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I keep hearing this BS (no offense) that "babies cry". My LO didn't. My lo was a super happy, well adjusted, extremely secure baby that smiled at the drop of a hat. He might have fussed or whined, but cry? There wasn't any need. I'm a sahm and my life has revolved around this lo and I tend to stay on top of things. He used to communicate just fine with me. It wasn't hard to read him and things had a flow. My lo was so easy going and happy that even if he didnt nap well and was exshausted, it made no matter. Still the same little person. He wasn't needy. He didnt need to be held constantly. Although I do practice attachment parenting and I think that is part of the reason why he was so happy and secure.

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ORIGINAL: EponasChylde

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Or remember this when it happens to you or someone you love.

Been there and done that. Watched my mother be in an abusive relationship for 9 yrs of my life. I saw him chase her with knifes, beat the shit out of her NIGHTLY, etc. For YEARS I watched this. Then one day, my mom woke up, found a set of balls and told the asshole to get lost. It was rough going for a couple of years, but we made it.

I've been divorced for 5yrs from a potentially abusive husband. He only had to slap me one time. One god-damned time. I was out. We were married less than 5 months when I filed for divorce. No way in fuck I'm going to sit there and let some man hit me...

Don't you dare fucking act like I don't know what I'm talking about. Not after all the times I helped clean blood off my mother's face, clothing, the furniture, etc. Do you know how much a head wound bleeds?A fuck of lot, that's how much. Don't patronize me by assuming my youth equates to ignorance. I've seen this shit first hand, and all a women needs to do to get out is grow a fucking spine.

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Anyone who has not been in this situation and/or is not sympathetic to someone in this situation should probably just move along. This is a person who needs help, not more persecution.
There are SO many reasons why a woman stays with an abusive man, but mostly, I think, it comes down to hope and love.
Even though there are many agencies, there are not nearly enough resources for everyone to take advantage of them. They are all over-whelmed right now, unfortunately.
OP; my heart goes out to you, and if, someday, you feel that you or your um's life are in jeopardy, if you do need to disappear, then you do what you feel is best.
Get legal advice first though.
*hugs*

~Christina

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ORIGINAL: Bound2One

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I keep hearing this BS (no offense) that "babies cry". My LO didn't. My lo was a super happy, well adjusted, extremely secure baby that smiled at the drop of a hat. He might have fussed or whined, but cry? There wasn't any need. I'm a sahm and my life has revolved around this lo and I tend to stay on top of things. He used to communicate just fine with me. It wasn't hard to read him and things had a flow. My lo was so easy going and happy that even if he didnt nap well and was exshausted, it made no matter. Still the same little person. He wasn't needy. He didnt need to be held constantly. Although I do practice attachment parenting and I think that is part of the reason why he was so happy and secure.

  Just a hint that you don't know everything ... just like we don't know everything about you.  I practiced attachment parenting on all 3 of my kids - cosleeping, nursing, baby wearing, the whole deal.  Babies are all wired differently.  You obviously know your own... but please don't insult my intelligence or my offer of assistance of my experience. 

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ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Grow a pair!
Abusers have to sleep sometime.
Take a Louisville Slugger or better yet a ball peen hammer to their asses and cripple them!
Not the knees, they can be replaced, do the ankles like the IRA does.

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Perhaps you should ask your mother what made her stay in this type of relationship.

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ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

Hi all - I'm going to try and help all of you understand something I never understood before.  All those women who stay in abusive relationships?  I get it.  Especially with mini thems involved.  I have a friend who hates her mother becuase her mother stuck around and never "did" anything. 

Trying to get "out"?  You might have a chance.  You might be rubbed in the dirt a good bit first.  Of course, you might get rubbed in the dirt and still not get out.  Trying to get "out" with mini people?  There's almost no chance in hell.  I never knew it, but prosecuting attornies can decide if they don't want to charge somebody.  Never in my life did I ever expect to hear a cop say "well, there are so many cases that need to be prosecuted, that the DA can't prosecute them all, but don't be disappointed if they don't" 

If you're in a bad relationship and you end up going to counseling and you become aware that its an abusive relationship - don't expect anything to be done.  Courts don't care, police don't care.  And if you have the forethought to get a restraining order to protect yourself and your mini people - don't expect your mini people to be protected.  All you'll be doing is protecting yourself while your mini people get thrown to the wolves.  Literally, no matter what you do.  Be honest, open up, tell the truth.  Hell, show proof.  Think it matters?  Newp.  Think the courts will care if person X did something bad around a mini person?  Amazingly no.  No... you'll hear..... "oh well maybe YOU had problems with person X, but I'm sure person X is fine"  LOLOL 

So the moral of the story is this :  if you find that you've royally screwed up, been absolutetly blind about somebody, and realise you're in a bad situation.  Do nothing!  There is no way out.  No saving yourself or others.  You are stuck.  Might as well adapt and get used to it, because that was the last mistake you get to make.

I've realized for the second time in my life.  The police and courts are not there to protect you, just harm you.  I am suprised at myself for being so suprised. =)

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ORIGINAL: DisenchantedLife

Sorry Bound.  No offense ment towards you.  Nor was it an insult of your experience or intelligence.  I've heard that excuse too often for my own good.  I get tired of hearing "babies cry" as an excuse for why its ok for my LO to be miserable.  I often would love to say "I agree, when their needs aren't being met".  It wasn't a personl attack and I'm sorry you felt it was.

Its okay Maestro - Bound felt it was a personal attack and even though it wasn't she still felt it to be.