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Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 4:28:56 PM   
Carmeldelight


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		On our first scene I found out that my Dom is Erectile Dysfunctional, so he beats the hell out of me because his cock will not stay hard. What should I do, should I leave the relationship or stay until he figures out it is not my fault? I do love him but I am tried of takening the blame for his lame cock. I did not become his pet for this type of abuse. What would you do??????
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 4:34:42 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		james was my first master.  he never was able to maintain an erection for the 4 years we were together.

fallcon lost the ability to maintain an erection because of cancer that eventually took his life.

al and i spent a weekend testing that cialis does, indeed, work.  (Daddy knew about this weekend and approved.)

no, it is not your fault that he cannot maintain an erection.  it is also not your place to be his whipping-girl about this frustration unless you chose to be.  and no matter what, love will not make abuse go away...and his treating you to something you do not consent to is abuse.

time to think long and hard...if he isnt getting medical treatment for the underlying cause of the ED, its not going to go away.  yeah, occasionally there is an equipment failure, but that isnt what i'm talking about.  blaming you and beating you  because the little guy is on vacation is not the solution for the problem.

good luck to you.  this is a hard decision to make.

kitten

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 4:35:19 PM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		His problem is his problem. The first part of negotiation is making sure you both agree to whatever your scene is. Hand him a business card for an MD, a psych, a counselor... and don't agree to another scene until he gets treatment of one or more sorts. Anything else is just empowering an abusive relationship, not a healthy one.

Leaving is your choice.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 4:41:37 PM   
Thorns82


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		Without consent, beating someone is just abuse.

(in reply to DelilahDeb)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 4:49:50 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		This is not pointing the finger at you, but more details are needed.  I want to ask are you sure he is "beating the hell out of you" becasue of his cock or is he just a heavy top?  What makes you think he is taking his issue out on you?  I am not saying you are but could you be confussing the two.

Mike


(in reply to Thorns82)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 5:42:56 PM   
Carmeldelight


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		He has told other peole I am the pet of his dreams, but Daddies cock will not stay hard for no more the one min. He wants to beat the hell out of me just because his cock is not stay hard. He has had a back operation and he is a sweet person aka (Diabetes ) with the two of these two illnesses Daddies cock does not work well, He is upset with me and he wants to make me his whiping post.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 5:49:59 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

He has told other peole I am the pet of his dreams, but Daddies cock will not stay hard for no more the one min. He wants to beat the hell out of me just because his cock is not stay hard. He has had a back operation and he is a sweet person aka (Diabetes ) with the two of these two illnesses Daddies cock does not work well, He is upset with me and he wants to make me his whiping post.


Thanks for the extra info but it still does not answer my question, when you are being beaten is he telling you it's because of his cock.  You have said he has told others that you are the pet of his dreams, could that be because he can take you further then you have been before.  I just don't see the connection between beating you and his cock not getting hard.

Mike

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 6:26:20 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, if you want to be beaten because his cock won't stay hard, stay.  If you don't, leave.  Seems pretty cut and dried to me.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 6:30:05 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

On our first scene I found out that my Dom is Erectile Dysfunctional, so he beats the hell out of me because his cock will not stay hard. What should I do, should I leave the relationship or stay until he figures out it is not my fault? I do love him but I am tried of takening the blame for his lame cock. I did not become his pet for this type of abuse. What would you do??????


You've had one sceene and you love him?  I hope that you've been spending time doing something together for a while?

Personally, I don't like the tone in which you are addressing this problem, from what I understand it causes many men embarressment and I think that calling his cock "lane" isn't exactly loving or supportive.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 6:34:17 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Who has that magic 8ball link?  Something doesn't add up here.  How long have you been seeing him?  Did you agree to SM play?  Is he violating any of your negotiated limits?  Did you ask him to stop?  Safeword?  Talk to him about this?  How can we answer this question, obviously we have no idea whether you should leave or not.  What do you think you should do?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 6:41:32 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Who has that magic 8ball link?  Something doesn't add up here.  How long have you been seeing him?  Did you agree to SM play?  Is he violating any of your negotiated limits?  Did you ask him to stop?  Safeword?  Talk to him about this?  How can we answer this question, obviously we have no idea whether you should leave or not.  What do you think you should do?


especially when you read her profile and notice what was the first day she could have written it.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 8:01:53 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

On our first scene I found out that my Dom is Erectile Dysfunctional, so he beats the hell out of me because his cock will not stay hard. What should I do, should I leave the relationship or stay until he figures out it is not my fault? I do love him but I am tried of takening the blame for his lame cock. I did not become his pet for this type of abuse. What would you do??????


i'd grow up before i tried passing this off as a legitimate question on a bdsm board; then again, people do it everyday on alt.com; perhaps you should wander on over there.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 8:44:28 PM   
Carmeldelight


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		No we had been together for a while. Daddy did not touch me until two and a half months later. Yes we did do other things beside D/s. I am supportive of his problem of being Erectile Dysfunctional, but as you know a man has pride. When to cock does not work, men feel their world is over.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 10:14:31 PM   
cautiousiasub


Posts: 199
Joined: 10/17/2005
Status: offline 		This sounds like an issue you need to bring up with him. I will agree with you in saying that ED is a very serious problem and that many men take it to heart, and I don't necessarily blame them. Bringing up his ED on a message board would likely upset him if he knew about it. I would suggest not calling it his lame cock when you have this conversation though.

_____________________________

"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam." - Johnny Carson

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/30/2008 10:50:11 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

On our first scene I found out that my Dom is Erectile Dysfunctional, so he beats the hell out of me because his cock will not stay hard. What should I do, should I leave the relationship or stay until he figures out it is not my fault? I do love him but I am tried of takening the blame for his lame cock. I did not become his pet for this type of abuse. What would you do??????

Talk to him...tell him you, and he can visit the Dr together, and he can get the medicine he needs for this problem.... but make it clear that his actions so far have been way inappropriate....


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 3:57:55 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		So ... when his cock is "fixed" ... what is the next thing he'll beat you for? Weather? Stock market? Malarky.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 4:05:49 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I'd walk, what good is a man without even the occasional boner.

NO man would ever blame me for his malfuntions of his own parts for more than 4 seconds of me sticking around. Love him all ya want, and don't complain or pack up n go. 

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 4:08:07 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

No we had been together for a while. Daddy did not touch me until two and a half months later. Yes we did do other things beside D/s. I am supportive of his problem of being Erectile Dysfunctional, but as you know a man has pride. When to cock does not work, men feel their world is over.


dragonsnot.

some males think their world is over.  men come to deal with the fact that they have a body malfunction, and either get over it, or go to a doctor and get help.  they do NOT take the fact that the short man wont rise to the occasion and use it as an excuse to beat their partner.  period. 

beat their partner in a BDSM sense?  sure, why not.  as a punishment because the cock wont come to a stand?  no.  the two things are entirely different matters.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 5:02:05 AM   
Carmeldelight


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		He has not come to terms with the fact the General (penis) is not working. He faults me because, I crushed his word. He told me when we first met that; he would be too much man for me to handle but when it came time to perform his penis could not get up the whole week-end. I know there is a saying when a man brags on his cock; he is not good in bed. I should have taken that as a sign, but I do know that sex is not everything.  

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 5:13:10 AM   
venusinblu


Posts: 165
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		If a man was beating me because his cock won't go up, and blaming me for it, I'd get the next bus home. 

I wondered if he thought that beating you would make him hard? Obviously not.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd be outta there - it all sounds very abusive and no-one appears to be getting any pleasure out of it.

Crushed his word? What does that mean?


< Message edited by venusinblu -- 1/31/2008 5:14:14 AM >

_____________________________

Louis: Do you think I would let them harm you?
Claudia: No you would not Louis. Danger holds you to me.
Louis: Love holds you to me.

~~~~~~

When the going gets tough, the tough get under the table . ... Edmund Blackadder

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
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