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Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 8:41:02 PM   
AllforFun


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/5/2007
Status: offline 		 Being the great ponderer I am, I often think about this and wanted to get your guy's(and Mistresses) opinion on this. The question is really simple, Why do we do this? ( I know this has to have been asked a million times before.)

I know there is the obvious reason that pleasure is derived by submiting and/or expierencing some level of pain with this, but why? Why have our brains been wired to perceive this erotically/pleasureably?

Is it because we have commited a cardinal sin in revealing a softer side to women, so in the back of our heads we think we should be punished for this?

Is it simply a biological urge to mate at all costs even if it means surrendering? (I doubt this one, but could be plausible)

Is it simply taking the load off from our "normal" roles in society? (I think it is deeperr than this.)

I guess I am wondering if the whole act is instinctual,or psychological, r perhaps both. Freud hypohesizes that there are stages of sexual development, Is it possible that at a critical moment in our sexual development there was an event that is commonly shared among other submissives that determines a desire for BDSM? ( think this is likely)

IF so, what could it be?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 9:18:44 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		i submit; because, in my life, there have been women that i have met where i simply didn't consider there to be an alternative


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:07:04 PM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		I'm sure there's a good deal of real academic literature on this topic, so I wade in with some trepidation.

I know for me that part of what drives my submissive side is the fact that I personally derive a great deal of satisfaction from seeing a Domme pleased, enjoying herself, because of something I'm doing or giving. 

I don't think this is a terribly unique characteristic.  I know, for instance, that a lot of positive enforcement-- sometimes consisting of little more that praise-- is used in educational theory and animal training, among other areas.  Some beings really want to please, and if submitting to another's will creates that pleasure, then that is the course that will be pursued.

There's also a linkage here to masochism, although I acknowledge that not every submissive is a masochist.  If, however, you are, one path to getting your beating, so to speak, is to submit to someone who has a compatible sadistic streak in her.

Finally, I think that for many of us who are burdened by responsibility and authority in our professional lives, or other endeavors, submitting in our interpersonal or sexual relationships is a form of balance for our pysches, a release and compensation in some manner.

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:13:47 PM   
AllietheKitten


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		I guess I am wondering if the whole act is instinctual,or psychological, r perhaps both. Freud hypothesized that there are stages of sexual development, Is it possible that at a critical moment in our sexual development there was an event that is commonly shared among other submissive that determines a desire for BDSM?

I agree with this to a point. I am by no means a Freudian (most of his theories on development have been pretty well discounted) by I do believe that it is a difference is sexualization, perhaps caused by an experience in childhood (I hesitate to say "trauma" because I don't consider submissives to be damaged). My sub had a pretty normal childhood-parents that are still married, regular friends..he just fantasized about being controlled from a young age and doesn't really know why. My childhood was less "normal" and a lot more painful. I know for me, my need to be a Domme is a natural offshoot of my need to control a the things in my environment and to be self-determining. But I don't see my sexuality as a trauma I'm working through either (though that is sometimes the case as well) because I believe it goes deeper than that.

This is an interesting question.

_____________________________

I don't believe in Destiny
Or the guiding hand of Fate
I don't believe in forever
of love as a mystical state
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
~Rush

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:15:26 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		It is my opinion that almost every hetero male has submissive feelings toward women.  It's just that some of us feel them more often and more deeply than others.  What is a strip club but a place where men can go worship women, be teased and denied, and give women our money as tribute?  How many songs are out there about "I'd crawl on my knees, drink your bathwater, do anything for you......"?  Male submissiveness is just an extreme form of chivalry. 

http://slave2catwoman.blogspot.com/

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:22:19 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties.
It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:27:08 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		While I do have a strong need to submit, I actually do not want to be fucked in the ass or wear feminine clothing.  (Too bad really, because milady loves the strap on).  My submission is a masculine thing.  I have no desire at all to be made into a sissy.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:27:10 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties.
It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it.

Akasha



Ma'am? Have you seen my Ma'am, i know She's around here.  Ma'am!!!  Please come help me, the mean woman's scaring me.


-great response AAkasha, i don't know how much of it was serious and how much not; but it seriously made my testicles do double duty as extra adam's apples


_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:28:19 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties.
It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it.

Akasha


That might help explain the ferocity of homophobia.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:43:54 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

Being the great ponderer I am, I often think about this and wanted to get your guy's(and Mistresses) opinion on this. The question is really simple, Why do we do this? ( I know this has to have been asked a million times before.)

I know there is the obvious reason that pleasure is derived by submiting and/or expierencing some level of pain with this, but why? Why have our brains been wired to perceive this erotically/pleasureably?

Is it because we have commited a cardinal sin in revealing a softer side to women, so in the back of our heads we think we should be punished for this?

Is it simply a biological urge to mate at all costs even if it means surrendering? (I doubt this one, but could be plausible)

Is it simply taking the load off from our "normal" roles in society? (I think it is deeperr than this.)

I guess I am wondering if the whole act is instinctual,or psychological, r perhaps both. Freud hypohesizes that there are stages of sexual development, Is it possible that at a critical moment in our sexual development there was an event that is commonly shared among other submissives that determines a desire for BDSM? ( think this is likely)

IF so, what could it be?


First, all kinds of pleasure from giving to others can be eroticised.  Cardinal sins and punishment?  I think not.  This implies a great deal of guilt which one hasn't dealt with and religious overtones that likely don't apply to many of us.  I'll add though that certain kinds of scenes and impact play in particular can be very cathartic at times.
 
I doubt it's related to biological urges, unless psychological in nature, which IMO, would make them deeply convoluted.
 
I have little faith in Freud and won't go further into the additional pain he's caused many who were already in emotional pain and trying to sort their problems out.
 
I'm of the opinion that it's the culmination of various things largely related to one's environment and perhaps some genetic disposition as well.  More than anything, it goes against the grain of society, making it difficult for many to accept about themselves; releasing themselves into it for their enjoyment and the enjoyment of their partner.  It's found in other cultures, not just our own.  Even native american indian tribes had the equivalent of submissive males as well as transvestites in various forms. 
 
From my point of view, we're all spiritual beings having a human experience.  So what is the nature of that spiritual being within us?  For me, it's realized as a submissive male.  Some people have the need to be in control of everything around them, others don't.  Some can surrender that control to another and release something deep within themselves in doing so.  The latter would be a description of me.  There's something deep within me at the core of my being that desires to submit to the will of another.  Part of that is "the submissive slut" as I refer to it, that seeks a woman who knows how to push the right buttons to release it and bring it out, then wants to play with it for both our enjoyment.  Not every woman can do that.  It's takes a special woman who identifies as a Domme to appreciate and accept that part of me.  In time, I hope to find that woman and show her how special that part of me is along with all the fun we can have with it together; as we enrich each other's lives.
 
 - pixel


_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/1/2008 10:52:28 PM   
AllietheKitten


Posts: 115
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		ROFL! Thank Heaven I found a sub who was as into sissification as I am!! If I didn't get to sneak in and "rape" him occasionally... *shivers at the thought!*


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha



Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties.
It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it.

Akasha


That might help explain the ferocity of homophobia.



_____________________________

I don't believe in Destiny
Or the guiding hand of Fate
I don't believe in forever
of love as a mystical state
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
~Rush

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 5:45:50 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I do not believe that it is some kind of deep seated psychological or genetic flaw. I believe that it's natural for humans (as with all other animals) to arrange ourselves into a heirarchy and to feel more comfortable when one has found his/her place. The difference with people is that we have to do this many different times in all of the various groups we are a part of. A relationship is one area, and some people prefer to be in the dominant spot and others the submissive.

I think it's true that feminine sensuality and sexuality has long (always) had a power over men. Some seek to control (dominate) that which makes them weak and others seek to surrender to it.

(in reply to AllietheKitten)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 6:12:08 AM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Deep down, I think all mean have a secret desire to be fucked in the ass and forced to wear panties.
It just takes some a little longer to come to terms with it.

Akasha



You are most likely right about that.  :)

To the OP: I spent two years in therapy twenty years ago trying to find for myself the answer that you seek.  What I discovered was that the "why" didn't matter; what mattered was appreciating how it added to my life. 

_____________________________

Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=334308
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=335720
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(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 6:46:50 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

While I do have a strong need to submit, I actually do not want to be fucked in the ass or wear feminine clothing.  (Too bad really, because milady loves the strap on).  My submission is a masculine thing.  I have no desire at all to be made into a sissy.


I'm with you on that one.  My submission is a masculine thing, but I do hunger to be ass fucked by Mistress and Her strap-on.  I don't look at it as a sissy thing, though, like wearing panties or feminine clothing.  That's just something I'm not and thankfully Mistress isn't into it, either.  She wants a man to be Her slave, not a sissy.  As far as Her strap-on goes, I enjoy it because it feels really good.  Plus, it has a little humiliation behind it.  It is so fun to bend over and offer myself to Her like that.  It is a great feeling to feel lubed fingers prepping me to be taken by Her.  Feeling Her grip my hips as She slowly slides into me is enough to send me right into major subspace.  Like I said, it feels really good, too! 

Why do I submit?  It is just who I am.  My total submission is a very precious gift that I choose to give to only one specific and very special person.  She is the only one who has the strength to take it if She wishes, yet She is the only one I trust to never abuse it.  I may be Her slave and property, but I am treated with infinite love and unlimited respect.  I can be myself around Her at all times, whether it's playful, goofy, silly, serious, Her rubber-clad playtoy, or Her boot-lickin' slut who hungers to be below the very ground She walks on.  I do my very best to cater to Her every wish and desire, and obey Her every command.  It is like a knight serving his queen.  She comes first in my life and I do everything I can to show Her that everyday and be the man She's never had in life.

My submission makes me feel complete when bowing down to Her.  I'm a very strong and focused person in my everyday life, but I hunger to relinquish control of things to Mistress.  It's not because I'm not capable of taking care of things myself, but because I want and need to feel the freedom of slavery where all I have to worry about is pleasing Mistress.  Through the scent of slavery, I taste true freedom.  Plus, it is the ultimate display of trust.  I open myself completely to Her and She has never done anything to betray that trust.  She works just as hard to take care of me as I do to take care of Her.  I never thought it would be possible, but with Her, I believe I've found my true happiness!

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 8:09:03 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		The ritualisation of the sexual psychodrama associated with devoting one's self wholeheartedly and completely - all that one is and will be, all that one has and will acquire, all that one can do and will do, to her disposal and purposes in the seeking of a pair bonding for mating, whether or not mating is on the agenda. The rest is just a matter of degrees and personal accents.

E


_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 8:23:59 AM   
Badboy2006


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I believe that all men are  submissive  weather they admit it or not. The guilty pleasure of S/M is that the sub male has the beauty of admitting it and does not mind that eveyone else knows.
See I believe that our mothers instilled this in us from a young age, weather we see it or not. and to feel wanted or loved the submissive side of us males welcomes truth  (weather it comes from pleasure or pain) with humiliy. thats why a good mistress  will not beat the daylights out of you for being bad because she feels  we need to learn psycologically from our mis doings  and the pleasure of pain  is a reward for wanting to feel that way with no psycological hang ups. 
Pretty deep this subject goes with great conversation. So keep that in mind next time you have nothing to say  to your Superior one!  peace  happy new year!  badboy2006

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 11:57:48 AM   
idroolchicksrule


Posts: 64
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		In my opinion submission is not a gender issue, its a human one. It would be interesting if this question were asked on the Master form. I'm sure there would be just as many "I think all women are submissive deep down" as there are "...all men are" on this board. If all women (according to Masters) and all men (according to this board) are submissive deep down then all humans are submissive deep down.
Well that's not true. I think its just a matter of perspective. You can't know the true sexual nature of everyone you see, just the ones that happen to enter that aspect of you life or offer that information. After a while you start to look for it in others and perhaps, jump to conclusions or see what you wish was there instead of what is.

To be honest I don't know what its like to be anyone else but me. I can guess and sometimes think I'm right, but really never know.

As far as my own inexperienced and warped perspective submission provides an answer. Which is comforting. An authority, in every sense of the word. It also allows vulnerability, something squashed in everyday life.

Thanks for reading.

(in reply to Badboy2006)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 12:19:41 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I'm just sitting here in my panties waiting for a Domme to come
and fuck me good with a big ol' strapon since it's my anointed destiny.

Well? tap tap tap

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to AllforFun)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 12:30:59 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet
Well, I'm just sitting here in my panties waiting for a Domme to come
and fuck me good with a big ol' strapon since it's my anointed destiny.


Thanks SO much.  I guarantee you have just supplied the four next newbie subs who send messages to me with their ingenious profile names.

I can't wait to hear what sittingherenpanties, waiting4straponDomme, fuckmegood and anointeddestiny have to say... 

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Psychology of Male submission... - 1/2/2008 12:31:17 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm of the belief that the "why" isn't any more important for us than for anybody else who looks for a relationship for somebody in this world of ours.  If I found out that it was the product of some chance happening in my childhood, it wouldn't mean anything less to me than if I found out it was something based entirely in genetics.

I don't think it's a gender issue either.  I don't believe in gender, persay.  I personally believe gender is, for the most part, imaginary.  Don't get me wrong, there is sex(male and female), but I don't think there's really gender(what a male -should- be and what a female -should be-).

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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