scottjk
Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kitttty
What is it that people sometimes say on this board? That there are no truly dominant women? No 100% Dommes or something?
Is it true that this is some kind of repeated debate?
Why? Why on earth would some people think that there are no truly dominant women while there are truly dominant men?
Seriously, this is an opinion that is kind of commonly held in the kink community?
You know, I'm not sure how to respond to this thread. It's not that I don't have an opinion, it's just that it would take quite a bit of explaining of my opinion, far more than I'm willing to do. Then there's the 'off-the-cuff' replies that tend to lump either genders together with a level of smugness that rankles. Makes me wonder if they only do it for the rankings. Honestly, they should get rid of the rankings. Gives some people a poor choice in a hobby. As for the cheap shots? (Shrug) At least I know who has better manners than others.
There's a difference between being ignorant and being foolish. One foolish person can impart an idea or concept that is fundamentally flawed and sound like an expert, and the other fools stand around making like a parrot, repeating the flawed concept until others with even basic common sense will believe it as well, or will give it credence so that they can feel like they belong.
Now, as for being an idiot? Well, an idiot is defined, in my view, as some one that changes the facts to fit their views. Now some people will call some one an idiot because, as many people are wont to do, he will not agree with them after a short declaration of, "Because I said so!" rather than explaining their opinion, and where to find the supporting evidence or information. This often looks, from my point of view, as a school-yard argument not even worthy of notice, but people notice, and the flame wars begin, going so far afield that eventually no one recalls what it was about.
The cheap shots regarding the Goreans is especially annoying to me, because I've spent time in various forums, chats, web sites and read the books. There are quite a few 'Goreans' out there that are intelligent enough to sort fantasy from philosophy. The idea that a philosophy is invalid simply because it was placed within the context of a fantasy novel is really quite thoughtless. Those novels covered several cultures and philosophies ranging from Greek, American Indian, Roman, Indo-Chinese, Innuit, and so on. If those philosophies are in a fantasy book, does that mean their invalid? Of course not. The problem is the people, not the books, and perhaps in large part, education in philosophy and the practice of logic, or rather, the lack thereof.
However, I'm going to attempt a condensed version of my opinion...
I've read a couple of books by David Deida, and he's got a view that is founded in spiritual yoga. He teaches that every human being has within them both the masculine and feminine. Both of these characteristics has greater strengths in some areas than others, but together as a whole, has strength in life overall. The masculine tends to be dominant, on a mission, logical and getting things done. The feminine tends to be passive, taking things as they come, emotional and supportive. Translating this into our lifestyle, it's reasonable that Doms would have a more dominant masculine side than a feminine side and their subs with a more feminine side than a masculine side. (I'm leaving out gender specific honorifics deliberately, because they are utter BS as far as I'm concerned.) It doesn't matter what type of gender based relationship it is, gay or het, but the more masculine and feminine the couple are, the more passion the relationship has. Some people have an equal measure of masculine and feminine in both of the couples, and accordingly, they tend to be very quiet relationships, not a lot of passion, but they're also happy with that.
Now, let me paraphrase a Gorean quote,
"If you wish your partner to be more feminine, you must be more masculine. If you want your partner to be more masculine, you must be more feminine."
The philosophy is sound, in my view.
Okay, I'm getting off my soap box.
_____________________________
Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.
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RE: No true dominant women? Why? - 
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