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RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 11:28:15 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Only the BitchMaster knows...
Honestly, I don't see why it is always female subs being picked on for being fat.
Maybe the really fit, good looking guys are secure in their sexuality, and it is the flabby little girly-men and scrawny little weaklings who need to dom - they don't have a "true dominant nature and would not seek out the top role if they had better opinion of themselves."

Ever think of that, Bitch-dude?
Hey Faramir,
I don't think I've ever liked any post of yours as much as this one. Very Masterly of you to defend ladies against the masterbitch.
I can't even believe the gall to add a self esteem slant coming from someone with his looks and that name BeMyDogBitch M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 11:28:29 AM   
DungeonSpain


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/27/2005
From: Benidorm, Spain
Status: offline 		Hi out there in Collarme Land

As professionals we receive clients in all shapes and sizes ... big boys, big girls, and al shapes in between.
One of the things that WE have noticed per the internet is the number of sites that cater for the fuler figured woman.

Jane is a big lady, and I have always favoured them, on a personal note. The further curios fact which has struck us is that whilst we work with other Dommes, jane is requested more often than not ... despite her age and size. Perhaps these 'bigger girls' have presence ...something not easy to define, but you know it when you see it, and beyond this, it is those in senior management positions who seemto seek her out.

We would add that perhaps the writer should examine more the psychological make up of female subs in general ... the revelation might be that in 'real life', they are quite often in positions of power, and seek to redress the balance for themselves. It is not the size of the body, but more likely the size of the brain that causes them to seek anlternative fantasy life where decisions are made for them.

In conconclusion, I think that the writer has what the trick cyclists would call 'set and closure' ... because the writer has perhaps seen several 'bigger girls'

Fond regards to all ... sorry writer .. not getting at you personally ...rather ..folks who think like you.

Jane and Stew

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When the going gets tough, the tough beg for mercy

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 11:29:33 AM   
BeMyDogBitch


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2005
Status: offline 		No problems with esteem here, M-11, now that I know about it, no worries....

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 11:32:09 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		I used to be overweight, 5'4" and around 155 pounds. Sometimes I had low self esteem and had a hard time keeping boyfriends.

I lost 50 pounds by combining diets, running and exercise. I now weigh 105 pounds and have some serious abs, ha-ha! I still sometimes have low self esteem, and still have a hard time keeping boyfriends.

The only difference from the before me and the after me, is that its MUCH easier finding nice clothes that fit, and the guys that I can't ever seem to keep are much better looking.

The first part is nice. The second part ... I'm still trying to decide if dating better looking guys is a good thing.

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 11:36:53 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		So basically, what you're saying is that confident, secure female slaves nearly don't exist, yet you're not having any trouble finding any? A mite bit contradictory, don't you think? I, for one, am most certainly confident. Maybe a bit conceited. Regardless, I most certainly prefer being a sub. Topping doesn't do it for me. I desire to serve, regardless of whether I feel I'm having a bad hair day or not.
Furthermore, I've met my fair share of doms with head problems. It's not limited to submissive females. Body issues don't pick a specific demographic. They affect people from all walks of life.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 11:37:41 AM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		Not fat actually but I love my food a way too much to be skinny, just like I love sex and swimming and lots of life pleasures - would call myself one happy hedonist and not at all insecure (ok, I am not submssive), at least not insecure to the point to write this to anyone:
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeMyDogBitch

I wonder if some women are drawn to the dominant role because of penis envy?

In fact, when I saw this quote I lost any aspiration for "intelligent discussion".

Just shows how some people equalize being arrogant and having no manners with being dominant.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 12:13:13 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeMyDogBitch

Ever notice how many submissive women are BBW's? I wonder if it's really low self-esteem as a result of being unhappy with their bodies that drives their "submissive" desires. To me, this not true submissive nature, and I suspect that many of them would not be seeking the bottom role if they had a better opinion of themselves. I think that's why there is so much insecurity and emotional baggage that seems to go with dealing with BBW "slaves".
Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting anyone down, but personally, I prefer my slave(s) to be secure in their desire to be dominated, no matter what their body-type is. Know thyself, slaves.


Body size, self image and the psychological impact it has on someone attracted to the BDSM lifestyle has been done to death. BBW subs, BBW Dommes, portly male subs, portly Doms and the theories are that in a submissive, they are submissive because of poor self esteem, in Dom/mes who are overweight, they are Dominant to compensate for poor self image.

Global generalizations and subjective opinion cloud the fact that no matter what the body shape, you have to get to know the individual before you can understand their reasoning for being part of the lifestyle.

Frankly, unless people are in a friendship or closer relationship, it is no one's business to speculate on the whys and wherefores.

I'm fat, thats where its at - for me - you see?

Lady Shoshin


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(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 12:23:08 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline 		Actually, LadyShohsin, you look really lovely on your profile pic - like one great personality.
Thats all I care for - what people look inside.

In fact, skinny people give me creeps, I hate all those bones over me. Yuck.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to LadyShoshin)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 12:24:04 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

I used to be overweight, 5'4" and around 155 pounds. Sometimes I had low self esteem and had a hard time keeping boyfriends.



I was fat kid up until about age 22. I was clinically obese (I had a bodyfat % around 30%) and desperate to get help. I lost enough weight to get into a Marine Corps Officer's ascension program called "The Platoon Leader's Course" (PLC) and succesfully (barely) completed the first summer session.

I got kicked out the next year for being a "fatbody." I had gained it all back - I will never in my life forget standing in a passageway at the mainside hospital at Quantico in my skivvies, rolls of fat hanging over the side of the waist band while a major and two captains screamed at me, told me what a disgusting failure I was, that I should kill myself and remove my genes from the pool.

I know that my drive to shape my body and pursue the level this level of phsycial power is in part a reaction to that early self-image.

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 12:42:53 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		If you want to read some more discussion on this very topic, try these two threads.

http://www.collarchat.com/BBWs_and_BDSM/m_133977/tm.htm

http://www.collarchat.com/Re%3A_BBW%2C_BDSM%2C_Projection_of_Body_Values_onto_Women/m_134646/tm.htm

They were the first two that came to my mind when I read your post.

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Never Without Love

(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 1:02:59 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Ever notice how many submissive women are BBW's?

Ever notice statistics that show that 60% of the US population is overweight and 30% clinically obese? For your grand theory to be worth discussing it would be necessary for BBWs to be overrepresented in the population; however it appears you just tossed off your casual observation without considering the statistics for the population at large.

What this boils down to is that although you claim to want to start an intelligent conversation there really isn't enough intelligence there for it. Perhaps next time you should consider starting a thread in the Polls and Random Stupidy section.

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(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 1:10:25 PM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

I was fat kid up until about age 22. I was clinically obese (I had a bodyfat % around 30%) and desperate to get help. I lost enough weight to get into a Marine Corps Officer's ascension program called "The Platoon Leader's Course" (PLC) and succesfully (barely) completed the first summer session.

I got kicked out the next year for being a "fatbody." I had gained it all back - I will never in my life forget standing in a passageway at the mainside hospital at Quantico in my skivvies, rolls of fat hanging over the side of the waist band while a major and two captains screamed at me, told me what a disgusting failure I was, that I should kill myself and remove my genes from the pool.

I know that my drive to shape my body and pursue the level this level of phsycial power is in part a reaction to that early self-image.




Way to go man,

I was in the Navy and got booted as a fatboy and it didn't have any affect on me. Now I am 36 and even bigger. BUT in the last year I realized I wanted soemthing different for myself, and am dropping about 5 lbs a month.

But to get back on topic, I was kinky before I ever heard of BDsM or gained all that weight. As for my women, I prefer them bigger than a stick but in the end it's the brain inside that really turns me on.

Nuke }:-

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 1:34:59 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nuke718

Way to go man,

I was in the Navy and got booted as a fatboy and it didn't have any affect on me. Now I am 36 and even bigger. BUT in the last year I realized I wanted soemthing different for myself, and am dropping about 5 lbs a month.

But to get back on topic, I was kinky before I ever heard of BDsM or gained all that weight. As for my women, I prefer them bigger than a stick but in the end it's the brain inside that really turns me on.

Nuke }:-


Complete wild-ass guess here: you were in subs?

And yea, I was 6 years old when I started fantasizing about owning Wonder Woman (the cartoon one in Super Friends not Linda Carter) body and soul. I wasn't fat yet.

Good for you brother, and here's a thought. I don't think about or spend an iota of my energy or will on "not being fat." I have found that when my focus turned to performance and health, it all became easy. I seek a certain level of physical puissance, and I seek a level of health that easily guides my nutrition, exercise and rest choices.

I hope this makes sense - I think if you focus on "fatness" you have framed a game you can't win. When you focus on performance goals (strength, speed, endurance, atheletic performance, etc) and health goals the "not fat" part is an easy sidebar to the real road.

(in reply to Nuke718)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 1:36:56 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i think we are all getting a bit of track as to what the OP asked, welcome to the forum by the way, i think that in this lifestyle there are some, both Dom and sub that is here becouse they belive this is a last resort, they be fat or thin, pretty or ugly, they have a low self esteem and belive that perhaps in a sideroad likde bdsm they will find happyness when they think the rest of the world do not want them. But in my experience, the huge majority of pepole in this lifestyle is here becouse they are interested in it truly, for themself, not becouse of other reasons.

(in reply to Nuke718)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 2:36:51 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

Actually, LadyShohsin, you look really lovely on your profile pic - like one great personality.
Thats all I care for - what people look inside.

In fact, skinny people give me creeps, I hate all those bones over me. Yuck.


Thank you Lady Kassia, how nice of you to say so. I am wanting to get a pic of me in my new leather corset, it is totally awesome. Hard to find affordable leather corsets for BBWs but I did it.

As for subs, I play with thin people and folks with meat on their bones. I actually prefer to play with hefty male subs, more padding over the bones, more "canvas" for my "art". And there is just something about having a bear sized man call me Ma'am and open doors for me that sets my heart aflutter.

I like "eyecandy" as much as the next person, but candy does not a balanced meal make.
Give me meat & potatoes any day!

I love your pic, very evocative!

< Message edited by LadyShoshin -- 8/29/2005 2:41:55 PM >

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to Kasia)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 2:58:00 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Actually I have noticed and asked the question myself among friends. I perceive a much higher percentage of the female population in the scene to be very overweight versus the percentage of the female population in general. I have asked myself why. I don't have any clear answers.

I also ask the same thing about smokers, I perceive a much higher percentage of people in the scene to be smokers versus the percentage of smokers in general. I have asked myself why this might be. I don't have any clear answers.

I also am amused how any question on weight invariably turns into "We're great people, fat doesn't matter!" dogma.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 3:43:08 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


I also ask the same thing about smokers, I perceive a much higher percentage of people in the scene to be smokers versus the percentage of smokers in general. I have asked myself why this might be. I don't have any clear answers.



That completely surprised me, and for some reason intruiges me. Do you mean specifically "in the scene" or BDSM? How would you compare smoking in the scene not to the general population but to clubbers and "night life" people in general?

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 3:57:51 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		*YAWN*

Be well,
Julie

< Message edited by LadyJulieAnn -- 8/29/2005 3:58:14 PM >

(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 4:05:20 PM   
BrownCocoaBBW


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/10/2005
Status: offline 		Okay, I guess it is time to speak up now - being a dominant BBW who happens to also be a psychologist ... JohnWarren is absolutely correct in his statement that your hypothesis is a gross overgeneralization. I have been slim, athletically toned, pleasingly plump and for the last 15 years a BBW. I have been confident and secure whatever weight I happened to be at the time. Being dominant is at my core who I am.

At the same time, I think that I would be very small-minded if I were to believe that all people follow the same path to lead a life as a dominant, submissive, switch, etc. I think that people are who they are for various reasons. Some feel that they were born "that way." Others may have evolved into a certain role due to life circumstances. Still others may develop into certain roles as their ego develops.

In short - there are no shortcuts in life in predicting anything given a physical attribute. Some may call that prejudice.

~Ms Cherice

(in reply to BeMyDogBitch)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: BBW subs... I wonder - 8/29/2005 5:48:29 PM   
bulletproof


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

grabs some Cheetos, Twinkies, bon bons, a 2 litre Slushie and plunks down on her fat ass to watch the show





brings s'mores



(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 40
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