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RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 4:27:48 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

Am I nuts, or are all dommes here like this?

Am I nuts or are all the whining subs here like this?

A fool & his money is soon parted.

I think you already know this even though your words are desperately reaching out to place the blame on the other person.

DENIAL

Not once in 20 yrs of living this lifestyle have I ever once taken money, asked for money from a potential submissive.

The women that most often assist the sub with draining his wallet are not on this area of the site. The dominant women on this side will inform you of this.

BEST ADVICE:
1) cut your losses with this one & don't pay for the dress... let the clerk pay for it, I'm sure he gets a employee discount.

2) don't be so quick to shell out money to the next woman you meet. If she is 17 yrs your junior, she is most likely not interested in any LTR, just short term "how much can I get out of this guy"

MstrssPassion

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 61

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 4:45:49 AM

ModeratorSeven

Posts: 558
Status: offline

This warning is directed to all on this thread who have partaken in attacks and personal insults to other participants on the forum. Baiting and condescending written words or posts are also not welcome and considered against TOS.

Personal ideas and thoughts are always welcomed and appreciated on the forum, but personal attacks are not. Please keep insults and personal attacks off the forum and disagreements of that nature into private.

Continued behaviour along the same lines can lead to a person being placed on moderation for 1 week, followed by review.

Mod7

_____________________________

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
Be the change that you want to see in the world.
...wise man that Gandhi

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 62

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 5:06:55 AM

prettyfellowme

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

The women that most often assist the sub with draining his wallet are not on this area of the site. The dominant women on this side will inform you of this.

Thank you for your advice Passion. Just an FYI. I met her on this site.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 63

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 5:15:15 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
The women that most often assist the sub with draining his wallet are not on this area of the site. The dominant women on this side will inform you of this.

Note my words...

this area of the site (the forums)

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 9/29/2005 5:19:04 AM >

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 64

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 6:26:39 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: prettyfellowme

Believe it or not folks, this is the second time in less than two months that a domme has tried to hustle me. Am I nuts, or are all dommes here like this?

As I see it, everyone has a choice, and prettyfellow, you made the choices that unfortunately cost plenty of money, not once, but twice.

I don't think you're nuts, but I do think you are doing yourself, as well as the ladies here a disservice by suggesting "all" dommes may be like the two you've met. It's better not to generalize, and it's also best to learn from past mistakes.

I have to say, that if a man made offers to pay for things, after just meeting me for the first time, I'd run in the opposite direction. It's apparent that these women had an agenda to empty your wallet, but I'd have to question why you might;ve offered to give up so much, and ask what you may have expected in return, after only just meeting them? Did you have an agenda that you might not want to admit here? Is buying things for a woman your way of showing attention, gratitude, or pay for future services?

How much time and effort was put into the "relationship" prior to meeting and spending money on them?

I do hope that this doesn't happen to you yet again, prettyfellow, but maybe you should leave your wallet at home, the next time you meet a woman.

Be careful, be safe, and hang onto your money!

K

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 65

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 6:40:05 AM

night101owl

Posts: 83
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline

She clearly shouldn't have taken your money having just met you, because that's inappropriate. But having taken your money, she wasn't obligated to pursue any sort of relationship or activity with you. If you expected that something like that would be forthcoming after you gave her money, you would probably be happier if you sought out the services of an established pro.

If you're finding yourself in a pattern of being hustled, stop giving money to people you've just met.

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 66

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 7:23:44 AM

sub4mistressnsir

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

Am I nuts, or are all dommes here like this?

Am I nuts or are all the whining subs here like this?

A fool & his money is soon parted.

I think you already know this even though your words are desperately reaching out to place the blame on the other person.

DENIAL

Not once in 20 yrs of living this lifestyle have I ever once taken money, asked for money from a potential submissive.

The women that most often assist the sub with draining his wallet are not on this area of the site. The dominant women on this side will inform you of this.

BEST ADVICE:
1) cut your losses with this one & don't pay for the dress... let the clerk pay for it, I'm sure he gets a employee discount.

2) don't be so quick to shell out money to the next woman you meet. If she is 17 yrs your junior, she is most likely not interested in any LTR, just short term "how much can I get out of this guy"

MstrssPassion

Wouldn't it make more sense to wait atleast until your commited to someone??
shoot.. I offered Sir money for gas one time, since he has to travel to see me and he wouldn't accept it.
I guess it is your money and you can give it to whomever you want, but do you actually want money in your pocket or do you want it empty?
and if you are going to give money away for free.. I can become a Domme for a moment.
:)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 67

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 7:25:49 AM

sub4mistressnsir

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

MstrssPassion

I originally quoted you to say i agree with you 100%.. then I got carried away...
<smiles>
hmmmm.. is a sub with a brain common?

(in reply to sub4mistressnsir)

Post #: 68

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 7:27:04 AM

prettyfellowme

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/15/2005
Status: offline

Both of these women were established pros. Both indicated they were looking for a permenant relationship. One told me to start bringing my clothes so I would have them there when I was ready to move. The other told me to start looking at chastity devices, so as soon as it became permenant, we could get one. I didn't just jump in and buy things for these women. I do know that both were financially pressed. I ended both relationships. One appeared on this site yesterday, and put the blame on me in her journal, and the other contacted me less than 2 hours ago via IM to tell me what a piece of shit I am because I refuse to pay for her dress.

I believe that my mistake was thinking that I'd have a better opportunity to express myself with a professional domme because they have an understanding of my desire to dress. That was a mistake. I think these two were just the type that will tell a man what he wants to hear as part of the game. I think my best bet is to either look for a lifestyle domme who isn't a pro, or resign myself to the fact that I am too old to find a woman in the lifestyle who has the same interests as me. If I would have come out 30 years ago, I'm sure I wouldn't be stressing as much as I am.

< Message edited by prettyfellowme -- 9/29/2005 7:33:58 AM >

(in reply to night101owl)

Post #: 69

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 8:05:09 AM

Sartoris32801

Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

Here's your story it's sad but true
It's about a domme that you once knew
She took your money than ran around
With every single guy in town........

Here's the moral of the story from the guy who knows.
He was taken from a woman who blows
If you're broke she spits, if you're rich she swallows

Ask any fool that she ever knew
They'll say keep away from run around sue.

Discontinue your search word Domme replaced with Legal Guardian

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 70

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 8:45:26 AM

MistressKay

Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: prettyfellowme
Kay, I truly thank you. I listen to what you say because you are intelligent, articulate, sincere, and you make sense. Did I mention I adore red hair? Wanna be my long distance mentor? I'll run all my contacts through you. Thanks again

Thank you most kindly for the compliments but I don't have the time or energy to be responsible for anyone other than myself. I don't mind answering questions, I don't mind being a sounding board - but the decisions you make are yours alone and the responsibility for yourself is yours alone. It is your job to see to it that you choose wisely who to give your submission (and your future) to - if you feel you are not competent to do this for yourself then perhaps you aren't ready for that kind of relationship yet. You received many different views from people here in reaction to your situation and they all basically said the same thing... if you open yourself up to be taken advantage of - you WILL be taken advantage of.

It all starts with you darling and I know you have a great deal of inner strength to tap into. Your desire to serve is admirable, but you do yourself a disservice when you give yourself away too easily. Here is something that everyone should know - WE set the standards by which others will treat us - if we treat ourselves with dignity and respect... others will treat us with dignity and respect - if we talk down about ourselves... others will talk down about us too. If we are desperate... then we will attract desperate people.

Even if you crave humiliation and degredation you don't want those characteristics to be the foundation of your future relationship. The humiliation should come as a side playfulness within the context of a scene... it should not come 24/7 because if that were true then your partner would use you and throw you away because you have NO value. Think on this PrettyFellowme... what do you really want in a potential partner? You mentioned longterm... do you know what you have to offer to a longterm potential partner? What do you bring to the relationship and how is her life enhanced by you being in it? When you talk long term it is no longer about just your fantasies, it's about her needs too.

A power exchange is just that... an exchange... both give, both take, and in the end if you are patient and wise in your choices you end up in a balanced relationship where bdsm enhances the quality of both your lives and does not consume those lives to the point where nothing else can exist. We all have to live in the real world and thus need a balance of bdsm, vanilla, family, friends, careers, spirituality, physical and intellectual challenges, etc. BDSM shouldn't define who you are - but it can define how you express your deepest passions for your partner. You are so much more than just a sub, or just a son, or just a man, or just an employee.... you are a multifaceted prism and bdsm is just one shade within many facets.

wishing you all that you desire,

Lady Kay

"All will be rewarded... not all rewards are pleasant!"

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 71

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 9:28:15 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Everyone, you're not going to believe this. I went to my homepage just now, and I had messages from two dommes. One is 22 and the other is 29.

They probably found out you're giving away money.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 72

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 9:31:30 AM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Honestly, I doubt that. There was an interesting thread a couple of months ago about the different ways that people tend to respond to male and female posters. There was a huge consensus that people are more likely to respond to a female poster with sympathy and to a male poster with derision.

Guess I'm one of the rare few who doesn't look at gender when someone does something stupid, then. I'm an equal-opportunity chastiser, although I tend to be less sympathetic to women, simply because I've seen FAR too many of them cry wolf when things didn't go their way. That's how reputations get destroyed.

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 73

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 10:16:10 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: prettyfellowme

Both of these women were established pros. Both indicated they were looking for a permenant relationship. One told me to start bringing my clothes so I would have them there when I was ready to move. The other told me to start looking at chastity devices, so as soon as it became permenant, we could get one. I didn't just jump in and buy things for these women. I do know that both were financially pressed. I ended both relationships. One appeared on this site yesterday, and put the blame on me in her journal, and the other contacted me less than 2 hours ago via IM to tell me what a piece of shit I am because I refuse to pay for her dress.

I believe that my mistake was thinking that I'd have a better opportunity to express myself with a professional domme because they have an understanding of my desire to dress. That was a mistake. I think these two were just the type that will tell a man what he wants to hear as part of the game. I think my best bet is to either look for a lifestyle domme who isn't a pro, or resign myself to the fact that I am too old to find a woman in the lifestyle who has the same interests as me. If I would have come out 30 years ago, I'm sure I wouldn't be stressing as much as I am.

In another thread you proudly stated you were of the 1% that is not so focussed on self serving, and are a submissive looking for the bond that comes from pleasure in your service and a woman that knows how to appreciate that.

You've fumbled here because you sought a woman that you thought could satisfy YOUR kinks. You picked a pro, because you assumed she'd better grasp YOUR need to dress. You put the KINK before the woman.

These women put the CASH or payoff above the man. They seek a man that can FILL their wallet yet they can tolerate his presence and push whatever buttons, the fewer the better, so they have time to take on a 'sub sex slave' (read: hot young thing) for more intimate, sensual pleasures.

Both people are seeking a person as a means to an end. You are just as guilty.

Seek a woman you care for and a woman you connect with, and not a woman that will fulfill your fantasies. Change your priorities, and you'll be with women who have changed theirs. Until then, you will find yourself with women who aren't seeking relationships, but are seeking men to satisfy empty areas of their life. Namely, cash flow.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 74

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 10:21:13 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

click on name--profile not found

prettyfellowme<<

i will NOT come down on you for having a big heart and be cold like others i know of.
THAT is NOT what the lifestyle is about...contrary to what SOME people think.......hand out cold hearted advice and put people down for asking for help..THAT is pure bullshit.

i gave away money too..and i WAS Her boy..for 15 months.

but the thing is...i did because She is an old scared woman about to die and i felt bad for Her....
look at this as a lesson....and do NOT give away money unless YOU YOURSELF feel it is worth doing so.

but to answer your question;
NO...........not ALL dommes OR all DOMS are like this.
yeah. it DOES happen. a LOT!
just steer away from them
ok dudes? take care
wolf

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 75

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 11:36:06 AM

sub4mistressnsir

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

If I in anyway have been offensive to you. prettyfellowme.. then I am sorry.

(in reply to lonewolf05)

Post #: 76

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 11:44:06 AM

night101owl

Posts: 83
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline

I meant that you should seek out the services of an established professional for a pro/client relationship. When a pro is on the up and up, both the scene and the price are arranged ahead of time.

I don't think there's anything wrong with professional Dom/mes, and I support the rights of sex workers of all types to do what they do. There is nothing wrong with pursuing a career that brings more joy into the world, and there's nothing wrong with working hard to make a buck. The pros that I know and respect all keep very clear lines between their work and their play, though, and they maintain balanced relationships in their personal lives (they don't expect tribute from members of their families, etc.).

And I don't know your age (can't view your profile), but if EXPERIENCE is what you want, look for people who aren't significantly younger than yourself.

(Edited because I wrote "you're" when I meant "your". Can't let something like that go.)

< Message edited by night101owl -- 9/29/2005 11:45:03 AM >

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 77

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 11:49:10 AM

prettyfellowme

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/15/2005
Status: offline

No, you haven't offended me in the least. I've had several offers in the last couple of days. Mostly in jest. It's nice to see people can laugh througha dificult time. What they don't realize, because I haven't mentioned is, I don't have an abundance of money. Oh, well.

I do take issue with three people that have replied to this and other threads I have posted on. The reason for this is because I feel that their criticizm isn't constructive, but designed to show superiority. I don't think any of them are superior, in fact I do think they are begging for attention. I will not give them the satisfaction of a reply anywhere, even when it is obvious they are trying to bait me into one, and I suggest that if you have issues with people like this, you just ignore them also.

< Message edited by prettyfellowme -- 9/29/2005 11:54:05 AM >

(in reply to sub4mistressnsir)

Post #: 78

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 12:09:21 PM

sub4mistressnsir

Posts: 89
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: prettyfellowme

No, you haven't offended me in the least. I've had several offers in the last couple of days. Mostly in jest. It's nice to see people can laugh througha dificult time. What they don't realize, because I haven't mentioned is, I don't have an abundance of money. Oh, well.

I do take issue with three people that have replied to this and other threads I have posted on. The reason for this is because I feel that their criticizm isn't constructive, but designed to show superiority. I don't think any of them are superior, in fact I do think they are begging for attention. I will not give them the satisfaction of a reply anywhere, even when it is obvious they are trying to bait me into one, and I suggest that if you have issues with people like this, you just ignore them also.

OK just wanted to make sure

(in reply to prettyfellowme)

Post #: 79

RE: typical domme? - 9/29/2005 3:08:23 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
The women that most often assist the sub with draining his wallet are not on this area of the site. The dominant women on this side will inform you of this.

Note my words...

this area of the site (the forums)

It's an important clarification to make for the people that are new to the boards. The "money rant" about femdoms scamming sub men is one that comes up here often.

What MstrssPassion is saying is that MOST (if not ALL) the femdoms that read and post here on the forums (ie, "this side" of the site) are NOT scammers for money. The scammers only take time to set up a profile or find their prey and email them and make contact, and are not generally spending time posting on forums discussing issues regarding having BDSM relationships.

So when subs come on here and complain about "money dommes" they are often "preaching to the choir".

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 80

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