No Limits

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

No Limits

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> No Limits

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

No Limits - 3/22/2008 7:59:21 AM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Does no limits mean that even if a scene is obviously doing me psychologically that the dom would not stop? Does it mean that there would be no conversation beforehand so that i would at least be forewarned as to the sort of thing the dom enjoys - or no conversation altogether?

Far be it for me to tell the man who would be my dom what to do, but i WOULD like to know that i would be cared for, at least on some level. Being able to trust the man who would be my dom is paramount to me and knowing that he would do me no psychological harm is important. Physically speaking, i'm not bothered and i'm really open to trying new things, but the psychological damage issue is where i get stuck.

Please, no nasty or sarcastic remarks, i really AM trying to understand.

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

Post #: 1

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:05:17 AM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

to me an "no limits" relationship would be: Dom says "I am going to (fill in anything here)" sub replys "OK"

to me the (fill in anything here) can be replaced with anything, including the words "kill you"

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 2

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:09:31 AM

pissdoll

Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline

we have discussed this many many times on here (hopefully the lovely LA will slap down some old threads).

anyone who is truly no limits is so mentally ill, he/she should not be in general society.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 3

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:11:08 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

First, let me warn you, this thread will probably get really long, really debated, those who say they have no limits will be told they in fantasy, and those who say they do have limits will be told they are controlling their dominants.

Having said that, I will only say that I do not place limits on my Master. I came to trust him enough to trust the limits he imposes on both of us. We don't have conversation before he uses me about what will happen - never did, unless there was something specific that he wanted me to prepare for. I either trusted him or I didn't. If I didn't, we weren't ready to procede yet. LOTS of conversation took place, however, before we ever got to the point of him using me physically. He came to know me well, particularly where all my "buttons" were, if you will. By that I mean, what my history is, what excites me, what scares me, what sets me off into past traumas, what I would love to do but never have, what I can't fathom doing...etc. There was no way he was going to walk into this blindly.

I will also say, if I didn't trust that I would be cared for, I would not have moved forward to playing with him. In fact, that was a limit of his - he actually post poned that activity, as he wasn't sure he had enough of my trust.

Some people believe in no limits, some people don't. Whatever side of that belief, people tend to get really passionate about the subject. If you do a search on it, you will see!!

Good luck :)

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 4

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:11:20 AM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

Greetings Phoenix,

It is up to you to decide what limits you will set.

In no limits M/s relationships, the slave should choose wisely when it comes to putting her life completely in the hands of her Master. It seems to me that most people ease into a no limits relationship working past limiting beliefs that hinder the enslavement.

Most D types have their own limits as well, so a truly limitless relationship would be rare indeed.

When I returned to the lifestyle about 18 months ago, I had a limits list a mile long based on prior unpleasant experiences. During the course of my last couple of relationships, these dissipated and now with SJ they are all but gone. I trust that SJ will use good judgment and take care of me no matter what he chooses to do. I also firmly believe that if something ever went horribly wrong, he would take responsibility for it. Personal responsibility is a key component of our mutual attraction.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 5

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:12:26 AM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pissdoll

we have discussed this many many times on here (hopefully the lovely LA will slap down some old threads).

anyone who is truly no limits is so mentally ill, he/she should not be in general society.

Old threads would be welcome. I just want to understand this issue.

Thanks, PD!

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to pissdoll)

Post #: 6

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:13:18 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

Old threads would be welcome. I just want to understand this issue.

Thanks, PD!

Phoenix

Absent of any being posted, go to Search (top right corner of your screen), type in No Limits, and enjoy your day, lol.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 7

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:13:46 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

I think that many people view no limits to be their limits are their Dominants limits, and one would hope that you were with a Dominant who didnt want to slit your throat.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 8

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:13:58 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Yes.

What people don't understand about a lack of limits comes from paranoia for the most part.

It's really just about trusting the judgement and ethics of a competent Top.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 9

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:15:48 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Yes.

What people don't understand about a lack of limits comes from paranoia for the most part.

It's really just about trusting the judgement and ethics of a competent Top.

Ahhh where is that thread now when we had a debate on this very thing, Bascially some suggest that there are No Limits whatso ever, that if the Dominant wanted to break the subs arm then they would simply hold the arm out, My argument was that if the Dominant had a reputation for breaking subs arms then its very unlikely that he would ever find anyone willing to be his.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 10

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:17:06 AM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Greetings Phoenix,

It is up to you to decide what limits you will set.

In no limits M/s relationships, the slave should choose wisely when it comes to putting her life completely in the hands of her Master. It seems to me that most people ease into a no limits relationship working past limiting beliefs that hinder the enslavement.

Most D types have their own limits as well, so a truly limitless relationship would be rare indeed.

When I returned to the lifestyle about 18 months ago, I had a limits list a mile long based on prior unpleasant experiences. During the course of my last couple of relationships, these dissipated and now with SJ they are all but gone. I trust that SJ will use good judgment and take care of me no matter what he chooses to do. I also firmly believe that if something ever went horribly wrong, he would take responsibility for it. Personal responsibility is a key component of our mutual attraction.

well wishes ~ fairer than she

Greetings fairerthanshe

That would be my impression as well, that a no limits relationship would be eased into. Yet i've read profiles of doms who made it clear that there would be no limits right from the get go and that doesn't sit well with me.

My guess is that even those doms have limits, but i would hesitate to start a relationship with them nonetheless.

My limits list has also shrunk to almost nothing but i'm sure there are things i haven't considered as BDSM is so huge.

well wishes

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 11

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:18:14 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Yes.

What people don't understand about a lack of limits comes from paranoia for the most part.

It's really just about trusting the judgement and ethics of a competent Top.

Ahhh where is that thread now when we had a debate on this very thing, Bascially some suggest that there are No Limits whatso ever, that if the Dominant wanted to break the subs arm then they would simply hold the arm out, My argument was that if the Dominant had a reputation for breaking subs arms then its very unlikely that he would ever find anyone willing to be his.

People are fond of using "straw man arguments" when it comes to anything to do with limits. The guy who said that was blowing smoke. I've always respected a girls capability to cope. But a lot of limits come just from fear of the unknown-you overcome those with education.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 12

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:18:23 AM

pissdoll

Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Ahhh where is that thread now when we had a debate on this very thing, Bascially some suggest that there are No Limits whatso ever, that if the Dominant wanted to break the subs arm then they would simply hold the arm out, My argument was that if the Dominant had a reputation for breaking subs arms then its very unlikely that he would ever find anyone willing to be his.

Ba! this is purely a discussion of semantics and qualifiers.

"i have no limits" is not the same thing as "because i know you won't break my arm (or slit my throat), i have no limits."

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 13

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:19:04 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

I'll say it again: there is no such thing as a no limits sub.

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 14

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:20:23 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Oh, and I have a lot of limits-they have to do with safety. Like std's-which is why I hard limit anything that will put getting one as a risk factor. The others have to do with emotional states-they do matter.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 15

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:21:36 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AMaster

I'll say it again: there is no such thing as a no limits sub.

We have the limits of possibility-if nothing else.

Try ordering a sub to fly to the moon on a doughnut.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to AMaster)

Post #: 16

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:22:32 AM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

Greetings Phoenix,

The Doms who say that are probably not for you. If they make you uncomfortable in a bad way, avoid them. If you find someone who makes you uncomfortable in the good way, give it a try.

You have to maintain your personal integrity when searching for the right fit. It does no good to try to fit into a mold for which you are unsuited. That isn't to say that you won't eventually have a virtually no limits arrangement, but by being true to yourself , you are more apt to find a Dom with whom your compatibility level is higher on more levels.

well wishes ~ fairer

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 17

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:22:56 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pissdoll

Ba! this is purely a discussion of semantics and qualifiers.

"i have no limits" is not the same thing as "because i know you won't break my arm (or slit my throat), i have no limits."

Well put.

(in reply to pissdoll)

Post #: 18

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:23:29 AM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Yes.

What people don't understand about a lack of limits comes from paranoia for the most part.

It's really just about trusting the judgement and ethics of a competent Top.

I hear what you're saying Leatherist, but how can a sub/slave/bottom be expected to trust someone they don't know? It's one thing to build up to a no limits relationship, quite another to meet someone and trust them by saying "okay, no limits at all, do what you like", i think trust can only come with time.

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 19

RE: No Limits - 3/22/2008 8:25:24 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

People are fond of using "straw man arguments" when it comes to anything to do with limits. The guy who said that was blowing smoke. I've always respected a girls capability to cope. But a lot of limits come just from fear of the unknown-you overcome those with education.

Thats probably true, I personally dont have a long list of limits, and Ceno was pretty clear on that when we started. But I mean I know he isnt going to ask me to jump off a building or anything and what he wouldnt want is for the most part what I would refuse anyways, Genuine phobias and the like and things you really really want to try, when I started out I was like, i wont do that or that or that or that but as I have learned more they gradually tapered off.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> No Limits

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094