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Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:16:30 AM

Gemini1766

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I'd like to get an idea as to what others here consider good and safe practices to follow when considering meeting someone for the first time.

No idea is going to work for everyone. Not everyone will agree. And you know what? That's just fine. This is about learning about others' thoughts on the issue, not pushing mine or any other persons'.

So, my thoughts on this subject.

Public place that is well lit, easy access to exits, and no alcohol and never leave your drink unattended, keep it in your hand/sight at all times.

Reasons...
Alcohol can lead people into doing things they would not normally do. A first meeting is not a good time for that.
Keeping your drink in sight at all times is just for personal safety. Date rape drugs anyone?
Well lit place with easy access to exits... well I like to be able to see clearly the person I'm dealing with and believe that a person should be able to find an easy way out if things are not looking kosher.

The above are My opinions and thoughts. They are not meant to be pushed on anyone else. I set up meetings under such circumstances for the other person's comfort and feeling of well being and safety. It's not really about My comfort.

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"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

Post #: 1

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:20:22 AM

Dnomyar

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Why go to some place that you have to drink. I have met in McDonalds, ice cream parlors,parks ect.

(in reply to Gemini1766)

Post #: 2

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:24:17 AM

Fischen

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Joined: 2/22/2008
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Starbucks - lots of people around, and even if things don't turn out so well, you get a decent cup of coffee out of it. It's also a place where you aren't really expected to hang out for all that long, after all, it's just a cup of coffee, not a nine course meal. But if you enjoy the person you meet, no reason why you can't hang around for that second cup.

IHOP -- Denny's -- that sort of meal place. Not too expensive, survivable food, and at most, if things don't go that well, it's no more than an hour from start to finish, and the coffee is halfway decent.

Barnes and Noble with some sort of coffee corner. Pretty good coffee, can get a sandwich too, and if things don't go well, you can pick up a good book.

Fischen

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:25:38 AM

Taboo4Two

Posts: 170
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: NH, TX
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Meet at a munch. It has numerous benefits...

1. Safety in numbers
2. Like minded people
3. Public or semi-public locations
4. If your meeting does not work out you have the support of others to help you exit gracefully.

Domino

(in reply to Gemini1766)

Post #: 4

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:26:00 AM

Gemini1766

Posts: 991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Why go to some place that you have to drink. I have met in McDonalds, ice cream parlors,parks ect.

Dnomyar, those work very well, too. But tell me, please, do you not drink some kind of beverage, be it water, coffee, soft drinks, etc. at all those places? You'll note that my list did not specify a particular place. I like places such as Barnes and Nobles, Borders, etc. where they have a small area where you can have seat, sit down and talk and have a snack and beverage.

I'm sure you did not mean to "put words into my post" but inadvertantly, to me, you did.
Take me at the words you read. Do not add to them, please. When you do, it is your own thoughts invading, not my intended expression of my thoughts. If what I say seems unclear, ask, please, and I will try to clarify.

Thanks,
Gem.

_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 5

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:27:52 AM

SteelofUtah

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From: St George Utah
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Agreed. I try to go to an Arcade or a Fair if it is in town it is HIGHLY Public but at the same time also Private because no one is paying attention to you or usually caring what your discsion is about and it allows you to have FUN on the first encounter.

See I don't care for Bars and things so I actaully have to force myself to go to Munches and I usually find that meeting at a munch is often a VERY BAD IDEA. Sometimes it can just be OVERLOAD for a newly budding relationship and I fdind Munches are breeding grounds for arrogance. Not from everyone mind you but we all know the guy at the munch who is just a little too forward and when he smells someone new at a munch becomes a little to interested in them.

I meet in Highly Public places and I try to incorporate fun.

Some of my Favorite First meet places are.

Mini Golf places.
Pizza Parlors (Like Shakeys before the went away)
Carnivals
Kart Racing Establilshments
WELL TRAVELED Trails here in Zion like the entrance to the Narrows or the Emerald Pond Trails LOTS of people and REALLY pretty scenery.

Steel

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:31:46 AM

Gemini1766

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I am really liking what you all have added. It's all positive and I am sure will help others who are reading them and finding it helpful for when they take the plunge to meet someone for the first time.

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"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 7

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:32:05 AM

MontrealPhoenix

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Why not meet at a large park? That way there is no obligation to buy something, there are benches to sit on, and there tends to be lots of people around. Of course i'm talking about a daytime meeting not at night...

edited to add: amusement park, mini golf, a mall...

< Message edited by MontrealPhoenix -- 4/3/2008 7:34:38 AM >

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:33:29 AM

Gemini1766

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MontrealPhoenix

Why not meet at a large park? That way there is no obligation to buy something, there are benches to sit on, and there tends to be lots of people around. Of course i'm talking about a daytime meeting not at night...

Nothing wrong with that MP. I love parks. Watching kids play, being able to stroll around and enjoy the scenery, etc. Just gotta remember to bring water with me.

_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)

Post #: 9

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:38:15 AM

PanthersMom

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From: Cleveland Ohio
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my meetings have taken place in public areas, usually a cup of coffee and a dessert the first meeting, maybe dinner and something interesting the second. a short first meeting can give you a general idea of the person you're interested in and allow you the option to continue longer, but there's that option to leave without too much fuss. a second, more in depth meeting the second time gives you the chance to get to know someone a little better before you commit to any future play plans.
PM

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Post #: 10

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:41:54 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
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ive noticed that lots of first meets are happening in starbucks lately.
whenever i go into one now i wonder...
are they domme/sub?
shes waiting for her master....
;)
i wonder if the powers that be at SB
have any idea?

< Message edited by domahpet -- 4/3/2008 7:42:44 AM >

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Post #: 11

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:44:57 AM

MontrealPhoenix

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Unfortunately those of us who live in cold climes have no choice, domah - frostbite is soooo unattractive you know

. i know what you mean though, now that i'm in the lifestyle i can't help but speculate *grins*

Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to domahpet)

Post #: 12

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 7:52:35 AM

OmegaG

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Joined: 10/23/2007
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FR

I want to add that no matter where you meet-- listen to your gut. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable go slow until you can figure out why, if yor creepdar goes off, leave.

ETA: and don't get so hung up on actually having a warm human in close proximity to you that you ignore or turn off your instincts, go into the meeting realistically and not optimistically.

< Message edited by OmegaG -- 4/3/2008 7:53:54 AM >

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Post #: 13

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 8:19:21 AM

Gemini1766

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Joined: 3/7/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

FR

I want to add that no matter where you meet-- listen to your gut. If the person makes you feel uncomfortable go slow until you can figure out why, if yor creepdar goes off, leave.

ETA: and don't get so hung up on actually having a warm human in close proximity to you that you ignore or turn off your instincts, go into the meeting realistically and not optimistically.

Excellent advice, OmegaG.

_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 14

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 8:36:07 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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Don't go if you are paranoid. Some people read the horror stories on here and think that it happens a lot. Go into the meeting as if you are on a blind date. Which in most cases you are. Go with an open mind. If it works out great. If it dosent so what. Chalk it up to experience. One I sat with for 5 minutes and ended it. Another we opened and closed the place. You never know.

(in reply to Gemini1766)

Post #: 15

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 8:49:33 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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We met at a Border's with a coffee shop. Funny thing about rape drugs, I'm the horse owner so it would have been a lot easier for me to obtain it than for him, since there are things we do to the animal that he can't tolerate without being tranked. But I really don't think he worried about me slipping a roofie into his drink.

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RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:20:57 AM

chellekitty

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be sure you plan ahead and reserve a hotel/motel room if there is going to be a big event in town....because it is really frustrating once you've gotten all hot and horny at IHOP and then you can't find a hotel room because n'sync is in town and little girls have come from all over texas to see them, and you just want a bed not at your parents house to do some kinky stuff with the Dom you've been talking to for 6 months on the internet with...whoops i mean...think with the big head, not the little head...girls have little heads too...you can always go some place else after a while, if things are flowing right, i am not gonna tell you not to like some "abstinence, before marriage" idiot who thinks teens aren't going to have sex...just don't do the "intimate, romantic" place first with a relative stranger...and trust your gut instincts...

take care
chelle

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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Post #: 17

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:24:26 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Soooo...meeting in a hotel room and being blindfolded and bound within the first minute is not a good idea??? Who knew?

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Post #: 18

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:25:41 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

be sure you plan ahead and reserve a hotel/motel room

know where to find it ...

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Post #: 19

RE: Ideas for first face to face meetings - 4/3/2008 9:29:55 AM

SingleRarity

Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

be sure you plan ahead and reserve a hotel/motel room if there is going to be a big event in town....because it is really frustrating once you've gotten all hot and horny at IHOP and then you can't find a hotel room because n'sync is in town and little girls have come from all over texas to see them, and you just want a bed not at your parents house to do some kinky stuff with the Dom you've been talking to for 6 months on the internet with...whoops i mean...think with the big head, not the little head...girls have little heads too...you can always go some place else after a while, if things are flowing right, i am not gonna tell you not to like some "abstinence, before marriage" idiot who thinks teens aren't going to have sex...just don't do the "intimate, romantic" place first with a relative stranger...and trust your gut instincts...

take care
chelle

What? NSYNC? I think JC is kinky.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 20

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