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RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 12:01:53 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

I like you Sundowner. You know where to place the blame.  Mmmm have a question. Is  flirting more about you feeling good about the reaction you get back out of it. If so isnt that jerking the other persons chain.


I'm not sure if this question was for me, but I will answer it.
No, I do not yank other people's chains, because I do not lead someone to think I am interested in them as more than an attractive friend.
As I stated, I do it because I enjoy it, because it makes other people feel good, which in turn makes me feel good.
You are aware that submissives enjoy pleasing, no?
Most of us are sophisticated enough to be able to do so without committing a social faux pas.
Very seldom does one mistake good-natured banter for the more serious come-hither attempts.
There is a decided difference in tempo, in mood, in the looks that are exchanged...
It's the difference between an affectionate peck on the check between exes, and a sultry spit-swap between sex starved lovers.

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 12:33:36 PM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline 		Flirting I believe is an artform.  It also assists me when I am doing business. My clients feel good when their jobs are intense, the majority of them are in the construction industry nationwide, they get a moments reprieve and have a nice voice flirting with them over the phone...we both know it's harmless, and I let them know that its all in fun in their hard work day.  Granted, it also makes them look forward to calling me to take care of business, the flirting is just a bonus for their day, and I'm more than happy to provide it to them.

I will admit that my flirting has gotten me into trouble from time to time.  What I think is harmless and all in fun, another can take as absolutely serious and that an "incredible connection" had happened - even though it didn't.  I feel absolute remorseful when that has occured.  I am always gentle in my explanation, and always take full responsibilty, but it still feels awful that I didn't read the signs well enough to see that they did not take my flirting as harmless fun.

I know that I don't even realize half the time that I'm flirting because it has always been part of my nature.  I tend to touch people when I talk to them, their arm or their hand, which gives me a connection during a conversation, but it has been construed as flirting, when it's not on my part. 

Another thing that my flirting gets me in trouble is that when I'm laughing and enjoying myself and say flippant, teasing, flirty remarks, others take it completely wrong...I'm just being a social butterfly/mini diva.  I have absolutely no worries what others think of me, I'm very comfortable in my skin, and I do enjoy having boisterous fun, that tends to bring the moths towards my lightheartedness, and that makes them be adventurous in their advances towards me.  Many have wanted to "cage" me for their amusements...which makes me even more flippant and at times sarcastic if they don't hear me the first time in regards to, I'm just having fun and trying to liven up the environment!

I try to keep the flirtations remarks to a minimum when I am with another, but sometimes it's just so darn hard to control!!!  People are just so interesting when you can pick up on their vibe and open them up to enjoy a fun ride of playful banter, and not necessarily sexual!

_____________________________

~always the gleeful one~

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 12:38:37 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

OK. You flirt and the person takes it the wrong way. After you correct them how do you feel when you see them again.



One of the advantages of getting old Dnomyar - I haven't done embarrassment in years.



(Except when Cali takes me to task of course, or when sweetwenchie winks at me)

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 12:45:11 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		~winks at Sundowner again~  

Oops, and to answer your question Dnomyar... if that  has happened to me, it was handled in such a way that the consequences did not even stick in my mind. 


< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/21/2008 12:47:35 PM >

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 12:54:50 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Flirting. I don't think I would consider it an art form, it's just another form of communication. You shouldn't flirt with people you are not interested in...Just common sense. You shouldn't flirt with people that are attached, especially when sig other is present...Bad form.

So many people seem to have a problem with communication...I would think that very few of you should attempt flirting...You are just going to fuck it up...Which will inevitably lead to you getting raped and killed or in the middle of a marital dispute or being pursued by someone that you have no interest in...Or you will probably be fired and have to pay out a huge sum of cash due to the negative yet rightful outcome of your sexual harassment suit.

Don't do it.

_____________________________



(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 1:23:43 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Rape can be a consequence of many things... flirting would be the last one i would consider, as rape is generally about power, not sex or sexual attraction.

As for the lawsuit, they would be hard pressed to win a case against me as we all sexually harrass each other.  Have even had my supervisor smack my ass with a ruler    that was... odd.

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/21/2008 1:24:32 PM >

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 1:26:45 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Flirting. I don't think I would consider it an art form, it's just another form of communication. You shouldn't flirt with people you are not interested in...Just common sense. You shouldn't flirt with people that are attached, especially when sig other is present...Bad form.

So many people seem to have a problem with communication...I would think that very few of you should attempt flirting...You are just going to fuck it up...Which will inevitably lead to you getting raped and killed or in the middle of a marital dispute or being pursued by someone that you have no interest in...Or you will probably be fired and have to pay out a huge sum of cash due to the negative yet rightful outcome of your sexual harassment suit.

Don't do it.


Sounds like advice from one whos been down that yellow brick road......

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(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 1:29:52 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Flirting. I don't think I would consider it an art form, it's just another form of communication. You shouldn't flirt with people you are not interested in...Just common sense. You shouldn't flirt with people that are attached, especially when sig other is present...Bad form.

So many people seem to have a problem with communication...I would think that very few of you should attempt flirting...You are just going to fuck it up...Which will inevitably lead to you getting raped and killed or in the middle of a marital dispute or being pursued by someone that you have no interest in...Or you will probably be fired and have to pay out a huge sum of cash due to the negative yet rightful outcome of your sexual harassment suit.

Don't do it.


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 1:36:52 PM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

~winks at Sundowner again~  

Oops, and to answer your question Dnomyar... if that  has happened to me, it was handled in such a way that the consequences did not even stick in my mind. 



Omigod she's winked at me again.        <breathes deeply to avoid the panic attack>

And if this is going to continue sweet, how's about we set rape as a hard limit?


(It'd just be so shaming for me to be raped by you. And then Cali might get ideas too).

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:20:00 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry but in my case I would have to be sexualy attracted to the person to want to rape them.

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:27:34 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I love to flirt, but I only do it as a friendly gesture, not with the goal of "stealing" anyone away.  And of course, I only flirt with those that actually interest me.  No pity flirting here!

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:32:04 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Flirting. I don't think I would consider it an art form, it's just another form of communication.


I understand what you're saying and like any form of communication, you can suck at it or be exceptionally skilled.  To me, though, flirting seems to fall into that category with art or music; it's communicating, but on a different level.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

You shouldn't flirt with people you are not interested in...Just common sense. You shouldn't flirt with people that are attached, especially when sig other is present...Bad form.


I don't necessarily agree or disagree, but domi... I gotta say that I'm surprised.  I would never have imagined you to say this.

Unless you were being sarcastic.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:35:24 PM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		pity flirting is the only kind I get.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:44:36 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

pity flirting is the only kind I get.


Thats better than being pitifully raped!

Jeff

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:46:14 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

pity flirting is the only kind I get.


Thats better than being pitifully raped!

Jeff

Yeah that would just make me mad! lol


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:58:10 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Flirting. I don't think I would consider it an art form, it's just another form of communication.


I understand what you're saying and like any form of communication, you can suck at it or be exceptionally skilled.  To me, though, flirting seems to fall into that category with art or music; it's communicating, but on a different level.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

You shouldn't flirt with people you are not interested in...Just common sense. You shouldn't flirt with people that are attached, especially when sig other is present...Bad form.


I don't necessarily agree or disagree, but domi... I gotta say that I'm surprised.  I would never have imagined you to say this.

Unless you were being sarcastic.



If someone is being overly flirtatious right in front of someone's s.o. in most cases it would be viewed as being disrespectful. To know when to flirt or not is the test. Flirtation is about fifty percent of being outright hit on...It's just a come on to a lesser degree.


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(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 2:59:48 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I was gonna flirt with domiguy, but now I'm skeeeered to do it.

Cali
(who can flirt with both parties in a twosome)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:06:29 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat<snipped, lots>i have friends that i flirt with.  i am naturally a bit flirtatious.  but those people know where the line is drawn, and where overstepping the boundaries begins.
 Hmmm. I don't like to flirt or be flirted with and I think the above has a lot to do with that. I'm not always good (at least I don't think I am) at letting people know where my boundaries are, it is hard for me to say no or establish the lines. It feels a lot of times that flirting is supposed to lead somewhere and I don't really want to go there so I avoid the whole thing. I'm not sure any of that made sense lol.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:14:17 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

If someone is being overly flirtatious right in front of someone's s.o. in most cases it would be viewed as being disrespectful. To know when to flirt or not is the test. Flirtation is about fifty percent of being outright hit on...It's just a come on to a lesser degree.


I've got to agree with you, and it's one of the reasons I try not to flirt with anyone here in the forums.  While Firm knows that I adore him and our relationship is secure, those who I might casually flirt with and others just reading don't have that inside information.  The very last thing I want to do is make him look like a fool.  That might be reading too much into what other people might think and I doubt Firm really cares, but I can't help considering what I think when I see an attached dom here flirting with another sub... I feel sorry for the dom's own sub.

Of course, I'm not in a poly relationship and people who are more open-minded might not feel that way, but... *shrugs*

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:19:53 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Treasure, that's exactly why I asked my Dom about it before he was ever my Dom.  I did not want to make him look bad, or foolish, or whatever. He gave me his view on it, and we're cool with it.

Cali
(makes a note to try to remember not to flirt with Firm OR Treas)


< Message edited by CalifChick -- 2/21/2008 3:20:23 PM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 60
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