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RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 3:19:54 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I would be pretty amazed if there are no dommes who are looking for an older sub.

In any case, ASSUMING that there aren't any, and whining about it, isn't the way to find them.

My search settings are set at:
Male
Straight
Submissive
over 6'2" tall
none out of the country
none out of state
Age 40 to 69

Let's see. I'm descriminating against:
Female subs
Couples
bisexual subs
Dominant males
short men
foreign men
non residents
men under 40
men over 69

See slimsub? LaM's right. You're in My age range. We Do Exist!
Keep trying.

<exits singing 'short people got no reason...short people got No Reason...'

~ Texas Maam

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 21

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 7:00:16 AM

slimsub

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

I have been on this site for years; not just one week. I had a different profile but deleted it years ago when I met my lifestyle Mistress on this site but she moved all the way across the country. In retrospect I should of gone with her but with children and grandkids on this coast I was not ready at that time. I have lost touch with her but even at my ancient age

hope springs eternal so I am trying again and the day I posted this thread, I guess I was really down in the dumps. Once again, thx for all the comments (pro/con).

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 22

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 9:42:20 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

So you HAVE found a domme on this site. The problem is just that she moved, and you didn't go with her.

What, then, was the purpose of this thread?

(in reply to slimsub)

Post #: 23

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 10:21:36 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I met my lifestyle Mistress on this site but she moved all the way across the country. In retrospect I should of gone with her but with children and grandkids on this coast I was not ready at that time. I have lost touch with her

You had a lifestyle lady and you chose to stay with your grown children instead of relocate? Sounds like you made a choice, and while there is nothing wrong with that choice, now is not the time to come show ambivalence about your decision and indeed whine.
Hang around and remain open to new possibilities. Wish you luck, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to slimsub)

Post #: 24

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 11:44:46 AM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

Slimsub, what age range of Dommes are you approaching now, as you have had success before?

A submissive friend of mine complains long and loudly about age discrimination when trying to find a mistress these days, but he approaches women thirty years younger than he is, "Because I'm a man, and I can't help who I'm attracted to." Since *I'm* not in my twenties anymore, you can imagine the sympathy I have for his position.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to slimsub)

Post #: 25

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 11:58:13 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

And I have to agrere with Misstoyou. This could run along the same lines as the many *rants, complaints, whines" We see about the money dommes and tribute problem.
If you're looking for the sexy young "thang" who looks fabulous in latex, you might be setting yourself up for rejection.
My personal opinion...Most of the time, older is better on both sides of the whip. There are very few young Dominas who have truly come into their power. But most of the complaints I hear from the boys is that all they want is money, and they really don't know what they are doing. Or else they are Pros. Good Pros, but Pros, nonetheless, and they are unhappy about that. There are also very few "submissives" who are that dedicated at such a young age. It works both ways.
Be patient. And take a good long look at who you are approaching and how you are approaching. It might not just be your age. Ya know?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 26

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 12:39:17 PM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

Out of curiousity, slimsub, what is the age range of those that have prompted your posting...those that have rejected you by your age alone? What has been the age difference?

K

(in reply to slimsub)

Post #: 27

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 3:51:23 PM

slimsub

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

FTop, 50+. More than one response said I couldn't cut it at my age or words to that effect. Not very classy.

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 28

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 4:24:04 PM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slimsub
FTop, 50+. More than one response said I couldn't cut it at my age or words to that effect. Not very classy.

Another thing I'm wondering, is if the women may have had a listing, within their profile of a preferred age range, such as I have in my own profile. This may account for a curt response, if it was clearly listed.

While I do list a "range," I am not locked to it, but I'm also seeking a LTR, and hope to enjoy a man that shares my own interests (vanilla and otherwise). <I know there are other women seeking the same.> Sometimes the age gap presents the suggestion of too much of a difference. My preferred age range is listed at 35-45 yrs. of age, and when a man of 22 or 65 responds, I have to wonder why. Now that's WAAAAYYYY outside the range, and suggests that vast difference I was referring to.

As I said earlier, a play-only relationship probably wouldn't be as much as an issue, as long as interests and attraction were there, but a LTR with a big age gap, is hard for me to imagine working.

slimsub, would you enjoy a Domme that was fifteen years older than yourself? Your profile shows you at 65...so would you enjoy a Domme that's 80? Would age matter then?

Also, I think like GoddessDustyGold pointed out, it may not be your age, but a possibility of your approach that may be causing rejection. Using your age to reject you, may just be an easier way to do it, as it's more obvious, and quicker to say.

Just don't give up.

K

(in reply to slimsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 4:30:27 PM

PetTeacher

Posts: 57
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Age is just a number….. give me a penny every time I heard that one. Darn straight it is just a number and it is a number that means something and often something very important.

Would I have interest in someone in their 60’s?.......... perhaps if I was able to connect with them on some level other than thinking of him as a grandfather figure.

As a general rule when viewing profiles, I perform my search no more than 3 years younger and up to 10 years older my age. Why? It is based on my long term experiences for the past 17 years of chatting with people over the computer. I’ve been chatting online since the 80’s back before the world wide net was open to the public when we use BBS (bulletin board systems).

Men younger than me have pretty much been too immature for my liking & tagged as wishy-washy due to their wax & waning concerning a hand full of issues. Men 10 years older tend to be in a totally different mindset that I am. There a few outliers such as the lovely gentleman (Biff2250) I meet last night who is 18 years older. Line up 100 men of various ages and he would make the top 10. It is a no-brainer. He is young at heart, funny, physically fit, and very well rounded.

Look at it this way, if I use the same rules in my late 40’s to 50’s, someone in their 60’s will have a better shot of being my sub. By then, I might be too old for many of you sexy men in your 60’s who really want one of the young chicks.

_____________________________

"The heart of another is a dark forest, always,.... no matter how close it has been to one's own.",

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 30

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 4:33:05 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i usualy prefer to play whit pepole close to my own age, 18 to 35 or so, but age is not all inportant, they way a person acts is mutch more inportant, and i try in my life extension work to eliminate my concern for age from my mind.

(in reply to PetTeacher)

Post #: 31

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 6:26:02 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If you're looking for the sexy young "thang" who looks fabulous in latex, you might be setting yourself up for rejection.

Dusty, for the record, you probably look more fabulous all dolled up then most women in their 20s and 30s. Just wanted to say that. ;-)

As a youngish Domme, 33, I often get approached by men old enough to be my father. Since my objective is to find a partner who will be not only be devoted to me, someone who I can build a life with, then someone closer to my age (-5/+10) is going to be more suitable for me. That said, I've had 2 playpartners in the last year that have been in their late 40s. These were never going to be long term things. These were mutually agreed upon to be about pleasure and exchange. But as for something more long term/serious with emotional involvement, I have stricter criteria.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 32

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 7:19:52 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Dusty, for the record, you probably look more fabulous all dolled up then most women in their 20s and 30s. Just wanted to say that. ;-)

*blushes at LA's compliment and quickly goes back to Her "Yoga for Dummies" video! "Stretch those muscles!" "I said, stretch those old, decrepit muscles!"

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 9/18/2005 7:20:14 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 33

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 7:49:58 PM

slimsub

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

If a profile listed age requirements and I was outside of what it was, I would not contact that person and my approach is always respectful. I do know how to approach a Domme. We all know people in their 50s who act like they are in the 70s and vice versa. All I am trying to say is do not base an entire decision strictly on a number. Thank you all so much for your intelligent comments.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 34

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 9:46:18 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I agree that using a number as a sole criterion isn't the greatest idea, but I am solidly in the camp of the other ladies on the age issue, especially as I age myself.

I used to date men who were at least ten years older than me, often 15 years older. When I was 35, that was okay. Now I am over 40, and I have to think ahead. Sure, I can have fun with a person who is 55 or 60, and I do. I would not choose that person for a relationship.

I get hit on by a lot of young men---by which I mean under 30. I am old enough to have adult children. I get along great with the young folks. But to me, a young person is just not an erotic object, even though that person might be physically beautiful. In my mind, I would feel like Mrs Robinson, and that ain't me! Also, there are some serious generational issues with younger folks. I just can't get into the culture of entitlement.

Good luck hunting----as usual, I have to suggest getting out and physically meeting folks as the best route to making a match.

:)Francine

(in reply to slimsub)

Post #: 35

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 10:27:51 PM

ManOwner

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

It's important because I'm 27, I have a hot young body, and skanky old men gross me out.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 36

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 10:38:00 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

It's important because I'm 27, I have a hot young body, and skanky old men gross me out.

LOL, okay kool, but how do you feel about skanky young men?

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 9/18/2005 11:10:35 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to ManOwner)

Post #: 37

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/18/2005 10:42:14 PM

ManOwner

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Surprisingly tolerable, depending on how skanky. The hygeine thing is important, but a young and sexy guy will get away with a little more. Truthfully, the biggest turn-off with the old coots is their horny/needy/sleazy vibe.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 38

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/19/2005 5:17:34 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

For the record, I have found older, distinguished gentlemen who have charm and class and don't even come close to matching your description. The horny/needy/sleazy vibe can come off just about anyone, even a Domme.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ManOwner)

Post #: 39

RE: Why is age so important? - 9/19/2005 5:43:25 AM

eslave

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/26/2004
Status: offline

Life is such. Oh well. When i was a young (18-25) subbie my problem was the exact opposite : i was (and still am) only attracted to more mature Dominant Ladies, around 35-45 years old at that time. And i was being turned down by a lot of the potential dommes i met online on the sole basis of my age, even before the first real conversation could take place.
Well, so what ? Age is a criteria for all of us at some point or another, and we just have to deal with it and accept the criterias of others we meet, however frustrating it might be.
And cheer up : age is usually only a "turn down" initially, before conversation can occur. But if your wits, honesty and skills allow you by chance to engage conversation, the age criteria might often vanishes to profit of the formers (and looks, too, i must admit...). At least it had for me on several occasion (for *our* greatest enjoyment !)

So cheer up !

eslave.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 40

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