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RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:24:36 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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Let me explain....It is not an "art form." It is an etiquette. Flirting can be harmless...Like when you casually flirt with a waitress or a bartender...Not going to actually lead up to anything other than a meaningless conversation or maybe a free drink or two.

Under most definitions of flirting you would also find the word "attraction." It usually should be steered towards someone that you actually have an interest in doing. Most men are stupid when it comes to flirting...they will miscontsrue someone who is only being "nice" as showing interest. We are visual critters...are little brains prevent us from having to go through the time consuming effort of attempting to distinguish between the two....Nice or flirting? What's the difference?....Fuck'em all and let God and the courts sort'em out.

There are places to flirt...The workplace can be cool depending on the sicheeeeation and rules and guidelines that might be in place. Funerals are alright...Probably not a good idea to try and bang the deceased's spouse. So just run with the health club, bar, social clubs, parties, and grocery store....I personally would recommend the frozen food section. I have heard that church can be a good spot to find some uptight snatch in need of some serious demonic release...Never gone, so it is all speculation at this point.

I highly suggest that the majority of you leave the flirting to the pro's...Just going to end up killed or unhappy.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/21/2008 3:25:19 PM >

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Post #: 61

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:27:14 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I would be one of the pro's!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 62

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:28:44 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

If someone is being overly flirtatious right in front of someone's s.o. in most cases it would be viewed as being disrespectful. To know when to flirt or not is the test. Flirtation is about fifty percent of being outright hit on...It's just a come on to a lesser degree.

I've got to agree with you, and it's one of the reasons I try not to flirt with anyone here in the forums. While Firm knows that I adore him and our relationship is secure, those who I might casually flirt with and others just reading don't have that inside information. The very last thing I want to do is make him look like a fool. That might be reading too much into what other people might think and I doubt Firm really cares, but I can't help considering what I think when I see an attached dom here flirting with another sub... I feel sorry for the dom's own sub.

Of course, I'm not in a poly relationship and people who are more open-minded might not feel that way, but... *shrugs*

I know what you mean....I always feel the "tension" between us...As far as making Firm look like a fool...Do you ever read his posts?...lol. Come to Domiguy....A world of pleasure and an Obama '08 bumber sticker await you.

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Post #: 63

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:30:31 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I would be one of the pro's!

Thin line twix pro's and ho's.

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Post #: 64

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:30:58 PM

TotalState

Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline

I was about to say that it seems like a lot of people don't know the difference between coming on to someone and flirting with someone. This naturally leads to all sorts of misunderstandings.

Agree with Domiguy here that it matters where you do it. There are unwritten rules you don't break, etiquette to follow, and faux pases to avoid. Proceed with caution.

_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 65

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:39:32 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I would be one of the pro's!

Thin line twix pro's and ho's.

Like a tightrope thin. Fortunately I have good balance.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 66

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:43:08 PM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Treasure, that's exactly why I asked my Dom about it before he was ever my Dom. I did not want to make him look bad, or foolish, or whatever. He gave me his view on it, and we're cool with it.

Cali
(makes a note to try to remember not to flirt with Firm OR Treas)

Oh Cali - you have a Dom? Cruel world, take me away from all this.

And sorry TreasureKy (the threesome thing) and "The very last thing I want to do is make him look like a fool." I hope you understood that fooling around in here is the gentlest form of flirting and never intended to upset you. Public in-forum flirting is, to my mind, as innocent as it can get.

Unless it's with Cali of course, where I hang on her every word.

And now to find she's heartlessly two-timing me - playing with my heart with callous disregard for my mental well-being. Well that's it - I'm off to find sweetwenchie to see if she still has her eye infection.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 67

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 3:58:48 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Treasure, that's exactly why I asked my Dom about it before he was ever my Dom. I did not want to make him look bad, or foolish, or whatever. He gave me his view on it, and we're cool with it.

Cali
(makes a note to try to remember not to flirt with Firm OR Treas)

lol... You're fine, Cali, and I realize it sounds silly. I honestly don't mind a little innocent flirting.

But it kind of goes back to intentions and perceptions... if you were to flirt with Firm with the intention of making a serious overture, even if Firm only perceived it as a casual flirt for attention and flirted back, it could be seen as him encouraging you to think that there were possibilities.

Unless, of course, he made it clear to you that he wasn't serious or taking your overture seriously. But that kind of ruins a good flirt, doesn't it?

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 68

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 4:07:12 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

So, Treasure, let's say Firm's single brother was visiting you, and (in front of Firm) said to you, "So, how is the most beautiful girl in Louisville doing?", and kissed you lightly on the cheek?

Let's say this was said in a light-hearted jovial way, you didn't get that weird feeling that someone who is doing something underhanded does...

Now let's say the same brother is visiting, he waits until Firm is out of the room, he comes up closer to you than you're comfortable with, and looks you right in the eye. He reaches out and draws you near(er) to him, and growls in your ear; "So how is the most beautiful girl in Louisville doing?", and nuzzles your neck.

Is there a difference? Do you really think that the first one is someone 'testing the waters' to see what he can get away with? Or is it someone who is being sociable, and tipping his hat to your beauty and to his brother's good taste?

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 69

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 4:19:04 PM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

I don't "do" jealousy, pet.

Nothing wrong with "possibilities". It's the "actualities" that are worth worrying about.

Firm

PS. Domiguy ... "foolish", huh?

You're on my list for a "whacking"

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 70

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 4:19:59 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

Oh Cali - you have a Dom? Cruel world, take me away from all this.

Sundowner... I'm going to go out on a limb here and call you out on something. You asked for it buddy. Not only did you know I had a Dom before this moment, but you wrote to him to make sure it was okay to talk to me. So there. Pffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Cali
(who can look bad all on her own without HELP, thank you very much)

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 71

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 4:33:43 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

I don't "do" jealousy, pet.

Nothing wrong with "possibilities". It's the "actualities" that are worth worrying about.

Firm

PS. Domiguy ... "foolish", huh?

You're on my list for a "whacking"

The outcome is inevitable...She will be mine...Perhaps a name change is in order....Domistreasure? Got a nice ring to it.

Looks around to avoid "whacking."

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/21/2008 4:34:00 PM >

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Post #: 72

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 4:35:49 PM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Is there a difference? Do you really think that the first one is someone 'testing the waters' to see what he can get away with? Or is it someone who is being sociable, and tipping his hat to your beauty and to his brother's good taste?

Don't get me wrong, Christina... I do agree with you that there is a distinct difference. I don't think all flirting is "testing the waters" and that is why I said some is merely for attention and to make people feel good.

In the first example you've given, I do see the brother as just giving a compliment in a flirting fashion. As long as Firm approves, so do I.

I don't, however, see the second example as flirting so much as an overt pass. My perception of his intentions and my reaction would be much different, even though Firm doesn't do jealousy. However, if I was to coyly flirt back and say, for example, "I'm wonderful now that you are here", I suspect that Firm might not feel that I was appropriately communicating my own intentions.

lol... I may be wrong...

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 73

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 4:41:28 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

No, I totally agree. The second example has the 'ick' factor all over it.

~Christina

p.s. I do have to say that Domi'sTreasure does have a nice ring to it.

I'm just sayin'...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 74

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 5:13:47 PM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Is there a difference? Do you really think that the first one is someone 'testing the waters' to see what he can get away with? Or is it someone who is being sociable, and tipping his hat to your beauty and to his brother's good taste?

Don't get me wrong, Christina... I do agree with you that there is a distinct difference. I don't think all flirting is "testing the waters" and that is why I said some is merely for attention and to make people feel good.

In the first example you've given, I do see the brother as just giving a compliment in a flirting fashion. As long as Firm approves, so do I.

I don't, however, see the second example as flirting so much as an overt pass. My perception of his intentions and my reaction would be much different, even though Firm doesn't do jealousy. However, if I was to coyly flirt back and say, for example, "I'm wonderful now that you are here", I suspect that Firm might not feel that I was appropriately communicating my own intentions.

lol... I may be wrong...

Not "doing" jealousy doesn't mean I don't care ... and wouldn't end up burying someone out in the back forty ... just that I don't sweat the small stuff.

Firm

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 75

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 5:17:31 PM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

The outcome is inevitable...She will be mine...Perhaps a name change is in order....Domistreasure? Got a nice ring to it.

Looks around to avoid "whacking."

... perhaps you are being mislead by this BDSM venue as to my meaning of the word "whacking". Think Sopranos, domi ..... think hard ....

Firm

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 76

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 5:20:59 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

*lol* HoneyMaster was raised in the Bronx, and is part of an old Italian family.
You may want to speak to Him if you need help, Firm.

~Christina

p.s. sorry Domi...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to FirmhandKY)

Post #: 77

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 5:22:57 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

I flirt, Sir flirts... and it's all good. He knows I flirt and doesn't have a problem with it. I would not flirt with another male when I am with my Sir.... all my attention is on Him.

girly

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i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to FirmhandKY)

Post #: 78

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 5:43:21 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Most of the people that I know who flirt do so casually. Flirting for many people is casual, just light banter to get better service at a restaurant, an extra inch of fabric, ect. Flirting for those of us who do is simply being charming. LOL I have never bared my shoulder or breast, or even used sexual inuendo when flirting. I have never run my fingers over someones body to flirt. Such actions would be beyond gentle flirtation and carry over into direct interest.
I see a non flirtatious world as one without smiles, one where you have to keep your head covered and body wrapped tightly in garments, in case someone would see you and assume you desired them. Flirtation is not always sexual. For many of us it is just being memorable enough to have someone think of you later and smile.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Let me explain....It is not an "art form." It is an etiquette. Flirting can be harmless...Like when you casually flirt with a waitress or a bartender...Not going to actually lead up to anything other than a meaningless conversation or maybe a free drink or two.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 79

RE: Just Flirting... - 2/21/2008 5:53:02 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat<snipped, lots>i have friends that i flirt with. i am naturally a bit flirtatious. but those people know where the line is drawn, and where overstepping the boundaries begins.

Hmmm. I don't like to flirt or be flirted with and I think the above has a lot to do with that. I'm not always good (at least I don't think I am) at letting people know where my boundaries are, it is hard for me to say no or establish the lines. It feels a lot of times that flirting is supposed to lead somewhere and I don't really want to go there so I avoid the whole thing. I'm not sure any of that made sense lol.

yes, it made perfect sense to me. and i dont flirt with ALL my friends, for that reason. just like some people arent physically affectionate, some people arent flirtatious, and i understand that.

i have friends that i know i can say "i really need a hug" to and some i cant. and that's fine, i appreciate all my friends for who they are.

kitten

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 80

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