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RE: DEAR CALI - 5/12/2008 7:25:58 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus
Is 'blowhard' a descriptor or solid advice?


Consider it a noun, not a verb.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 801
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/13/2008 2:22:31 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Cali,

Some recently told me, "YOU SUCK!", to which I replied, "You saw the pictures...?" with a feigned look of terror.

I know, it's mocking the Oral, and you being the Oral Oracle and all, I thought you might know the right penance.  The priest just walked off, shaking his head; teach him to tell me I suck...!



_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 802
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/13/2008 2:50:18 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus
Some recently told me, "YOU SUCK!"...  The priest just walked off...


Lumus dear, it was not a statement, it was a command.  He wanted you to do the deed to him.  There should have been a pause, a comma in there:  "You, suck!".  Or even another exclamation point:  "You! Suck!".  See?

Cali
(I am sooooo going to hell for this one)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Lumus)
Profile   Post #: 803
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/13/2008 2:54:08 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Cali
(I am sooooo going to hell for this one)


.oO(Sweet...we both know you'll make it there first, you can give me directions.  It's Hell, I'll call ahead on a Verizon cell phone because I love irony.)



_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 804
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:10:53 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		 



   Dear Cali

Why do I feel lonely and insecure when I can't see you posting wise replies to ppl's problems?

Confused

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 805
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:15:35 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner
Why do I feel lonely and insecure when I can't see you posting wise replies to ppl's problems?


Darlin'?  Are you saying the words I post are no longer full of wisdom??

Cali
(been missing you SunDude)


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 806
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:27:57 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		 




Sheesh - panic attack over. Hi toots

Whilst that nice Mr Shakespeare told Mr Horatio that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in his philosophy, some things are simply not possible dear ("the words I post are no longer full of wisdom").

(And I've been reaping the whirlwind of too much work backlog as a result of spending time in CM).

 

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 807
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:30:48 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well, you're not going to believe this, but I did say that blowjobs are not the answer to everything.  Certainly not the answer to some dweeb that can't decide if he wants to make a date with me or not. 

  As of this moment, there is no emoticon for hell freezing over, so it's just pigs aflyin'.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 808
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:46:25 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline 		 



See what I mean? Pure wisdom (the dweeb thing). Is why we all respect you as well as love you kid

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 809
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:48:26 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Dear Cali,

you rock :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 810
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 1:53:02 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Why thank you kindly, Miss GT. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 811
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 6:29:41 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Dearest Oral Oracle**,
Oh wise and noble keeper of the sacred trademark for Blow Jobs®, I have always been a fan of yours and of giving or receiving oral sex.  Especially those passionate and frothy 69 encounters when I can feel my entire shaft disappear down my loving slave’s throat while I bury my hand deep inside her as I lick her.  Having the control to bring her to orgasm at my will and to time it so she is climaxing at the same time I do thrills me.  Feeling her gag on her Master’s cock in mutual simultaneous pleasure is my favorite type of oral sex. 

Being jaded by a history intense oral sex and deep throats, over the years I have found that some slaves, even those with the most sincere passion for oral delights, cannot always get my modest member down their throat.  I once had a very petite slave and size truly was an issue.  She couldn’t receive my modest member to it's depths.  Eventually, she found that a few shots of Frangelico loosened her up enough delight me fully.  Through
experience I found Frangelico, Ouzo, Pernod and Chartreuse also have a relaxing effect on slave type throat muscles. 
 
The problem is that recently I have met someone new that cannot get my modest member down their throat and they do not consume alcoholic beverages.  It isn’t a gag reflex problem, it’s a matter overcoming her tension.  It is quite frustrating for her as she is a size queen and never had this problem before. Is there anything you can suggest?  Is there some special Cali Girl secret exercise you would care to share? 

Sincerely,
He who treads in shallow waters
**Thanks Lumus, nice title!

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 812
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 7:00:50 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

while I bury my hand deep inside her


*pudddddle*


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 813
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 7:28:15 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

(deleted bragging of simultaneous orgasming)

(deleted tales of liquoring up the women to have sex with them)

(deleted obvious bragging of size disguised as seeking help because a woman's throat is too small for your manly man parts)

Is there some special Cali Girl secret exercise you would care to share? 


Please refer back to post number 446 of my column.

Cali

< Message edited by CalifChick -- 5/20/2008 7:29:00 PM >

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 814
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 9:39:35 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline


Dearest OO*,
You are a (sex) life saver.  Thank you for sharing your sensual and pervy oral secrets.  I now see a light at the end of what had previously been a very short tunnel.

Your exercise routine is much better than the alternative throat replacement surgery, buying some jaws of life, doing penis reduction exercises, taking penis reduction pills or getting penis reduction surgery.  Because my modest <insert copious amounts of bragging here> is as precious to me as her tiny oral cavity is to her. 

Someone must have torn page number 446 out of my copy of the CBJB®**.(pronounced ceebee jaybee).  I will help my girl put that into practice religiously now that I have a copy.  I owe you one.  Should find yourself teaching classes, I would gladly you pay back for your wonderful advice and volunteer as a test subject for any of your oral demonstrations. 
 
Best Wishes,
A man who sees a deeper tunnel in the near future. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*   OO: Oral Oracle
** CBJB: Cali’s Blow Job Bible®

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 815
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 10:53:01 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		You're welcome.  I suppose I would have no shortage of demo models.  Yes, go ahead GT, snicker cuz I said "shortage".  LOL!

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 816
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 10:55:19 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*snicker*

Dear Cali...

I'm a visual kind of person.. any chance I can watch you do demos?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 817
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:11:11 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Sure GT, I'm a kinda sorta exhibitionist kinda chicky.  Kinda. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 818
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:15:40 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I promise to be ..quiet....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 819
RE: DEAR CALI - 5/20/2008 11:30:42 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick
Sure GT, I'm a kinda sorta exhibitionist kinda chicky.  Kinda. 

Cali

Kinda’… sorta’?  The outgoing, ostentatiously, overt oral oracle is “kinda’”, “sorta’” exhibitionistic?

...and I'm kindaa' humble in a modest sorta' way.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 820
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