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"The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:31:06 PM   
wordstoponder


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
Was just browsing my bookmarks of Lifestyle links and stumbled upon this list of thought-provoking "needs".  You can access the website here: http://www.esodom.com/quarters/slaveneeds.htm.  I feel that this list of needs is important for everyone in the Lifestyle to keep in their mind, whether slave or submissive, dominant or Master.

The need for unconditional love and acceptance.

The need for certainty and permanence.

The need for discipline in every sense of the word.
    (What is every sense of the word?  I don't understand)

The need to have the little and scared girl whom you are recognized
and accepted and loved for herself.

The need for containment and clear boundaries of behavior.

The need for consistent and logical consequences for behavior.

The need to feel open and unembarrassed gratitude.

The need for careful guidance.

The need to know that you are not in control and cannot successfully
manipulate your owner.
    (I feel that this is important for me because there are times when I have crazy depressive episodes and attempt to manipulate the Man I'm with, and instead of caving in, I need Him to remain in control and to put me in my place)

The need to serve your owner.
    (Is this a "need" or is it only a strong desire?)

The need for your owner to appreciate and to support your
enthusiasms wherever he thinks that they should be supported.
    (In other words, the Owner needs to encourage the "slave" (submissive, whatever) to pursue their interests and passions, whether or not they are within their own personal interests)

The need to know that your service pleases your owner emotionally
and practically and sexually.

The need to know that you are neither required nor permitted to try
to dominate yourself and that your owner will provide the force to
take you and to own you.
    (I have issues with this particular point.  A submissive/slave should be able to take care of herself, whether or not she/he is owned)

The need to be certain that your owner will not withdraw from you
emotionally.

The need to be completely opened up and naked before your owner and
to know that you will never be permitted to hide.

The need to be certain that your owner does not lie to you and does
not hide from you.

The need to be tiny and safe at your owner's feet.
    (The "need" to be tiny?)

The need to feel overwhelmed by your owner.
    (Overwhelmed, how?)

The need to know that your owner does not fear you in any way and
that he does not edit his requirements of you so as to be limited to
only those things that you already want to do.

The need to know that your owner will make you face the hard things
and not let you run away from them but that he will handle the
things that you simply cannot.
    (Very important!)

The need to be stroked and reassured and praised but never in a
pandering way.

The need to be as sure of your owner's benevolence as you are of his
ownership of you.

The need to know with certainty that your owner takes great joy and
derives enormous satisfaction from owning you and using you.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:36:36 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
You are joking right? For me...this list is nothing but rubbish...you want to follow it, fine...do so...but no thank you.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to wordstoponder)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:41:08 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
DAMN IT!!!!! i knew it....i just knew eventually You would all figure out that i'm not a "twue" slave!!!!!

*grrrs because i can't insert that blue crying face*

Kali



_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:47:21 PM   
womyn


Posts: 216
Joined: 12/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wordstoponder

Was just browsing my bookmarks of Lifestyle links and stumbled upon this list of thought-provoking "needs".  You can access the website here: http://www.esodom.com/quarters/slaveneeds.htm.  I feel that this list of needs is important for everyone in the Lifestyle to keep in their mind, whether slave or submissive, dominant or Master.

The need for unconditional love and acceptance.

The need for certainty and permanence.

The need for discipline in every sense of the word.
   (What is every sense of the word?  I don't understand)

The need to have the little and scared girl whom you are recognized
and accepted and loved for herself.

The need for containment and clear boundaries of behavior.

The need for consistent and logical consequences for behavior.

The need to feel open and unembarrassed gratitude.

The need for careful guidance.

The need to know that you are not in control and cannot successfully
manipulate your owner.
   (I feel that this is important for me because there are times when I have crazy depressive episodes and attempt to manipulate the Man I'm with, and instead of caving in, I need Him to remain in control and to put me in my place)

The need to serve your owner.
   (Is this a "need" or is it only a strong desire?)

The need for your owner to appreciate and to support your
enthusiasms wherever he thinks that they should be supported.
   (In other words, the Owner needs to encourage the "slave" (submissive, whatever) to pursue their interests and passions, whether or not they are within their own personal interests)

The need to know that your service pleases your owner emotionally
and practically and sexually.

The need to know that you are neither required nor permitted to try
to dominate yourself and that your owner will provide the force to
take you and to own you.
   (I have issues with this particular point.  A submissive/slave should be able to take care of herself, whether or not she/he is owned)

The need to be certain that your owner will not withdraw from you
emotionally.

The need to be completely opened up and naked before your owner and
to know that you will never be permitted to hide.

The need to be certain that your owner does not lie to you and does
not hide from you.

The need to be tiny and safe at your owner's feet.
   (The "need" to be tiny?)

The need to feel overwhelmed by your owner.
   (Overwhelmed, how?)

The need to know that your owner does not fear you in any way and
that he does not edit his requirements of you so as to be limited to
only those things that you already want to do.

The need to know that your owner will make you face the hard things
and not let you run away from them but that he will handle the
things that you simply cannot.
   (Very important!)

The need to be stroked and reassured and praised but never in a
pandering way.

The need to be as sure of your owner's benevolence as you are of his
ownership of you.

The need to know with certainty that your owner takes great joy and
derives enormous satisfaction from owning you and using you.




Wow, that's really beautiful! It makes me sad and wistful because I don't know if I'll ever have that in my life!

(in reply to wordstoponder)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:48:37 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
geesus ladies, someone pee in your wheaties today??
 
 
Sure may not be for you but a new poster, expressing THEIR opinion--and asking some reality check questions.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:50:24 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

geesus ladies, someone pee in your wheaties today??
 
 
Sure may not be for you but a new poster, expressing THEIR opinion--and asking some reality check questions.

Oh well...life goes on, even when I am reprimanded



_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:50:33 PM   
womyn


Posts: 216
Joined: 12/10/2007
Status: offline
well there's always dark chocolate...guaranteed to give you that lift...mmmmm

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 4:52:31 PM   
MsIncontrol


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/3/2007
Status: offline
This list like any other list (128 rules of submission, 8 rules of domination, 12 million ways to piss off your domme) only is pertinent to the person who wrote it.  My rules or the needs of my slave and every other person in the lifestyle can be and are surely not the same. 

I think it is best to do a lot of self discovery and find out what YOUR needs are, what your owners wants and wishes are...and not worry about someone else's idea of their slave needs.

_____________________________

Happiness is only real when shared. - Christopher McCandless

(in reply to wordstoponder)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:19:02 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

geesus ladies, someone pee in your wheaties today??
 
 
Sure may not be for you but a new poster, expressing THEIR opinion--and asking some reality check questions.


LadyHathor,
No offense intended but perhaps i missed the portion of the OP where she expressed her questions. i did read her rhetorical questions of herself... But, perhaps i'm just blind today....Or perhaps the urine in my wheaties has clouded my judgement.



_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:25:33 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
  tomorrow we will all switch to shredded wheat!
 
LOL

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:30:33 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
The list is a lovely way to begin your idea, but to use as an end all be all it is not relavent. EVeryone develops their own needs as the relationships mature.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:41:44 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
I don't recall seeing those needs on Maslow's heirarchy....



_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:44:27 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline

I really do hate random lists like that one, I don’t think it is of any real use to anyone. I prefer straight forward advice to airy floaty drivel.


_____________________________

Visit my website http://www.tigerdom.com

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:45:34 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
I usually don't like lists like these, but...I kinda liked this one!  Not everything on it applied to me but a lot did, surprisingly enough.

Of course, creating a relationship of any kind takes a lot more effort that creating a list, but for some reason this one reasonated with me.  Must be my mood...or my flu. 

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 2/27/2008 5:46:53 PM >

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RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 5:54:45 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
Yeah, this has the feel of coming from the complex research process called "making it up."  I'm certainly not looking for an s-type who has a "need" to feel tiny.  I want someone ten feet tall, who will become even bigger and better because she is with me.

WordsToPonder, if you're interested in exploring what people think who identify themselves as slaves, I suggest you lsiten to people who are (or have been) in real-world slave relationships.  The web site you reference has, among other things, a prominent essay that says "slaves have no rights" -- leading me to believe the entire site is wankeristic.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to celticlord2112)
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RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:01:14 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:02:41 PM   
DefiantFlower


Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
Even the most pragmatic of people do not choose lovers or partners based entirely on a list such as this. I don't think the OP intended for it to be interpretted that way. It could maybe be useful to a submissive who feels a need is not being met but can't quite figure out what that need is or how to express it. Reading what other people feel they "need" to be fulfilled in slavery might help, so they can more effectively communicate the problem to their SO. Anyhoo...just a thought.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:09:17 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?


Well, if they both want to sit at each other's feet, they could save a bundle on furniture.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:21:26 PM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?


greetings, LuckyAlbatross
speaking for myself only, If the dominant is the one so needy, I would hardly feel like dropping to his feet, I could hardly see him in a dominanting manner.

< Message edited by candisa -- 2/27/2008 6:22:59 PM >


_____________________________

respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: "The Needs of a Slave" - 2/27/2008 6:21:44 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I usually don't like lists like these, but...I kinda liked this one!  Not everything on it applied to me but a lot did, surprisingly enough.

Of course, creating a relationship of any kind takes a lot more effort that creating a list, but for some reason this one reasonated with me.  Must be my mood...or my flu. 


*sprays owned's post with Lysol*

Gonna hafta agree with owned on this one except for the flu part.   And to add to that I'd say that some things may not be considered "needs" so much as things that would/have made me happier and more fulfilled in my relationship. 


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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