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amelliagrace -> RE: free woman????????????? (3/20/2008 7:18:54 PM)
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FR -
This is a post I wrote about this topic, on a thread in the Gorean forum. I'll paste it here, for those of yo who'd rather not go over there to read it.
I see few differences between a GFW and a non-GFW. The differences, IMO, are limited to the specific applications of gorean philosophy to the specifics of day to day life. Each must guard their freedom, each must at times fight to hold it, against individuals at times, but more often than not from societal norms and government incursion.
The FW is introspective, and mindful of her place in the scheme of things. Being so, she is aware of the internal dynamics of self, and seeks to master herself. It is not necessary for her to be perfect in this, for being human, it ain'tagonna happen. It is imperative, however, that she make ongoing effort in this area. To do otherwise would be to become something less than a true Free Person in mind, heart, and spirit. Being individuals, not all FWs will progress or excel at the same rate in the many areas of self they seek to master.
The FW, by very nature of being a more self determining individual, seeks a different relationship with men than a slave would. The relationship dynamics will, of course, vary from relationship to relationship. Some will choose to be more independent, some less so. Some will insist on more of an equitable partnership than others. She will seek a mate who is her perfect balance. As is the nature of humans - and yes, this includes men [;)] - they will tend to only defer to those they consider to be stronger or more dominant than themselves. Oh, they may be polite and courteous, but when you come down to brass tacks and specific situations, the FW makes consessions only to those she deems worthy, or of superior ability in the circumstance at hand, or because it is otherwise to her advantage - but always it is a conscious choice. Most people, men and women alike, she will consider to be comparable in value to herself, or less, rather than superior.
She may choose to be a slave in the bedroom - or not. She may choose to be the generally subordinate partner in a marriage or SO relationship - or not. She will tend to prefer no intimate relationship at all to one with someone who is not strong enough, talented enough, soul mate enough, to inspire her to follow. Though she may well follow, and also follow well, there are always, for the FW, lines in the sand of heart and mind that she will not cross for anyone.
She can, and frequently will, give subordination and cooperation to another, but it is given - not taken. Try to take it and the FW will usually knock the crap out of you, either figuratively or literally.
The FW, like the FM, can be angelic or a holy terror. There are gracious individuals among them, but so also are there assholes.
The FW, while aware of her nature, and often just as comfortable with it as an FM may be with his own, she is also aware that society has different rule books for FW than for FM. There will be many times when she will swim against the tide of societal opinion, or suffer setback, inconvenience, or other not-so-fun things, rather than give into arbitrary double standards......unless she happens to think it is one that is legitimate.
An FW and slave may share much, by virtue of both being female. Each can be true to thier nature, and still be quite different from each other in the ways they seek to embrace their nature.
The tongue of an FW can be soft or sharp, harsh or healing. The one thing it will not be is bridled. Just like FM, the FW may be wise in this, or a damned fool.
When the right man comes along, the FW can sometimes be submissive enough to almost look like a slave, to a person outside that relationship. But ask that man, and that woman about it, and they will tell you right quickly that it ain't so.
Like a FM, a FW will fight tooth and nail to hold her inner freedom, at the personhood level. She will also loathe the political errosion of her freedoms - or any other type of empingement, for that matter. Chain her, and she will not become enslaved, but merely held captive. (Vast difference between "enslaved" and "held captive".) She will seek for freedom without ceasing. She will rebel, in ways large and small. She will not go quietly into the night, so to speak. For her, slavery is not the path to freedom, as it is for those who are slave at heart. If she can be enslaved, then she was not truly FW to begin with, but slave hearted and unowned, or has temporarily lost her ability to exist as a self determining individual due to trauma.
Sometimes, as with Jason in the Gor books, enslavement will serve as a crucible from which an Free Person emerges.
The FW unashamedly seeks to be true to her nature, her femininity, and to hold her freedom, too. She is about as keen on sacrificing the one to hold the other as a FM would be, were he asked to choose between the two.
She isn't perfect. She isn't always nice. She strives to improve, and to be more today than yesterday, and still more tomorrow. She tends to expect more of herself than others do. She doesn't suffer fools gladdly, though she may be compassionate hearted.
She is what she is. Some men don't get it. Some of them don't like it. The same can be said for those of her own sex. The FW tends to think that is their problem, and not hers.
Frequently the FW finds herself a bit perplexed, with regard to FM. Many times this stems from the fact that many FW hold that it is the very strongest and best of men who can compel an FW to follow along life's path with them as helper, friend, mate, lover, partner....and so they can become perplexed at why such strong and fine men wouldn't see the value in making the effort to develope a strong and long term relationship with an FW.
There are a number of situations in life that muddy the waters in the discussion of what is and is not "FW". One of them being the couples which present themselves in public as Master and slave (for multiple reasons) but in the day to day of their lives together are actually Companions. If you think this doesn't happen, think again.
And there you have my NSHO.
Regards-
Grace
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