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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 8:15:26 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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I suppose it's just a way for a Domme/Dom to say to their property "You're Mine, don't forget it" and a way for the sub/slave to "feel" more owned by complying.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 8:17:30 AM

Luciferica

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Joined: 3/18/2008
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I guess if it works for them, who are we to argue?

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 8:20:27 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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On the other hand, I direct al the submissive seekers who come to me and dont know how to take no for an answer to Fox. I tell them he needs to OK any play partner I take on, as my Alpha slave (i hate the term, but they all seem to know what it means) and until he gives them the OK, they may not contact me. So, in a sense, I am saying I will not talk to submissives who want to play unless my slave aproves. Granted, Fox will never aprove and I know it, so its a snipe hunt. But it does get rid of them.

DV

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 8:29:30 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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Daddy doesnt have my password on anything. he trusts me, gee, what a surprise!

he trusts me to be his. he trusts my behavior with others. he also trusts me to be able to deliver a smackdown all by my lonesome to anyone who thinks they're gonna poach on his property. not that it happens often, but every once in a while a new idiot blows into town.

i'm allowed to talk to anyone i want, about anything i think might be an interesting topic, i absolutely have the ability to say "um, not something i am going to discuss with you" and change the subject if its someone that i enjoy talking with.

kitten

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 8:43:47 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
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This has nothing to do with trust or insecurity. I am His possession; He takes care of me. He doesn't share His toys or let anyone mis-use them. (Just as He doesn't let anyone mess with or ride His Harley.)

Knowing my password is not about lack of trust or my ability to fend for myself- it is about transparency.

If I were in a vanilla relationship, I would expect my boundaries to be respected- But, I am not. I am owned. Let's not forget the fundamental differences here. My relationship is based on power exchange dynamics or, what the brilliant KnightofMists called a "Power Enhancement Relationship Dynamic with Authority Transfer".

Master has stated here and elsewhere what His reasoning is behind the warning on my profile. He really needn't do that -He is my authority. He chooses what will and will not occur to me and with me. And that's what I signed on for.

I sometimes think the basics are forgotten in all the I-am-sub-hear-me-roar-and-respect-me nonsense.

< Message edited by hejira92 -- 4/8/2008 8:45:18 AM >

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 8:47:14 AM

tahlly

Posts: 57
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My owner does not stop me from corresponding with other dominants; he does however, screen my mail.

I don’t use chat programs so all my correspondence with others is through either email or real life interaction. Those who I have corresponded with for some time; my owner will read the mails to make sure that they remain courteous towards both myself and towards his ownership of me.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 9:06:56 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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<FR>
To the OP, in one word......yes.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 9:24:40 AM

xxblushesxx

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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HM has my password for everything, but not because He asked. I just thought He should have access to my mail and my accounts should He ever want or need that access. He would be bored stiff reading that stuff though, and really, He just doesn't have the time or the inclination to micro-manage me that way.
I'm not attempting to judge or belittle those who have that dynamic; it is just something I was curious about. (and still am.)

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 9:26:05 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I'm a busy person. I have my own life, my own mail, and my own stuff. I do NOT have time to screen my sub's mail. Hell, at the office I have a secretary for that, why should I adopt that job on the home front?

There are those that enjoy micromanagement, and those who enjoy the lack of privacy. Good for them.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 9:37:06 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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My advice: Don't worry about them.

I've gotten lots of troll c-mails from men, including cock shots. At this moment I am still allowed to talk with whomever I wish (provided they haven't been so rude that Valyraen has decided that I may not speak to them any longer) but if he chooses to say that all men must c-mail him first... oh well. I really believe that the men I've talked to here, and continue to talk to, are class acts who would c-mail Val before contacting me that first time.

I'd only be concerned if the owner was limiting who they can talk to and be friends with in the real world.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 9:44:08 AM

TreasureKY

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

So, I guess I'm just curious as to why someone would order something like this if they are secure with themselves and with theirs; I'm also a little baffled as to why someone would miss out on another's opinion just because of that person's sex...

I don't know if it really has anything to do with security, but maybe it does. Firm doesn't read my email and doesn't appear to care who I talk to. From my end, like you I don't really get "trolls", but I do occasionally get some that just can't take no for an answer. However, I've also rarely gotten offers for real conversation.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 9:53:54 AM

silvermuse

Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
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-FR-

He has my passwords and I have his. We've always worked that way. He doesn't check my emails before I reply to them, but he has access should he so wish.

muse

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:01:11 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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~ Fast Reply ~

quote:

Are doms so insecure...

No - However many insecure people use the ploy of representing themselves as a 'dom' in order to get laid.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:05:27 AM

ChemistryMaster1

Posts: 73
Joined: 3/26/2008
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I call it putting the rules and regulations into effect. Trust no one period.
How would any Dom/Domme protect you if They are unaware of what is going on?

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<<<(...Duty First...)>>>

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:08:07 AM

OnlyMels

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Joined: 2/27/2008
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Well some people have their reasons to be unsecure I mean what if a guy was married and his wife cheated on him and they divorced within the past year I believe its understandable for the guy to be a little unsecure in the new relationship. Also some people probably get more trolls than others I've gotten a few nice men c-mailing me when I first joined but almost all the ones after were trolls. But if he was really that unsecure I would have that all men should email him before emailing me. I've seen that on profiles before also.

< Message edited by OnlyMels -- 4/8/2008 10:11:46 AM >

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:10:36 AM

ownedgirlie

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Some are insecure, some are not. I was not who I am today when we first began talking. Nor was I a member of CM. I frequented a few chat rooms a bit and I had a restriction which forbade me from speaking to any dominant men in IM who I was not already friends with. At the time I was skittish and didn't understand that I didn't need to submit to any human with a penis. I had been grossly misinformed about certain aspects of submission and he was protecting what we were creating by limiting my contact.

That rule was in place for a few months, until he felt confident in my growing self confidence and stability.

By the time I joined CM, his only rule was, "Be clear you are owned" so I chose a really obvious name to cover that requirement. He no longer cares who I talk to. I've made some friendships with dominant men with whom I have either met or spoken to on the phone. He initially asks what we talk about and then leaves it alone. Frankly I've received more inappropriate behavior from non-dominant friends than dominant ones.

I never understood the "that's so insecure" conclusion. Having been on the side of the equation where a slave friend was no longer allowed contact with others, including myself, I can understand feeling angry, confused or upset about having a friend suddenly removed from my world. And I know it can be easy to jump to conclusions about the owner which has made that decision. But to decide any owner with such a rule must surely be insecure and his/her submissive must surely be unsure of themselves isn't something I believe in. In my case, yes I was unsure of myself, however, so it was a good rule for me to have.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:11:47 AM

Dnomyar

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CM am I to understand that you wou't have a relationship with someone who you can trust. I don't think that trust has anything to do with this. Some people are just plain nosey. The only time I would read other peoples mail is it was a sports magazine.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:17:29 AM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

~ Fast Reply ~
quote:

Are doms so insecure...

No - However many insecure people use the ploy of representing themselves as a 'dom' in order to get laid.

Oh, now that makes sense! Thank you!

Owned Girlie, your reply also made a lot of sense to me.

Chemistry, I'm sorry, but, I do not need to be protected from my email. I would guess most do not.

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:19:10 AM

AquaticSub

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As with many things in life, the act could mean they are insecure. But from the outside, most of the owners in our world can look insecure - otherwise why would they feel the need to own us and beat us? Secure people don't need to keep track of their partner and they can handle a partner who is free to do as they please.

IMHO, it's as unfair to judge those you don't know based on a few lines in a profile as it is for others to judge your owner because he likes to own you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Are doms so insecure... - 4/8/2008 10:23:06 AM

xxblushesxx

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Yes, but if I don't ask questions how will I know the answers?

HM doesn't keep track of me; He trusts me to do what's right in all areas.

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

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