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RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 12:31:59 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


Posts: 256
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		Bullshit right back at ya.  Maybe something shallow to you might be considered a 'relationship', but not really the kind I was talking about.  Even a relationship like a friendship takes work.  Playing with someone or playing slap and tickle with them really doesn't constitute a relationship, does it?  Unless you simply stick with the high level "I know this person, therefore I have a relationship with them." 

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 12:41:27 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia
Playing with someone or playing slap and tickle with them really doesn't constitute a relationship, does it?


Why not?  "Fuckbuddy" is a relationship...might not be very deep, but it is a relationship between two people.

Taggard


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 12:46:40 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


Posts: 256
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline 		Point taken.  I was thinking more along the lines of, well, a deeper relationship, such as a D/s "collared" relationship, marriage, etc.  Which, hopefully, is deeper and more involved (although you couldn't tell from some of the folks around here).  So yeah, fuck buddy, slap & tickle buddy, etc are a relationship, just not what I was referring to.  Always comes down to semantics, I guess.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 12:50:41 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ArgoGeorgia

Which, hopefully, is deeper and more involved (although you couldn't tell from some of the folks around here).


I think that is my point.  A lot of people don't see D/s like marriage (and a lot of people don't even give marriage all that much respect).

But you are right, it all comes down to semantics.

Taggard


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A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 12:52:26 PM   
gorgeous1


Posts: 367
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLolly
With all due respect to one who posted that this is only a game and cannot understand why one would want to do anything they didn't want to do A). for some this is an alternative lifestyle - not just a game. B.) If one only does what one wants to do anyway - just where is the submission in that?





With all due respect, I will answer your questions, since I'm the one who said this is a game.

A) LIFE is a game. You can choose to stop playing any time you like. Sure, this is an alternative lifestyle, and I choose to live my life in the style of a 24/7 M/s dynamic, but either of us could cash our chips in if we decided it wasn't fun anymore.

B) We all only do what we want to do. It's called hard limits. I am not into playing with poo poo. PERIOD. Nobody's going to make me play with fecal matter. Does that make me a "fake" slave? Uhhhh...sure....if you say so....

Question: Would you FORCE, I mean truly FORCE somebody to do something against their will? Seriously? Would you subject them to something if they were tied down and couldn't protect themselves after they had safe-worded? If you answer "Yes" then I digress...it's not a game to you.


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 12:59:16 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I have to agree with Taggard (might make him choke though)
But A Ds relationship isn't any more deeper, than some other types of relationship.  That is just elitist 'mylifestylerocksmorethanothers' bullshit.
Some are deep.
Some are fun.
Some are a quick fuck.
Some are full of love.
Some aren't.
Some are commited.
Some need commiting (I never said that)
 
Taking all Ds relationships, making an absolute statement and lumping them into one only way and speaking for all others is godlike a bit disrespectful hey.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 1/8/2008 1:00:49 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 1:25:14 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


Posts: 256
Joined: 2/9/2007
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
I have to agree with Taggard (might make him choke though)
But A Ds relationship isn't any more deeper, than some other types of relationship.  That is just elitist 'mylifestylerocksmorethanothers' bullshit.


No no no.  This is not what I said.  I never said a D/s relationship is deeper than any other type of relationship. In fact, I said this: "A D/s relationship, on the other hand,  takes work, commitment, and a deeper understanding of WIITWD." I was making a comparison between a quick hook-up and a D/s relationship if you take what I said within the context of my entire post.  Am I incorrect?  Doesn't any relationship require more work than a simple one-night stand?  I guess my big mistake was not defining what I meant by D/s relationship.  If you want to characterize a quick fuck as a D/s relationship, more power to ya.  I disagree because I don't feel you can have that kind of power exchange with a quick fuck, a scene with someone you just met at a public dungeon, etc.  Maybe Top/bottom, but (in my opinion!) not D/s.  Disagree with me as you wish.  I have absolutely no problem with fuck buddies, friends with benefits, a quick fuck, etc.  They definitely serve their purposes.  I was not including those under my headline of a D/s relationship.

Before saying someone is putting out elitist bullshit, please read the fucking post. 

*edited for clarification*

< Message edited by ArgoGeorgia -- 1/8/2008 1:34:48 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 1:40:47 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		They're people. And they have every right to want what they want. At which point you decide if what you want and what they want match up. That's what we call compatibility.

If it does, then you talk to them. If it doesn't, then you don't. But there is no need to denigrate people just for having different desires than you do. That is simply rude.



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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 2:46:28 PM   
MoodDomme


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		I WILL clear this , in this remark.
I Spoke in regard to them wanting to call you or you call them. Or want cam to cam to verify you are who you say.

This is the first Comment they express, Question Why did they Message you??

To Me this a Very Dangerous thing to do. Later it is more possible Granted. After a lot of discussions. 

And Thanks for your inputs.

Mood Domme

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 2:50:03 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MoodDomme

It looks like we have reached a New era in the LifeStyle. I have Encountered as of late.What I Deem as "subtrollers" this is a sub.That is neither Domme or sub. They justwant to Tell you what they want and whatyou Will do. I Believe they stems from the "X" and "Y" Gen. What a TOTAL Concept of Nothing but BS Unadultated type.
 
Mood Domme


Nothing new about them. Men have been telling females what they want and how they want it done for years.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 2:50:23 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I wasn't aware that greedy bottoms were a new phenomena.

Don't old people have better things to do than vent their frustrations over people acting in ways they don't approve by blaming it on my generation with some completely non-existent connection?


Listen here sonny...............................wait.....I forgot what I was gonna say.......

Jeff.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 3:17:28 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MoodDomme

It looks like we have reached a New era in the LifeStyle. I have Encountered as of late.What I Deem as "subtrollers" this is a sub.That is neither Domme or sub. They justwant to Tell you what they want and whatyou Will do. I Believe they stems from the "X" and "Y" Gen. What a TOTAL Concept of Nothing but BS Unadultated type.
 
Mood Domme


And?

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 4:01:22 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MoodDomme
Or want cam to cam to verify you are who you say.


Having dealt with a lot of fakes myself, this does not seem at all unreasonable, even right at the start.  Until they know you are who and what you say you are, they owe you nothing...not even the respect which you seem to believe is your god(dess) given right.

Taggard

And is there some significance to the middle of the sentence capitalization?  I feel like if I had my decoder ring, I could find out that Little Orphan Annie wants me to drink more Ovaltine...


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 4:09:16 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth




As if their own desires and position reflected back at them as a pragmatic consequence somehow becomes offensive when echoed.




Yes a good tool of therapy: mirroring.
But you say it better.
You know how an animal catches its reflection: like a duck and a dive....like is that frkn me or is it another animal reflected in there?


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 4:16:29 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: MoodDomme
Or want cam to cam to verify you are who you say.


Having dealt with a lot of fakes myself, this does not seem at all unreasonable, even right at the start.  Until they know you are who and what you say you are, they owe you nothing...not even the respect which you seem to believe is your god(dess) given right.

Taggard



Fakes and those that never come out from behind the keyboard.  Nothing drives me more bonkers than trying to arrange a meet with someone that never shows.  Unless there is a really good excuse, there are no second chances.

To the OP
I don't cam, I'll arrange a meet real time if I get along well enough in email or IM.  There is just no time in my life to cam with every tom/dick/harry/cindy, you name it. 
If you are uncomfortable going on chat or cam, just tell them up front.

And if they are too pushy for your taste, tell them you aren't interested in that type of dynamic and move on to the next one, let them move on to the next dominant who actually may want them.

Good Luck

LJ


< Message edited by PsyVamp -- 1/8/2008 4:17:41 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 4:18:46 PM   
deeptcs


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		Most of us would serve just fine, but I see some things that I would like to try, and feel it would be exciting. One can only ask though......

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 4:43:23 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

They're people. And they have every right to want what they want. At which point you decide if what you want and what they want match up. That's what we call compatibility.

If it does, then you talk to them. If it doesn't, then you don't. But there is no need to denigrate people just for having different desires than you do. That is simply rude.




I agree with Celeste and gorgeous1; how can you find out if your compatible if you don't share what it is you desire? And if the person you're talking to has the same desires than *poof - cue fairy dust* it's a match. If I say "I am a sub and want to be dominated." is that wrong? I don't think so; so why not then go on to say in what ways I would like to be dominated? Since I don't know you (abstract you, not you specifically) completely yet, I wouldn't know what ways you would want to dominate me, so all I could speak of is my wants - even if it's just to say "I want to submit to anything you want me to submit to."

*editted to add: Ohhhhh, phones and cams......that's a whole other bag of shit.....to each there own. I understand the need for security, but in the end it doesn't mean much (to me) other then having an image of the person to look at. A live-action, i.e. up-to-date, photo if you will.

< Message edited by NaiveTempest -- 1/8/2008 4:52:23 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 4:57:13 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I'll introduce a new kink (pun intended): the Domme/Sub Hybrid.
 
The person who re-invigorated my interest in WIITWD classfied herself as a "Domme/Sub Hybrid." She claimed she decidedly was NOT a switch, although she both topped and bottomed. She claimed it was more a true incorporation of aspects of both personalities.
 
Whatever she was, she was a pain in the ass and an extremely demanding submissive (not in a good sense). I realized after a couple months that we weren't suited for each other and called things off before anything much even happened.
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 6:00:33 PM   
Amaros


Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting point Les - it kind of goes back the role question being debated in other threads: a "fake" it seems is one who claims to be interested in playing a role, whether top or bottom, but for whatever reason ins't interested or is unable to act out that role, even if only for the duration of a scene.

In some cases I suspect that's mostly innocence: I mean ask the next woman you meet if she'd like you to take her home, tie her up and beat her ass with a flogger, then fuck her face and call her a slut - you're either gonna get righteously laid or get your face slapped and the cops called on you, and the statistical probabilities favor the latter, you have to be in a certain zone, a certain frame of mind to even consider this.

I've heard enough horror stories from happily submissive women who hooked up with psychopaths and ended up hospitalized, it happens, whether it's the way some people are raised, or what, I dunno, but you take that chance with anybody if you put yourself at their mercy, BDSM or no - so I  can't really fault anybody for being cautious, I'm just a name on the screen to them too, it takes a lot of trust in basic human nature just to walk out the door sometimes.

Even putting aside the fact that nobody wants somebody going all Jeffrey Dahmer on them, if you don't have a little life experience in general, this can be pretty scary stuff, it's not exactly a video game, it's the world - some people have to work up a little nerve first. Hell that goes for having sex at all for most people, the first time, much less putting yourself in a position of complete vulnerability, it takes some balls.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The New Wave????? - 1/8/2008 6:08:43 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MoodDomme

It looks like we have reached a New era in the LifeStyle. I have Encountered as of late.What I Deem as "subtrollers" this is a sub.That is neither Domme or sub. They justwant to Tell you what they want and whatyou Will do. I Believe they stems from the "X" and "Y" Gen. What a TOTAL Concept of Nothing but BS Unadultated type.
 
Mood Domme


All slaves will state what they desire.  Your slave will accept what you give.

It really is that simple.


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Profile   Post #: 40
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