiting for them to come back from an errand or something, only to never hear from them again. Just very recently I met a guy who I thought was amazing, but when this topic came up it seemed like everything came to a standstill. I am very proportionate for my weight, but yes, I do have some extra pounds. The fact that I am 5'9 just makes me lucky that I'm not as wide as my front door. I think that as hard as it is to find someone perfect for you in this lifestyle - weight should only play a small role in it! Weight can be lost! But you cannot make someone enjoy the things you do, or have the same ideas that you have. When I met my Master, my service was non-sexual until I lost the amount of weight he wanted me to lose. And you know what? It's worth it if that person is perfect for me, so if I can deal with something like that, someone can deal with a few extra pounds!!
Sorry...I'm just extremely frustrated and I'm glad I saw this topic!!!!

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 48

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 1:27:06 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

Why wait for a rejection? I've gotten loads of insulting first messages. One or two actually upset me and eventually Master had enough. I am no longer allowed to open any "blue" messages in my inbox. He used to open them to see if they had anything intelligent to say (response to a thread, etc.), but He got tired of that and now He just deletes them. He has blocked some, but He wants them to see "deleted not read" in their sent mail.

My profile more than clearly states to message HIM first to talk to me. Yet, I get messages daily. Once or twice someone has actually emailed Him (looking to "rent" me- hah!).

But I don't let this nonsense get in the way of the great friendships I've made here (not to mention- meeting Master in the first place) and enjoying the boards.

While I can understand His frustration, this is about as rude as it gets. Perhaps someone was really not trying to "get" you, or was providing you ( or asking for ) serious information, all the while being very respectful. To see "deleted not read" says that you don't care what the intent was. While many deserve that, there are some that don't.

Of course, along with the frustration factor, it could be due to not having the energy to deal with issues that arise from ownership.

Wow. See what happens when I go off-line for a while? I would defend myself, but juliaoceania has said everything for me beautifully.
Take a look at my profile (as many have- I was wondering why I had so many hits yesterday!) and you will see just how clearly it states that Master deletes all blue messages. Now, there have been times when I have recognized a name from the boards and asked Him to look at it before He deletes, but that's quite rare. Most of the Doms and male subs who use the boards are intelligent and polite enough to write Him first. (I said 'most', please don't get on me for that statement).

This whole issue all boils down to my "asshole" rule: there are assholes in every walk of life; every shape, color, sex, religion, orientation, occupation. The "asshole" designation supercedes any other group that asshole may belong to; ignore other labels. If a person is an asshole- give them no room or energy in your life. Move on, don't waste precious minutes worrying about it.

_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 49

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 1:36:55 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

I rarely get nasty replies back after rejecting someone anymore , I do the to avoid sending them brief to the point replies because typed word lacks inflection so can be interpretted having different meaning one being as being a snotty, so I have learned to use a flowery approach so they do not take as a negative personal rejection

So I start off with a thank you for interest shown, compliment them eg for humor shown in email/profile or commenting postively on something they said in their profile/email if sufficient written or may use a touch of humor , then move on the my reason for not accepting and then wish them luck in their continued search, and 90% percent of the time will get a complimentary reply back , the other 9.9% percent --no response and .1 % might be upset and rarely is it outright rude out of that minute number

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 50

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 1:45:26 PM

EbonyPhoenix68

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/25/2007
From: Central Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

*one, *two, *three, *four (counting my lucky stars that I haven't received any of these).

I worked with teenagers and they all did that kind of thing - calling names based on body. I started giving them rewards if they could give me a creative insult. They never could. Sounds like these guys are like that. You know, 15 years old.

However, I did once get a very polite email from a Dom wanting to meet me. I checked out his profile (as I do anybody who writes me). He had this long journal entry about - why are there so many fat American girls on CM? Well I'm not small, so I emailed him a "we're not compatible" letter. And then shook my head.

Who cares about these fools? Not worth the time we take to write these posts.
peace

As I read this, I'm reminded of something that one of my former therapists used to say (which she suggested that I say in my head): "Gee, it must suck to be them." Idiots who complain about BBW subs/slaves or even anorexic, skinny ones are they type who never seem to be satisfied with what they want and to me, that is pathetic. Hell, I've scened with subs/slaves who are plus sized and it doesn't bother me at all. So, I wouldn't waste my energy worrying about picky Doms like him. Oh, and have a Happy Spanking New Year! :)

_____________________________

"The opinions expressed on these topics are my own and not necessarily from the owners of this web site."

Lead, follow or get the hell out of my way.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 51

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 1:54:48 PM

Moongoddess40

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/1/2007
Status: offline

Sweetie, your divine~! And you got so many great responses on here....it happens to all of us no matter what size, how we look, etc. Funny thing is if you look at the percentage of Doms on here that are say, less then good looking, over weight, short, on and on ...it's incredible! And alot of them want that "Barbie" doll submissive. Now if that is the fact, shouldn't they be in control of themselves enough to be the best they can be?appearance wise? Fortunately there are some great Dominant men on this site as well......none you worry!
Moon

(in reply to backseatbebe)

Post #: 52

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/26/2007 2:04:07 PM

SageFemmexx

Posts: 240
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline

I've never received a BBW insult but I have had my share of male subs yelling I must be a man because I have refused to set up my webcam and let them "see" me. I make a habit of deleting without reading anyone's email that's on my idiot list which seems to make the point they aren't worth my time. I think to these morons, calling someone fat works as an insult, if skinny worked they would use that term too. Keep a mental list and dump the fools, no one has to put up with crap on here.

(in reply to Moongoddess40)

Post #: 53

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 11:00:47 AM

SilverMark

Posts: 3457
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline

Always amazed by those who are such mindless idiots and isult due to rejection BBW or not. As I spend more time here I hear more and more of it.
To belittle someone because you are not what they want is juvenile and not the actions of a true Man let alone a Dom.

_____________________________

If you have sex with a siamese twin, is it considered a threesome?

The trouble with ignorance is that it picks up confidence as it goes along.
- Arnold H. Glasow

It may be your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others!

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 54

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 1:22:37 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

~fr~

Disclaimer "I'm a BBW lover".

Now, this is sort of off topic but similar. I remember as a young adult in Japan partying at clubs in Tokyo of an incident that happened to me. BTW this doesn't put me in a positive light. When I wasn't working at a club, I'd go to clubs to dance and troll for sex. If I asked someone to dance and they'd say no (usually in a smart tone) I'd walk away and call her a name (I won't list the names I've probably said).

One time I was at a club and I saw this cute girl sitting with her friends all night. She didn't dance once and she really caught my eye. I caught her smiling at me once or twice. So I decided to ask her to dance. When I asked her, I was surprised she said no. But she just didn't just tell me no, she explained to me that she had a hard day at work and she really didn't want to come out but her friend was getting married that weekend so she was obligated to. That if she was in a better frame of mind that she would have loved to dance with me.

As I walked away back to "my boys" my friends were like "She said no?" I replied "Man, I feel like shit for even asking her."

The point I'm trying to make is us men suffer from HMDS sometimes and our macho-ness causes us to act stupid when we are rejected and down right mean. Even when we haven't read the profile all the way down that may say they are unavailable. Not making excuses though. When I see a profile of someone that catches my eye who isn't available, now (and I'm much older than that 22 year old jerk in Tokyo) I just say "damn!"

And though we know many try to use the word fat, slut, whore etc in derogatory ways, there are some of us that use it as a come on, but we should earn that right first :)

Z-

Edited for content and spelling

Just wanted to say, thanks for posting this DDZ. It's always a pleasure when someone posts about lessons they learned from their past boo-boos. It's encouraging.

MNN

_____________________________

aka Ms Petal - Check Me out on the Web.

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)

Post #: 55

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 1:41:39 PM

Mystresnsidney

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline

I am BBW, and i find it suprising that some men look down at women because of their weight, the last stupid response i recieved i answered I can always diet but you'd still be old and ugly.!!!

(in reply to MistressNoName)

Post #: 56

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 1:50:02 PM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName
Just wanted to say, thanks for posting this DDZ. It's always a pleasure when someone posts about lessons they learned from their past boo-boos. It's encouraging.

MNN

Thank you MNN

Z-

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to MistressNoName)

Post #: 57

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 1:51:01 PM

curvyslavegirl

Posts: 134
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

The immaturity of people when I say no is the very reason why I choose not to reply to emails that I am not interested in. In the years that I've been on and off the site not ONCE have I said "thanks but no thanks" and had the person not attempt to continue bantering with me. Either they continue to try and convince me because I've acknowledged that they exist or they go off on the "you're a fat cow anyway" rampage that you're speaking of. In general, when I get those kinds of replies, I just block the person and am greatful that I cut him off early. That kind of immaturity isn't a trait that I find particularly attractive!

(in reply to Mystresnsidney)

Post #: 58

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 2:04:52 PM

DarkDaddyZ

Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: curvyslavegirl

The immaturity of people when I say no is the very reason why I choose not to reply to emails that I am not interested in. In the years that I've been on and off the site not ONCE have I said "thanks but no thanks" and had the person not attempt to continue bantering with me. Either they continue to try and convince me because I've acknowledged that they exist or they go off on the "you're a fat cow anyway" rampage that you're speaking of. In general, when I get those kinds of replies, I just block the person and am greatful that I cut him off early. That kind of immaturity isn't a trait that I find particularly attractive!

And what's cool about this response is that it doesn't faze you because you know they are immature jerks.
Us fat guys get people to try to convince us too, but I haven't had the "you are a fat cow' experience. I have had many thin submissives approach me and wonder why I like bigger girls. I shouldn't have to explain that and sometimes I just don't.

Z-

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to curvyslavegirl)

Post #: 59

RE: BBW and rejection - 12/27/2007 7:50:56 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

yes it happens all the time for many reasons....i had a "dom" my first day here tell me i was dumb and lazy because i didn't want to read his erotic fantasy that he sent me as a first mail....yawn.

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 60

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