RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to speak in 3rd person?

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 6:06:09 AM

RCdc

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Totally!
And btw child, I think your hair rocks, been meaning to mention it forever, coz its one sexy colour.

the.dark.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 6:10:20 AM

childoftheshadow

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Awww, thanks. It's bright purple at the moment, but I plan to go back to the red

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 6:17:37 AM

thetammyjo

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That is an exercise we do during training as something for that person to explore and get a good sense of.

It can be fun to do from time to time because the emotional charge can be so great.

However, I'm be big believe in communication and each person having responsibility in the relationship and I find that always using third person hards the first and can send the subtle message that responsibility lies only with the dominant.

As with anything, over use or constant use can lessen the desired impact.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 6:24:14 AM

defiantbadgirl

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I would never want to speak in the 3rd person on a regular basis. It's too easy for something like that to become habit. What happens when one starts speaking in the 3rd person to their boss at work? What happens if their unmentionables pick up on it and go to school speaking in the 3rd person? If such speech has become a habit, the slave may not even realize he/she is doing it.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 6:39:27 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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the only time i speak in 3rd person is when i'm writing my concert reviews - i find that i can describe the events happening better that way than in 1st person.

other than that, it would be hard for me since i'm quite expressive with my floetry (lyrical flow of words ...patent pending) especially here.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 7:12:17 AM

parttimehotty

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i did it on occasion, but it was never required of me so it never became a habit........Thank God :)

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 7:22:26 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: schoenekitty

I was just wondering how common it is for slaves (preferably nongorian- sorry) to be required to speak in the 3rd person? How hard was it to get used to? Did/does it still feel like you talking? My master would like me to do it and I don't feel like it's still me talking, like I can't truely express myself honestly and emotionally in this manner... Any thoughts to that as well?

As noted, the thing that strikes me most about your post is your reference to "master". You are in a D/s (or M/s) relationship with this person and have agreed to submit. Unless speech restriction/restructuring was a hard limit, then it seems to me that if it is what he wants, then you should be endeavoring to do so. Now...perhaps you are but are looking for commiseration about the difficulties? for allies?

You need to communicate with him as well about the various difficulties you are encountering and about the fact that you really don't like it. If you have done so and he has taken those feelings into consideration and still insists on it, then...since you agreed to submit...it is your job to plow onward, trying to find a way to get into it. Perhaps consideration of what others have noted...the removal of "Me, My, Myself" from your situation as either slave or submissive is your master's goal...perhaps it is an achievement of more ritual in your relationship...perhaps it is a reminder of your place (submissive/slave) in the relationship as opposed to his...perhaps it is all of these or none of these but rather, something else entirely. While knowing the dominant's motivation is necessary for many submissives in order to submit, many dominants conversely do not feel the need to explain the motivation behind each and every thing they do. They feel that submission is just that...an agreement to yield your will to that of another without an explanation of why you should each and every time you are asked to do something not within your hard limits. That area of your relationship is something you know that we do not.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 7:25:15 AM

Dnomyar

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Gives Jefff a barff bag. Stick your head all the way in it when you barff. Start a new kink.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 8:53:52 AM

MsVampirella

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I have had a few submissives in the past who chose to refer to themselves in 3rd person. There was one who only referred to herself in 3rd person if Wwe were out in public. There was even one very special sub whom I DID refer to in 3rd person because it fit during the training. It depends on the training which depends on the 3rd person reference, in My world anyway.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 8:59:43 AM

CalifChick

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FR

Third person using pronouns doesn't bother me as much as someone referring to themself by their own name. Even my um that has not quite attained four years of age doesn't do that. So when I hear someone do it, it just makes them sound mentally challenged. If you are not high enough on the food chain (for lack of a better phrase at the moment) to use a first person pronoun, then why are you using a proper name to refer to yourself?

I have been known to slip into "hypothetical" speech, pretty much third person speech, when I'm feeling sassy and want to ask a question. For example, "if your girl were to stumble upon a book sale, what would be her spending limit before calling you?" This is a more emotionally charged question than it appears, since if I had to make a choice between eating or buying books, books would win every time.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 8:59:50 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: schoenekitty

I was just wondering how common it is for slaves (preferably nongorian- sorry) to be required to speak in the 3rd person? How hard was it to get used to? Did/does it still feel like you talking? My master would like me to do it and I don't feel like it's still me talking, like I can't truely express myself honestly and emotionally in this manner... Any thoughts to that as well?

I would say that this sort of speech is like learning another language. You have not stated whether or not he is being impatient with you. If you learn a new language it takes a long time to be able to express your emotional states in that new language, or to be able to converse fluently.... patience patience patience.

I would say that you may end up appreciating the struggle and take pride in accomplishing the task eventually. I think you should write down all your feelings about this, and then edit them into third person speak... have him read it once you are satisfied that you have conveyed your thoughts in a way that is positive. I also do not believe that just because you are having trouble completing a task set before you that your not compatible.... perhaps he does not realize the depth of your difficulty, perhaps part of what he wants you to learn is patience with yourself, or perhaps he doesn't expect you to be perfect at third person speak... these are expectations that you have thrust upon yourself... and perhaps... just perhaps, he may decide this trait in you and what it is doing to you is not worth his desire to have you do it...

This is not something I can ever imagine my Daddy inflicting upon me. For one, I have to write things that others judge with an eagle eye. For another, he and I have a thing for picking just the right word to express exactly what we are thinking... and at times we will pause and search for it and ask the other if they can think of an even better word... yes, we have a word fetish... we both love words.

I did do this at times with my former dominant, it was more for fun than some serious attempt to change my thinking about myself in relation to the rest of the world... and it was a fun game for us to play. It was not hard, because it wasn't something that he got uptight about. I can imagine if he had, it would have been a lot harder.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 1/29/2008 9:01:42 AM >

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 9:07:25 AM

meticulousgirl

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for me personally and i may just be strange but when i was required to do it i always felt more submissive to Him but then again that could just be me. At that time, the lifestyle was what i wanted, 24/7 was what i wanted and didn't have due to long distance so i think Him requiring it of me at that time was to keep me thinking about my place and where i stood with Him.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 9:12:48 AM

ProlificNeeds

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When I hit particularly submissive times during play, often in humiliation or begging, I will drop into a third person style of speach on occasion if I know it pleases my partner to hear it. I don't think I would want to learn to speak in third person constantly, my life style and that of my partners thus far requires discreetness among company. Such odd behavior would not be in the best interest of my partners if they wanted to keep our private life private.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 9:19:18 AM

Missokyst

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LMAO! That is too funny!
But I don't know how you waited a couple of months. I find third person speech to be too much of an affectation to suit me. If someone needs to think of themselves as that far above or below me they are not someone I could deal with.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: childoftheshadow

I dated a guy, many moons ago, who spoke of himself in the third person during sex. After a couple of months, I stopped him, in mid-shag, told him he was a twat and left.

It's just so insanely annoying.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 9:24:47 AM

childoftheshadow

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I liked him as a person (for the most part), and wanted to give him a fair chance. I was young at the time too, so that may have added to it. He was and still is a decent human being, just a twat in bed.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 9:30:02 AM

MistressNoName

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Third person speech is largely an online affectation (it's far easier to engage in third person typing than third person speech). Though to be honest, there are a (very) few who employ it real time as a part of their relationship dynamic. Demonstrating how infrequent that is, I have never personally met anyone who has done so despite having been around the block more than a few times.

It is far more common for real time folks to engage in third person speech for limited use during scenes.

John

Well, there is also a tradition in leather/old guard training methods whereby the 3rd person is used. This tradition is probably dying out, but still exists in some circles. While I understand the possible benefits of using this technique, it is rather awkward. However, I can see it being used for good reason and with proper consistency. What bugs me about it's use is that most ppl who do use it, do not use it consistently. And some ppl use it insincerely, as in some of the bugs who send me email, only playing some type of submissive game, thinking they are impressing me with their 3rd-person speak when really they are making my stomach turn.

OP, your Master really has to decide what is important to him and why. And bottomline, if he wants the speech restrictions, I hope you will be able to rise to the challenge and obey. It could be a wonderful learning experience for you. But, if he's just instituting a protocol that has no meaning for your dynamic or useful application, then why bother?

MNN

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 9:38:10 AM

Missokyst

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<<shudder>> Very few people do it well. Beth is probably the best example of someone who uses it correctly. But, It is painful to read from most people and when spoken makes me roll my eyes back so far I have to slap myself to walk away.
Kyst

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 10:07:30 AM

littlebitxxx

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Can't stand third person myself. I find it theatrical and just so phony. The same as when people are talking to little kids: "Come to mommy, let mommy tie your shoes. Mommy doesn't want you to fall coz then she would be sad." Drives me nuts. I was taught the spoken language at a very young age, like probably most of you ;) , and I was me and she was her and it helped get everyone straight in a crowded room.

Now writing is a different story. If asked to write about something I saw or did, I'll turn it into a story and use third person, as if narrating. Like a normal novel where the author is kinda just watching what goes on and describes it. Easier to step outside myself and describe from there than to write in first person.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 10:14:40 AM

ExSteelAgain

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I don't particularly like it either, but I suppose I could put up with it from a submissive. If she goes 4th person (omniscient 3rd person) I'd lose it.

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RE: Who is required to, or requires his/her slave to sp... - 1/29/2008 10:20:19 AM

DesFIP

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I'm required not to. Also not permitted to use lower case capitalization in emails. In chat, if I'm just being lazy then that's okay. But he spent a lot of time healing my damaged self esteem and the lower case/third person stuff would negate that.

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