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RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 3:40:28 AM

prettyfellowme

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/15/2005
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Liliy, thank you for the advice. P.T. Barnum actually said: "There's a sucker born every minute."

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RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 5:12:33 AM

Nadine33

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/20/2005
From: Coventry, West Midlands
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First may I say that there is no such thing as a typical domme. All dommes are different in more ways than one...... I'm astounded.............. I am a professional domme, and if you are into fiinancial domination I could understand what is going on as such but normally you would be totally aware of it. Before rushing into any relationship you need to make sure that that 'person' is qenuine, 24/7's don't come easy just cos you want them.........

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Post #: 102

RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 5:44:42 AM

prettyfellowme

Posts: 110
Joined: 9/15/2005
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Thanks for the comments Nadine. I understand that it takes time, but my circumstances may be a little different. I am leaving the area I live in now soon. By that I mean within the next 90 days, and possibly sooner. I thought it would be nice if I could find a domme, and have the decision where I'm going to move to made based on that. I've seen many stunningly beautiful women here from your country, (yourself included) and many others, but unfortunately my retirement income will only be valid in the US and Canada, so that limits me somewhat. When you have to discipline a sub for misdeeds, do you do that with an accent also? I love British accents. As George Bernard Shaw said: "We are two peoples seperated by a common language".

Here is what I mean. If you tell me to get a nappy, I'm going to go to bed. That could be a mistake. Good luck to you, but you may want to list your profile under professional services rather than in general Discussion.

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RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 7:17:59 AM

night101owl

Posts: 83
Joined: 8/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
does 'pro' simply mean they are paid... and i truly mean no disrespect to Aanyone... but isn't that a form of prostitution?

Some professional dominants engage in sexual conduct, and some don't. I consider professional domination to be under the umbrella of "sex work", but I consider "sex work" to be a fairly broad category-- including erotic dancers, porn performers, pornographers, writers of erotica, retailers of sex toys, etc. Anyone who makes a career (or takes a job) in the business of raising erotic energy can be considered a sex worker-- ESPECIALLY when they do so under a government that regularly attempts to criminalize the industry.

Which is a little off topic, but given the current political climate in the U.S., this is on my mind more and more often.

Oh, and you also asked about professional submissives. They're out there, but the demand is not very high, and the job entails a higher degree of risk (letting a customer, someone you don't know on a personal level, tie you up, and trusting him to respect boundaries, or to not steal your purse?) than other forms of sex work, that I think you'll mostly find them working in-house, where there's adequate security.

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Post #: 104

RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 10:22:37 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: prettyfellowme

Thanks for the comments Nadine. I understand that it takes time, but my circumstances may be a little different. I am leaving the area I live in now soon. By that I mean within the next 90 days, and possibly sooner. I thought it would be nice if I could find a domme, and have the decision where I'm going to move to made based on that. I've seen many stunningly beautiful women here from your country, (yourself included) and many others, but unfortunately my retirement income will only be valid in the US and Canada, so that limits me somewhat. When you have to discipline a sub for misdeeds, do you do that with an accent also? I love British accents. As George Bernard Shaw said: "We are two peoples seperated by a common language".

Here is what I mean. If you tell me to get a nappy, I'm going to go to bed. That could be a mistake. Good luck to you, but you may want to list your profile under professional services rather than in general Discussion.

Making rash decisions like basing where you have to move in the next 90 days (or less) are the kinds of things that lead to big trouble. If a femdom who is a scammer gets wind of this, of course she's going to prey on you. You shouldn't be prepared to make life changing decisions based on a potential relationship (read: potential) in a window of less than 90 days. What word comes to mind?

Desperation.

People make bad choices when under pressure. You are putting the cart in frnot of the horse and your insatiable need to be partnered has led you into bad relationship after bad relationship -- and these are YOUR choices. If you slow down and think before you leap, you won't be getting screwed over.

The fact that you have to "impress" a woman quickly and see if a relationship is there because you are prepared to MOVE to be by her means she can get you to jump through all kinds of hoops (and apparently you do, without hesitation).

Why not move somewhere that offers a lifestyle that makes you comfortable and avails you to the hobbies you enjoy. Sailing, hiking, swimming, skiing, cycling, skating, whatever. Not "where I might meet someone to dominate me." Look at it this way -- if you love where you live and meet the right woman, she can move to you instead.

Akasha

< Message edited by AAkasha -- 9/30/2005 10:23:07 AM >

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RE: Hookers was RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 2:06:22 PM

frenchpet

Posts: 587
Joined: 8/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
thank You, Sir... ok can i be a 'pro' slave? LOL (j/k)

There are pro masochists in Japan...

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Post #: 106

RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 3:09:32 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

let me add to the original post. She told me she was interested in a long term relationship with me.

Oh, well, that makes a world of differance doesn't it?

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Post #: 107

RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 3:13:53 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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quote:

Here is what I mean. If you tell me to get a nappy, I'm going to go to bed. That could be a mistake. Good luck to you, but you may want to list your profile under professional services rather than in general Discussion.

You can't be serious. Who the hell are you to tell someone else where it's appropriate for them to list their profiles.

Topping from the bottom is not an attractive quality.

L

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RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 3:18:21 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

quote:

Here is what I mean. If you tell me to get a nappy, I'm going to go to bed. That could be a mistake. Good luck to you, but you may want to list your profile under professional services rather than in general Discussion.

You can't be serious. Who the hell are you to tell someone else where it's appropriate for them to list their profiles.

Topping from the bottom is not an attractive quality.

L

Apparently in his world pro femdoms are not allowed to engage in discussions regarding BDSM relationships? God forbid any of them have real life experience with (non pro) BDSM relationships. In reality, many (if not most) are IN relationships with submissives that are not based on money.

I think they bring a tremendous amount of experience to the table. He might assume they are only here to post looking for clients but that's not true at all. Many post because they have a real interest in the dynamics in BDSM relationships and actually live it.

Akasha

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Post #: 109

RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 4:12:34 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
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People, please try to reign in the desire to post little sniping replies to each other.

XI

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RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 4:42:50 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tristan

I'm always amazed at how defensive the dommes get when a male submissive posts about being taken advantage of by someone. If it was a female submissive who posted, there would be no shortage of real advice without the sarcasm and negative "are you a dumb ass" comments.

Most of the advice and commentary being given here is the exact same advice that I have given to female, male and transgendered submissives -and- to male, female and transgendered dominants who have been looking for the person of their dreams, and get caught by individuals who note the potential for weakness--people like this will try their wiles on anyone...sometimes they actually score, and that makes it worthwhile to try again.

There are good ways to avoid this. First, patience. Nobody finds the love of their life in 3 hours of text messaging, a 9 hour phone call and one weekend visit over dinner or coffee. Finding the right match takes time, and anyone who starts professing undying love/desire and starts asking for stuff in nearly the same breath is most likely a shyster. It doesn't matter if that person aligns submissive, dominant, or flips between the two like a Chinese gymnast.

Second, have some self respect. All of us are worthy of respecting ourselves, and if we don't respect ourselves, how can we possibly expect anyone else to have any respect for us? If we -do- respect ourselves, we will know when to protect ourselves and when to trust others enough to yield ourselves up to their care and protection. In the same way, as dominants, we will know when to focus on the responsibilities we already have, and when it is right to gather another responsibility to ourselves.

Two basic, fundamental concepts that would, if each of us could get a solid hold on them, eliminate the food-source for this particular style of predator.

Lady Zephyr

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RE: Hookers was RE: typical domme? - 9/30/2005 5:27:14 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frenchpet

There are pro masochists in Japan...

Mmm... I've got to take a friend of mine to Japan now...

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RE: typical domme? - 10/1/2005 12:42:55 AM

MistressKay

Posts: 51
Joined: 9/6/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
... but why be a 'pro' Dom or Domme? does 'pro' simply mean they are paid... and i truly mean no disrespect to Aanyone... but isn't that a form of prostitution? ok... i'm blunt... but truly am wondering... and i REALLY don't mean offense to Aanyone..

Not all pro-dommes fall under the same categories -

some pro-dommes are prostitutes (dominatrix) who have no idea what bdsm really is - it just seems like an easy way to make a buck and often includes sexual activities (which are illegal in most states and canada)

some pro-dommes provide sessions with NO sex, NO oral, NO penitration at all, strictly bdsm activities that fall within the legal realm of most states and provinces

some pro-dommes are lifestylers (in fact most of them are!)

and a few pro-dommes do not dominate at all for money - they teach and are professional bdsm educators (like myself). I work professionally with couples helping them to communicate thus adding the passion back into their relationships through the use of role playing and power exchange exploration. I also teach very specific skills such as japanese rope bondage, fire play, percussion play, etc. at workshops and private classes. But beyond all that I am still a lifestyler FemDomme first and foremost. I do not charge for teaching in my own bdsm community (I give back to my community freely).

So now you see - no two pro-dommes are the same and they are as diverse as the kinks in this forum.

There is no such thing as "typical" when speaking of individuality...

Lady Kay
Ottawa, ON Canada

PS - I am NOT on here to advertise - I am here to socialize with other fellow lifestylers. My post was in answer to a direct question put forth.

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Post #: 113