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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:10:14 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: katsmeow

So, I don't post a lot, but something is really bothering me more and more on here. The more I read e-mail, the more people just want 'play.' Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?
 
I talked to someone today who wrote a nasty journal entry about me, because I'm apparently prude. Just because I don't want to take my clothes off and play with a stranger I just met? I call that being safe... But really, my point of view on this is, play being like a vanilla second date, the initial one is a nice dinner, and second one is bringing over edible body paint and licking it off of one another's nude bodies with no emotional connection. I don't deny that there are exceptions to this, but really, is it that common?
 
What happened to the days when people were sane, and didn't want girls that fucked everything with legs?  =[
That's like asking what happened to the days when people weren't kinky? In a judgy vanilla way.  There have always been people who were otside the 'norm' sexually.  And although i was born in 1975...i have heard the sexual revolution occured about 11 years prior to my birth...so when were these mythical days?  Add in the Kinsey report, and one has to go back even further.  Hmmm maybe even the Ingalls and Olsen's were doing key parties? Nostalgia has a way of clouding reality.
quote:

  I think this post was inspired by a bad encounter with another member, report the journal entry and move on. 

  Unless you are mentioned specifically by your CM name, not much you can do here.  It wouldn't surprise me if many girls inspired this guy's journal post. Shakespeare had it wrong..."hell hath no fury like a guy who wants an easy lay, and can't get one.."

(in reply to katsmeow)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:11:45 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm. Nellie Olsen.

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(in reply to lronitulstahp)
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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:21:06 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		Perhaps you should take a look at the judgements you are making before moaning about those made against you.  "Playing" does not equal sex, you make it sound like those of us who play soon after meeting are promiscuous, when sex tends to be a small part of playing.
 
I suspect that you are new to the lifestyle and have a lot to learn. May i suggest you do so before making assumptions as to what everyone else is doing?
 
Phoenix

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(in reply to katsmeow)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:23:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

And when did play become fucking? Lots and lots of play that can be done without sex ... and even without taking too many clothes off! Methinks the OP needs to widen her concepts of play and at least ASK what others might have in mind when they use that term.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]


Dommes tend not to think of fucking as play. But most Doms do insist on sex. Hell, I'm collared and I still get the charming emails the op refers to, the ones that insist I give some weirdo his "Masterly morning cum".

Fem subs get hit on for sex a lot more than for s & m immediately in their email and chat by males.

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:25:31 AM   
MissLily


Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		Well, if you're a prude because you don't take your clothes off for a stranger, then we should start a club, because I never do that as well. Hell, I might chat with someone for 6 months and never take them off!!!

Personally, I use the word play to refer to a session. Not because I don't take it seriously, but because I find it sounds better then "having a full blown session". That's all.

What I find you're refering to is the sort of person on here that's looking for hot sex to jerk off too. That person is probably the same kind of douche bag you'd meet in a bar and send on his way when he tries to talk to you.

Just ignore it, there are morons everywhere. As for the rude comment, it's never fun when that happens, but with the number of people on here, it's bound to happen.

Just be carefull whom you're chatting to. Have a protocol to follow to weed out the retards, it helps.

Good luck and keep the anger away,
Miss Lily

(in reply to katsmeow)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:29:14 AM   
lronitulstahp


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quote:

Just be carefull whom you're chatting to. Have a protocol to follow to weed out the retards, it helps. 
it is an insult to retarded people to have them put in the same category as some douchebag wannabe doms...retarded people can't help how they are....

(in reply to MissLily)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:37:20 AM   
BigDirty


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		Personally I think that the true lifestyle people are here for a specific reason, too fullfill our fetishes/pleasures, but the lines get tristed sometimees because someones Fetish or fantasy is too get laid.  That is not what BDSM is about.  I am currently in Training with a sub, we have neither had sex, not gotten into sexual situations.  That is not what she wants, she wants too be conrolled and have strict guidance and discipline. And we set the guidelines when we were in considertion.  So if I was too violate the protocol for a lay, then I take away from her fantasy for my pleasure.  I will say that as MASTER my pleasure is what my slaves/subs want too achieve, but in the same time, if I make sure they are pleasured, they will give me back 10 fold.  So stick to your MORALS and if they do not like it, tell them too kiss your arse.  Just my .02

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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:37:42 AM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Hmm. Nellie Olsen.


Freak!

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:39:27 AM   
clodivs


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline 		I found it amusing that a bunch of people apparently thought that you were calling them immoral, when all you wanted to ask was if it's possible for someone to keep his/her personal morals intact.  The reality of life is people have different moral standards, and 'immorality' is the excuse people use to try to dictate your actions, and I didn't see you trying to do that to anyone.

As far as the main thrust of your question, yes, it's possible, but most people, especially when you're looking online and on dating/networking sites, really do want a quick fuck.  Don't burden yourself overly over what others say; the assholes may be everywhere out there, but that doesn't mean they're better than you.  Keep your eyes open and pay attention to what people say; eventually you'll find someone you can live with.

(in reply to katsmeow)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:54:29 AM   
colouredin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty
That is not what BDSM is about.


Wow do you have the difinitive definition then? whats that? would you tell me please because I thought BDSM was about anything from furry handcuffs to living in a cage.

quote:


we have neither had sex, not gotten into sexual situations


For me many BDSM activities are sexual but I guess it depends on what you consider sexual, if its purely putting your cock into a womans vagina/ass/mouth then fair enough.

quote:

Clodivs
I found it amusing that a bunch of people apparently thought that you were calling them immoral


who thought that?


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(in reply to BigDirty)
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RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 4:58:28 AM   
BigDirty


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Joined: 2/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty
That is not what BDSM is about.





So you feel that BDSM is about telling someone they are a prude cause the will not take your clothes off???

< Message edited by BigDirty -- 4/14/2008 5:01:51 AM >

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:06:57 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty

ORIGINAL: colouredin

ORIGINAL: BigDirty
That is not what BDSM is about.


So you feel that BDSM is about telling someone they are a prude cause the will not take your clothes off???



Er no.
BDSM is an acronym.  No more. No less.
However - expecting BDSM peeps to be any different from people outside of wiitwd is living in la-la land.  Making the statement that it is immoral to be anything you don't desire and pushing that on others when complaining about being pressured oneself is pot-kettle-black.
 
Creating a box and trying to stand outside when you have become part of it by making the box is - well - a joke.
.andnotaveryfunnyone.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 4/14/2008 5:08:15 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:07:44 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		No i think that BDSM is bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism rather huge umbrella. I think calling someone a prude cos they wont take their clothes off is stupid and I also think that questioning someones morals becuase they want causal play is stupid i think that sometimes PEOPLE are stupid, shocking that.

edit to tut at the.darkness for beating me :P




< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/14/2008 5:08:58 AM >

_____________________________

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:09:40 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

 Is it impossible to keep your morals in tact and still be in this lifestyle?


 
I sure as hell hope so, I've worked 16 years to get to this point, I'd hate to think I had to give them up now!

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:11:07 AM   
RCdc


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Status: offline

the.dark.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:23:14 AM   
BigDirty


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty

ORIGINAL: colouredin

ORIGINAL: BigDirty
That is not what BDSM is about.


So you feel that BDSM is about telling someone they are a prude cause the will not take your clothes off???



Er no.
BDSM is an acronym.  No more. No less.
However - expecting BDSM peeps to be any different from people outside of wiitwd is living in la-la land.  Making the statement that it is immoral to be anything you don't desire and pushing that on others when complaining about being pressured oneself is pot-kettle-black.
 
Creating a box and trying to stand outside when you have become part of it by making the box is - well - a joke.
.andnotaveryfunnyone.
 
the.dark.


So you expect all people too call a person a prude or talk bad about them because they will not do a thing that they feel in there heart is immoral.  I think the guy is a fucking pig too be honest.   Maybe I am reading what she wrote wrong, but from what I gathered, the guys posted a nasty journal because he felt she was being a prude because she felt like an activity that she clearly feels is maybe not so much immoral, but I feel should not just be done, or shown too just anyone.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:26:03 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:



So you expect all people too call a person a prude or talk bad about them because they will not do a thing that they feel in there heart is immoral.  I think the guy is a fucking pig too be honest.   Maybe I am reading what she wrote wrong, but from what I gathered, the guys posted a nasty journal because he felt she was being a prude because she felt like an activity that she clearly feels is maybe not so much immoral, but I feel should not just be done, or shown too just anyone.



In fairness we have only got one side of the story so answering that part seems silly to me because we dont have a clue how the interaction went, everyone is answering the question about why here are no morals in the scene to which the general consensus is that not everyone has the same morals, for me playing on a first meeting has fuck all to do with morals.


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to BigDirty)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:29:37 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

 
Creating a box and trying to stand outside when you have become part of it by making the box is - well - a joke.
.andnotaveryfunnyone.
 
the.dark.


soz about the smiley but it's the nearest one I could find about how it feels when I get out of my own box.....xx


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:36:07 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigDirty

So you expect all people too call a person a prude or talk bad about them because they will not do a thing that they feel in there heart is immoral.

Everyone is getting on the use of a word as such a huge insult.
So, in this guy's eyes she was a prude, and in hers she wasnt. It happens in the vanila world, a girl wont put out a date or two in and shes a prude. A guy wont talk about sex on the phone, and he is a prude. Someone wont discuss their sex life as a topic of conversation, and they are a prude.
It has NOTHING to do with BDSM.
There are people here, involved becasue they want and enjoy the idea of no-strings sex and play. If that doesnt work for someone, then avoid those types. It doesnt work for me, I have been called a prude a million times becasue I wouldnt spread my legs for every sub male who thinks buying me dinner counts as tribute for services owed. I just take that to be a hell of an indicator they arent what I am looking for and move on.
I have morals, impeccable ones. Angel is a Christian who believes very strongly in certain things, and we stick to them. I have never once touched him sexually, that is not how he serves. He has been doing so for 2 years. HE is certainly not a prude, though I am sure plenty of people would accuse him of it.
Fox is a prude. Ask him, he'll tell you. He blushes at the mention of sex, a little suggestion of what Im thinking about doing later makes him flustered. He cannot and will not have a casual conversation about sex. To each their own, but he certainly doesnt take being a prude as an insult.
I think the OP needs to get over being called names by someone who didnt get what they want. Its an attempt at manipulation, to make you feel bad and hopefully make you change your mind and do as they ask. It didnt work, though it did make you question things. Names are ust that, tossed around on here the same as they were on the playground when one of the kids didnt get the big shiny ball they wanted to play with. Dont let it get to you so much.

DV


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VampiresLair

(in reply to BigDirty)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Seriously, when did this become a joke? - 4/14/2008 5:45:04 AM   
BigDirty


Posts: 18
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:



So you expect all people too call a person a prude or talk bad about them because they will not do a thing that they feel in there heart is immoral.  I think the guy is a fucking pig too be honest.   Maybe I am reading what she wrote wrong, but from what I gathered, the guys posted a nasty journal because he felt she was being a prude because she felt like an activity that she clearly feels is maybe not so much immoral, but I feel should not just be done, or shown too just anyone.



In fairness we have only got one side of the story so answering that part seems silly to me because we dont have a clue how the interaction went, everyone is answering the question about why here are no morals in the scene to which the general consensus is that not everyone has the same morals, for me playing on a first meeting has fuck all to do with morals.




Very well said

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 40
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