RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom?

RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (Full Version)

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BabyDollVanIsle -> RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (2/18/2008 11:53:21 AM)
thanks for all the good suggestions and ideas, everyone. Sorry i haven't been putting in my 2 cents... i have been having internet access problems here at home, hopefully it is back up for a while now. we have moved on to a new problem now... i am very dominant at work, quite used to directing and controlling people, and feel quite comfortable doing it on one level, but dislike 'being' that way on another. but there is an upsurge of activity at work right now, and that side of myself is coming out more, and creating unconscious attitudes that making me act in unpleasing ways to my Dom. We are discussing it and how to handle it, but since i have had no previous training (he has usually had submissives with some experience) i am struggling with making the switch to more submissive behavoir around him, all the while still learning what it is like to be submissive and how to behave. sigh

PrimeVector -> RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (2/18/2008 9:26:01 PM)
There seems to be quite a few assumptions being made by you about what is going on in his mind, or not going on. If you are unhappy and concerned, as you make clear by your question here, then by all means open the communication lines up in some fashion. Perhaps a diary-style, daily list of your concerns, written by hand in a spiral notebook, updated frequently so that you can see for yourself what they are, and how they develop and change over a period of time, would help you to clarify and focus what it is you really want in this situation. Be honest, both with him and perhaps more importantly, with yourself. Ultimately the truth WILL come out, one way or another. Good Luck.

BabyDollVanIsle -> RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (2/19/2008 9:05:10 AM)
thanks, PrimeVector. I have started a journal, and am working it into my daily habits. and i do have a section for things like this.

BabyDollVanIsle -> RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (3/22/2008 3:52:56 AM)
just an update. my Master gradually started using me more for his pleasure. i think it was mostly a complete lack of a 'sense of entitlement' to use another human being on his part. just spending time together, and developing the relationship was all that was required.

awakenednj -> RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (3/22/2008 5:27:41 AM)
Me too, but i tried to see it from the sub/slave side ;) mmm a begging seduction can be done, like a kitten crawling around Masters leg :d quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Well, of course all that leaves is... what do you feel comfortable with? smiles - it's hard isn't it? A certain shyness... on either side of the slash. Well... i have been known to have an idea or two, so if i may.... When he's in the shower, soap up your lovely breasts and wash him with them... leave little notes that say "Yes, Sir" on post it note pads all over... wear his shirt and ask him if you can help him dress and then take off the shirt, with some kind of fetish wear under it... ask him to show you HOW something is done - dripping candle wax, putting clamps on nipples, etc. and see what happens... when he arrives in the bedroom, be standing in a corner, nekkid, with an blindfold on, and an implement or two laid out... go shopping with him at Home Depot (or other hardware store) or kitchen supply store and slap yourself with the one or two of the items and giggle... buy a dog bowl, make dinner, put yours on the ground and eat that way (without words)... leave a lock of your pubic hair in a place where only he can see with a not that says "yours".. leave clothespins in his pockets... when going to bed at night, read a fetish book that has pix (and really read it)... and say hmmmmmm or oooooooooo at appropriate times. That's all i could come up with on short notice.... If you do a few little things, he'll see what you are thinking and know what to do. If that doesn't work, you can always lay over his lap with a note attached to your bum that says, "please spank me". OOO- good ideas... taking notes....

BabyDollVanIsle -> RE: How can a submissive encourage more play and more sexual use without topping from the bottom? (3/25/2008 10:09:13 AM)
Just and update to say that I will be deleting my profile on CollarMe, but not because I don't find the site very worthwhile. I mention this site occassionaly to my Master, and being very logical, he asks me why I still have my profile up since we have found each other. Realistically, I did put my profile up in order to find my Master, and to learn about the lifestyle. Now, all the learning i need I can learn from him in training (because really, it really is only about him and me...), and I have found him.. so why do I still have my profile up? He said this to me over a month ago, and finally I have come around to realizing that it is time to remove my profile. So just wishing everyone a fond farewell, and best wishes for your loves and life. I will be deleting my profile this evening.

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