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RE: Your physical appearance - 1/29/2008 11:34:22 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

MissMagnolia
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Faith, tell him to fuck off.

What she said.


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RE: Your physical appearance - 1/29/2008 11:49:52 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?


Would it bother me?  Not bother in a devestated kind of way, but I would feel lied to and end the relationship.  It would be a no brainer for me.  I don't settle and I do not support settlement either.  Nor dishonesty.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Your physical appearance - 1/29/2008 11:56:57 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?


Would it bother me?  Not bother in a devestated kind of way, but I would feel lied to and end the relationship.  It would be a no brainer for me.  I don't settle and I do not support settlement either.  Nor dishonesty.
 
the.dark.

I admire your strength....


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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:06:24 AM   
usedandpurrin


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline 		i would be crushed. i would understand intellectually that he loved me but i think (for me anyway) that physical attraction is hugely important in a relationship, as (again for me) is lust and sex. for me if my Master/Dom/Partner did not find me physically attractive i would be upset. once i calmed down i would ask myself the serious question of, how mych do i love Him, is it enough that i can love Him IN SPITE of his lack of attraction, if the answer is no then, i would leave. if the answer is yes i would focus on other parts of the relationship and try to put it to the back of my mind (although the devil in me might try to prove him wrong with some kinky outfits and maybe having some EXTREAMLY well done photos taken ;) )

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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:11:45 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

(although the devil in me might try to prove him wrong with some kinky outfits and maybe having some EXTREAMLY well done photos taken ;) )

We must have the same devil LOL cause I put a picture of myself in black lingerie on this profile LOL


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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:19:54 AM   
shivvy


Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Say you are in a LTR...and you both love each other. Would it bother you to find out that your partner loved you in spite of your physical appearance? When you thought they liked how you looked?


please, with respect i don't really understand "inspite of your physical appearance". to me, i luve people for who T/they are. i thank T/them as a whole package. i agree that looks changes as W/we get older, fashions change and all sorts really... but who W/we are inside is wotz inportant, and while bits might change, i still luv who that P/person is...
 
if T/they neva liked how i looked, i think i would be disappointed, and i would try my best and change so i did look how T/they liked. but then, before i change anything, i always ask 1st anyhow, and Master normally decides how i look, and if He don't like it, He makes me change it anyhow.
 
if it woz something i couldn't change, then i would just have to try harder i think.

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Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:25:51 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I don't know if I would identify it as strength.  But I believe it is because I believe in my own beauty.  I know some people might view that as not a very humble statement, but it's true.  I love myself.  I believe it is vital to love yourself, before anyone else can.  It's like submission, I have to know I can submit to myself before I can submit fully and truthfully to anyone else.
Now, I know for a fact I am not going to be beautiful or attractive to everyone, because everyone has their own personal taste.  But to someone who likes a big busted, average height, darkhaired, kinky submissive who likes bondage, rock music and nipple piercings - I will be stunning.  If I am not attractive to someone, I think it's being honest with myself that is important and I know there is someone out there that loves me as a whole, mummy tummy - children - scars - the lot.
As some people know, I was married.  As good friends as we are, he did and does not love the whole of me - and in my life, you get everything or nothing.  It would be a waste to hold back all the flavours I am, because you would only get half the recipe if you leave out key ingredients and end up with a bland mishmash and make me (in my head anyway) dishonest.  If I am truthful of who I am, no one has any power over me I don't want.  Own your beauty, own yourself and then you can be owned by people you want, rather than people who would want to, falsely.
 
Meh, but that sounds all deep. 
 
the.dark.

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RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:31:47 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't like lingerie, I am a more naked kind of woman than putting on some over priced slink piece of clothing. .
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

For a woman, sexy lingerie. It works every time, no matter what you look like.

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Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:36:34 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Yes YHMA, but you're not feeling insecure about how you look, because some arsewipe said something derogatory about you.

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Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:37:05 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		I get you dark...and I agree...I like myself ok...I do, Now I don't like everything about myself, but that doesn't mean I discount everything I am just because a FEW things bug me about myself. I did something once a few years ago...I have never told anyone I did this either...*deep breath*...I stood in front of a full length mirror naked and just looked at myself...not a glance, but I LOOKED....It was AWFUL I remember thinking "yeah I wouldn't wanna fuck me either" I have never done that again...My own personal "private" goal if you will, is to do that one more time before I leave this earth, and be able to say.."Yeah, you look good"

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:37:53 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		You're lovely, breathasone! ... Never let anyone tell you any different!

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Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

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Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 12:42:21 AM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Faith, tell him to fuck off.


Yeppers.. that about sums it up...

what an emotionaly abusive prick.

and folks wonder why some of us have issues... Hmm let me think.. wait a min.. oh yeah.. because of hearing about asshats like that.

I am so sorry that happened to you hun.. but I am glad you saw your worth was much greater then dealing with his BS.

It all comes down to psychology. Generaly when people pull stupid bs like that it is because they themselves are insecure.. and to feel better they need to gain control over another and manipulate that persons feelings, and sense of self worth. It happens a lot in abuse situations sadly where they begin to feel they deserve the abuse because they deserve no better, and it is some how thier fault. I am sooo glad you got out of that.

Some people should just have Asshole tatooed on thier forehead to warn the rest ya know?

Since that is highly subjective we could never get that law passed.. *sighs*

Gwyn

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Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 1:11:00 AM   
sammiebabygirl


Posts: 465
Joined: 10/23/2004
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear you...but the thing is...the person IS less interested sexually, but not emotionally.



Based on what you say here, I am going to assume that the person was once interested both sexually AND emotionally. Has anything changed in the relationship? Has anyone changed physically? How long into this relationship did this information surface and how did it surface?
 
There may be more here than what has been said.
 
jen

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Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 1:16:32 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Lots of factors are involved when I consider physical attraction. Women around 40 do change in ways that make it easier to notice their other attributes of intelligence, humor and common sense.

A big mistake is putting too much emphasis on beauty because you end up with someone who spends all her life trying to look gorgeous. I’ve been there. If you seriously want to be turned off, find a shallow, conceited woman who spends all her time looking in the mirror and trying on clothes. Give me the poet over the model any day.

It is like Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest. The guys decided even though she looked pretty good, no one wanted to fuck her. There are women like that. Lack of humor and a persistent pessimism are something that even Viagra can’t overcome.

So would I find someone attractive in spite of her physical appearance? Sure, because I value the above factors I mentioned. Still, most people look well enough and it is not like I run down the street looking for hideous women to test my theory on.

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Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 1:17:43 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		People have before,  I've been called everything from blubber butt lard ass thunder thighs, fasto, had people beep at me when I walked down the hall as a senior in 12th grade and I still didn't like lingerie lol.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Yes YHMA, but you're not feeling insecure about how you look, because some arsewipe said something derogatory about you.

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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 1:21:04 AM   
greyangelus


Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gwynvyd


Some people should just have Asshole tatooed on thier forehead to warn the rest ya know?

Since that is highly subjective we could never get that law passed.. *sighs*

Gwyn


Wouldn't it be grand though?   Then all the Assholes could go date each and leave us by-comparison normal and emotionally stable folks out of their drama and baggage.

Also on the plus side, the ratio of men assholes to women assholes is at least 6-1, so the remaining non-asshole population would be heavily skewed towards a woman heavy population, which would leave me in a pretty good spot .

Although, I may have just rendered myself up for "Asshole" tatto with that last statement

(in reply to Gwynvyd)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 1:40:45 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I hear you...but the thing is...the person IS less interested sexually, but not emotionally.



Based on what you say here, I am going to assume that the person was once interested both sexually AND emotionally. Has anything changed in the relationship? Has anyone changed physically? How long into this relationship did this information surface and how did it surface?
 
There may be more here than what has been said.
 
jen

Jen, yes 24 years ago my husband was attracted enough to say "I do" he had an affair a few years ago that we worked through and 2 years ago he and i had a talk a pretty deep talk and he decided I should explore my D/s needs without him...he said he wasn't at all interested. Physically I did change several times....I had 3 c-sections within 5 years. and stayed heavy longer then I should have...I did lose weight though...80 pounds. He 1st said he wasnt attracted to me those years ago when he had that affair....but he later said he didnt mean it.... Well he DID mean it...I know that now...which makes his "lack of desire" more clear to me now.

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 1/30/2008 1:41:02 AM >

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 1:42:31 AM   
LordMarkus


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		[/quote]
I hear you...but the thing is...the person IS less interested sexually, but not emotionally.
[/quote]

That is worse because the sex and the emotions are linked, and if the BDSM relationship the link is intense. Someone in the BDSM can have sex without emotions? I'm not talking about feelings of course but I don't think so. I think if someone accept other person in spite of the physical appearance is a double tramp, in one side because is accepting someone than don't really like and the reasons for do that never are good reasons, and in the other side because the other person is being deceived.

Best Regards

Lord Markus


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Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 2:02:09 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

in the BDSM can have sex without emotions?


I think people going to pro-Dommes... propably feel emotions, but perhaps not love?  and perhaps sex? (not sure if Pro Dommes do that btw)
ANd there are people who don't care about feeling when it comes to slaves...or when a MAster gives his slave to an other man.

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Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Your physical appearance - 1/30/2008 2:04:53 AM   
PrizedPosession


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline 		i personally would be very upset, i don't judge on looks but if my partner said He liked the way i looked then turned around and said He didn't i would be upset more so because they were lying.

And from what i have read i am sorry your partner is an arrogant ass, i'm sorry if i offended you with that but to me marriage is meant to be accepting and they don't love "in spite" they accept and love anyway. It's a shame because i would love to look as good as you do when i grow up. You are beautiful and very brave, keep doing what you do IN SPITE of his stupidity.
-bobcat
But that's just me.

(in reply to LordMarkus)
Profile   Post #: 120
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