RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal

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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 10:26:14 PM

MissMagnolia

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I'm sorry. Do you want to spank me?

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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 1/31/2008 10:51:24 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I'm sorry. Do you want to spank me?

LOL....does it mean I think about BDSM too much because when I look in my fridge a few minutes ago and saw a container of "whipped topping" I said to myself.."Gee, thats an oxy moron".....LOL

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RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 2/1/2008 11:00:45 AM

adoracat

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Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maestro66babycak

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

Our problems lyes with him be erectile dysfunctional. I understand how he feels because last year I had found a lump in my breast. All I could think about was losing my breast,so I am trying to work this matter out.

That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard you say so far. YOU can not compare finding a lump in a breast to loosing control of the one thing that a man loves most- his penis! I am sure you love your breasts too, but even without BOTH of them YOU can still have sex! Your problem is NOT your Master/Dom's erectile dysfunction...your problem is a total lack of respect and compassion! SHAME ON YOU!!!

*reads this a few times*

where is it written that one cannot have sex if one cannot maintain an erection? james and i had a very satisfactory sex life for BOTH of us and he never maintained an erection, not in the 4 years we had together. there is more to intimacy than penis-in-vagina (or any other orifice) sex.

while yes, the two situations (lump in breast/ED) are not the same....i'd be much more worried about the lump. i've never known anyone to die from a limp dick, and lets face it, many people (women AND men) die from cancerous lumps.

i would have respect for the man no matter his penis situation...whether large, small, limp, whatever.. as long as *i* was not being blamed for something that is not within *my* control. same thing with compassion.

kitten, all standard disclaimers apply, your milage may vary, my opinions count for me and me alone, staring into the sun may cause blindness, etc etc etc

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RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 2/1/2008 12:11:53 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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His cock is limp - stay or go.
He's in denial about it - stay or go.
He blames you - stay or go.
He beats you because he can't get hard - stay or go.
You're a princess who can't handle ED - stay or go.
You're in a relationship that doesn't seem to mean much outside the bedroom - stay or go.

Er...seems pretty cut and dried to me, in my opinion.

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RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 2/1/2008 3:26:20 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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Dear OP,

i have to concur with those that you were putting on a "pity poor me i'm successful in business stuck in a sour relationship in which my Dominant whom i love has ED" act. for whatever the purpose/reason you posted this thread, you cannot dispute the sound advice from the gallery.

as mention by all, the decision to stay or go is still in your hands. just because you're a submissive/slave, it doesn't mean you check your brains at the door forgoing all common sense. imho, you haven't showed any concern for your health and safety as you continue to let this man beat because of his ED medical problem (and the keyword is his).

good luck in the choice you make

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 2/1/2008 3:27:51 PM >

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RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 2/2/2008 11:42:57 AM

badprofessor

Posts: 515
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Toronto, Canada
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Like many others have said, on the surface, it is unfair for your partner to take out his ED on you, but ultimately it is your choice to stay or go for this and all the other reasons stated in this thread.

If your dom knew beforehand that he had ED then he should have informed you before the emotional investment got too high--there's one reason not to wait until you are married.

For the sake of comparison, people routinely mistake me as being in my early to mid thirties, and even younger. I'm 45 (no picture, but take my word for it), and on occassion, I'm approached by women significantly younger than me. I know I look young and I am obligated to make sure they know I'm way older than they think.

Perhaps a closer analogy is this: I had a heart attack a little over a year ago. For the most part I am fine and I routinely go on athletic bike rides of 80-100K. I'm not about to broadcast this on a first meeting, but if it looks like things are progressing, I am obligated to bring this into the conversation.

Finally, there is a chance the guy didn't even know he had ED until their first sexual encounter. I may have ED myself, but I don't really know. It's been several years since I have been with anyone and for the most part things seem to work when I masturbate, but definitely not as well as in the past. I'm at the age where things start to tail off, plus I have some significant markers that put me at greater risk for ED. Should I warn potential partners that I have ED? If I don't, am I being deceitful? Should I take a chance, embarass myself, and hope I never see the other person again? And a million other rhetorical questions...

Things aren't always so simple, and like so many of the discussions in these forums, they apply far beyond the realm of BDSM.

< Message edited by badprofessor -- 2/2/2008 11:48:19 AM >

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RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 2/2/2008 12:37:23 PM

proudsub

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Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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I am wondering if he can get an erection masturbating. If so then not getting one when with you may cause him to blame you. You also haven't said whether his beatings are a limit for you or do you enjoy them? Also, has he checked the side effects for any medications he is on?

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RE: Erectile Dysfunction - 2/2/2008 12:49:10 PM

venusinblu

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Some men who have a scanty sex life can only get aroused via masturbation and visual stimulus, such as porn, and their bodies are somewhat atuned to being aroused in that way - if that is their only sexual release, one can understand it.

Chances are if this is the case, if you (the OP) saw him on a regular basis and he concentrated his sexual energies on the OP alone, that would mean no more masturbation or porn, he can retrain himself to become aroused with her.

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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 2/5/2008 8:48:39 AM

BossySSBBW

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Sounds like "Daddy" needs to figure out that he can still have intense orgasms without the hard on. Perhaps if he chills long enough to figure that out then he might lighten up on the beatings. If he doesn't figure out something soon, I say it is time to pack and leave.
Of course the pack and leave is just my personal opinion.
The knowing orgasm still happens without hard cock is personal experience.

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RE: Erectile Dysfunctonal - 2/5/2008 1:34:22 PM

Rayne58

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Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossySSBBW

Sounds like "Daddy" needs to figure out that he can still have intense orgasms without the hard on. Perhaps if he chills long enough to figure that out then he might lighten up on the beatings. If he doesn't figure out something soon, I say it is time to pack and leave.
Of course the pack and leave is just my personal opinion.
The knowing orgasm still happens without hard cock is personal experience.

Sir has ED caused by diabetes and high blood pressure. He can get firm, but not hard enough for penetration much of the time. He is able to cum through blowjobs though and I have noticed that He is not rock hard when this happens. I use my hand to support His penis, and He can still thrust.

Sir does give me a few (light) cuts with the crop to "encourage" my efforts

But He would never beat me black and blue just because He couldn't get hard.

Sounds like "Daddy" needs to get himself to the doctor and find out why he's having problems - sometimes it is treatable.

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